Is this a tradition in your family?

[Cinders]

I very much wish it was a tradition in my family. My grandmother's death was recent but I only have until tomorrow to finish going through her jewelry because everything will be going to auction and everything is being inventoried on Wednesday. Auctioning everything is typically done in my family so everything is completely fair to everyone value-wise. It avoids conflict over money. (Every family member can choose a couple things as mementos before things are sold, but not something worth much.)

But, I am sentimental & I like jewelry. I'd love to have something that had been passed down through the generations. None of my relatives are particularly sentimental and none care about jewelry. I had to insist that we not sell my grandmother's engagement ring.

My grandmother came from nothing. Lived through the Great Depression & the Dirty Thirties on a farm in the middle of nowhere. She worked extremely hard to get to a life she probably couldn't have even dreamed of when she was young.

Though she had a lot of jewelry, it was not really her thing so most of it was costume but there are still things I wish were meant to stay in the family.

I don't know why I'm rambling on in this thread so I'm sorry for the possibly incoherent thoughts. I guess it's just hard for me to know that this will be the last time I get to see or handle her things. I very much associate people with their things/homes/objects-that-reflect-their-personality and I almost feel that when these are gone, the reality of my grandmother's absence will hit me & it's a reality I don't want to face.

I guess my advice is to gift or pass things down as intentionally as possible because even if you are not sentimental, someone who loves you might be & that gift might be fiercely treasured.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I very much wish it was a tradition in my family. My grandmother's death was recent but I only have until tomorrow to finish going through her jewelry because everything will be going to auction and everything is being inventoried on Wednesday. Auctioning everything is typically done in my family so everything is completely fair to everyone value-wise. It avoids conflict over money. (Every family member can choose a couple things as mementos before things are sold, but not something worth much.)

But, I am sentimental & I like jewelry. I'd love to have something that had been passed down through the generations. None of my relatives are particularly sentimental and none care about jewelry. I had to insist that we not sell my grandmother's engagement ring.

My grandmother came from nothing. Lived through the Great Depression & the Dirty Thirties on a farm in the middle of nowhere. She worked extremely hard to get to a life she probably couldn't have even dreamed of when she was young.

Though she had a lot of jewelry, it was not really her thing so most of it was costume but there are still things I wish were meant to stay in the family.

I don't know why I'm rambling on in this thread so I'm sorry for the possibly incoherent thoughts. I guess it's just hard for me to know that this will be the last time I get to see or handle her things. I very much associate people with their things/homes/objects-that-reflect-their-personality and I almost feel that when these are gone, the reality of my grandmother's absence will hit me & it's a reality I don't want to face.

I guess my advice is to gift or pass things down as intentionally as possible because even if you are not sentimental, someone who loves you might be & that gift might be fiercely treasured.

Im very sorry to hear of the resent passing of your grandma
Im proud of you for insisting her ER was not sold
It can often be hard and messy and down right ugly when it comes to who gets what from an estate in some families
I see the advantage of what your family are doing .... but i don't like it
Its also hard when the other people are not sentimental over things - i think its just how we do or don't come out of the womb
and yes this is exactly the right place for you to tell us about it

 

[Obscura]

I very much wish it was a tradition in my family. My grandmother's death was recent but I only have until tomorrow to finish going through her jewelry because everything will be going to auction and everything is being inventoried on Wednesday. Auctioning everything is typically done in my family so everything is completely fair to everyone value-wise. It avoids conflict over money. (Every family member can choose a couple things as mementos before things are sold, but not something worth much.)

But, I am sentimental & I like jewelry. I'd love to have something that had been passed down through the generations. None of my relatives are particularly sentimental and none care about jewelry. I had to insist that we not sell my grandmother's engagement ring.

My grandmother came from nothing. Lived through the Great Depression & the Dirty Thirties on a farm in the middle of nowhere. She worked extremely hard to get to a life she probably couldn't have even dreamed of when she was young.

Though she had a lot of jewelry, it was not really her thing so most of it was costume but there are still things I wish were meant to stay in the family.

I don't know why I'm rambling on in this thread so I'm sorry for the possibly incoherent thoughts. I guess it's just hard for me to know that this will be the last time I get to see or handle her things. I very much associate people with their things/homes/objects-that-reflect-their-personality and I almost feel that when these are gone, the reality of my grandmother's absence will hit me & it's a reality I don't want to face.

I guess my advice is to gift or pass things down as intentionally as possible because even if you are not sentimental, someone who loves you might be & that gift might be fiercely treasured.

Sorry to hear! That must be really tough. But treasure what you choose to keep as a momento, at least there is something to keep. Some of my friends don't have anything.

And it can be the first piece in your own tradition, set the standard! You'll be able to make it as best you can! Just remember: memories are much better than things in the long run. Wishing you the best. <3

 

[Cinders]

Im very sorry to hear of the resent passing of your grandma
Im proud of you for insisting her ER was not sold
It can often be hard and messy and down right ugly when it comes to who gets what from an estate in some families
I see the advantage of what your family are doing .... but i don't like it
Its also hard when the other people are not sentimental over things - i think its just how we do or don't come out of the womb
and yes this is exactly the right place for you to tell us about it

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds . I can't describe how much I needed that Pooh & friends group hug. I was working out of state on a big project when my grandmother's health started failing. I did have a chance to see her briefly during a quick trip back to say goodbye & I'll always be grateful I had that opportunity.

But, because I was so far away, and under so much pressure with work, nothing seemed real. I have not been able to process the situation.

 

[Cinders]

Sorry to hear! That must be really tough. But treasure what you choose to keep as a momento, at least there is something to keep. Some of my friends don't have anything.

And it can be the first piece in your own tradition, set the standard! You'll be able to make it as best you can! Just remember: memories are much better than things in the long run. Wishing you the best. <3

Thank you. Yes, I'm fortunate to be able to hold on to a few things. The memories are always more important than things but things are a catalyst for memories for me. I don't mean things of monetary value, but sentimental value. Things that are connected to a certain time or place or activity with the loved one, or just things that are a perfect reflection of who they are, or were. I struggle with loss at the best of times, so that doesn't help.

I'm so sorry for hijacking this thread. This thread has opened my eyes to my deep denial about my grief.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds . I can't describe how much I needed that Pooh & friends group hug. I was working out of state on a big project when my grandmother's health started failing. I did have a chance to see her briefly during a quick trip back to say goodbye & I'll always be grateful I had that opportunity.

But, because I was so far away, and under so much pressure with work, nothing seemed real. I have not been able to process the situation.

Its not fare when work gets in the way with important family stuff like this
but you did get to see her and that's the main thing

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thank you. Yes, I'm fortunate to be able to hold on to a few things. The memories are always more important than things but things are a catalyst for memories for me. I don't mean things of monetary value, but sentimental value. Things that are connected to a certain time or place or activity with the loved one, or just things that are a perfect reflection of who they are, or were. I struggle with loss at the best of times, so that doesn't help.

I'm so sorry for hijacking this thread. This thread has opened my eyes to my deep denial about my grief.

If you want to start a thread about your grandma in hangout to shear some memories with us we can give you all the group hugs you need

 

[Schlumbergay]

Men wear jewelry too. My brother-in-law took a gem from his mother's ring and made a fabulous tie tack. It's gorgeous.

Thank you, I always thought it was sad when I’d read posts that such and such piece was going to the eldest girl in a family, always the eldest. I personally felt a bit sorry for the middle or younger girls. Regarding male children in general I would at least consider including them. It can’t be taken with one after all, and they could at least turn the item into cash if they didn’t want to use the stones for themselves is my view.