Wedding Is this FUN???

[Gypsy]

Okay. So I am admittedly the LEAST social of my friends.

SO, it''s a great thing that I have social friends who encourage me to live a
little on occasion.
And I love and adore my BF and MOH and have been bummed she hasn''t shown
interest in wedding stuff to date.
She asked me what I wanted to do for a bachelorette night, and I told her that I
thought that one Friday (wedding is Sunday) we could go to the spa, relax, get
treatments (just a massage, mani and pedi for me) and have some mimosas, so some
window shopping on Santana Row and grab some dinner.

She was very enthusiastic... and well....

Um. Next thing I new five minutes had gone by (don''t ask me where they went...
she was talking) and I was suddenly agreeing to go a club. In San Francisco.
Dressed up by MOH and her henchmen... I MEAN, her friend (there''s one person I
am inviting to our wedding that is HER friend, not so much mine, though I don''t
have anything against her. We''ve just never clicked. We''re very different)... as
a TRAMP.
There was a mention of "wouldn''t it be fun to go to Marshalls or TJ Max and pick
out trashy outfits we''d never wear and there those for a Last Hurrah type
thing."
Now this did not compute. So I THINK I made some kind of noise. Must have been
acceptance cause she seemed encouraged. I KNOW I wasn''t really AGREEING, I was
just stunned and processing.
Cause I wanted a laid back afternoon with mimosas, LV, Tiffany, and a guy names
Sven rubbing my stress away.
And some how I ended up dressed as a CHEAP tramp at a club in San Fran dancing
the night away.

I KNOW. FOR A FACT. I lost track of the conversation.

Clearly she''s craftier than I gave her credit for.

But she was so enthused (granted she wants to go to LV for her bachelorette
party to PARTY-- I thought great will go to the spa and go shopping and started
to think of Fred Leighton-- and she was thinking clubbing and male strippers.
But I thought that since it''s her bachelorette I could go along with the ''fun'')
about taking me out dressed "up" (DOWN) to have one last hurrah...

I THINK I may have agreed.

Again my brain was COMATOSE so I can''t be sure.

But... AM I BEING A FUDDY DUDDY???

Is this FUN???

Has it gotten so bad I don''t recognize it anymore??????

Or um... does this sound like hell on earth to you all too?????

 

[karasue91]

hahahahaha i totally feel you. i was not wanting a bachelorette party AT ALL, but FI''s friend''s wife is now all excited about organizing one. Spa day sounds wonderful, we also talked about a wine tasting. But then she brings up having a Stampede party (crazy rodeo fair thing they have in Calgary every year - think slutty cowgirls and horny coyboy wannabe''s running rampant in EVERY bar for 10 days straight), and I remembered why I didn''t want a bachelorette party in the first place.

haha is there any back-pedaling that can be done? Or is she totally set on this? On the one hand, I remember when my best friend got married and I was nowhere near that stage and thinking she was being kind of boring. But in my defense, I was 21 years old and drinking was still a novel idea. It was hard to relate to her sometimes though, because I was in the party stage and wanted her to come out and have lots of fun with me. So she''s just super excited just to have a wild, crazy night with her BFF!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

To me..no that does not sound fun.

Then again, I may not be the best person to ask because I have never even been to a club.

I think your original idea sounded so much more fun and destressing. I don''t understand the whole go show off to guys since they can''t have me anymore thing. They already can''t have you anymore, why does it make it any different once you''re married? If you''re committed you''re committed. Hope that makes sense.

Maybe you should tell her, hey chica that''s not what I wanted!! That sounds great, but we''ll do that for YOUR bachelorette party. This is mine, so we''re going to a spa, missy! Is that too immature?

 

[Gypsy]

Okay.

So yes. It's five months to the wedding. So I think I can backpedal. And they can't kidnap me if *I* drive. LOL.

Still SHOULD I backpedal?

I enjoy dancing. But, well, I like going to NICE places, ordering NICE drinks IN MODERATION whle dressed UP (really up). Not crazy places where you can get raped and have to stand in a long line to get in... and have to worry about putting your drink down and getting ruffied... especially dressed like a cheap tramp.

Like I would enjoy going to a Spanish restaurant that has flamenco dancers and tapas and lovely cocktails, and then dancing ... not freaky dancing, afterward. You know a mambo... a little spanish guitar. Even if it's all ladies.

My BF is a grad student. We are only two years apart in age, but I've been working and graduated for a long time now. Plus she's been with her fiance since she was 17. So she never did the sex in the city thing. I lived in DC as a single law student 2000 miles away from home.

So I do think she's projecting.

I'm just not there anymore. You know. And I like where I am.

Maybe I should try to find a compromise. I don't trust the henchman, she's a bit reckless.


