If you were planning on having kids...

[Arkteia]

I've read that physically (for both the parents and the kids) the optimum age for reproduction is the teenage years.
But obviously for many reasons, financial security, maturity, etc. the parents should be as older but before the odds of complications, and birth defects, lower quality egg and sperm, and age-related low energy rises too high.

... overall ... perhaps 25 - 30.

Not teenage years.
https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/22/6/1730/609127

We all know that the risk of Down syndrome increases with maternal age, but few realize that it is also higher in teenage pregnancies.

I would say, biologically, younger adults, 21-25 are the the best age for pregnancy. But given that millennials marry later and women are career-oriented, the best thing would be to postpone unless women are comfortable in careers and relationships. I think cryopreserving eggs from younger age (21-25) is the way the world will be going. I only wish the procedure were cheaper. And available when I was young.

(I had my first before 30, but one thing that was very good in the Soviet Union was very long maternity leave. I can't imagine how women manage to do it here without quitting their jobs).

 

[acaw2015]

I think 25 is a good age to have children physically and mentally, but around 30 is more realistic today for reasons related to career, money and education. I had my first child at 29 and my twins will be born when I am 32 or 33. My parents had their children at 24-28 and 25-30.
That being said, life is too complicated to be able to simply state one "best age". Has the person found the right partner and is he/she in a really stable relationship; is the couple/the person able to conceive; are they/he/she in the right stage in life, etc etc. I would say different ages depending on the situation.

 

[Dancing Fire]

That being said, life is too complicated to be able to simply state one "best age". Has the person found the right partner and is he/she in a really stable relationship; is the couple/the person able to conceive; are they/he/she in the right stage in life, etc etc. I would say different ages depending on the situation.

That can be a problem for some women over 30.

 

[acaw2015]

That can be a problem for some women over 30.

I have friends who had difficulties getting pregnant in their twenties. Sometimes it doesnt have anything to do with age. Even if the odds are with you doesnt mean that it will be easy *for you*. I read that women aged 30-35 are as able as 25year olds to get pregnant. Studies saying otherwise are very old and unreliable. Age starts to become an issue biologically over 40. I have a friend who got pregnant at 44, so even if the odds are against you....

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I thought I would have three kids by 30. I have one in my late 30s. I think having children is difficult to plan and there is probably never a “right” age.

 

[msop04]

That can be a problem for some women over 30.

My OB/GYN mentioned that, in his experience (in this day and time), 28-34 is the "best age"... he also said that he has many patients that are having their first child post-40 and doing great, so there ya go... each person is different. He did say, however, that 40 seems to be the "magic age" where women start to experience problems TTC -- but again, each patient is different.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

Since we were in college a long time and married at ages 30 and 35, the early 30’s would have been ideal. But we had multiple fertility issues (apart from our ages) and it was not to be. Sometimes you just can’t plan these things. Fertility drops off rapidly after age 35, and most women won’t conceive naturally after about age 40-42.

I was very sad, but after seeing some of the heartbreaking tragedies my friends have gone through with their kids, I try to remember to count my blessings. God has blessed us with a large cat family and many young people as friends and students. We are still very lucky.

 

[elizabethess]

I was infertile during my 20s and 30s when I would have hoped to have started a family, so when I unexpectedly became pregnant at 39 and had my DS at 40 my plans for the best time to start parenting had quite the overhaul

Now, my husband and I have just started our first IVF cycle, in hopes that my miracle of nature will be able to be joined by a miracle of science. I turn 43 next week, and that seems a fine age to finish to me

My initial plan? No... but life indeed has a way of upending our 'plans' <3

 

[AprilBaby]

I agree with having your first child by your mid 20s. b/c by the time the child graduate from college the parents will be in their late 40's. Our DD#2 had her first child 2 1/2 month ago at 29 1/2 and our DD #1 who is due any day now will be 31. We wish they have their kids in their mid 20's so that we can spend more time with our grandkids while we are still young.

Congrats gpa! My gkids are 3 and 3 months. I’m loving every minute of it!
My first at 23 and my 4th at 31. We ARE still young!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

This thread is so interesting! I guess my answer would be 25-35 ideally.

