- Joined
- Nov 3, 2009
- Messages
- 7,589
My son was dating this girl for almost 2 years. When she turned 18, I gave her a small diamond pendant - a girl should receive a nice gem at 18. She put it in a box. Then I brought her these opals. The thanked me and put them in a box. Then I gave her diamond earrings for her 19-th birthday. She thanked me and never wore them.
My son gave her a Photoshop. She still uses it, I believe. Then he gave her a topaz ring which she put in a box (I believe she was quite happy to receive a gift from him, though. She is just young and shy and is not used to wearing jewelry. Her mother doesn't). Then he gave her small blings - he is a student - and she put them in a box.
My son broke up with her. I do not think it is was the right decision, and he misses, her, too, but what is done is done. He is 20 - you don't think far ahead when you are this age.
When he told me he dumped her, I asked him, "I hope, you did not ask her to return the jewelry back?"
And he said, no, of course not. And I said, thanks God.
And then he asked me, "but what is wrong in asking a girl to give back the jewelry?"
And that is where I stumbled. All I could think of was, "Well...it is not what a gentleman would do".
I still can not think of a good rationale for WHY A MAN SHOULD NOT ASK A WOMAN TO RETURN THE JEWELRY AFTER HE OR SHE BREAKS THE RELATIOHSIP.
When my friend was getting a divorce after a year of marriage, her husband (who loved her and showered her with gifts) asked for his jewelry, and she refused to give it back to him explaining that it was "her amortization cost". At least, she provided some plausible explanation...
So...what do you think? I just have this sense that it is morally wrong to ask her to give back the jewelry. Even if she doesn't wear it and keeps it in a box. Am I too old-fashioned? Read too many knight stories in my childhood?
My son gave her a Photoshop. She still uses it, I believe. Then he gave her a topaz ring which she put in a box (I believe she was quite happy to receive a gift from him, though. She is just young and shy and is not used to wearing jewelry. Her mother doesn't). Then he gave her small blings - he is a student - and she put them in a box.
My son broke up with her. I do not think it is was the right decision, and he misses, her, too, but what is done is done. He is 20 - you don't think far ahead when you are this age.
When he told me he dumped her, I asked him, "I hope, you did not ask her to return the jewelry back?"
And he said, no, of course not. And I said, thanks God.
And then he asked me, "but what is wrong in asking a girl to give back the jewelry?"
And that is where I stumbled. All I could think of was, "Well...it is not what a gentleman would do".
I still can not think of a good rationale for WHY A MAN SHOULD NOT ASK A WOMAN TO RETURN THE JEWELRY AFTER HE OR SHE BREAKS THE RELATIOHSIP.
When my friend was getting a divorce after a year of marriage, her husband (who loved her and showered her with gifts) asked for his jewelry, and she refused to give it back to him explaining that it was "her amortization cost". At least, she provided some plausible explanation...
So...what do you think? I just have this sense that it is morally wrong to ask her to give back the jewelry. Even if she doesn't wear it and keeps it in a box. Am I too old-fashioned? Read too many knight stories in my childhood?