Maybe I should plan it? MOH is in TX, moving to Missouri, or Mississippi (can't recall which). So she can't really plan. I'm planning everything anyway... my shower, my rehersal dinner... what's one more thing to plan right?

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hmm. Yep, I vote for backpedaling and bridezilla-style planning control. I love the idea of the Spanish restaurant. Yum daiquiris, margaritas, etc!!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:31:30 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Hmm. Yep, I vote for backpedaling and bridezilla-style planning control. I love the idea of the Spanish restaurant. Yum daiquiris, margaritas, etc!!

Sarah honey. If you were nearby I'd take you out. CLUBING. Okay, so I probably wouldn't, but I'd send you out with the henchman and my MOH. (And a body guard).

BTW: Spanish... not mexican honey. As in Spain, not Mexico.

Margaritas are all about tequila and Mexico.

 

[ringster]

that does not sound like fun to me - it makes me tired just reading about it. but what do i know, i''m an ole lady

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Oopsie!!

I am a dork. I have a bad habit of linking food together. Hehe well, I do want FI to go clubbing sometime since I''ve never been. But then he is all like uuugh who would drive after. And I am like that''s what taxis are for? We''re nerds.

 

[Gypsy]

Yeah, I'd prpobably think that too ringster if I weren't having nightmarish flashes of short tight lyra fushia outfits with rhinestones, fishnet and stripper heels.

Sarah, it's fun. I lived outside a lame city in college so we only had lame clubs and I really disliked it. But in DC. HELLO CLUBBING!!! There was a lot of great nighlife (and um... NY was only 5 hours away. Totally doable in your early twenties with enough people to make it sound like a good idea). I enjoyed it. You are in your twenties... So I DEFINITELY think you should go. Take a cab. Or rent a hotel nearby and make a wild night of it.

 

[violet02]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:33:44 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 4/11/2008 2:31:30 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Hmm. Yep, I vote for backpedaling and bridezilla-style planning control. I love the idea of the Spanish restaurant. Yum daiquiris, margaritas, etc!!

Sarah honey. If you were nearby I''d take you out. CLUBING. Okay, so I probably wouldn''t, but I''d send you out with the henchman and my MOH. (And a body guard).

BTW: Spanish... not mexican honey. As in Spain, not Mexico.

Margaritas are all about tequila and Mexico.

Sangria and Tapas!!

I love dining at cha cha cha, no flamenco dancers but yummy food and drinks.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:46:43 AM
Author: violet02

Date: 4/11/2008 2:33:44 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 4/11/2008 2:31:30 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Hmm. Yep, I vote for backpedaling and bridezilla-style planning control. I love the idea of the Spanish restaurant. Yum daiquiris, margaritas, etc!!

Sarah honey. If you were nearby I''d take you out. CLUBING. Okay, so I probably wouldn''t, but I''d send you out with the henchman and my MOH. (And a body guard).

BTW: Spanish... not mexican honey. As in Spain, not Mexico.

Margaritas are all about tequila and Mexico.

Sangria and Tapas!!

I love dining at cha cha cha, no flamenco dancers but yummy food and drinks.

Okay spill location, please. Any chance of a dancing night with some Mambo (I think it would help sell it as a FUN idea) at cha cha cha?

Oh Sangria. Yeah. That''s what I''m talking about.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:46:13 AM
Author: Gypsy
Yeah, I'd prpobably think that too ringster if I weren't having nightmarish flashes of short tight lyra magenta outfits with rhinestones, fishnet and stripper heels.


Sarah, it's fun. I lived outside a lame city in college so we only had lame clubs and I really disliked it. But in DC. HELLO CLUBBING!!! There was a lot of great nighlife (and um... NY was only 5 hours away. Totally doable in your early twenties with enough people to make it sound like a good idea). I enjoyed it. You are in your twenties... So I DEFINITELY think you should go. Take a cab. Or rent a hotel nearby and make a wild night of it.

Hmmm. This is true, we should try this sometime. I am still working on my drinking skills.

Believe it or not I actually never had a drink until I was 21, but not too much changed after except the occasional drink when we went out to dinner. FI is a total lightweight though which is HILARIOUS. We're talking like..Mike's Hard Lemonade lightweight.

Hehe. And he went to a MAJOR drinking school. Still, he lived in the dry (code for we drink less than the others) dorm. Sigh,

my nerd. Of course, that's not saying I am not a lightweight, but hey I only drink once or twice a month and I only turned 21 in January! He is still more of a lightweight than me at least for the purposes of teasing him. Anyway, I will stop babbling because I need to get to sleep. I have an internship interview tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!!

ETA: Why not to go to DC for a weekend FI's parents live so close.

I think I am a bad influence on him sometimes.

 

[Gypsy]

http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5755

I'm a size 14. Just to give you guys a visual. D cups.

