If your pet could talk...

[Autumnovember]

What would she/he say?

What would his/her voice be like?


I've pondered this many...many times.

 

[Dancing Fire]

he does talk!! sometime way too much and i have to tell him to be quiet

 

[Nashville]

Awwwww, what a sweet bird! He looks like he got caught doing something sneaky

 

[Porridge]

One would say "throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball throw the ball aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh look I got the ball!" He lives for catching that ball.

The other would say "just leave that bag of treats down here, I'll take care of them. No need to tire yourself by rationing them out. Oh for god's sake, I thought I told that bird to stay away from my garden! EFF OFF BIRD! GO ON, SHOO!!"

ETA Kenny I'm not talking about your cute little feathered friend, I'm referring to the birds nesting on my roof that are driving my poor jack russell demented.

 

[Autumnovember]

he does talk!! sometime way too much and i have to tell him to be quiet

Too cute! SO used to have a black palm cockatoo. I want a bird again!

 

[April20]

DH and I constantly verbalize what we think Chester is saying. It usually revolves around how we should feed him chicken and how our world should revolve around HIM. He's always threatening to call Peta on us for not taking him along- saying he's dialed the P, E, T and all he has to do is push the "A" and he'll be rescued, but we came home juuuuuuust in time.

 

[Autumnovember]

DH and I constantly verbalize what we think Chester is saying. It usually revolves around how we should feed him chicken and how our world should revolve around HIM. He's always threatening to call Peta on us for not taking him along- saying he's dialed the P, E, T and all he has to do is push the "A" and he'll be rescued, but we came home juuuuuuust in time.

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. LOVE THAT!!!! You just made me smile so big!!!!!

 

[yssie]

he does talk!! sometime way too much and i have to tell him to be quiet

Nice, DF



I don't think one of our cats could talk even if she had the vocal capacity, the intellect to learn something like that is just not there The second would probably remain silent by choice, except for the occasional yowls of "treat!" and "open the darn door!", and the third... who knows?

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Pearls would sound exactly like Karen Walker from WIll and Grace. Exactly.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

I'm not sure what he would say, but Max would sound like Puddy from Seinfeld.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

BF and I have given each of the animals a back-story. And we frequently speak in each of their voices and give them commentary. It's really quite insane.

My dog is a little girl that loves pink. She is very naive and sweet.

My male cat speaks with a Spanish accent. (When he was a kitten, his meows sounded like he was rolling his R's as if he was speaking Spanish.) He thinks he is a suave ladies' man, but really he is just a nutcase.

My female cat has an alleged successful modeling career and is above everyone else, especially the dog. If she used shampoo, it would be imported from Italy. (Despite the fact she is quite overweight. But don't tell her I said that.)

ETA: Sorry, I was distracted by TRYING to not sound like a crazy pet owner. It probably didn't work. To appropriately answer the question, my animals don't really have specific voices, but anything and everything they would say goes along with their personas.

 

[kenny]

Our dog Yaya would say, "Is there any chicken left?"

Kizzy would say, "Do you think you could come over here and scratch my tummy?"

Puppy, our parrot would say, "I'm lonely, come rub my neck."

 

[Autumnovember]

BF and I have given each of the animals a back-story. And we frequently speak in each of their voices and give them commentary. It's really quite insane.

My dog is a little girl that loves pink. She is very naive and sweet.

My male cat speaks with a Spanish accent. (When he was a kitten, his meows sounded like he was rolling his R's as if he was speaking Spanish.) He thinks he is a suave ladies' man, but really he is just a nutcase.

My female cat has an alleged successful modeling career and is above everyone else, especially the dog. If she used shampoo, it would be imported from Italy. (Despite the fact she is quite overweight. But don't tell her I said that.)

ETA: Sorry, I was distracted by TRYING to not sound like a crazy pet owner. It probably didn't work. To appropriately answer the question, my animals don't really have specific voices, but anything and everything they would say goes along with their personas.

OMG LOLOOLOL..LOVE THIS TOO!!! I love seeing how people get so into their pets its so funny

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

My pets make life more interesting. Especially when I treat them like people.

 

[Arkteia]

My cat would say, "being a woman is difficult, isn't it?"

I swear that when she rubs against my leg, we both experience this bond of sisterhood.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

"Get me my food and be gone."

