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Is anyone else portray themselves differently IRL?

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
I share more about my LIW-itis here than in real life. To the point were some of our mutual friends seem to think I'm not interested in getting married (not my SO of course!). This is because I'm simply not interested in the big, white fancy wedding. I just could not possibly be the center of attention in such a big group of people for that period of time.

I once told my SO that all I wanted when we got married was jewelery, paperwork, and a "We're Married" session of engagement photo-like shots that would be taken sometime soon after we got paperwork and jewelry. I care more about being married, why is that so crazy?

It hit me though when I had a conversation this weekend that involved me saying "He'd better not make me wait four more years!". It was the first time that that group of friends heard me say anything like this, and some of them were just plain flabbergasted. It sort of hurts me... I feel like they don't think of me as normal because I'm not a ~*~*Girly Girl!!*~*~

Is anyone else like me? I'm so much more share-y here because it's hard to be shy over the internet , I can get unbiased opinions without going beat red, and no one thinks I'm crazy because we're all in the same boat and mostly anonymous.
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
Um.... Best grammar ever in the title by the way. I definitely thought I wrote "Does" not "Is"

isn't it lovely that I'm anonymous? :roll:
 

MayFlowers

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
944
I think I definitely share more here than IRL. Part of it is because I don't want to come off as some lady who is crazy about getting engaged hahaha :lol: . The other reason is because like you said, I can get blunt, unbiased opinions here and I like that. I think one of the main reasons I share more here is because I share much more with people when I am talking with them in person. I'm not much of a phone talker or texter, at least not about serious issues or things I need advice on. So, if I'm not going to see a friend soon, it's just easier for me to post here and ask for opinions.
 

captainmcgee

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
329
I agree. I share so much more here. Barely any one knows how I feel and I don't even think any one I know would experience LIW-itis. I had one friend who I shared all this with as we were in the same boat but she got engaged and now it obviously doesn't worry her anymore so it has been difficult. So by sharing on PS I stay (semi) sane haha!
 

kateydid05

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 10, 2010
Messages
248
Yup! Me! :wavey:

I'm the exact same way. Only one of my friends knows that I'm getting a little anxious now. At some point through my 7 year relationship things shifted and I realized I wanted to get married but never wanted the huge shindig. Most of my other friends are bugging me about what's taking him so long to propose and I just shrug it off rather than go into LIW-itis all over them, haha. I don't even go nuts on here but PS is safer than IRL! :bigsmile:
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
682
Before looking at rings I didn't have any LIW-itis. Most likely because I was not "waiting" per se. Since he's bought the ring I actually feel like I'm waiting and it's shown even IRL. Two weeks after we bought the ring my BF's little sister got engaged. :angryfire: I showed a lot more LIW-itis than I would have ordinarily at that point to people who knew we had already bought a ring. My BF's now had the ring for two months. It's getting harder not to mention to people that he bought one. There used to be only that small handful of people who knew what was going on. I'm still trying to maintain the surprise for most of my friends and family (and also avoid any grilling as to why he hasn't popped the question yet), but have also spilt the beans to a few people at my work and a couple more friends. I definitely share more impatience on here than I do with most people IRL though! :cheeky:
 

RebeccaMUA

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
205
I think that had I joined here sooner, I would have TOTALLY vented lots of frustration on here, lol. Just a few of my close friends and sister and mom know how I've felt even if I did downplay it a bit even then. I haven't really had the urgency to get married until a little less than 2 years ago, and since then i've not wanted to pressure the BF because I always said I would never want to make him feel like he HAS to propose when I want him to, rather than when HE wants to. But now that we are in the final stages of my custom engagement ring, I feel as I am about to burst sometimes. I want the darn thing to be ready already! Our anniversary is Aug. 19th and I told him that I wanted to be engaged by that date since the ring would be ready by then. We didn't anticipate the hold up on finding "the sapphire" since we went through a friend of his cousin who happens to have wholesale connection being a jeweler. But now that I go for the final gold setting approval on Tuesday with the BF, It's hard for me to not want the ring right away.

