If you had to do it all over again -- Would you have Children?

[diamondseeker2006]

I cannot imagine my life without my children. They have been a huge blessing!

I''ll have to agree with Alj that kids in the same home can have very different experiences. In spite of how you raise them, some kids will fall into the wrong crowd in high school. I think this more often happens with boys, from what I have seen. We''ve been down a dark road with one of ours, while the other was in honors everything and the model child. I think there is an incredible lack of discipline in the home these days, and I see the results of that in the public schools. And in addition, kids see and hear things on TV that I never knew about until I was grown, practically.

So much of the negative letters in the opening post are extremely self-centered. I agree with Musey that people who are that self-centered can do us all a favor and not reproduce! I guess that was not exactly her point, but that is what I think! My guess is that the unhappy people picked up their pens to write, and the happy people were content and did not bother taking the time to write a letter to Ann Landers. In fact, I don''t even read those columns. So I think the 70% number wouldn''t apply to all parents.

We changed our social events to doing things with other families. While there are minor things I''d go back and change (such as schools, perhaps), I would never, ever wish that I did not have children in spite of any heartache that has been part of the package.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 5/30/2009 5:27:28 PM
Author: *Danielle*
I personally do not want to have children, but I doubt that column represents the entire population. A lot of mothers having a hard day probably decided to get it out and sent it without giving it time to process.

Mothers in 1976 (who probably had their kids in the 50's and 60's) didn't have a lot of options. Daycare was unheard of, most women didn't work once they had kids, often stayed in bad marriages, many got married pregnant to men they didn't love, had limited birth-control options, and little control over their destiny. It's not surprising so many said they wouldn't do it again. They probably didn't want to do it in the first place. In 1976 there probably were a lot who felt this way.

Today we have so many more options, not having kids being one of them that is acceptable. It takes the heat off of those that don't want kids but for those that do, there seems to be a need to justify ourselves and say, "No really, I like this. I'd do it again."

 

[House Cat]

About a year ago, my local radio station''s morning show discussed a Harvard study that measured the happiness levels of parents vs. childless couples. The study stated that a majority of the couples with children were "morbidly unhappy" as compared to the childless couples. I really wish I could find this study, but after two days of searching, I have come up with nothing. The study made sense. Couples with children have more worries, both physical and financial. They''re more tired. They have less time for one another, less alone time. They have less money. Life with children is more difficult.

I hated the way this radio station portrayed parenthood, because so many people called up and tried to say that parenting is worth all of the stresses. The childless DJ''s wouldn''t hear it.

Well, I DO think it''s worth it. Yes, my life is a whirlwind sometimes with three teens and a very young child. My stepson has had a very rough go and has been "high maintenance" from very early childhood. Do I resent him? NO! I think it is UNFAIR to place certain expectations on anyone, especially your children, and then treat them poorly when they don''t meet those expectations. Unconditional love is the hallmark of any good parent. My feeling is, don''t have children if you aren''t prepared to love them at their very worst!

You also have to come to terms with your own expectations of yourself. I remember being pregnant and having this vision of being the ultimate supermom. Little by little, each one of those expectations were challenged by life and by my children. I had to learn to be flexible. I had to learn that I was a good mom even though I wasn''t cloth diapering, attachment parenting in the most perfect way, my baby wasn''t sleeping through the night until he was 3, i was unshowered, in sweats, not always cooking perfect meals, ...the list goes on...

There are times when my house is so loud and hectic that it would make some want to run screaming. The kids are all wrestling on the ground, the dogs are leaping over them and barking, everyone is yelling, and I stop and look at them. They''re all smiling. That is the moment that I know that I wouldn''t want my chaotic house to be any other way. I love being surrounded by my family. I love loving them. I love the fact that in the future, we''ll have huge holiday dinners. Whatever sacrafices we make now are definitely worth the amount of love that is in our house, during the good times and the bad. No matter what, we all have one another. So, if I had to do it all over again, yes, I would have my children...in a heartbeat.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Not even a question. Being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding things in my life. The stress likely cracked and showed the serious problems in my marriage, but I am forever grateful for that. It got me out, and I have a little prince that makes me smile with his every smile. No question

 

[musey]

Date: 6/1/2009 12:52:43 AM
Author: House Cat
There are times when my house is so loud and hectic that it would make some want to run screaming. The kids are all wrestling on the ground, the dogs are leaping over them and barking, everyone is yelling, and I stop and look at them. They''re all smiling. That is the moment that I know that I wouldn''t want my chaotic house to be any other way. I love being surrounded by my family. I love loving them. I love the fact that in the future, we''ll have huge holiday dinners. Whatever sacrafices we make now are definitely worth the amount of love that is in our house, during the good times and the bad. No matter what, we all have one another. So, if I had to do it all over again, yes, I would have my children...in a heartbeat.

