If you''re a passenger on a road trip, do you fall asleep?

[fieryred33143]

I got really annoyed this weekend with a friend of mine. She begged if I could go with her to the Keys to take care of her wedding stuff because if I didn’t go, she would go alone. So I agreed. I didn’t know that I would have to be the one to pay for the rental and the gas. Or that I would be the one to drive there, all around the Keys, and drive home. By the time we were on the road home, I was annoyed.

So we took off around 9:30AM and she falls asleep as soon as we got in the car. The trip was 5 hours long, we got the same amount of sleep, no flippin’ Starbucks in site, and she falls asleep. When I tried to put the radio on to keep myself entertained, she asked if I could turn it down.

My FI and I take road trips all the time. We never sleep. If he’s driving, I stay up chatting with him and vice versa. Why? Because when you’re on an open road with just trees and water on both side of you and the sun is blaring in your face and it’s early in the morning, having a car full of sleeping people makes it very hard to keep awake. Normally if we do have a car full of people, the passenger stays awake while the back seat passengers can sleep and we rotate so the driver isn’t alone.

Is this just me/us? Do you guys fall asleep in the car?

 

[~*Alexis*~]

it depends on how long the trip is. If its more than 5 hours...I might cap nap.

She made you pay for the car and the gas?? I would have told her to fork over some $$!!

I brought my Ipod on a trip just so I could blast it in my ear so I could stay awake. It worked!

 

[Clairitek]

When we are on really long trips (like on our way back from my parents house which is 300 miles away) I always try to stay awake. If we are just on our way back from his college friends place or his parents (both around 45 mins away) I don''t feel bad falling asleep and he doesn''t care. If I really feel drowsy on one of the longer trips I always ask before I fall asleep and I totally don''t mind if he turns on the radio or his iPod to keep himself occupied. If he asks me not to sleep I do my best to stay awake.

I''m sorry your friend did that to you. Its also too bad that she expected you to pay for everything. I''m shocked that she expects you to pay for expenses like those that are related to her wedding.

 

[joflier]

That was really rude imo......and I think you were probably waaay too nice in that situation! At least nicer than I would have been!

Personally, i can''t fall asleep in a car, even if I wanted to. When we were on a trip last year, and spent the night in the airport (i couldn''t sleep there either) and I had been up for over 36 exhausting hours and then had a 4 hour drive from the airport to get home, I still couldn''t sleep in the car! I can never fall asleep easily. In any case I usually end up doing a lot of the driving because of this. I don''t mind if anyone else sleeps, as long as I can have the radio on (and they don''t start snoring) then I''m fine.

 

[dianne]

It''s a shame you had to pay for everything...I''m amazed that you were put in that position. I feel like I''m usually the one who offers to do more than my fair share so I don''t put anyone else out. It''s surprising who will let you do more than your fair share, too.

I have a friend who told me she would fall asleep when her and her boyfriend went to the beach, 4 hrs. When she and I took a trip I told her if she feel asleep to not complain when we ended up in the wrong place because I am terrible with a map!!! (really, it''s true) She stayed fully awake.

 

[fieryred33143]

Yeah the making me pay for it was rude BUT I should have spoken up. That was me being too nice and too cowardly to say anything.

I do agree that if I''m in the car and its a 45 minute drive, I''ll shut my eyes if I''m really tired.

 

[bee*]

I never doze off but D always does! It never really bothers me to be honest as I usually listen to the radio and sing along to music. It would bother me now if he told me to turn off the radio and he slept

I think that it''s really rude what your friend did though-asked you to go with her, made you pay and then she slept the whole way!

 

[Lauren8211]

Man, that was rude Fiery!! I''d not have been happy. I can''t believe you paid, either!

Whenever I read your posts I think one thing: Fiery is too damn nice! You''re too much of a sweetheart! Your friends take you for granted and it is a shame!

Your friends are lucky to have you!

 

[LostSapphire]

Her rudeness aside: you should tally up the expenses and present her with a copy, requesting "her half". From the looks of your first post, it was for HER wedding, correct? How come you're stuck holding the tab?

LS

 

[Tacori E-ring]

If I am with a friend no, with DH always

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 9/29/2008 12:58:26 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
If I am with a friend no, with DH always

Ditto! Kris makes fun of me for it, actually.

I can''t believe she told you to turn down the radio. Driver gets to listen to whatever they want to.