The one thing that I haven't shared with ANYONE is that i'm scared that even though I told the BF I wanted to be engaged by our anniversary so that we don't go one more "year" not being engaged, I'm freaked that he (knowing how I can be a little control freak about certain situations) will purposely choose a day AFTER the 19th of August to do it just to throw me off. EVERYONE expects us to be engaged by the 19th since most of our close family and friends know that the ring is almost done and I know it sounds horrible, but I will be so crushed if I get bombarded with "lets see the ring!" with nothing to show them :( I KNOW that sounds horrible, but I can't help it! I truly feel that way.

In any case, I didn't expect that to be so long a post! Sorry to bombard everyone but I guess that's what this LIW forum is for ;-)
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
Don't worry Rebbecca, any more information about your custom cut sapphire is Ok by me. (I'm waiting on a sapphire too, but I'm not to the point you are!) I'll be waiting around the 19th for your post, with hopefully a million pictures. In fact, if you have any pictures of the stone, or any CADs of the ring, start a new topic here and post away! :Up_to_something:

I'm going a little extra crazy since our 4 year anniversary just passed...
 

RebeccaMUA

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
205
Thanks Maebelle! I guess I will start another post since it's fun to see the evolution of the ring. If you have any questions regarding a sapphire, ask me and I can give you as much help as I can :)

And for the record, I wanted a sapphire loooooonnnngggg before Kate got her's, lol. I can't believe people I KNOW IRL would think that I'm so trendy as to want a sapphire just because she got Di's ring!
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
I know! I practically groaned when Kate got hers.... At least pretty much everyone knows that's what I've wanted forever!
 

Phdecorate

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 7, 2011
Messages
352
Just reading through some old topics/posts, and I am bumping this one up.

I act COMPLETELY different IRL. The only one who knows I am dying to get married is my mom. Even with my friends I have downplayed, plus all the people we just know ( we are in similar work fields) that ask all the time. I just say, oh no real rush, we'll see, but in the meantime I'm ready!!!!!! I don't want to tell people and then be embarrassed or feel like they feel sorry for me because nothing has happened yet.

Plus, I don't think I have mentioned this before....SO asked my dad (I told him he would have to out of respect, my dad is old school, even if it will be my second wedding) BACK IN OCTOBER. So who wouldn't be on the edge of the seat waiting....but still trying to be cool!!? :naughty: :naughty:

Thanks for listening to me ladies!! Happy Sunday!
 

LoveLikeCrazy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
730
MayFlowers|1310422325|2966783 said:
I think I definitely share more here than IRL. Part of it is because I don't want to come off as some lady who is crazy about getting engaged hahaha :lol: . The other reason is because like you said, I can get blunt, unbiased opinions here and I like that. I think one of the main reasons I share more here is because I share much more with people when I am talking with them in person. I'm not much of a phone talker or texter, at least not about serious issues or things I need advice on. So, if I'm not going to see a friend soon, it's just easier for me to post here and ask for opinions.
DITTO!! People are pressuring him, wondering where's the ring all the time...but we haven't been together that long. So to them i look cool calm and collected and here i can gush and kinda do the "freak out" haha. i know its not going to be at least a year though! :mrgreen:
 

pandabee

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
2,883
I don't know quite how to categorize myself...on one hand I am in the right mindset to be married already (especially with it happening all around me, and friends having babies and etc) but I also know that the timeline in my head isn't quite matched up yet as I want us to be established with a job for at least around a year before we start looking/saving for rings (okay well tbh he probably will need to start saving before we start seriously looking heheh). So I do have LIW-itis but I know I can't rush it. Does that make sense to anyone? I want to think I portray myself about the same here and IRL...I have plenty of friends that I can vent to and I have voiced my opinion on it to DBF. But I do admit that I talk about it more frequently here because it is a safe and anonymous place to vent and how could you not with all the pretty pieces here??? :)) And also because I don't want to seem like a crazy lady obsessed with getting engaged hehe. We all know it's more than just the rock, but we gather here because we love jewelry and so it is an important decision!!
 

madelise

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
5,294
Nope, I'm just as crazy in love and bling obsessed in real life (and on social networks). :oops: haha, sorry world!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
I'd think that I'm more LIW here than IRL. I have kept things pretty quiet for now just because I know we have a bit of a wait. There are three people that know we've bought a stone and are having it set besides us. My older sister (because she was asking me about shopping for her!...she's happy for us btw!), my best college friend who is also a PSer (though not an active poster), and my best high school friend who is already married and just had a son (my Godson!). Other than that, nobody knows. We kind of want it to be a surprise. Though the other day I asked Andrew if he was going to tell anyone and he said probably his Mom and his brother when it gets closer. I ADORE his Mom so I'm happy she'll know. And his brother told him the day he got the ring and told him his plans so he figures he'll do the same. He didn't mention telling his sister though...maybe?

