If your pets went to therapy, what would they say about you?

[YadaYadaYada]

I swear if my furry friends could go to therapy they would have lots to say. An example, we have a tortoiseshell cat named Carly, every time I see her I say "It's a kitty!" in this annoying excited voice. DH jokingly remarks if she didn't know what she was she certainly does now. Another bad habit, you know how cute cats look when they are curled up? Well to me that is the perfect time to give them a big squishy hug. Imagine you're sleeping and someone wakes you up with this...could be worse ways I guess.

The dogs don't get it as bad although we have a big black dog named Merlin that I love to roughhouse with. The other animals get random butt scratches, especially the Sheltie because she has a big fluffy butt.

Time to fess up, are you dressing your dog up and pushing him around in a stroller? Do you speak in a baby voice and call your pets while at work? Would your pets have a lot to say in therapy?

 

[Calliecake]

Funny thread Steph!

My sweet baby would definitely say I have my mom wrapped around my little finger and I run the show around my house. My mom and dad both spoil me rotten. I've heard adults say when they die they want to come back to earth as me. I've never seen my mom cook dinner but If my tummy hurts she is at the stove making me chicken and rice. Everyone laughs about how spoiled I am, the vet, my cousins, friends, pretty much everyone. I have a favorite toy that I destroy about once a month or so. What other mom is going to buy 24 of favorite dragon toys and put them away so I always have my favorite one? I only like the like the pink dragon, no blue dragons for me. Oh and dad bought me a diamond collar (okay it's rhinestones) because he said I need to have bling like mommy. Yeah, I've got a pretty great life.

 

[PintoBean]

Stupid...lazy...human...slave...needs...more...training...

 

[whitewave]

"she thinks we're her late in life babies"

 

[ecf8503]

Stupid...lazy...human...slave...needs...more...training...

OMG so true!

 

[Austina]

My Princess will tell you that her Dad used to hold up her blingy collars and ask what 'necklace' she'd like to wear that day

 

[msop04]

I'm not sure what my cats would say about me, but I'm quite certain Punkin would roll his eyes a lot and have a British accent like an annoyed old man (he's 17 yo). Peanut (she's 10 yo) would have a higher pitched voice and be very excitable in her speech. #ineedtherapy

 

[msop04]

Just to give ya'll a visual...
Punkin


Peanut

 

[msop04]

I love this thread, BTW!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

"That old hag loves jewelry more than she loves me. I'm gonna pee on her Hermes bags."

 

[yennyfire]

"That old hag loves jewelry more than she loves me. I'm gonna pee on her Hermes bags."

This. The things our dog could tell you! I'm terrified! She is definitely spoiled rotten, though she does tolerate a lot from our 10 year old DD. My husband teases me that she has so many nicknames, she probably doesn't even know what her name is!

 

[tyty333]

My cat would probably say why cant you call me by my given name...why do I have to be called Boo Boo Butz, Boo-ba-Roo, Boo-ba-Roni or
Boo-ba-Rooba-butt??? He would probably add that I should hear the names he calls me!

Funny thread!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

This is some much needed comic relief, I love all of these especially the pictures. Too funny.

 

[Hayley87]

Mo (7 years old) is a sneaky-smart, super pushy Lynx Point Siamese. He was born feral (we adopted him at a couple weeks old when a hawk carried off his mom ), and it shows in his attitude. If he could speak, it would be a snarky, laconic, food-focused quip: "My humans are defective. I don't get salmon nearly as much as I should."



(We had a last-minute cancellation last Thanksgiving, and Mo took over her place setting when we moved it to the sideboard He stared at us like that for the entire meal.)

Millie (5 years old) is like the drunk girls you run into in the bathroom at a club: totally cute, super affectionate, a little scatterbrained...and really dumb Bless her heart. If she could speak, it would be sweet vapidity: "Haha, what? Oh, my parents? OMG, they're SO sweet. I LOVE them! Mom lets me sleep on her feet at night, and it's, like, THE best! Thank you for asking!!! OMIGOD IS THAT A TOY???!!!"

 

[Gussie]

I don't think my lab has very deep thoughts, lol. I can see him in a therapists office, "so let's get down to business. You got any treats like the vet gives me when he rams the thermometer up my butt?"

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Mo (7 years old) is a sneaky-smart, super pushy Lynx Point Siamese. He was born feral (we adopted him at a couple weeks old when a hawk carried off his mom ), and it shows in his attitude. If he could speak, it would be a snarky, laconic, food-focused quip: "My humans are defective. I don't get salmon nearly as much as I should."