House Cat, I really enjoyed reading your entire post but this section was particularly beautifully written. I admit I got a little misty.

 

[Porridge]

I just can''t imagine what life would be like without children. Not that I have any yet - 6 months away from marriage and a few years away from children. But those that said "no" in that article...what did they want instead? More cars? More expensive houses? More vacations? What good is all that stuff? I mean, sure I want a career and comfort, some nice things (diamonds!

) every now and then. Having a family, to me, just seems like what life is about, sometimes it sucks, usually not. The other stuff is secondary.

And how bad would a child have to be for you to regret it? If I thought any parent didn''t love their child because they were anything less than beautiful, successful pictures of perfection I would say your better off without that parent. Surely troubled teens need that unconditional love all the more.

I agree with the previous views - I would say expectations are selfish.


Ah the naive views of the childless young wife to be...get back to me in 20-25 years

 

[Elmorton]

Housecat - last year, my college gave a writing prompt to students that centered on that same study. According to the article (I think it was from Time?), childless couples have a higher level of happiness, but parents report a higher level of life fulfillment or purpose. I can''t tell you how interesting it was to read the responses coming from teen parents, single parents, 18 year olds, and parents who had returned to college when their children were also entering higher education...but I digress.

The dichotomy of "pleasure" vs. "purpose" was really interesting to me (someone without children). Reading all those student essays really made me ask myself which do I want more? Of course I want both, but my career choice is already something that is purpose over pleasure - so I''m not really surprised that I feel that desire to be a parent. I don''t think it''s wrong for someone to seek pleasure instead, though. The world needs all types of people in it, and without some of those pleasure seekers, we might not have our greatest artwork, inventions, or simply be able to appreciate the world outside of our own household.

In regard to the other issue - I absolutely believe that having children is a complete crapshoot of nature vs. nurture. Both have a pretty heady influence, and while you can (mostly) control one, you simply can''t control the other.

 

[House Cat]

Date: 6/1/2009 1:05:27 PM
Author: musey

Date: 6/1/2009 12:52:43 AM
Author: House Cat
There are times when my house is so loud and hectic that it would make some want to run screaming. The kids are all wrestling on the ground, the dogs are leaping over them and barking, everyone is yelling, and I stop and look at them. They''re all smiling. That is the moment that I know that I wouldn''t want my chaotic house to be any other way. I love being surrounded by my family. I love loving them. I love the fact that in the future, we''ll have huge holiday dinners. Whatever sacrafices we make now are definitely worth the amount of love that is in our house, during the good times and the bad. No matter what, we all have one another. So, if I had to do it all over again, yes, I would have my children...in a heartbeat.

House Cat, I really enjoyed reading your entire post but this section was particularly beautifully written. I admit I got a little misty.

Thanks Musey.

 

[House Cat]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:38:22 AM
Author: Elmorton
Housecat - last year, my college gave a writing prompt to students that centered on that same study. According to the article (I think it was from Time?), childless couples have a higher level of happiness, but parents report a higher level of life fulfillment or purpose. I can''t tell you how interesting it was to read the responses coming from teen parents, single parents, 18 year olds, and parents who had returned to college when their children were also entering higher education...but I digress.

The dichotomy of ''pleasure'' vs. ''purpose'' was really interesting to me (someone without children). Reading all those student essays really made me ask myself which do I want more? Of course I want both, but my career choice is already something that is purpose over pleasure - so I''m not really surprised that I feel that desire to be a parent. I don''t think it''s wrong for someone to seek pleasure instead, though. The world needs all types of people in it, and without some of those pleasure seekers, we might not have our greatest artwork, inventions, or simply be able to appreciate the world outside of our own household.

In regard to the other issue - I absolutely believe that having children is a complete crapshoot of nature vs. nurture. Both have a pretty heady influence, and while you can (mostly) control one, you simply can''t control the other.

Thank you so much for explaining this study more thoroughly. It is apparent that my local radio station was very one sided when presenting this study. They only focused on the unhappiness of parents vs. the happiness of childless couples. There was no mention of fulfillment vs. pleasure.

I''m going to have to get my hands on this article. I''m interested in seeing it for myself.