 

[davi_el_mejor]

BF and I have given each of the animals a back-story. And we frequently speak in each of their voices and give them commentary. It's really quite insane.

My dog is a little girl that loves pink. She is very naive and sweet.

My male cat speaks with a Spanish accent. (When he was a kitten, his meows sounded like he was rolling his R's as if he was speaking Spanish.) He thinks he is a suave ladies' man, but really he is just a nutcase.

My female cat has an alleged successful modeling career and is above everyone else, especially the dog. If she used shampoo, it would be imported from Italy. (Despite the fact she is quite overweight. But don't tell her I said that.)

ETA: Sorry, I was distracted by TRYING to not sound like a crazy pet owner. It probably didn't work. To appropriately answer the question, my animals don't really have specific voices, but anything and everything they would say goes along with their personas.

Chloe, Don't worry, you're not alone, we do this too.


Mia sounds like Ed from Ed, Edd and Eddy. She's a very simple dog with simple thoughts. Especially when it comes to squirrels, cats and toys. But sometimes, she lays a bit of wisdom on us all that really makes you think the simple is just a front. Then, she goes and stares out the window and stares down a cat half a block away, and then slips off the back of the couch. You then realize that gem of wisdom was merely a fluke.

Neena is a dirty mouthed alcoholic. Always demanding vodka, treats and belly rubs. She threatens to poop on your pillow if two out of her three demands aren't met. She has a vocabulary that only a sailor could imbue upon her. It's a good thing she's cute otherwise we wouldn't tolerate such crassness.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

DH have assigned our dogs voices and personalities as well. We talk to them all the time. Sometimes I'll have a 10-minute conversation between our two dogs when I'm home alone.

Byron's voice is low and a bit dopey. He pluralizes everything (i.e. "Gives me a cookies!"). He's also very insulting, demanding and is constantly annoyed by Bo.

Bo's voice is high pitched and he never says anything mean. Everything makes Bo happy, even with Byron insults him.

ETA: DEM, I just read that Neena threatens to poop on your pillow, which is hilarious because Byron always claims he'll poop in our shoes if we don't give him a cookie.

 

[dragonfly411]

I've done this with animals my whole life.

Sasha - she is a total diva, and lets everyone else know it. I think voice wise she'd sound like Koda from Brother Bear. She's consistently asking us when she's going to have some of our dinner, or will just eat her own with us. She demands petting, and will push you around until she gets it. She is the first out of the door... always... or you're dead meat.

Scout - Chuckie from Rugrats through and through. He is scared of everything. He looks at you with "what next" looks.

My oldest horse would sound something like eeyore. He's more of a grouch though.

My younger horse is like Michelangelo from the Ninja turtles. A total dude.

 

[JewelFreak]

"A total dude." Love that, Dragonfly.

Buck, my good buddy Siberian Husky, says the same thing every night before bedtime: "Look at how cute I am. You can't resist giving me a treat, right?"

But Charlie, his housemate, has other priorities. "PLAY WITH ME NOW! PLAY WITH ME NOW! PLAY WITH ME NOW! Oh, (#**)$@*$^#@ these humans are SO hard to train!" Can you guess which one is in the picture?

--- Laurie

 

[Callisto]

I'm pretty sure my cat has some weird mental things going on as she is constantly afraid of everything and will randomly freak out as if she shes monsters that don't exist. So her conversations would probably be something like:

"what's that... who's there.... what was that noise.... what are you doing... AHHHHHHHHH"

 

[cnspotts]

The daily Zoo Chatter

CAT: Hey, cool while you're there could ya FEED ME again!

Dog 1: So we're keeping the little jerk? (about dog 2)

Dog 2: Hey, cool this is way better than where I used to live, can I sleep with you again? huh?

Top Lizard: Can ya let me outta here? I liked it better when I lived alone.

Other lizards: Why is she so grouchy all the time?

snakes 1,2,3 : How about a rat pal?

Fish: Oh man! why walk by when you can stop and feed us?

 

[stepcutgirl]

Hmm, well Fred would definitely sound and speak exactly like the dog who found the old mand and the kid on the Disney Movie, UP.

Petey, would be more of the Mom, mom, mommy, mom, STC, hello, over here, mom, mom, mommy, mom. Me:What?! Pete: Hello!

