Invitation wording help, please

[fatafelice]

I am getting a jumpstart on my wedding invites, and I could use some help with the wording.

Here's the deal:
-- FI and I are paying for more than 1/2 the wedding ourselves
-- My mom and step-father are contributing a little less than a 1/4
-- FMIL is giving us a wedding gift, equal to my parents' contribution, that we are electing to use for the wedding.
-- I want it to be more on the formal side, BUT I don't really want to get into parents' names, as mine were divorced and remarried and both FI's and my fathers have passed away - too confusing to sort out, I think.

So I have altered slightly the wording that the Knot recommends. Please let me know what you think. Any etiquette red flags?

--------------------------------------------------
Together with their families

Bride's whole name
&
Groom's whole name

request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
Saturday, the thirtieth of June
two thousand and seven
at six o'clock in the evening
Deerpark Restaurant on the Biltmore Estate
Asheville, North Carolina

Reception to follow
--------------------------------------------------


ETA: Obviously, the real deal will be proofread to make sure that words like "Restaurant" are spelled correctly!

 

[labbielove]

I am not an etiquette queen, but I think the wording is appropriate,
It could depend on your parents, but I personally see nothing wrong with this wording regardless of who is paying.

We are planning to use this ourselves, since my dad has passed away and I don''t want to see a "hole" where his name should be, and I don''t want to say "the late Mr......" it is too sad for me.

 

[jcrow]

sure, this is fine. i would make sure all parents invloved see and approve the invitation. i''ve heard several horror stories of the invitation going out without parent''s names and they receive them and FREAK that they weren''t included.

 

[JulieN]

The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of
Miss Fatafelice
to
Mr Fatafelice

blah blah blah

 

[fatafelice]

LabbieLove: I agree about putting my dad''s name on the invite, though it makes me sad, since I always assumed that he would be hosting and his name would be on there.

Jcrow: Good point, re: Checking with Parents! I did ask my mom already and she was fine with it, but I guess I better check with FMIL. I doubt she will have a problem, especially since her contribution is a gift that could have been used for something else, but just in case.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 10/17/2006 5:33:10 PM
Author: JulieN
The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of

Miss Fatafelice

to

Mr Fatafelice


blah blah blah

Julie, you don''t think we should mention the contribution of our parents? Or should we put it after our names?

 

[jcrow]

JulieN-

i think this is how we worded ours. we just skipped the family all together. mainly b/c my parents weren''t paying- my cousin was and his parents weren''t really contributing- or at least we didn''t think so at the time.

 

[fatafelice]

Hmmm...something to think about, as I do actually prefer that wording. I do think I would feel bad, though, since my parents are working hard to give us what they can.

I wish I knew where I stashed my sister''s invite, so I could see what she did!

 

[jcrow]

here''s what we used:

The honour of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
Bride''s full nameeeee
to Groom''s full nameeeee
on Saturday, the eighteenth of November
Two thousand and six
at xxxx o’clock in the afternoon
location information went here
City, Louisiana

 

[jcrow]

and the next page was the reception info:

Please join us
promptly following the ceremony
at the reception location
for an afternoon of celebration
xxx street name here
City, Louisiana

 

[Clarygrace]

Fatafelice:
The wording works wonderfully.

Should the reception read:

"The Deerpark Restaurant at the Biltmore Estate" ????

Just wondering?

 

[NewShiny]

I like your suggested wording, FF, but I would say "Together with our families", not "Together with their families"

 

[fatafelice]

Jcrow: Thanks for posting that - now I don''t have to go search it out!

I can''t afford to do a separate reception card, though, so it will just have to go on the bottom. Truly, I think I should have just hired YOU to design my invites!

Clarygrace: To be honest, I am not sure. I guess that I could ask my catering manager, but if I wait for her to email me back, it will probably be next week...

My reasoning for doing it that way is that the estate is huge and the restaraunt is not by the main house, but "on the grounds" - so to speak.

Newshiny: I thought about that, but it seems like most invites are done in third person.

 

[fatafelice]

Okay, I have another question for you ladies...

A friend of mine at work casually offered last spring to do the calligraphy for my envelopes. I have no idea what her caligraphy looks like, but based on what I know about her, I am sure she does a good job. I have been planning on taking her up on it because, hey, free is free.

Now, on the other hand, my stationer wants to know if I would like her to schedule me on her calendar to do the envelopes. Obviously, this would cost more, but it would have the advantage of matching the hand-lettered names on the invite. Remember, I have no idea what the style of my friend''s calligraphy is.

My first instinct is to still plan on my friend doing them, but I am worried that she forgot that she offered or that she has changed her mind, as it was a casual offer and has not been brought up since. I don''t want to be rude and ask, but I am concerned that I am going to get down to the wire, my friend won''t be able to do them, and then the calligrapher won''t have time.

So should I:
a)Plan to have the calligrapher do them, thereby avoiding any potential problems, but having to pay extra?
b)Ask my friend if she would still like to do them so that I know I can rely on her?
c)Do nothing and hope it works out for the best with my friend?

I am sure I am obsessing about this with undue cause, but there you have it.

 

[jaz464]

Date: 10/17/2006 6:18:22 PM
Author: NewShiny
I like your suggested wording, FF, but I would say 'Together with our families', not 'Together with their families'

I disagree with this. If you used "our" families, you would have to say "we request the honour" instead of "Suzy Smith and John Doe request the honour." It doesn't make sense to have 1/2 of the invite in the third person and half in the first person.