Also, inviting you then expecting you to pay for everything? That is not only rude, it''s just plain tacky!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 9/29/2008 12:57:38 PM
Author: LostSapphire
Her rudeness aside: you should tally up the expenses and present her with a copy, requesting ''her half''. From the looks of your first post, it was for HER wedding, correct? How come you''re stuck holding the tab?

LS

Yes it was for her wedding. I honestly didn''t think it was going to end up that way. I sent her a link where she can look up for car rentals. She send me an email back saying that she was so tired and stressed with all the stuff she had to do and asked if I could reserve it. I said fine and put it in her name. Then she was supposed to pick up the car but called me to ask if I could pick it up instead (it made more sense that way since the rental was 5 minutes north of me and she was 15 minutes south and we were continuing south).

So I mentioned that I put the reservation under my name fully expecting her to ask how much the rental was but she didn''t.

Again, that''s my fault. I''m too much of a coward to say anything.

 

[VictoriaRose]

I would ask he to pay for half, at least.

And I never fall asleep, because it''s rude. Driving is never fun for long distances, but having someone to talk to and sing songs with makes it bearable.

 

[Maisie]

I usually do the driving so I never fall asleep lol!!

Seriously though, if I am really tired from driving I let my DH drive. Then I go to sleep. I am the worlds worst passenger. I feel sick within minutes of the car moving. The safest thing is for me to nap. That way I won''t throw up in the car!

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 9/29/2008 11:37:10 AM
Author:fieryred33143

I got really annoyed this weekend with a friend of mine. She begged if I could go with her to the Keys to take care of her wedding stuff because if I didn’t go, she would go alone. So I agreed. I didn’t know that I would have to be the one to pay for the rental and the gas. Or that I would be the one to drive there, all around the Keys, and drive home. By the time we were on the road home, I was annoyed.

So we took off around 9:30AM and she falls asleep as soon as we got in the car. The trip was 5 hours long, we got the same amount of sleep, no flippin’ Starbucks in site, and she falls asleep. When I tried to put the radio on to keep myself entertained, she asked if I could turn it down.

My FI and I take road trips all the time. We never sleep. If he’s driving, I stay up chatting with him and vice versa. Why? Because when you’re on an open road with just trees and water on both side of you and the sun is blaring in your face and it’s early in the morning, having a car full of sleeping people makes it very hard to keep awake. Normally if we do have a car full of people, the passenger stays awake while the back seat passengers can sleep and we rotate so the driver isn’t alone.

Is this just me/us? Do you guys fall asleep in the car?

Why were you expected to pay for her trip and why did you pay?You were an invited guest and she should have paid for car and gas...as a guest she should have drove first and BEFORE leaving asked if you could take turns driving.Your silence was your approval that you didnt mind driving the whole time....you should have planned a driving schedule before you left or just pulled over and said...your turn to drive.Its a hard lesson when friends use us for time or money...but you let yourself be used by not standing up for yourself when you were paying for that car...then the gas... and you drove the whole distance without a complaint...chalk it up to a learning experiance,demand equality from your friends in the future and get rid of friends that expect you to pay for their travel expences and be their on call driver.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 9/29/2008 1:35:51 PM
Author: jewelerman
Why were you expected to pay for her trip and why did you pay?You were an invited guest and she should have paid for car and gas...as a guest she should have drove first and BEFORE leaving asked if you could take turns driving.Your silence was your approval that you didnt mind driving the whole time....you should have planned a driving schedule before you left or just pulled over and said...your turn to drive.Its a hard lesson when friends use us for time or money...but you let yourself be used by not standing up for yourself when you were paying for that car...then the gas... and you drove the whole distance without a complaint...chalk it up to a learning experiance,demand equality from your friends in the future and get rid of friends that expect you to pay for their travel expences and be their on call driver.

That's why I said a few posts down that the whole driving/paying for the rental/gas was my fault for not standing up for myself.

I was just wondering if people also fall asleep when they're passengers on a road trip since I wouldn't do this and didn't know if it was just me.

 

[Kay]

Date: 9/29/2008 1:07:51 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 9/29/2008 12:57:38 PM
Author: LostSapphire
Her rudeness aside: you should tally up the expenses and present her with a copy, requesting ''her half''. From the looks of your first post, it was for HER wedding, correct? How come you''re stuck holding the tab?