Here they both are snoozing. Fred-bigger red dog. Pete-the blond.

 

[radiantquest]

I believe that my oldest Pete has a voice very similar to Larry the Cable Guy. He is loafy and lazy, but laid back. I have recently noticed that if someone else is in the litter box he will just go poo in the yard. He also farts all the time. He is very large and heavy so anytime you pick him up he farts. He can drive you out of the house with his stink

Kitty is just like that commercial for Family Guy. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mommy, Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Here I am! That hand is not busy. It should be petting me. If you hide your hands she wont bother you as much. She doesnt know that you still have hands and they are just hiding. Even typing is not enough busy work for my hands and I should be petting and typing.

Bubbies, my youngest. She has a baby voice and is very hyper. She is another one with the Whats that? Where did it go? Its my tail. Got to kill it anyway. Ooh whats that? (her shadow BTW)I have to attack it. Oh a wall. It needs killing also.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

LMAO! I am loving these animal voices (and am happy to know I'm not the only person who does this!)

Zoey's voice is a high-pitched and southern belle-like. Probably 1/5th of whatever I say on any given weekend is in her voice Now my husband does it, as well as my older sister and my parents. Whenever we talk about Zoey, we use the Z-Voice.

She has a few key phrases, and most start with, "Hi, my name is Zoey..." ex: "Hi, my name is Zoey and I'm a bona fide bunny bully."

Zoey also tries to convince us to give her people food and snuggle with her on our bed. Of course, I'm silly/crazy for putting human words in her mouth, but her body language makes it VERY clear what she's trying to do

 

[dragonfly411]

I had to come back for more.

To emphasize the dude... imagine the Michelangelo voice

"hey man, oh wait... hey chick, what's that you got in my stall..(muck rake), here dude lemme help out. Righteous I got my mouth around it"

"hey dude, come play with me, think you can spray me with the hose a little more? Awesome"



Our girl dog Sasha also thinks she is big and bad (she's a yorkie mix). If she hears a noise (car door, or knocking or something) she'll start growling her little dog growl... and ruffing. "Who's there... goooooooooo away. Git!"

 

[NewEnglandLady]

PnPsMom, I had to laugh about Zoey introducing herself. We do that all the time. Both of our dogs generally greet people by sticking their head in people's crotches. For some reason saying "His, I'm Byrons!" or "Hello, I'm Bosun!" makes it extra funny when the people are backing up trying to avoid a huge dog head in the crotch. I'm seriously laughing about it at my desk now. I'm a terrible dog owner to think this is funny.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

As far as what their voices would sound like, I think lots of cats would sound like Joe Pesci most of the time.
Cats of Siamese extraction would sound like Carol Channing.
Persians would sound like Earth Kitt.
A male cat looking for some quality time would want to sound like Frank Sinatra but would still sound like Joe Pesci.

 

[LGK]

Boy do I wonder what's been going through the Rat's brain lately. (He isn't really a rodent, he's a 14 year old cat.) This morning apparently it was "Hmmm. LGK is yummy today. I must follow her everywhere and lick her, especially while she's doing her makeup for work. That'll be fun! Please cuddle me, I will lick you until you capitulate."

The licking fetish has appeared suddenly- I guess it would worry me but he's always developing weird habits all of a sudden. Like earlier this year it was a sudden intense fixation with my hair. He wants to sit on my lap and play with it, get his paws all wrapped up in it and literally dig in it, and if it's tangly (it's curly so it tangles easy) he loooooves that and will yank on a tangle hard. Over and over. And he'll stalk my hair too- wait until I'm sitting and then pester me incessantly to play with it. He's such a weirdo.

But yes. The licking. It is very silly, he gets this cow-eyed apologetic look and will just dab you with the end of his tongue, like he's all embarassed about it. But it doesn't stop him, he'll just creep up next to you and lick you anywhere- my arm was apparently very tasty today for example. And then give you the wide doofy eyes.

 

[davi_el_mejor]

As far as what their voices would sound like, I think lots of cats would sound like Joe Pesci most of the time.
Cats of Siamese extraction would sound like Carol Channing.
Persians would sound like Earth Kitt.
A male cat looking for some quality time would want to sound like Frank Sinatra but would still sound like Joe Pesci.

BWAHAHAHA

I can just imagine any Siamese asking for "raaazzhberries"