Invitation question.....

[slgbug1]

I''m not a bride just yet, but..

My boyfriend & I have been dating for just about 3 years. We''ve had this couple friend that we hang out with all the time (and have for the whole time we''ve been dating). The couple is getting married & sent the invitation to Mr. blah blah & Guest. Then I got an email invite to the bridal shower 1 week before.

Do you think this is rude?

 

[glitterata]

Do you live together? If so, they should have sent the invitation to Mr. His Name and Ms. Your Name (or Miss, if you use Miss). If not, they should have sent you separate invitations. Maybe it was a clerical error? Maybe they were trying to save money by cutting down on the invitations they sent out?

If I were you, I'd try to just let it go if you're fond of this couple. People make mistakes, especially when they're stressed by the pressures of an upcoming wedding. Weddings are etiquette minefields, and they often bring out strange emotions in the guests, too.

 

[cmcwill]

The same thing happened to me, only I was already engaged when they called me 'and guest' I understand your displeasure. I have since let it go and taken it as good learning experience for what NOT to do. I personally think they should send one invitation, with both names on it. Its their job to figure out spelling, long-term relationships, etc.

Colleen

 

[Mara]

I would just let it go, alot gets overlooked during wedding planning which you will soon find out and little things such as this may bother some people, but trust me..when you are hassling over working with vendors and just trying to get the invitations out, little things like this don't really occupy much of your brain space.

I am sure if you are friends with this couple and have known them that long that it was just an oversight rather than a slight. I still have a few bridal shower friends who I never sent thank you notes to...I lost them in my car then found them after the wedding!! I emailed them quick notes saying I was sorry for my delay, but I really appreciated the gift etc.

So many things were happening, esp right before the wedding, and you feel horrible when you think of something you inadvertently did or didn't do, but you can't worry about it long-term, so you just hope your best friends understand and have a laugh about it!

It could also be that they had a friend or relative help with creating the address list or addressing invitations and if the person did not know you, they may have just put guest. When others help you as well, it's hard to be responsible for what people do!

 

[wonka27]

This would be a petty thing to get bent over when considering a long-term friendship. There are bigger tragedies in the world!

 

[slgbug1]

I know, I guess I was feeling a little too sensitive. But, I'm taking notes for planning my wedding (I'll have plenty of time since I want a 2 year engagement)! Thanks guys!

 

[jenwill]

This is a big debate on the wedding boards....

I will say in their defense, that most etiquette books up to last year state that they couple that sent you the invite did it correctly. That you send the invite to whichever of the couple is the 'primary' friend, then put guest. You only put 2 names if they are already married. It is only this year that the etiquette books have changed to recognize a 'unit' as anyone that is living together and/or engaged- and then you put both names on the invite. I receive many 'and guests' (lots of weddings and parties this year)- and choose not to take offense, as that is what has been 'taught' for so long.

And, if they went with and guest on the invite, please do not be offended if the seating assignments reflect the same thing....even if you put your name on the RSVP.

Just remember that there is a lot going on, and if the bride was really slighting you, she could pick something bigger than this to do it.....it is just one of those things that is run across in todays society when 'the norm' is different that when the 'rules' were written.