We had our first two at 26 and 29. Then we adopted a baby girl from China at 40! (We started the adoption process at 38, but first adoption fell through in another country and then we had to start over in China.) So we now have two kids in their early 30's and one at 22 who is a senior in college. I think how free we would have been had we stopped after the first two, but the last one has been such a joy that I have zero regrets! The older daughter is married and has two little girls that she had at 26 and 28.5, I think. Late 20's are a good age for those who marry by 25, I think. But I was so much more easygoing with the baby I had at 40! As others have said, there is no true ideal time because so much depends on the circumstances!

 

[Queenie60]

had my first at 32 and second at 36, not by choice, began trying at 27 and after several medical treatments we were blessed with two. We had planned to have 4 by the time I was 33 or so. Sometimes you can't plan and it's in Gods hands.

 

[LJsapphire]

I was 31 when I had my first, and I would have liked another by the time he was 2/3.

Personal circumstances weren't ideal, I paid off debts while I was still working while pregnant and then I was made redundant when I returned to work. Obviously this happened at the same time as the breakdown of the relationship and then the divorce.

Met my DF and he has plans for the future on a strict timeline. I still live in the house I bought with my ex (but it's mine now), and he wants to buy our own house together, then get married. But now we are both 39 and the house move/marriage should happen in 2018/2019 - and he doesn't want to be in his 50s with a teenager. Part of me is disappointed but part of me doesn't want to go through pregnancy again, and I am happy with the comfortable lifestyle we have now. We would have to make compromises for another baby.

 

[Austina]

As someone else who has one child through circumstances, I have to say, it’s great.

We were able to give him the best of everything, private school, no university debt, and travel well. So in hindsight, much as we’d have liked another child, we wouldn’t have been able to do as much for more children.

I have a friend who finally managed to have a child when she was 44 (her husband was older), she’s heading toward 60 with a teenager, mine is mid 30’s.

 

[MarionC]

Austina, having my DD become a teenager when I was 50 almost killed me LOL
Your friend is going to need a lot of support!

 

[LJsapphire]

As someone else who has one child through circumstances, I have to say, it’s great.

We were able to give him the best of everything, private school, no university debt, and travel well. So in hindsight, much as we’d have liked another child, we wouldn’t have been able to do as much for more children.

That is my partner's vision for the future Probably can't manage a private school but we're aiming to move to an area with better state schools (I live in a city now and want to be nearer the countryside as well).

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Austina, having my DD become a teenager when I was 50 almost killed me LOL
Your friend is going to need a lot of support!

Are teens as bad as people say they are?

Hubby and I loved the stage from 2yrs onwards and we ESPECIALLY love the current stage (recently turned 5yo). They are old enough to have reasonable self control but they love you so much, are so happy about everything and want lots of cuddles! Haha Hubby reckons this is as good as it gets and it's going to be all downhill the older they get!

 

[Austina]

Depends @mellowyellowgirl . I think we got off lightly, no problems with school, drink, drugs, smoking, but others are not so lucky. Let’s just say they like to push the boundaries, and teenage hormones can be difficult.

 

[MarionC]

Mellowyellowgirl,
My child is a dangerous blend of very creative thinking, intelligence, risk taking; highly independent and opinionated who believes you make your own reality and consequences be damned.
A real challenge, and she was like this from a very early age.
She never had more than a passing interest in drugs or alcohol for which I am eternally grateful, and she has grown into an amazing, successful woman.
So she may have been more problematic than some, but I am assuming they all go through some challenging stage that will bang up the parental brain a bit and cause early grey hairs!

 

[Elizabeth35]

Teens are time-consuming in a different way than younger children.
I enjoy them---they can be emotional, idealistic, profane, infuriating and hilarious.
They challenge your thinking of the world and keep you young in many ways.
But---it is a new set of worries and a different type of sleep deprivation.

I am officially done with last teenagers next week and I am 60.
I would have been done at 50, but remarriage brought 4 new teenager. I have been dealing with teenagers for 17 years now and I'm glad this phase is over.
DH and I can now be a little more selfish and enjoy long trips and time alone with one another after dealing with 6 kids for the first 7 years of marriage.
Although I consider it a blessing to have been able to help with 4 more young people, I would not recommend having kids in mid-late 40's unless you have an extremely high energy level and are in excellent physical condition.