 

[partgypsy]

I joke with my husband my biggest treasures are my little girl''s chubby thighs, and that my two biggest accomplishments are my two daughters.

That said, while incredibly rewarding and interesting to see my children growing up, has been many times incredibly hard, involving a changed body, sleepless nights, and the lack of time for "me" both selfish time and creation/development of career/personal goals. It can be really frustrating. To be honest sometimes I have felt like a failure because I have not been perfect at juggling it all. I don''t regret it, would not take a single moment back, but at the same time I believe I would have those thoughts, if after all the sacrifices and work my child died of an illness or accident, developed a debilitating disease, or went into a life of crime/drug abuse. It would be heartbreaking and I would prefer to avoid the devastation.

My brother has always been to put it mildly a problem child. There have been many times as a sibling I wished with great fervor that he never were born, so I know where those feelings come from. I just don''t know if I could feel that way about my own children.

 

[nycbkgirl]

Date: 5/30/2009 12:16:28 PM
Author: Jas12
Yes. I would.

but, i can easily see where resentment creeps in. Having kids is a self-sacrifice on many levels. You sacrifice you time, your body, your well being and sanity (at times) your money, your intimacy with your partner and often your hobbies or passions are put on hold or put aside completely. This is something that some parents will never come to terms with. I teeter into resentment on some days or hours but then i remember it was my choice to have a child and life is no longer about me. It can''t be about me. I think that when we start expecting something from our kids--their friendship, their love, their success, their popularity, we run into troubles. Our kids are not here for us. We are here for them. period. they owe us nothing really, we owe them everything. The nice thing about this arrangement is that if we do this mostly right we get secure, loving, respectful children that will bring us joy because we see their happiness.

One of my favorite quotes on parenting actually comes from a starbucks cup. I remember reading it shortly after i had my son and my mom''s friend (mom of 3 kids) said to me, if i can give you some advice it is to not expect your children to *be something* before they are something. A few days later i read this quote:

''Do not kiss your children so that they will kiss you back, but so they will kiss their children, and their children''s children'' --i cut it out and kept it.

that just made me cry!

 

[nycbkgirl]

now ..twins being only 2mos...i may be faced with the thoughts of what may have been had we not had kids...the freedom etc...but when i think of the relationship that i have now with my sister and mother...i pray each day that i will have that with my kids..its the greatest thing in the world to have real genuine best friends.

 

[Lynn B]

Interesting thread.

I am glad we have children; I always wanted children, and I know I would have always felt like I was "missing something" if we hadn't become parents.

BUT, that being said -- this is what I think I have observed through the years, watching my family and other families, both personally and professionally.

First of all, I don't think anyone can truly answer that question honestly (or at least completely) until their children are all grown up. Those baby and toddler days (while exhausting) are IMHO, intoxicatingly, unquestionably wonderful. It's those teen years and older that can really cause parents unspeakable agony and pain.

So I think a lot of people will (understandably) answer that question based on their own experience -- i.e., how their own kids turned out. If your kid(s) turns out fine... healthy, happy, responsible, mature... hey, yeah, it was great and there's probably no regrets. If the kid turns out to be troubled, difficult, maybe selfish, lazy, or worse... having caused his/her parents years of worry, stress and heartache... then those parents may well feel that if they had it to do all over again, they would maybe not have children.

And FWIW, I don't think answering that way would in any way mean that those parents were bad parents, or didn't dearly LOVE the child, in spite of the pain and sadness.

 

[packrat]

Date: 6/1/2009 12:52:43 AM
Author: House Cat
About a year ago, my local radio station's morning show discussed a Harvard study that measured the happiness levels of parents vs. childless couples. The study stated that a majority of the couples with children were 'morbidly unhappy' as compared to the childless couples. I really wish I could find this study, but after two days of searching, I have come up with nothing. The study made sense. Couples with children have more worries, both physical and financial. They're more tired. They have less time for one another, less alone time. They have less money. Life with children is more difficult.


I hated the way this radio station portrayed parenthood, because so many people called up and tried to say that parenting is worth all of the stresses. The childless DJ's wouldn't hear it.


Well, I DO think it's worth it. Yes, my life is a whirlwind sometimes with three teens and a very young child. My stepson has had a very rough go and has been 'high maintenance' from very early childhood. Do I resent him? NO! I think it is UNFAIR to place certain expectations on anyone, especially your children, and then treat them poorly when they don't meet those expectations. Unconditional love is the hallmark of any good parent. My feeling is, don't have children if you aren't prepared to love them at their very worst!


