I''m baaaaaaack!

[Dreamgirl]

Helloooooooooooooo PS'ers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I just made a pretty sad post but I wanted to let you all know that I'm back and feeling more like myself again. I've realized some things and been thinking a lot lately about how life is so precious that there isn't time to waste with worry about the future. What will come will come and I've been working on appreciating everyday life and loving it!!! I've got a great job, a wonderful family, and a loving and sweet boyfriend

Everything in life will take place when it is supposed to, just like it always does. I don't need to get in the way of anything happening to me other than just keep on going down the road in life. Everything will come to me! So I am working on NO MORE worry!!!

So far it's been working out rather well. I'm still working on it though...

You've GOT to watch this clip here on youtube which all makes complete and total sense to me and exactly what I needed to hear...I'm sure many will also find it useful.

 

[Bia]

Good

PS--We missed you.

 

[Blackpaw]

Yayyyy!! im so glad you''re back and feeling better

 

[tlh]

Glad you are feeling better, welcome back!

 

[idreamofcushions]

Welcome back!

 

[princessplease]

Welcome back!

 

[LabRatPhD]

Welcome back, Dream!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks ladies! Did any of you watch the youtube clip?

 

[princessplease]

I have not yet. My stupid computer at work has no speakers, lol! I'm planning on it when I get home, though. I'm a **huge** worrier, so anything to help alleviate my amount of worry would be so beneficial to me.

 

[misskitty]

Welcome back! Just watched the clip -- definitely some great perspective. Sometimes I get too caught up in thinking that things are happening (or not happening) to me, and it''s good to get a reminder of how much control I have over my own happiness!

 

[Dreamgirl]

He says everything that I''ve been so worried about lately. I think its THE PERFECT advice and I really have taken it to heart...

 

[jcarlylew]

glad you found some resolve! i look forward to watching the video when i get home.

 

[Lauren8211]

DG!!!!!!!!


(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

I was gone all day and only recently jumped back on PS, and I''m so glad you''re back!!!!


I''m glad you''re feeling better! I missed you!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Welcome back! I missed you!!!

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. --Agatha Christie

one of my favorite quotes. Welcome back Dream

I hope things work out for you these next couple days. We''ll all be thinking of you.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. But......my other taking a break from PS thread has gone to the dogs which is making me reconsider my return...lol

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

Date: 3/6/2009 11:59:17 AM
Author: Dreamgirl
Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. But......my other taking a break from PS thread has gone to the dogs which is making me reconsider my return...lol

Yea what happened with that? I havent had the energy to read through it all. Regardless - no matter how you feel about your status as far as engagement it''ll be good for you to hang around and help others or just small talk with us again. I think the hardest thing will be, like you said, not getting bad LIW with the ring threads and BWW threads - just try not to look at them and if it becomes to much again take another break. PS is like an obsessive ex boyfriend - it''ll always be there when youre feeling down

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''m so glad you are back dg! We missed yooooou!

 

[Bia]

Dream, just remember that everything everyone said was coming from a place of friendship and caring.


We love you here, you know that.

 

[musey]

Date: 3/6/2009 1:22:33 PM
Author: Bia
Dream, just remember that everything everyone said was coming from a place of friendship and caring.

Ditto. I didn't participate in your thread (before you had it removed), but I did read and felt disappointed to see how hurt you were by peoples' posts. Everyone seemed to be on the same "we're just trying to help you" page by the end, so I was hoping you wouldn't continue to take it so negatively.

I understand that you felt attacked, but I think if you'd taken a step back, you would have seen that people were really not trying to attack or criticize you. They were just trying to help.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 3/6/2009 2:03:42 PM
Author: musey

Date: 3/6/2009 1:22:33 PM
Author: Bia
Dream, just remember that everything everyone said was coming from a place of friendship and caring.

Ditto. I didn''t participate in your thread (before you had it removed), but I did read and felt disappointed to see how hurt you were by peoples'' posts. Everyone seemed to be on the same ''we''re just trying to help you'' page by the end, so I was hoping you wouldn''t continue to take it so negatively.

I understand that you felt attacked, but I think if you''d taken a step back, you would have seen that people were really not trying to attack or criticize you. They were just trying to help.

Double ditto. And I think if you were to go back and read everything after diffusing a bit, you could have come out with a different perspective. Unfortunately the thread''s gone...

 

[Dreamgirl]

Yeah, it was removed because I don''t need to be scrutinized and made a complete fool of. I''m so disappointed in all of you! Shame on you all! You should feel awful for trying to help something that doesn''t need helping.

WTF do you people not understand?