(We had a last-minute cancellation last Thanksgiving, and Mo took over her place setting when we moved it to the sideboard He stared at us like that for the entire meal.)

Millie (5 years old) is like the drunk girls you run into in the bathroom at a club: totally cute, super affectionate, a little scatterbrained...and really dumb Bless her heart. If she could speak, it would be sweet vapidity: "Haha, what? Oh, my parents? OMG, they're SO sweet. I LOVE them! Mom lets me sleep on her feet at night, and it's, like, THE best! Thank you for asking!!! OMIGOD IS THAT A TOY???!!!"

I am lying in bed reading this and Ceg's post about the lab to my husband and we are literally laughing out loud

 

[Missy]

That's easy. My kitties in therapy. Purrrrrrr purrrrrrrr purrrrrrr
That's it. No deep thoughts from our fur babies. They may not be smart but at least they're purrrrrrrrrrrrrrty.



OK I exaggerate their lack of brain cells. HRH would say why don't I have a diamond tiara. I'm a princess I deserve a diamond tiara! Harrrrrruuuumphhhh!

 

[madelise]

"When will this bitch stop dressing me in pink and diamonds?! I'm a f'ing BOY! Woof!"


Whatever, princess.

 

[Scandinavian]

I'm a queen. Please move. I'm sure that bed is mine. Why are you in my bed? My sofa? Please cuddle me. I need cuddles. Let's go for a walk. Did you not hear me?? I want to go for a walk now! No leash, please. That's a good human. No thank you. No food. I want to be skinny. Oh OK, but only if you hand feed me. I don't eat from the floor or a plate on the floor. Could you pull out a chair for me? I much prefer to eat my treats at the table.

--- In other words --- the character of Queen Elisabeth I in Blackadder...

 

[Hayley87]

--- In other words --- the character of Queen Elisabeth I in Blackadder...

LOVE Blackadder! I haven't thought of that show in a while, but now I want to go back and watch it

 

[freezing_in_MO]

This is the best thread ever! Reading it is therapy for me

 

[Calliecake]

I'm a queen. Please move. I'm sure that bed is mine. Why are you in my bed? My sofa? Please cuddle me. I need cuddles. Let's go for a walk. Did you not hear me?? I want to go for a walk now! No leash, please. That's a good human. No thank you. No food. I want to be skinny. Oh OK, but only if you hand feed me. I don't eat from the floor or a plate on the floor. Could you pull out a chair for me? I much prefer to eat my treats at the table.

--- In other words --- the character of Queen Elisabeth I in Blackadder...

Scandi, This is hysterical!!!! MIne baby would add "Wait a minute, are you eating something???? You actually went to kitchen and didn't bring me something back. MOM, where is my treat??? Thank you for the treat mom"

 

[caf]

My 3 dogs and 2 cats would say:

We need more treats.
Why does our mom go into the garage and stay in there for hours?

 

[AGBF]

Our late dog, Griffin, had no need for a therapist. He would walk over to the counter where we kept his treats (which we called "the altar", because he would pray there). If he didn't get what he wanted within a certain amount of time, he would start to bark. He had a very low, loud bark since he was so huge. We usually gave in at some point (although often we gave him ice cubes so that he didn't become obese). Since he was able to speak his mind and get everything he wanted, he didn't need therapy. He was well-adjusted. We did his bidding. A great arrangement.

Deb

 

[Calliecake]

Griffin was a big sweetheart Deb.

 

[Scandinavian]

Scandi, This is hysterical!!!! MIne baby would add "Wait a minute, are you eating something???? You actually went to kitchen and didn't bring me something back. MOM, where is my treat??? Thank you for the treat mom"

Our vet even calls her "The Queen"

 

[LLJsmom]

"She's nuts..."

 

[Missy]

This morning they would say -Doc, our mom needs the session way more than we do so please let her take our spot!

 

[AGBF]

I don't think my lab has very deep thoughts, lol. I can see him in a therapists office, "so let's get down to business. You got any treats like the vet gives me when he rams the thermometer up my butt?"

Your lab looks so sweet, ceg. I had The Worst Dog In The World when I had a Lab! He needed therapy terribly badly, only he wasn't a candidate. He was far too mentally ill to have benefited from The Talking Cure. He needed heavy medication like Thorazine and perhaps ECT. Only no one prescribed them, so I had to make do with doggie jail (quarantine) and a bottle of tabasco sauce to put in his mouth to keep him from biting people on my front porch.

 

[dk168]

My cat and dog would probably say I feed them roast chicken as I feel bad about leaving them at home to go out or to go to work.

DK mrgreen: