International Adoption

[Logan Sapphire]

Date: 10/7/2009 12:45:56 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Thanks for everything you''ve shared so far guys!


Logan, how did you guys approach it? Do you go through local resources or distant ones when you started looking into it? And what were the delays due to besides immigration stuff? And did you hit any kinds of roadblocks? And for all of the stuff, lawyers, agencys, country fees, ICE fingerprinting, child abuse checks--was all of that local?

OMG- I had this whole long response typed out and I closed the tab accidentally

Anyway, as I mentioned above, we used two different agencies for our adoption- the referral/placement agency and the homestudy/post-placement agency. We knew from the start that we''d be adopting from Korea and from one specific agency, which is based in OK. The reasons were: 1) my sister and I were adopted through this agency in the 70s; 2) they have a Korean Heritage program that allows 1st or 2nd generation Koreans-Americans and adoptees to be fast-tracked through the process and to request the child''s gender; and 3) the Korean counterpart in Seoul had a lot of programs that helped the larger community in need, such as programs for children who would never be adopted, single pregnant women, the elderly, and people with disabilities. We liked that part of the fees for our adoption would also help more than just adoptable children.

Because our agency is licensed by the Korean govt to work only in certain Midwest states and a few counties in Southern CA, we had to get permission from the Korean govt/Korean counterpart agency to work with the OK agency, otherwise we would''ve had to find a local agency in the DC area. We also went to an adoption fair here in DC to see who we could work with for the homestudy/post-placement part. Some agencies didn''t do Korean adoptions themselves, so we didn''t choose them b/c we wanted social workers who were familiar with Korean requirements. If you''re not certain what country you want to adopt from, you should definitely go to an adoption fair if you can to hear about the various country requirements. I remember that some countries don''t allow couples with no fertility issues to adopt.

We didn''t really have any roadblocks other than bureaucracy doing its thing. A lot of it is dependent on how fast you can write your biography, make all your necessary appts, and get your references to send in their letters quickly. Some people take months to write their bios- we took a week, so that helped things along.

The main problem with Korea at the moment is that the Korean govt wants to shut down international adoption and only do domestic adoptions by something like 2012, so some US agencies are really slowing down and/or placing greater restrictions on who can adopt. Our OK agency is doing that, though our DC agency is not.

By the way, I 100% agree with Diamond Seeker on the heritage aspect. When I was younger, I wasn''t interested AT ALL in learning about Korea, and fortunately my parents didn''t push it. Now that I''m older, I''m more interested, but it''s on my own terms and in my own time.

Let me know if you have anymore questions. Obviously adoption is not for everyone, but as an adoptee and an adoptive parent, I''m a huge advocate of adoption. When I got pregnant, I actually mourned the loss of adopting a second child, and it''s still taking me awhile to adjust to the fact that we won''t be going back to Korea. I guess it''s kind of the reverse of people who have to mourn the loss of a future bio child.

Here''s a pic of my little pumpkin pie. She''s the sweetest thing ever!

 

[icekid]

I enjoyed reading through this thread so much! Adoption is always something that I have felt was to be part of my life eventually.

I''ve finally given into my hubby and agreed to one bio kid, but after I finish residency international adoption will be up next. It''s fabulous to hear about your great experiences, ds and Logan!

 

[Clio]

Freke, my aunt adopted from China 10 years ago. At the time, it took 18 months. She picked China because some countries had restrictions she couldn''t meet (had to be Catholic, had to married) and because if she was only going to have one child, she really wanted a girl. My cousin lived in a foster home until my aunt went to pick her up, and it was a good situation for her.

As for culture, my cousin has done some Chinese school and they take the occasional trip to China (where they visit her foster mother) but it''s definitely not the dominant part of her identity - or even a very large part. My aunt gives her the opportunity to learn about China and Chinese culture, but it''s up to my cousin how much she chooses to do. Right now, soccer is much more important to her than learning Mandarin.

A good friend of mine recently adopted from Korea. The initially looked at Latin America (esp. Guatemala) because the husband is from Mexico and my friend has a PhD in Latin American studies. They didn''t like the feeling they got, though - very tranactional. So they went with China. They did everything that needed to happen on their end and then waited for 3+ years. Finally they switched to Korea and brought their son home about 15 months later. He''s such a joy!

They do encourage him to explore Korean culture (as much as a toddler can) but again it''s not dominant. In fact, the father speaks Spanish to him at home, my friend speaks French (she came to the US from France as a teenager), and he goes to a Spanish-speaking daycare.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 10/11/2009 9:03:32 PM
Author: icekid
I enjoyed reading through this thread so much! Adoption is always something that I have felt was to be part of my life eventually.

I''ve finally given into my hubby and agreed to one bio kid, but after I finish residency international adoption will be up next. It''s fabulous to hear about your great experiences, ds and Logan!

Thanks, icekid! It truly is a joy getting children both ways!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 10/11/2009 8:56:55 PM
Author: Logan Sapphire

Date: 10/7/2009 12:45:56 PM
Author: FrekeChild
Thanks for everything you've shared so far guys!


Logan, how did you guys approach it? Do you go through local resources or distant ones when you started looking into it? And what were the delays due to besides immigration stuff? And did you hit any kinds of roadblocks? And for all of the stuff, lawyers, agencys, country fees, ICE fingerprinting, child abuse checks--was all of that local?