I'm not to the point of being crazy like I need it now by any means. I am antsy just because the ring is in the works and I can't wait for it to be complete, here, and ready. I also know I've always wanted a Christmas time proposal and I know he'll probably try to make that happen so I've got some months to wait KNOWING it'll be in our house somewhere.

Hopefully I won't go nutso!
 

Magpie09

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Messages
227
I'm more candid here and find it easier to vent here as most posters here are in similar situations or have dealt with the same issues. Not much of a LIW IRL as most of my friends are married with kids and are no longer in the same place in their relationships. They seem to forget how frustrating and exciting the wait can be. I am as obssessed with jewellery IRL as I am here :bigsmile: but I downplay it as most people don't care about their ring stats or jewellery.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
Magpie09|1334573540|3172198 said:
I'm more candid here and find it easier to vent here as most posters here are in similar situations or have dealt with the same issues. Not much of a LIW IRL as most of my friends are married with kids and are no longer in the same place in their relationships. They seem to forget how frustrating and exciting the wait can be. I am as obssessed with jewellery IRL as I am here :bigsmile: but I downplay it as most people don't care about their ring stats or jewellery.
I find this to be very true. And/or I have some friends who aren't even there yet and don't understand either. Or I have ones that ARE there but don't understand the hype behind the ring and everything. They all just want to sit back and wait for this uber magical proposal with the perfect ring. Sorry, a'int likely to happen without some intervention on my part...
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
LOL, I'm so glad you dug up this post that portrays a horrible grammar mistake I made last summer :lol:

To your point, audball, about friends waiting around for the perfect ring: Someone I know who got engaged 3 years ago actually went to purchase the ring with her now husband, and then pretended that she knew nothing about it and the proposal/ring was a complete surprise. She wanted to tell the story of being surprised and swept away, but also to choose her ring . CONFUSING! :loopy:

Of course now that we have a stone I'm also living a double life. No one in real life knows!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
maebelle|1334584781|3172277 said:
LOL, I'm so glad you dug up this post that portrays a horrible grammar mistake I made last summer :lol:

To your point, audball, about friends waiting around for the perfect ring: Someone I know who got engaged 3 years ago actually went to purchase the ring with her now husband, and then pretended that she knew nothing about it and the proposal/ring was a complete surprise. She wanted to tell the story of being surprised and swept away, but also to choose her ring . CONFUSING! :loopy:

Of course now that we have a stone I'm also living a double life. No one in real life knows!
That's an awesome story maebelle!

I think most PSers live a double life...you're not alone :naughty:
 

LoveLikeCrazy

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 26, 2012
Messages
730
Haha that's a funny story maebelle!

I think this generation of future brides are different. There are too many choices and we know a guy can barely pick out a matching pair of socks, nevermind a ring you wear forever haha. I think they also really want to make us happy.

In my case, its known around our social circles and within my family. Hell i have caugt him sending pics of it on my finger to show people what i want. lol. But all of our friends have chosen/designed their own ring so it's not out of the norm. I will be completely surprised for the proposal which could be anywhere after one year from now. It makes me happy to know when he pulls out that ring, it's going to be the one I've always dreamed of.

The other side of the coin is this - I think my LIW is more fierce! His friends constantly ask him if he's bought the ring yet and other little comments. Part of me knows there's no rush. We have such a great relationship and I'm enjoying the ride. The other part shouts, we both know it's gonna happen let's just do it haha.