Shoes: http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5484

One stop shopping!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:55:10 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS

Date: 4/11/2008 2:46:13 AM
Author: Gypsy
Yeah, I''d prpobably think that too ringster if I weren''t having nightmarish flashes of short tight lyra magenta outfits with rhinestones, fishnet and stripper heels.


Sarah, it''s fun. I lived outside a lame city in college so we only had lame clubs and I really disliked it. But in DC. HELLO CLUBBING!!! There was a lot of great nighlife (and um... NY was only 5 hours away. Totally doable in your early twenties with enough people to make it sound like a good idea). I enjoyed it. You are in your twenties... So I DEFINITELY think you should go. Take a cab. Or rent a hotel nearby and make a wild night of it.

Hmmm. This is true, we should try this sometime. I am still working on my drinking skills.

Believe it or not I actually never had a drink until I was 21, but not too much changed after except the occasional drink when we went out to dinner. FI is a total lightweight though which is HILARIOUS. We''re talking like..Mike''s Hard Lemonade lightweight.

Hehe. And he went to a MAJOR drinking school. Still, he lived in the dry (code for we drink less than the others) dorm. Sigh,

my nerd. Of course, that''s not saying I am not a lightweight, but hey I only drink once or twice a month and I only turned 21 in January! He is still more of a lightweight than me at least for the purposes of teasing him. Anyway, I will stop babbling because I need to get to sleep. I have an internship interview tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!!

Good luck Sarah. Sweet dreams.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Haha ty, and oh yeah nice outfit! Haha.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:57:21 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Haha ty, and oh yeah nice outfit! Haha.

Thanks. I do try. That store has an intersting selection. I'm thinking of ordering MOH a dress. For HER bachelorette party.

She's a big fan of blue and I think the hemlines on these would be interesting as she's 5 foot TEN inches : http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5573 or http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5507 with shoes to match: http://www.hotfash.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=5517

 

[violet02]

Date: 4/11/2008 2:49:16 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 4/11/2008 2:46:43 AM
Author: violet02

Date: 4/11/2008 2:33:44 AM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 4/11/2008 2:31:30 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS
Hmm. Yep, I vote for backpedaling and bridezilla-style planning control. I love the idea of the Spanish restaurant. Yum daiquiris, margaritas, etc!!

Sarah honey. If you were nearby I'd take you out. CLUBING. Okay, so I probably wouldn't, but I'd send you out with the henchman and my MOH. (And a body guard).

BTW: Spanish... not mexican honey. As in Spain, not Mexico.

Margaritas are all about tequila and Mexico.

Sangria and Tapas!!

I love dining at cha cha cha, no flamenco dancers but yummy food and drinks.

Okay spill location, please. Any chance of a dancing night with some Mambo (I think it would help sell it as a FUN idea) at cha cha cha?

Oh Sangria. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

http://www.cha3.com/

I love the one on Mission street, they actually take reservations. Haight street sucks, you wait forever for a table.... also you're already in the mission at that point and can go to Bruno's, the Makeout Room, Beauty Bar, Lone Palm... so many fun places to bar hop. The mission must have mambo somewhere!

I've had multiple birthday dinners at this place followed by drunken fun in the mission.

 

[Gypsy]

Never been bar hopping in the mission. I think I''ll suggest it. It''s the city, it''s tapas and sangria. And there''s cabs and bart. Thanks Violet. Any other suggestions by SF PSers would be totally welcome.

I''m gonna have to put my foot down about the dress code. FIRMLY down.

Not to mention you could catch pnemonia out at night in that outfit in SF... summer, winter, spring or fall.

 

[doodle]

one of my best friends got suckered into a bachelorette party at a friend''s house with a stripper. she had wanted to go to a club or something but figured ah what the heck? well...strippers in homes don''t have rules, so the guy was obscene (i got hit in the forehead with manparts of a guy that wasn''t even pretty! i woke up the next day with a scab on my forehead because i was so grossed out that i literally rubbed the skin off through the course of the evening!!!) moral of the story? if you''re not totally comfortable with it, ABORT MISSION. on the other hand, if you decide to go there, you simply MUST get some of the old school lucite platforms with a goldfish in the heel.

 

[bee*]

ugh that wouldn''t be my idea of fun

Backpedal like you''ve never back pedaled before! Any time my sister has mentioned my hen night she mentions strippers but I think that I''ve protested enough at this stage that she knows that if there''s strippers, there won''t be a bride to be! Tapas and Sangria sounds so much nicer!

 

[zoebartlett]

Gypsy, honey, no, you are not a fuddy duddy! Going to a club (especially one in a big city and ESPECIALLY dressed in a trashy outfit) is NOT my idea of fun. In fact, it would be the thing I would LEAST like to do. I''m not a club kind of girl. I think your idea sounds PERFECT!