You also have to come to terms with your own expectations of yourself. I remember being pregnant and having this vision of being the ultimate supermom. Little by little, each one of those expectations were challenged by life and by my children. I had to learn to be flexible. I had to learn that I was a good mom even though I wasn't cloth diapering, attachment parenting in the most perfect way, my baby wasn't sleeping through the night until he was 3, i was unshowered, in sweats, not always cooking perfect meals, ...the list goes on...


There are times when my house is so loud and hectic that it would make some want to run screaming. The kids are all wrestling on the ground, the dogs are leaping over them and barking, everyone is yelling, and I stop and look at them. They're all smiling. That is the moment that I know that I wouldn't want my chaotic house to be any other way. I love being surrounded by my family. I love loving them. I love the fact that in the future, we'll have huge holiday dinners. Whatever sacrafices we make now are definitely worth the amount of love that is in our house, during the good times and the bad. No matter what, we all have one another. So, if I had to do it all over again, yes, I would have my children...in a heartbeat.

*sniffle* very well said Housecat!

ETA: Reminds me of the part in Mrs. Doubtfire where they're in court and Robin Williams is talking about *needing* to be with his kids.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

In our child development course, they stressed that the biggest factor that they think contributes to a child becoming "difficult" is a failure of fit, a disconnect between the abilities and temperament that they were born with, and what the demands of the environment (i.e. parents) are.

 

[Steel]

I opened this thread hopng it would be the holy grail and provide all the answers. A crystal ball if you will.

But nope. I am still at a loss. So bottom line do kids ruin your life or not? Because I hear they are non-returnable.

 

[partgypsy]

Date: 6/7/2009 10:27:36 AM
Author: Steel
I opened this thread hopng it would be the holy grail and provide all the answers. A crystal ball if you will.

But nope. I am still at a loss. So bottom line do kids ruin your life or not? Because I hear they are non-returnable.

LOL!


I think if you are going to do it, just do it 100%. Once you make that decision, love them unconditionally, with no turning or looking back.


I guess this post made me feel sad when I read it. When I told my husband about this poll and the results he said something to the effect "I guess I''m in the other 30%. Americans are psychotic." It makes me wonder it they did this poll in other countries what the results would be.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I would be shocked if most moms said they regretted having children. I know I am VERY inexperienced and have only been a mom for 19 months but she is the best thing I have ever done. Of course I have my bad days, stress, war wounds, even break downs but one smile, one hug, one kiss, one "mama" and nothing else matters. It doesn''t matter I have mashed food on my jeans, or haven''t showered, can''t go to the bathroom alone, or basically have no control over my life anymore. I know that even though I will always love her there will be days I won''t like her. I am sure she will hate me. Cause me to worry and stress by just being a normal kid/teen but I am confidant that we will get through any stage. I don''t think I could EVER regret having her. She makes my life happier, richer, sillier and fuller. She is my everything.

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/7/2009 10:27:36 AM
Author: Steel
I opened this thread hopng it would be the holy grail and provide all the answers. A crystal ball if you will.


But nope. I am still at a loss. So bottom line do kids ruin your life or not? Because I hear they are non-returnable.

I was wondering something similar about a year ago. Maybe that thread will help. Do you like being a mom?

 

[luv2sparkle]

As the mom of 5, most 20 and over, (one almost 13). I never regretted having them before they turned 13. I loved every minute of it. i can hardly look at photos or videos of those days because they were so sweet it breaks my heart. All have been precious beyond belief. After 13, however, my first three have just
about killed us. I have been a SAHM for most of their lives, and I would say we did all the right things. My husband and I have often asked ourselves if there
is anything we would have done differently, and truthfully, we cant come up with much.

Our first three have made choices that we had taught them were harmful, wrong or just dangerous from the time they were toddlers. We talked and modeled these
things always. We have dealt with police and emergency rooms, rehab and serious brain injury. We have loved them and prayed for them and been on their side
in their corner and on their team. We have put them first in every decision, and done without much for ourselves. We havent given them everything but made
them earn much by working for it. We have had serious car accidents and DUI''s. I have home-schooled, public schooled and private schooled.

I would be a big fat liar, if I ever said we hadn''t had moments when we wished we had never got into this parenting thing. Okay, a lot of moments. But, life wouldnt have been the same, and it wouldnt necessarily been better either. More self-centered for sure, but I am not sure that is a good thing. There is enough
selfish people in the world (not only folks or all folks who are childless), but maybe having kids kept me from becoming one. I guess I will never truly know.

