DivaDiamond007
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2007
- Messages
- 1,828
Oh my.Date: 3/20/2009 10:36:02 AM
Author: Thomperchik
This is a very sensitive issue for me. I don''t think it is ever a good idea to ask your significant other to loose weight/get toned unless they brign it up!
For men it might be different, but it is never, ever a good idea to ask a woman to lose weight!
I don''t want to thread-jack, but I received this email from my ex last week, and this is one of the reasons why I don''t think it''s a good idea to ever bring weight up, unless your SO does it first...
-----Original Message-----
From: Jerk
Sent: Friday, March 13, 2009 7:31 AM
To: Thomperchik
Subject: hey
So, I feel like I should get this off my chest. I didn''t want to break up because I didn''t love you. You''re amazing, I loved ya. I had talked with my friend Justin, and he was telling me about how his wife had really let herself go after they got married. Quit wanting to work, sat around the house, gained a bunch of weight, and he was just miserable. I kept telling myself that wouldn''t be us, but I guess I really psyched myself out. I loved you too much to tell you I noticed you had gained weight when i saw you (I know I had too), so rather than talk about that fear I just kept it inside. Everytime I talked to Justin, he sounded so miserable. I guess I got scared about that, and I didn''t know how to talk to you about it. It''s really such a shallow topic, you were about to be my wife, the last thing I wanted to say is baby please don''t get fat or lose your motivation.
Anyways, I am sorry for texting you last night, I just really miss you sometimes. I hope you are doin alright, if you ever have time to write and let me know what''s goin on with you I would love to hear
While I''m shocked that some guy had the balls to even write this, at least he was honest and saved you from staying with him!
I don''t think it''s okay to come right out and say "hey, you''re getting too fat!" but I do think that there are certain expectations of one''s SO. Both me and my DH haved gained a bit over the years, but if I went from where I am now to a huge fat person he would not be happy, and vice versa for me. Geez, we sound so shallow but it''s the truth. I also think it''s different for men and women though. It''s socially okay for a man to be overweight but not a woman
I think maybe a better approach would be to make it a joint effort. After I had a baby DH and I both decided that we needed to make better lifestyle choices so our son grows up in a healthy environment. We''re both eating better and taking the time to exercise regularly.