I didn''t ask for help or advice on reconsidering my relationship. I don''t need to hear about it. I don''t want to hear about it. There is NOTHING to reconsider. We are in a loving relationship that has always been amazing. We will get engaged and married when the time is right FOR US. I''m sure there are a lot of lurkers who feel the same way I do about these things with some of their relationships as well.

Some of you choose to get married after knowing each other for 6 months. Some of you who are only 23 are getting married. That''s your story, this is mine. I''m tired of justifying myself to you. That doesn''t make you any more knowledgeable about life and relationships than me. I just want to come here and be friends with everyone. And I thought I was until I see everyone has this ignorant outlook on who I am and what my relationship is. You don''t have the authority to give me this advice because I don''t give you permission to. You don''t know us, you only know what I post. Everyone who knows us IRL think we are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G together and perfect for each other...and we feel the same way. We just want to do things right in life and to us, what we are doing is right.

I''ve said this before and I''ll say it again, just because I post about a small stupid little tiff (because I''m so open) that we get into doesn''t mean I''m with the wrong guy. Just because we are trying to get our professional careers on the right track before marriage doesn''t mean I''m with the wrong guy. Just because I think about getting married and have plans for a wedding but it isn''t going to happen right at this time should mean I''m with the wrong guy. I can still be a LIW because I am waiting...because I do want that in my life when the time comes. I can still think about rings and marriage, going ring browsing, and daydreaming about my future. I don''t see anything wrong with that.

If people here don''t understand where I am coming from, or what I am saying doesn''t make sense to you, there is no need for you to come around all high and mighty telling me what you think of me and my relationship- all agreeing with one another amongst yourselves patting yourselves on the back for a job well done telling someone to reconsider things.

Why don''t all you reconsider your relationships/engagements/marriages?

You do it your way, I''ll do it mine.

I feel so awful that everyone here thinks so low of me and how I live my life, it makes me almost feel sick. I''ve been here about a year now (in a couple of weeks) and I truly thought you were all supportive of me but I was COMPLETELY wrong.

I DO NOT want to hear about this anymore. You people make ME SICK. I AM SOOOOOO DONE.

 

[ckrickett]

welcome back!

 

[Bia]

Dream, I don't know what to say. I felt/feel like I should have not said anything, but at the same time, I was trying to support you and let you know that I understand.

Honestly, you seem so angry right now I'm not going to add fuel to fire. I just want you to know that I never thought your relationship was not a good one. If that is what you thought/think, I am sorry.

I didn't offer advice because you didn't ask for it, and because I know how this topic can be taken places no one wants to go...and can escalate very quickly. With that being said, no one came from a bad place. Not me, not you, not anyone. We are here for you, to be your friend and lend you support when you need it.

I hope you consider that, because I do feel like your friend, and hope you feel the same way. AGAIN, from me, I apologize if I said anything to hurt your feelings. I never meant to.

 

[lisamarie84]

Date: 3/6/2009 4:35:02 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
You don''t have the authority to give me this advice because I don''t give you permission to.

Dreamgirl, I honestly believe the girls were trying to help. I don''t think anybody was intentionally being malicious. As soon as you post (anything, not just problems) on a public forum you''re going to get opinions even if you didn''t ask for them. You can''t censor people, but you certainly have the choice to take or ignore their advice.

I''m sorry you''re hurt right now, but I hope you decide to stay. I''m on a few forums and I truly think that this is one of the nicest groups out there.

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

I just wanted to say welcome back! I really enjoy your posts and think you are a great addition to PS.

I followed your other thread... and this one and I am sorry you are feeling so angry and hurt. I know I would feel the exact same way if it were me. Although I don''t think anyone meant to judge you and your relationship, I know I would have read it that way and been angry too. You''re right we don''t know your relationship as well as you do which is why so many opinions are formed based solely on your posts. It''s not fair and can really be hurtful. When I read your posts I do my best to look at each post individually, instead of your relationship as a whole. I understand we all need to vent every now and then and that is completely fine... and I would think normal.

BF and I have been together 5.5 years. In that short amount of time we have been through more than most couples in a lifetime. I don''t think my relationship is bad or that my BF is the wrong person for me, but I am sure if I posted my random feelings when I was blue I would get the same responses you do. Not every relationship is the same. I know when I read this forum I think of how easy some relationships APPEAR to be, etc, but that doesn''t make theirs anymore special, right, better, perfect, etc.

I think this is just extremely bad timing, in general, considering those same things were recently mentioned in a previous thread. It''s hard to not get your feelings hurt, even though this is a public forum and anyone can say what they want, you are human too and have feelings.