I pray they all come out the other side. I see glimpses of promise, I am hopeful. I trust the God who holds their future in His hands. Only so much is up to me.
I am confident I have done my part. I have no regrets about that. I have given my all.

I can take the blame for all the positive, but then I must take the blame for all the negative. Somewhere in there I have to make peace and find the balance. That
is the tough part.

Number 4 gets it, and frankly is pretty darn close to perfect, which all the siblings readily admit. We dont hold him up as the standard, or glorify his perfection.
He is not perfect, but has clearly seen the mistakes of his siblings and has chosen to avoid them.
Number 5 is just turning 13 in July and we are TERRIFIED but hopeful and spending alot of time on our knees again!

Life is messy and life is hard. I am not sure having children or not would change anything about that. You would definitely miss the blessings, you might avoid
some pain if you didnt have them, but chances are life wont be totally without pain. It''s the chance we take.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/8/2009 12:13:26 AM
Author: luv2sparkle
As the mom of 5, most 20 and over, (one almost 13). I never regretted having them before they turned 13. I loved every minute of it. i can hardly look at photos or videos of those days because they were so sweet it breaks my heart. All have been precious beyond belief. After 13, however, my first three have just
about killed us. I have been a SAHM for most of their lives, and I would say we did all the right things. My husband and I have often asked ourselves if there
is anything we would have done differently, and truthfully, we cant come up with much.

Our first three have made choices that we had taught them were harmful, wrong or just dangerous from the time they were toddlers. We talked and modeled these
things always. We have dealt with police and emergency rooms, rehab and serious brain injury. We have loved them and prayed for them and been on their side
in their corner and on their team. We have put them first in every decision, and done without much for ourselves. We havent given them everything but made
them earn much by working for it. We have had serious car accidents and DUI''s. I have home-schooled, public schooled and private schooled.

I would be a big fat liar, if I ever said we hadn''t had moments when we wished we had never got into this parenting thing. Okay, a lot of moments. But, life wouldnt have been the same, and it wouldnt necessarily been better either. More self-centered for sure, but I am not sure that is a good thing. There is enough
selfish people in the world (not only folks or all folks who are childless), but maybe having kids kept me from becoming one. I guess I will never truly know.

I pray they all come out the other side. I see glimpses of promise, I am hopeful. I trust the God who holds their future in His hands. Only so much is up to me.
I am confident I have done my part. I have no regrets about that. I have given my all.

I can take the blame for all the positive, but then I must take the blame for all the negative. Somewhere in there I have to make peace and find the balance. That
is the tough part.

Number 4 gets it, and frankly is pretty darn close to perfect, which all the siblings readily admit. We dont hold him up as the standard, or glorify his perfection.
He is not perfect, but has clearly seen the mistakes of his siblings and has chosen to avoid them.
Number 5 is just turning 13 in July and we are TERRIFIED but hopeful and spending alot of time on our knees again!

Life is messy and life is hard. I am not sure having children or not would change anything about that. You would definitely miss the blessings, you might avoid
some pain if you didnt have them, but chances are life wont be totally without pain. It''s the chance we take.

Your honest reply is greatly appreciated, and I am sure that it speaks directly to the hearts of many other parents lurking here who never chime in. Good luck with all 5... especially the baby!

 

[NakedFinger]

I know I am a little late on this because it was posted awhile ago, but this article made me cry. And frankly made me sick. The fact that any parent could have this person that they created, a loved/raised, could honestly look at that child and wish they didnt nauseates me. But hey, thats just me.

I thinks its ok to not want to have children, and those that dont should admit it to themselves and not be parents.

Author: vespergirl
I think that perhaps some of those parents who wrote to Ann Landers about having disappointing experiences with their children possibly were not very good parents, which explains how their kids turned out

I believe this is correct to a degree. But my gut feeling is that the "no''s" just prove my belief that some people just arent meant to be parents. I believe that all the "no''s" are people who should never have had children. Some people are just to selfish to have kids. And thats fine. If you honeslty would give up the joy (stress included) of your child because you "miss going out, missed doing this and that", you shouldnt have had a kid.