That is why I'm happy to have found you ladies. Because, yes, I can let all my crazy out here and put on a calm collected front to the world :mrgreen:
 

Phdecorate

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 7, 2011
Messages
352
maebelle|1334584781|3172277 said:
LOL, I'm so glad you dug up this post that portrays a horrible grammar mistake I made last summer :lol:

To your point, audball, about friends waiting around for the perfect ring: Someone I know who got engaged 3 years ago actually went to purchase the ring with her now husband, and then pretended that she knew nothing about it and the proposal/ring was a complete surprise. She wanted to tell the story of being surprised and swept away, but also to choose her ring . CONFUSING! :loopy:

Of course now that we have a stone I'm also living a double life. No one in real life knows!
Sorry, maebelle, just thought it was a good one. :D I know I responded before, but in reading all these response, I think for me, it is also because I have been married once and I think I am a bit older than some of you. Most of my friends have several kids, and a lot of them are even what I used to think of as "old" because they are quite a bit older than me. So it is nice to find a group that is excited about being at the same point as where SO and I are, regardless of age, since most of the people I know personally would not really relate (unless they dug up a memory)! I think as you get older, it is common ground and circumstance that helps form a bond, know what I mean? =) =)
 

Mico

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 6, 2012
Messages
1,245
I think I may be more open IRL than on the internet. I tend to wear my heart of my sleeve for those that know me - and am completely closed off to those who don't. In my profession it's scarey to have anyone find something personal about you that can be used against you, and I feel like the risk is always there, even if this is a private forum with monikers. Sad really.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
I love having PS as an outlet. I'd feel pretty vulnerable putting it out there for my friends who aren't fellow bling addicts. My super close friends (3 of them) know what we're up to but I wouldn't want to share it with the rest of them. I feel like they'd judge me for being too involved in the process and accuse me of pressuring him or something which isn't the case. My circle doesn't tend to be involved in the process so I could see my involvement being misconstrued.
 

star sparkle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2008
Messages
1,706
audball|1334611430|3172709 said:
I love having PS as an outlet. I'd feel pretty vulnerable putting it out there for my friends who aren't fellow bling addicts. My super close friends (3 of them) know what we're up to but I wouldn't want to share it with the rest of them. I feel like they'd judge me for being too involved in the process and accuse me of pressuring him or something which isn't the case. My circle doesn't tend to be involved in the process so I could see my involvement being misconstrued.
Ditto this. I also feel like I would be judged if my friends IRL or my family knew that we've had a ring for a few months already but still no engagement. As it is, I constantly get asked when we're going to get engaged and I'm over the questions! Sometimes I feel like everyone else is getting more worked up about it than even I am, and I KNOW it's happening soon and that a ring already exists!

I have three IRL friends who know that we have a ring, and two of them are PSers. :twirl:
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
star sparkle|1334701699|3173674 said:
audball|1334611430|3172709 said:
I love having PS as an outlet. I'd feel pretty vulnerable putting it out there for my friends who aren't fellow bling addicts. My super close friends (3 of them) know what we're up to but I wouldn't want to share it with the rest of them. I feel like they'd judge me for being too involved in the process and accuse me of pressuring him or something which isn't the case. My circle doesn't tend to be involved in the process so I could see my involvement being misconstrued.
Ditto this. I also feel like I would be judged if my friends IRL or my family knew that we've had a ring for a few months already but still no engagement. As it is, I constantly get asked when we're going to get engaged and I'm over the questions! Sometimes I feel like everyone else is getting more worked up about it than even I am, and I KNOW it's happening soon and that a ring already exists!

I have three IRL friends who know that we have a ring, and two of them are PSers. :twirl:
I'm concerned this will start happening soon too. We're just not telling people about the ring because I think a lot of people will find it odd that we bought before we were ready to use it. But the deal was so good! Most wouldn't understand AT ALL about old cuts or their uniqueness, etc. Everyone I know has a maul ring in real life.
 