I''d suggest that you call your friend and tell her what you really want to do and I wouldn''t cave in to any of her insane ideas.

 

[iheartscience]

I also would not do this on a regular basis/ever in a million years, and it pretty much sounds like torture right now...however, it could be so fun for one night!

I have an idea: do the spa thing all day long, lay by the pool, get massages...and then pregame it a little bit, so it will actually sound like a great idea for you to go out dressed up like a trashy slut! I know I could easily be tricked into thinking this was fun if I had a few drinks in me. (It actually only takes one with me-I am the definition of a lightweight!

) Then go out, dance your drunk, trashily outfitted butt off, and have fun!

And if you''re not having fun, just leave! Just go outside, get a cab and go back to your house/hotel! I do not have a problem doing this, ever! I went out the other night with my sister and a friend of ours, but I really wasn''t feeling it, so I left after about 10 minutes...I don''t cave to peer pressure when I''m standing by the open door of a smoky bar, freezing my butt off and listening to some guy play a loud guitar and sing lame songs he wrote himself!

 

[lliang_chi]

Gypsy, Keep us posted with what''s going on for your b-party. Sangria & dancing sounds like a way better night than "slutted out." Hope things work out for you.

 

[anchor31]

I''m not the most social person either. I hate clubbing and that sort of stuff (what can I say... I''m a boring 22-year-old). The kind of bachelorette you''re describing? Would be my worst nightmare. If you don''t want to do it, backpedal as fast as you can. A day at the spa, though... now that sounds heavenly and FUN.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I''m going to echo those who suggest backpedaling. My ladies did a toned-down version of this for my bachelorette - we went to a great South Indian restaurant in the Mission (Dosa - so YUMMY), and then we went bar-hopping first in the Mission (too quiet to really get a good sense of what they were like), then we hit up some gay bars in the Castro, and then we went to some of the more sketchy/traditional clubs in SOMA. The bars in SOMA were horrible - sketchy guys trying to hit on us (especially me), my MOH ended up having to threaten some guy who wouldn''t leave me alone (she is 5''7" and does rugby and martial arts). The gay bars were WAY more fun - the guys were totally into the whole bachelorette thing but they were sweet instead of sketchy and they were MUCH better dancers

If I had to do it again I would either go the spa route, or better yet do what one of my friends did in August and another is doing next weekend - a day up in Wine Country. We either got a driver or had a DD (depending on # of people going), and drove around and went wine tasting, out to lunch, etc...

Then we came back to San Francisco and had dinner, and I think there was originally a plan to hit up the clubs that night but people were mostly too tired and ended up just hanging out (what can I say, we''re nerds too).

Anyway, so that got kind of long, but basically I''m thinking: if you must go to clubs, make sure they are classy and/or gay clubs

, and seriously consider backpedaling - you don''t get a lot of opportunities to spend really quality time with your close friends, and that was the one thing that DH and I both treasured during our wedding weekend and wedding prep, and so consider what kind of memories you want to have and also how you most enjoy spending time with your friends, and let that be your guide in deciding what to do.

 

[Maisie]

Back pedal!!! Seriously. That plan would be my worst nightmare, how dreadful.

Now a spa day would be my idea of heaven! And then shopping and lovely food!! Yum!!

 

[Gypsy]

Okay. So I''ll let the conversation die. She''ll move, and in a month or so I''ll bring it up again. Mention that I think her idea is fun, FOR HER PARTY, but that I''d really rather keep it low key for mine. Spa day, mimosas, dinner. Early night (rehersal is at 10:30 am). I''ll plan it.

 

[Allison D.]

Ha....I feel your pain. And I''d say, don''t do it.

My MOH is a gal I''m friends with since we''re 7 years old. She met her hubby just after college at 23 years old....married at 29. Didn''t really get a chance to date extensively, and I think she feels wistful for all that she thinks she missed.

We used to hit the dance clubs like mad when we were newly legal (and actually a bit before that). That was fine and fun.........when we were 21. It appeals to me a whole lot less at 39!

So, when she tried to suggest a dance club outing, my more rational and sane friends pointed out that wasn''t really a great plan. We did a really nice dinner and then hit an upscale wine/martini bar later on. MUCH more my speed.

 

[sumbride]

Yeah, sounds like a nightmare to me!

My bachelorette was a weekend at my friend''s cabin in West Virginia. We grilled burgers, read gossip magazines, drank lots and lots of champagne and other beverages, went shopping, looked at art, and went to a really swanky dinner. And it was AWESOME. makes me want to get married every year!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

If she needs to get out, that''s her problem. I was never into the tramp look, but I did go out clubbing and it was fun...when I was single and looking for male attention. Now that I am settled, it holds little appeal, even less right before my wedding. I say just start planning what you want and don''t get much input. After all, you are the bride.