 

[aprilcait]

I would suggest that you speak with your friend/co-worker about it, but allow her an easy way out if it was just a casual offer.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

FF:

I like the inclusion of your families on the invite. DH and I added them in, even though we paid for about 75% of our wedding. This was our wording:

Because you have shared in their lives
With your friendship and love

BRIDE
and
GROOM

Together with their families invite you to
a celebration of love as they are united in marriage

DATE
TIME

LOCATION

Reception immediately following

Please excuse the typos/bad capitalization. I just wanted you to get an idea for what we did.

And, I would have a chat with your friend regarding the calligraphy. I bet she didn''t forget!

GOOD LUCK!

CG

 

[jcrow]

calligraphy- honestly, i''d just pay for it to be done.

but again, that''s me. i''d be concerned that something would go wrong and that could cause a problem with the friendship. you know how that can go. more than likely, though, nothing will go wrong. but i''d rather call someone i''m paying out on it rather than a friend whom i''m staying friends with long after the calligraphy.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Just because I don''t like it when the bride''s parents'' names come up first, as if they''re in charge and *allowing* the marriage to happen, we are going to start with our names, then say, "together with their parents"

Like this:

Bride''s name
and
Groom''s name
together with their parents
*with or without their names here*
request the honor of your presence
to witness their union
and pray for their marriage
when they exchange vows
on blah blah date
at blah blah time
at blah blah place.

I think the COUPLES'' names coming first looks classy.

 

[diane5006]

Hi...all...we had a similar situation...where I couldn''t list the names of the parents...long story...and..wanted to include everybody...I used an invitation lady...and this is the wording we used...I had to look it up from my invitation...

Together with their families

BRIDES FULL NAME

and

GROOMS FULL NAME

request the honour of your presence

at (DETAILS HERE) - eg at a Nuptial Mass uniting them in the Sacrement of Holy Matrimony, or at their Marriage

DAY of WEEK, DATE (spelled out - no numbers)

YEAR (spelled out - no numbers)

TIME (spelled out - no numbers)

PLACE

CITY, STATE

Best of luck

 

[fatafelice]

ChargerGrrl and Diane5006: Thanks for posting what you put in your invites. It is nice to see what "real brides" have done.

Fisher: That makes sense, and I know that is how most places recommend they are done, but I just don't want to see our names first thing on the invite. That is partly based on the design of the invites themselves (see below) and the way our names will be in script -- I just think they would look unbalanced or something. I guess I am just used to seeing text before the names, so it would look odd to me to have the fancy names first. Not rational, I know...

Jazmine: I am with you on the first/third person thing. I am also an english teacher, so NO way would I mix those on the invite.

Aprilcait: I tried to work the invitations into the conversation at lunch today when someone else asked me about the wedding, but then the topic got changed, so I chickened out.

Jcrow: I agree that it would be easier all around just to pay the stationer to do it, but FI already thinks the amount of money being spent on invites is insane and if this friend can't do it, he wants to ask this other lady in town if she will. And I don't really think her style will go with the invite (too blocky) and the hand-lettered names. Of course, my work friend's style could be the same... Argh! I wish I had an unlimited amount of money for this wedding!

Okay, do not laugh, but here is the photoshop sketch I made up to explain to the stationer what I was thinking about for the design. Please do not take this as an example of my artistic ability -- I did it in like 5 minutes -- and rest assured that the real deal will be done by a professional! I am hoping that the actual illustration will look a little more "vintage" and more modern at the same time...

 

[Scintillating]

I like the wording Fatafelice, it''s modern and proper for a couple who is throwing the wedding themselves (with help from the family). Don''t include your parents names, just together with their families is fine - My brother and SIL used this wording on their invites.

Scintillating...

 

[fatafelice]

Okay, if you'll put up with me, I have another invite question...

Do you think the illustration would look better done like a silhouette? (See even worse photoshop rendering

)

ETA: I am not even sure if this is possible with letterpress...Jcrow, what do you think?

 

[flopkins]

fatafelice - try checking here for more variations (as if you need it to be more complex!!) http://verseit.com/index.cfm

I like the silouette look. You can definitely do it in letterpress... But I think I would do it in a softer color, the black feels very ''stark'' to me.

 

[fatafelice]

flopkins: thanks for the link! I''ll check it out. And the actual ink is supposed to be navy blue. I was thinking about using a lighter blue for the illustration, but I am worried about adding more cost with a second color.

hmmm...now I am really thinking about it...back to photoshop...

 

[diane5006]

I like the sillohette...very nice...

 

[aljdewey]

In all honestly, I'm not wild about the "request the pleasure of your company". That seems standard fare for run-of-the-mill parties and events, but not special enough for a wedding.


I'd suggest......

Together with their families,
BRIDE and GROOM
invite you to share in their celebration and joy
as they exchange marriage vows on
Saturday.....30th of June, ....
etc. etc.
rest of the information.

blah blah blah.

 

[Scintillating]

OOooo Al - great suggestion. I really like that - Celebration and Joy - its'' really expressive and gets to the heart of the matter.

I''ll have to remember that for our wedding.

Scintillating...

 

[gailrmv]

hi! Love your rendering.... Biltmore estate is fabulous... sounds like a wonderful wedding!

Speaking of, I don''t care for the wording about requesting your presence at the marriage. To me the marriage is what will go on for many years. You are requesting their presence at your wedding.