OMG- I had this whole long response typed out and I closed the tab accidentally

Anyway, as I mentioned above, we used two different agencies for our adoption- the referral/placement agency and the homestudy/post-placement agency. We knew from the start that we'd be adopting from Korea and from one specific agency, which is based in OK. The reasons were: 1) my sister and I were adopted through this agency in the 70s; 2) they have a Korean Heritage program that allows 1st or 2nd generation Koreans-Americans and adoptees to be fast-tracked through the process and to request the child's gender; and 3) the Korean counterpart in Seoul had a lot of programs that helped the larger community in need, such as programs for children who would never be adopted, single pregnant women, the elderly, and people with disabilities. We liked that part of the fees for our adoption would also help more than just adoptable children.

Because our agency is licensed by the Korean govt to work only in certain Midwest states and a few counties in Southern CA, we had to get permission from the Korean govt/Korean counterpart agency to work with the OK agency, otherwise we would've had to find a local agency in the DC area. We also went to an adoption fair here in DC to see who we could work with for the homestudy/post-placement part. Some agencies didn't do Korean adoptions themselves, so we didn't choose them b/c we wanted social workers who were familiar with Korean requirements. If you're not certain what country you want to adopt from, you should definitely go to an adoption fair if you can to hear about the various country requirements. I remember that some countries don't allow couples with no fertility issues to adopt.

We didn't really have any roadblocks other than bureaucracy doing its thing. A lot of it is dependent on how fast you can write your biography, make all your necessary appts, and get your references to send in their letters quickly. Some people take months to write their bios- we took a week, so that helped things along.

The main problem with Korea at the moment is that the Korean govt wants to shut down international adoption and only do domestic adoptions by something like 2012, so some US agencies are really slowing down and/or placing greater restrictions on who can adopt. Our OK agency is doing that, though our DC agency is not.

By the way, I 100% agree with Diamond Seeker on the heritage aspect. When I was younger, I wasn't interested AT ALL in learning about Korea, and fortunately my parents didn't push it. Now that I'm older, I'm more interested, but it's on my own terms and in my own time.

Let me know if you have anymore questions. Obviously adoption is not for everyone, but as an adoptee and an adoptive parent, I'm a huge advocate of adoption. When I got pregnant, I actually mourned the loss of adopting a second child, and it's still taking me awhile to adjust to the fact that we won't be going back to Korea. I guess it's kind of the reverse of people who have to mourn the loss of a future bio child.

Here's a pic of my little pumpkin pie. She's the sweetest thing ever!

Oh, not everyone will understand that, but I really, really do!!!! Incidentally, I have a friend with 2 girls from Korea. They are precious, of course! And thanks for confirming the heritage thing. I am glad you agree on that perspective!

Your baby is beautiful!

 

[HooCares]

I really enjoyed reading this thread, and everyone''s different perspectives on adoption issues. My husband and I are currently in the process of adopting a baby girl from China. We started the process in April of this year, and are waiting now for our fingerprint appointment from Immigration. Our process has been relatively smooth so far. I am really happy with the adoption agency we chose, and our social worker. The paperwork is tedious, but doable. Right now, there is a lot of stop and go. A few weeks ago, we finished the home study process, and I rushed to gather all the documents we need for our dossier (the paperwork that is sent over to China), but since then there is nothing to do, but just wait for our appointment, before we can move forward.

Your experience with adopting from China, Diamondseeker, was especially interesting for me to read. I was sad for you when you lost the child from Vietnam (I can only imagine that kind of disappointment), but I''m so glad things worked out with your daughter from China! She is just beautiful, and your story is uplifting! I thought it was interesting also how China didn''t use to allow couples with children to adopt.

I don''t know much about adopting from other countries because it has always been China in my mind. Not only do I feel a calling to adopt a child who needs a loving home, but because my family of origin is Chinese (my dad is 100%, and I am biracial), I have always been drawn to the idea of adopting a Chinese baby.

Freke, thank you for starting this thread! It is a great idea to gather as much information as you can before you make such a big decision! I wanted to update that in regards to China, the waiting time has gotten longer, and couples are currently waiting on average 36-38 months for a referral after all their paperwork is received in China. And the waitlist is continuing to grow, as China made their eligibility requirements more strict in March 2007, and people rushed to get in their dossiers, creating a bottleneck effect.

If you do decide to go ahead with international adoption (and you don''t have to be sure to contact adoption agencies for more information), I recommend starting by interviewing several different agencies. Most have free informational sessions, which they strongly encourage you to attend to get further information, and you can get a feel for which one you would feel more comfortable working with. Good luck with your journey!

 

[HooCares]

Freke-I went back and looked at your original questions. I have biological twins, who are currently 21 months old. We are trying to use the China wait time to our advantage, as I want to focus on our twins right now, and would like to adopt when our twins are 5-6 years old. It is impossible to know how long the wait will be, which is difficult for me--a planner! We will make the best of it no matter whether the wait time is shorter or longer than we are expecting.

In regards to cost, it really depends on what country you decide on. Our adoption agency estimated 25 thousand, including travel expenses for 2 weeks in China. We are paying about half now as we go through the paperwork process, and half several years down the road when we get our referral and go to China, most of those costs are for airfare and mandatory donation to the orphanage.

 

[icekid]

HooCares- Keep us updated as things happen, if you would like (I would love to hear the details of the process). It sounds like my husband and I will have to jump into this game sooner than later, too. 3 year wait now?! That is intense. Things seem to change so rapidly, though, with adoptions regarding countries and their myriad of rules.