Although it wasn''t something you wanted to hear (I know it would be, and was, difficult for me to read) , just remember these people do care about you or they probably wouldn''t have said anything at all.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 3/6/2009 5:39:21 PM
Author: Definitely, Maybe
I just wanted to say welcome back! I really enjoy your posts and think you are a great addition to PS.

I followed your other thread... and this one and I am sorry you are feeling so angry and hurt. I know I would feel the exact same way if it were me. Although I don't think anyone meant to judge you and your relationship, I know I would have read it that way and been angry too. You're right we don't know your relationship as well as you do which is why so many opinions are formed based solely on your posts. It's not fair and can really be hurtful. When I read your posts I do my best to look at each post individually, instead of your relationship as a whole. I understand we all need to vent every now and then and that is completely fine... and I would think normal.

BF and I have been together 5.5 years. In that short amount of time we have been through more than most couples in a lifetime. I don't think my relationship is bad or that my BF is the wrong person for me, but I am sure if I posted my random feelings when I was blue I would get the same responses you do. Not every relationship is the same. I know when I read this forum I think of how easy some relationships APPEAR to be, etc, but that doesn't make theirs anymore special, right, better, perfect, etc.

I think this is just extremely bad timing, in general, considering those same things were recently mentioned in a previous thread. It's hard to not get your feelings hurt, even though this is a public forum and anyone can say what they want, you are human too and have feelings.

Although it wasn't something you wanted to hear (I know it would be, and was, difficult for me to read) , just remember these people do care about you or they probably wouldn't have said anything at all.

Thanks girl...

It's nice to see SOMEONE can see this from my perspective...

BTW, certain members DO make snarky comments to me in little ways everytime they get a chance. They know who they are- and they shall remain nameless. Though, I never did anything to them and have always been nice, it seems to continue...

 

[misskitty]

Dream, I''m glad you''re back, and I hope you stick around! I don''t think I saw the other thread (or at least the part where it got contentious) but I hope you know that not everyone thinks low of you/your relationship!

 

[purrfectpear]

Someone needs to put their big girl panties on. You seem way too invested in what other people think or say. Neither real life nor Pricescope promise unicorns and lucky charms. Seriously.

I think everyone wishes you the best, but your angry rant is very telling.

 

[musey]

Date: 3/6/2009 4:35:02 PM
Author: Dreamgirl

I DO NOT want to hear about this anymore. You people make ME SICK. I AM SOOOOOO DONE.

The LsIW will be sad to see you go.

I maintain that people were only trying to help. Some of the people you claim are singling you out and disparaging you are people who I know quite well (both on and off the boards), that I know would never treat someone that way. I know its very difficult to understand, and even more difficult to take, but no one was saying anything to you out of malice.

I feel so awful that everyone here thinks so low of me and how I live my life, it makes me almost feel sick.

You shouldn't have to feel 'sick' over this. The advice that people gave you in that thread may have been unsolicited, but it certainly was not out of line. As people have said continuously, if you are happy and the relationship is where you want it to be, then those "negative" comments shouldn't bother you. You do not have to justify yourself or your relationship to anyone - if someone has gotten the wrong impression, you can simply ignore them or say "You seem to have gotten the wrong impression about me/my relationship. I don't find your assessment of the situation to be at all accurate to my relationship." ... and then people will more than likely respond with, "Alright, sorry for the misunderstanding" (at least, that would be my response to such a statement).

Also, being annoyed at people for pushing a point unnecessarily is one thing, but lashing out and giving digs to "get back at them" is another, and entirely uncalled for. I generally like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I was very disappointed to see that kind of thing from you.

Why don't all you reconsider your relationships/engagements/marriages? You do it your way, I'll do it mine.

I think that what many people were saying is that they do "reconsider their relationships/engagements/marriages" or that they have in the past. The thread is no longer there for me to point to, but I remember Princesss was a prime (and very recent) example of this. I know I reconsider (if you can call it that) my relationship quite often. It usually lasts only a few seconds, but it does happen all the time.

I think it's only healthy to sit down and have an honest talk with oneself about their relationship every now and again. I didn't get the feeling that anyone was suggesting anything more.

-

Anyway, all that is simply to say that, DG, I think many people are left wide-eyed at this whole thing. I don't think anyone expected you to react as strongly as you did, and I know some people are still sitting there thinking "What on earth did I do??" If you always assume the worst, people will start developing a fear of interaction with you. No one likes to be accused of being ill-intentioned when all they wanted to do was help.

I do hope that you take a few steps back and look at the way this interaction has played out. Hopefully you will then see that people were not out to get you.