LS

Yes it was for her wedding. I honestly didn''t think it was going to end up that way. I sent her a link where she can look up for car rentals. She send me an email back saying that she was so tired and stressed with all the stuff she had to do and asked if I could reserve it. I said fine and put it in her name. Then she was supposed to pick up the car but called me to ask if I could pick it up instead (it made more sense that way since the rental was 5 minutes north of me and she was 15 minutes south and we were continuing south).

So I mentioned that I put the reservation under my name fully expecting her to ask how much the rental was but she didn''t.

Again, that''s my fault. I''m too much of a coward to say anything.

Ok, now I see how you ended up paying for the car. However this was a trip she planned, to run her errands, and she asked you along to keep her company, so she should have paid for everything (except food), the same way she would have if she went alone as originally planned. It was not a jointly planned vacation where you should split costs. I would just send her an e-mail with a scanned copy of the rental car bill and a simple note letting her know the car cost X and could she please drop you a check because you have to pay the credit card bill. Just act casual about it like of course she planned to reimburse you. You picked up the car to save her time and because it made sense geographically -- that was not an agreement on your part to pay for it, so don''t act like it was.

Sleeping in the car is a whole different issue. I usually try to stay awake to keep the driver awake, but sometimes I am so exhausted I doze. I would never tell the driver to turn down the music she is using to try to stay awake/entertained if I am not helping her do that! You should have said something. Sounds like someone is trying to play princess bride.

 

[monarch64]

I never fall asleep on road trips because I''m usually driving...but that may have a lot to due with the fact that I am a terrible passenger--I hate feeling like I''m not in control and there are very few people I actually feel somewhat comfortable riding with!

As far as your situation, fieryred, I do think your friend is pretty rude, not only for not staying awake to keep you company, but for the rest of her actions as well.

 

[Sabine]

I read your post over in BWW, and I still can''t believe how rude your friend is! If I were you, I would totally ask her to pay for at least half the rental car and gas!

As for sleeping, if it was that kind of car trip, yes, I would try my hardest to stay awake, and if it was a friend, I would probably put together some sort of cd/ipod playlist that we could rock out to for fun!

However, DH and I drive to visit our parents (about 4 hours) very often, and since it''s a familiar trip and we already spend lots of time talking, if one of us is tired, the other usually drives so they can feel free to nap. However, I would never ask a driver not to play music, since I know that really keeps me awake when I''m sleepy!

If the trip is not a familiar one, I would definitely expect the co-traveler to help navigate!

 

[Octavia]

I generally try to stay awake when I''m travelling with friends, not necessarily with family. This past weekend, though, I was on a road trip with two other friends, one of whom was the driver. I was catching a cold and felt awful, so I let our other friend sit shotgun and dozed off in the backseat. I felt kind of rude (and both of us passengers even chipped in for tolls, gas, and parking!) but I couldn''t help it.

I think that you can still ask your friend for a contribution for the expenses though -- present it as though you were trying to be fair and have just added up the exact costs. Really, she should have paid for it all, but something is better than nothing.

 

[kittybean]

Fiery, sorry to hear about your miserable experience with your "best friend." I have kept up with your trials and tribulations with her, and I can''t believe how she treats you. I''m counting down the days ''til her wedding is over for you!

To answer your question, I sometimes fall asleep when with FI. He doesn''t mind too much when I do, but if he needs someone to help him stay awake/alert, he has no problem telling me that, at which point I will do my best to sing songs, play games, and entertain him .

When I''m with a friend, I always stay awake with them. If there are a bunch of people, I don''t feel too bad snoozing in the back seat, but it''s a given that the front seat passenger stays awake with the driver.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Your friend was unbelievably rude and I wouldn''t let her just get away with not paying for anything. In fact, she should be paying for all of it since it was HER trip to begin with.

Oh, and FWIW, even during long 8 hour road trips, I''ve never fallen asleep. My kids always do which is nice.

 

[Tuckins1]

No, I cannot sleep in the car, no matter how long the ride.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I'd be much angrier about my friend not paying or offering to drive than about her falling asleep. Admittedly, there's something about the beltway around DC that lulls me to sleep when DH is driving, but I have been offering to drive a lot more. The last trip, I drove 3 hours and he drove 2.