Author: lyra
Standing at the end of my life looking back, I would be the one saying life would not have been worth living without my children having been part of it.

lyra- your post gave me chills. And to all the other mothers that voted "yes" and live for your children. I COMMEND YOU and have the utmost RESPECT for you. I am one of six kids, the youngest is 5, and my parents live breath and eat for their children. They always put their children first, thank God every day to have us, and are seriously the must unselfish peopel I have ever met. Would they have been financially better off if they didnt have 6 kids? Definitely. Would they have more "me" time to themselves? Definitely. But they wouldnt trade a moment of the joy of being parents for anythign in the world. And that is is how parent SHOULD feel.

 

[lilmissrugger]

I'm not a mom yet, and still a few years out from being married, but I am the second oldest of 5, and I've worked with kids as a babysitter, nanny, aide for an autistic child, teacher at a day care/gym/birthday part venue for kids (My Gym, if there are any ladies out there who know what I'm talking about), a pediatric dental assistant, and most recently as a tutor for young kids in a homeless shelter. I helped raise my youngest siblings and many other children.
And I cannot wait to have children all of my own.

I think part of it stems from coming from a big family- there are no people in the world like my siblings, and I love them more than I could say.

The thing about kids is, you get to experience life all over again for every child through their eyes. You get to be the home, the homework expert, the hand-holder, hair-stylist, the hero.

You bring another life into the world, and that person has the ability to spread happiness and love into the world.

I think life is all about love. It helps you see the world in a completely different way-colors are brighter, songs have more meaning, and everything just feels better in love. Being able to share that love with a husband, and then one day kids, feels like a gift.

When you give love away, you get that and more in return (even not if at that moment).

At the shelter, we see kids all the time who have been thrown into the worst circumstances (one little girl liked in a warehouse with her mom and her "dads" throughout one winter (in Wisconsin, mind you) with no heat, electricity, or running water. When she came to us, she was a 'problem child'. At school, she was always disrespecting teachers, even defacing the restrooms. However, we worked with her for three months, and in that time, I was able to see her smile one day after having her very first "green day" at school (which meant she behaved the whole day and was an excellent student). She went from hitting to hugging, etc. It just goes to show you what love can do for someone- proper encouragement and teaching of "life-lessons" from someone who truly cares about them can turn kids around- I've seen it. Even when things are stressful, you just have to remain positive.

Love really can do anything.

(I know, I'm corny-- but I really can't help it!)

 

[atroop711]

yes I would have children again but have 1 more than I have now (I have 3 kids)...I would love 4 kids but I''m 41 and tired

 

[PinkTower]

luv2sparkle,
What a relief to read your post. I walk the same path as you.
Of course, I cannot imagine a mother who does not love the experience of raising small children. I teach, and I think I will never grow tired of their unconditional love.
But, there is no way to prepare yourself for the poor choices your children can make once they become teens and college age.
Like you, one child will turn out to be the one who never worries you, and the other, reared in the exact same manner......
Having the phone ring in the middle of the night is a life altering experience.

 

[trillionaire]

This would make me regret having a child!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/20/2009 3:09:57 AM
Author: trillionaire
This would make me regret having a child!

It''s called "A face only a mother could love."

Seriously though, if Amelia did that, my heart would be sad for sure, because I''ll always think she''s beautiful just the way she is.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/20/2009 3:20:10 AM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/20/2009 3:09:57 AM
Author: trillionaire
This would make me regret having a child!

It''s called ''A face only a mother could love.''

Seriously though, if Amelia did that, my heart would be sad for sure, because I''ll always think she''s beautiful just the way she is.

That''s wonderful! Especially since I would regret her enough for the both of us! Yikes!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Oh Trill- you gave me such a giggle!!!! I may have to print that and show my boys! None have tatoos (yet!) but they have expressed and interest! Does that fit under the heading of ''scared straight? Hope it doesn''t backfire! My youngest draws sleeves on his arms continually. That guy is probably a rocket scientist!

Pink Tower, I have received calls that have literally dropped me to my knees. All three car accidents. One son, hit by a car had multiple surgeries over two years time, my oldest was in a coma for several months and I spent two years in rehab with him, and my daughter on the bloodiest highway in ca escaped without much injury. But when I saw the car I literally almost passed out. I have thought about this topic so often since posting and I know I wouldnt trade a minute even with all the difficulties.

I think it''s okay to admit that we sometimes wonder if we would do it all again. It doesnt mean that we will always feel that way. Sometimes life does suck, but
sometimes its great. So if we have moments when we want to stomp our feet and scream at the top of our lungs that this was not what we planned-so be it.

Pink, I see hope with my kids and I pray you will too. I know we wont give up on them, after all, we are moms!