Wedding Is anyone else''s stomach in knots?

[zoebartlett]

I just sent checks to the DJ, our invitation person, the photographer, and the officiant, and I paid off their balances in full. Yikes! Anyone else have heart palpitations while sending vendors their money?

 

[Independent Gal]

I did! But then if felt good, like "well, that''s settled then!"

 

[noelwr]

I wish I was already that far. still have to find the venue, set a date.... do everything, pretty much. not easy as we are having the wedding in another country. so I am little jealous of your palpitations.

what I have noticed is that ever since I''ve been engaged I''m much more emotional and prone to crying (luckily this is when I''m on my own and either watching people in love on tv or thinking about my own wedding). the other day I was listening to possible wedding songs for the ceremony and just picturing myself walking down the aisle (even without venue booked) and everyone who means something to me looking at me made me tear up. and today my mom bought my wedding dress and when I started thinking about it this evening I was in tears thinking of how great my mom was to not force her tastes on me (she can be quite opinionated) and that she said it didn''t matter what it costs, as long as I like it.

did anyone else experience this emotional roller coaster? and if you feel I am pulling the attention away from the purpose of the thread, please just ignore this post as I don''t mean to barge in and override this topic.

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 4/19/2008 5:24:12 PM
Author:ZoeBartlett
I just sent checks to the DJ, our invitation person, the photographer, and the officiant, and I paid off their balances in full. Yikes! Anyone else have heart palpitations while sending vendors their money?

Think of it this way...

"Isn''t it great that I am able to write checks that won''t bounce?"

 

[oobiecoo]

OMG yes! The worst though was when we went to pay the reception site and she says "I''m sorry we no longer accept credit cards"....

We were paying part check/ part credit card and had to come up with a different method. I nearly had a heart attack.

 

[bee*]

I''ve been pretty happy to give the money over as I adore all the vendors that I''ve booked and just wanted to make sure that date was mine! We paid the deposit on our band last night and that was the last big thing we had to pay for a while. Have to build up my bank account again!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/19/2008 5:55:47 PM
Author: noelwr
I wish I was already that far. still have to find the venue, set a date.... do everything, pretty much. not easy as we are having the wedding in another country. so I am little jealous of your palpitations.

what I have noticed is that ever since I''ve been engaged I''m much more emotional and prone to crying (luckily this is when I''m on my own and either watching people in love on tv or thinking about my own wedding). the other day I was listening to possible wedding songs for the ceremony and just picturing myself walking down the aisle (even without venue booked) and everyone who means something to me looking at me made me tear up. and today my mom bought my wedding dress and when I started thinking about it this evening I was in tears thinking of how great my mom was to not force her tastes on me (she can be quite opinionated) and that she said it didn''t matter what it costs, as long as I like it.

did anyone else experience this emotional roller coaster? and if you feel I am pulling the attention away from the purpose of the thread, please just ignore this post as I don''t mean to barge in and override this topic.

You are definitely not the only one who''s been on an emotional roller coaster!

No need to apologize -- everyone''s welcome to give her/his experiences.

 

[zoebartlett]

Yeah, it does feel good to pay these vendors and know that other than a tip, I don''t have to give them more money.

I know the subject of tips has been brought up before but I hadn''t really thought about what I wanted to do. I was thinking of giving the DJ, the photographer, and maybe the officiant (if it''s appropriate) a $100 tip. But if a tip is based on the level of service you get, wouldn''t you tip the photographer after you''ve seen their work from your wedding? I could never figure that one out. Also, all of these vendors are charging way different fees. Is a flat $100 tip okay to do or should it be a percentage of what they charge?

One more question: is it ever okay not to tip, even if the service was good?

I was talking to a coworker about her wedding years ago and she said that her father (who was paying for everything) did not tip any of the vendors. I guess he thought that if they''re providing a service, that means they''re doing a job and therefore should not be tipped. My coworker was horrified when she returned from her honeymoon and heard about that, so she and her new husband sent a nice letter to the vendors and included a tip.

 

[bee*]

I''m in Ireland and we do not tip vendors but I know that we have a different system to you guys. That would be expensive having to tip all the vendors though!

 

[havernell]

Date: 4/20/2008 6:57:55 AM
Author: ZoeBartlett

I know the subject of tips has been brought up before but I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to do. I was thinking of giving the DJ, the photographer, and maybe the officiant (if it's appropriate) a $100 tip. But if a tip is based on the level of service you get, wouldn't you tip the photographer after you've seen their work from your wedding? I could never figure that one out. Also, all of these vendors are charging way different fees. Is a flat $100 tip okay to do or should it be a percentage of what they charge?

I don't know too much about tipping at weddings, but I remember reading somewhere that you only tip people who are employees of the vendor you have hired. So for example, if the DJ at your wedding is the owner of the DJ company you booked, you don't tip him/her, but if the DJ at your wedding is just one employee of a large DJ company you do tip them. The logic is that if the DJ is the owner, all of the profits to go him (which is a lot of money so no additional tip is needed), whereas if the DJ is just an employee, then a lot of the money you paid goes to the larger company and not that much to your specific DJ personally, so an additional tip is appreciated. Same would hold for the photographer. Does that make any sense?

ETA: Whoops, I just realized that that totally doesn't answer your questions regarding tipping the photographer before seeing the prints and about a flat rate or percentage of the total... Maybe we should start a separate thread on this to get lots of opinions on the tipping topic!

 

[goldenstar]

We''ve been sending out a lot of checks too (deposits)! Its a relief but also really freaky. We haven''t ever spent money like this so its an anxious time.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Havernell! It does make sense. The photographer and the DJ both own their own businesses, so I suppose I don't need to tip them. Huh. I'll have to give that some more thought.

 

[Gypsy]

YES.I''m hemorraging money over here and it''s making me cranky, stressed and SO VERY VERY crazy. I can''t help but second guess EVERY dime-- I''m even reconsidering my flower selections. This thing has gotten completely out of control. I just don''t want to hear the word WEDDING right now. It''s four letter word for me. And that''s AFTER a couple of great days off. I was starting to hyperventilate at the thought of the wedding mid-week... so this IS an improvement.... although just talking about it now has made my chest feel tight.

Regarding tipping... I''m not tipping anyone who owns their own business in whole. My photographer, DOC, DJ, Baker, and florist are NOT getting tips... neither is my 500 dollar (YIKES) make up and hair person. And anything else that requires a tip has been built into the pricing. I WILL give my uncles''s wife like 400 bucks in case someone goes above and beyond the day of but that''s it. Otherwise, they are doing their jobs... and they had their opportunity to qoute me.