How did it happen that you got stuck with the bill? Did she slip out to the bathroom just as they were asking for a credit card? And what about you driving all the time . . . ??? I'm wondering how she got you to do these things without having a conversation about it first.

She sounds like a self-centered person. She's probably stressed and tired and feels like you're supposed to be there as a friend (or bridesmaid?). That doesn't excuse it, but people can generally only take as much advantage of us as we let them.

P.S. OK, I read your explanation . . . makes a little more sense. It reminds me of when we were in Paris this summer and met a woman who invited us to dinner. When the bill came, DH got out our card to pay for our share and she said, "Oh, I don't have to pay anything? Thank you!" DH is normally the good cop, but even he knew she was expecting too much and said, no, actually, she could give us cash for her share. And then she waited 20 minutes and when we got up to go, she went to the bathroom instead! I don't know if she ever would have paid for her share if I hadn't followed her to the bathroom, hee hee. I mean, really, it was the principle of it. She invited us, and we had vetoed one restaurant as being too pricey, so she shouldn't have thought we were made of money. And she's from one state over from us, so it's not like we just have different societal norms. Yeesh.

 

[oobiecoo]

If its just Hubby and I driving, then I stay awake until I can''t help it. I hate sleeping when others are driving because I''m a really nervous passenger... but if I really need to sleep then I ask hubby if he''s ok if I take a nap. If he''s tired at all then I stay awake to talk to him.

If I were with a group of people in a car then I don''t mind if some of them sleep as long as one person is awake to talk or MAYBE if I can listen to the radio loudly to help me stay awake and give me something to do.

I wouldn''t sleep if I were the only passenger with a friend driving. It bothers me when people do. My best(ish) friend always reads on our road trips and it drives me crazy. To me, that is supposed to be catch-up time to gossip and talk about our lives... not time for you to do your own thing while I drive you around.

Your friend really needs to offer to pay for the rental or at least gas or something. I''d just tell her "hey the car rental showed up on my credit card and I was wondering when you''d be able to pay me back" or something.

 

[swingirl]

I don''t think it''s too late to tell her how much the expenses added up to. She should offer to at least pay half is not all. The sleeping thing--well, I certainly would not have turned down the radio for her. I would have said it was necessary to keep me awake.

 

[iheartscience]

FIERY! STOP BEING SO NICE!

Sorry for yelling, but come on girl! You can''t let yourself be used like this! E-mail her (total easy way out) and say she owes you X for the rental car and gas and you''ll come by and pick up the check tomorrow. This is seriously INSANE!

And no, I don''t usually fall asleep on a road trip when I''m the passenger.

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 9/29/2008 7:40:12 PM
Author: thing2of2
FIERY! STOP BEING SO NICE!

Sorry for yelling, but come on girl! You can''t let yourself be used like this! E-mail her (total easy way out) and say she owes you X for the rental car and gas and you''ll come by and pick up the check tomorrow. This is seriously INSANE!

And no, I don''t usually fall asleep on a road trip when I''m the passenger.

BIG DITTO.

I think you''d be far less irritated at her falling asleep if you hadn''t footed the bill. So put on your big girl panties and submit your bill to her for payment.

LS

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 9/29/2008 1:53:31 PM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 9/29/2008 1:35:51 PM
Author: jewelerman
Why were you expected to pay for her trip and why did you pay?You were an invited guest and she should have paid for car and gas...as a guest she should have drove first and BEFORE leaving asked if you could take turns driving.Your silence was your approval that you didnt mind driving the whole time....you should have planned a driving schedule before you left or just pulled over and said...your turn to drive.Its a hard lesson when friends use us for time or money...but you let yourself be used by not standing up for yourself when you were paying for that car...then the gas... and you drove the whole distance without a complaint...chalk it up to a learning experiance,demand equality from your friends in the future and get rid of friends that expect you to pay for their travel expences and be their on call driver.

That''s why I said a few posts down that the whole driving/paying for the rental/gas was my fault for not standing up for myself.

I was just wondering if people also fall asleep when they''re passengers on a road trip since I wouldn''t do this and didn''t know if it was just me.

didnt see your second post..re-read my earlier post and I was a little harsh on you...sorry for that...but i do agree that this friend needs to pay up...it will be interesting to see how she responds to your requests for payment....let us know what happens....

 

[diamondfan]

She was rude, but how dare her expect you to drive and pay when you were helping her? OOOHHHH that would make me mad.