star sparkle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 2, 2008
Messages
1,706
audball|1334765238|3174265 said:
star sparkle|1334701699|3173674 said:
I'm concerned this will start happening soon too. We're just not telling people about the ring because I think a lot of people will find it odd that we bought before we were ready to use it. But the deal was so good! Most wouldn't understand AT ALL about old cuts or their uniqueness, etc. Everyone I know has a maul ring in real life.
EXACTLY. They wouldn't understand that old cuts are all different and that vintage/antique rings are often one-of-a-kind, so if you find a stone or ring from that era that you love, you need to get it NOW. Everyone I know IRL has cookie-cutter rings/stones that can purchased en masse from any store around.
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
star sparkle|1334766245|3174289 said:
audball|1334765238|3174265 said:
star sparkle|1334701699|3173674 said:
I'm concerned this will start happening soon too. We're just not telling people about the ring because I think a lot of people will find it odd that we bought before we were ready to use it. But the deal was so good! Most wouldn't understand AT ALL about old cuts or their uniqueness, etc. Everyone I know has a maul ring in real life.
EXACTLY. They wouldn't understand that old cuts are all different and that vintage/antique rings are often one-of-a-kind, so if you find a stone or ring from that era that you love, you need to get it NOW. Everyone I know IRL has cookie-cutter rings/stones that can purchased en masse from any store around.
Hah. And this made me feel like an awful person. I almost don't want to tell anyone about OECs. I love that I'll be the only one I know in real life with one....I kind of love knowing I have something truly unique in my circle.
 

madelise

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2011
Messages
5,294
audball|1334772159|3174364 said:
star sparkle|1334766245|3174289 said:
audball|1334765238|3174265 said:
star sparkle|1334701699|3173674 said:
I'm concerned this will start happening soon too. We're just not telling people about the ring because I think a lot of people will find it odd that we bought before we were ready to use it. But the deal was so good! Most wouldn't understand AT ALL about old cuts or their uniqueness, etc. Everyone I know has a maul ring in real life.
EXACTLY. They wouldn't understand that old cuts are all different and that vintage/antique rings are often one-of-a-kind, so if you find a stone or ring from that era that you love, you need to get it NOW. Everyone I know IRL has cookie-cutter rings/stones that can purchased en masse from any store around.
Hah. And this made me feel like an awful person. I almost don't want to tell anyone about OECs. I love that I'll be the only one I know in real life with one....I kind of love knowing I have something truly unique in my circle.
The way I see it is, you found PS, you did the research and you ended up with something gorgeous. You don't need to be "sharing" that info so that everyone around you benefits. They are lazy if they don't do their own research. Most people just know what the 4C's are and don't even know the importance behind cut, or the safety behind clarity. You don't owe them your research, so don't feel bad. If they really wanted something beautiful, they would already know what old cuts are. Google is out there. I mean, if they asked, I wouldn't NOT mention its an OEC, but I'll just leave it at that. I wouldn't explain how rare it is, or how it "glows" in comparison to a modern cut. It's their prerogative to do their homework!
 

audball

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
4,946
madelise|1334773152|3174373 said:
audball|1334772159|3174364 said:
star sparkle|1334766245|3174289 said:
audball|1334765238|3174265 said:
star sparkle|1334701699|3173674 said:
I'm concerned this will start happening soon too. We're just not telling people about the ring because I think a lot of people will find it odd that we bought before we were ready to use it. But the deal was so good! Most wouldn't understand AT ALL about old cuts or their uniqueness, etc. Everyone I know has a maul ring in real life.
EXACTLY. They wouldn't understand that old cuts are all different and that vintage/antique rings are often one-of-a-kind, so if you find a stone or ring from that era that you love, you need to get it NOW. Everyone I know IRL has cookie-cutter rings/stones that can purchased en masse from any store around.
Hah. And this made me feel like an awful person. I almost don't want to tell anyone about OECs. I love that I'll be the only one I know in real life with one....I kind of love knowing I have something truly unique in my circle.
The way I see it is, you found PS, you did the research and you ended up with something gorgeous. You don't need to be "sharing" that info so that everyone around you benefits. They are lazy if they don't do their own research. Most people just know what the 4C's are and don't even know the importance behind cut, or the safety behind clarity. You don't owe them your research, so don't feel bad. If they really wanted something beautiful, they would already know what old cuts are. Google is out there. I mean, if they asked, I wouldn't NOT mention its an OEC, but I'll just leave it at that. I wouldn't explain how rare it is, or how it "glows" in comparison to a modern cut. It's their prerogative to do their homework!
You are right madelise! People I care about I try to steer in the right direction, but I still don't really want to share the secret of the OEC...
 
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