I think that depends. I agree - no need to drag it out. But I dunno, I like to know what people are up to (nosy?) and that sort of thing. I've made 'friends' with people while on vacation, and while I will likely never see them again, I do have them on FB and comment on their photos, keep tabs on their adventures, that kind of thing. But that isn't what i would consider a deep or meaningful friendship, so perhaps it doesnt apply.momhappy|1444769676|3937936 said:But if you will rarely (and more likely never) see that friend again, would you still maintain contact?
I don't see the point and I wondered if others felt differently. I should mention that I have a fairly easy time moving on from things though - I'm not one to drag things out just for the sake of dragging them out. If I'm not going to probably ever see someone again, I think it's best to cut loose and move on.
Jambalaya|1444773749|3937975 said:This is a sore point for me. If I care about a friend, they could be on Mars but they are in my mind and heart. Social media makes it easy to keep in touch.
However, I have been on the receiving end of the "out of sight, out of mind" thing, and it hurts. As if I'm only valuable if I'm right in front of the person. No one likes to think they are so forgettable and disposable. Also, if a friend is only interested because I'm easy - geographically available - then I guess she never cared about me.
If I moved away for good and a friend decided not to keep in touch for the reasons that Momhappy says, and then I moved back unexpectedly, I would not want to be friends with the person again if they couldn't be bothered about me when I was away. But that's just me - I try hard only to make time for the people I really care about and who really care about me. Fair-weaher friends are a total waste of time for me.
Momhappy, if you don't really care that much about the friend then I can understand your position. But if it's a friend that you really like and you cherish her, do your part to keep the friendship alive. Good friends are hard to find and the really good ones shouldn't be disposable. You can't surely know that you will never see her again. Maybe she'll come back, maybe her circumstances will change - or maybe yours will, and maybe you'll be thrown together again. Life has a way of throwing some really strange circumstances at you. Or if she's move to somewhere far away, you could go visit her and experience a new place.
momhappy|1444774563|3937982 said:Jambalaya|1444773749|3937975 said:This is a sore point for me. If I care about a friend, they could be on Mars but they are in my mind and heart. Social media makes it easy to keep in touch.
However, I have been on the receiving end of the "out of sight, out of mind" thing, and it hurts. As if I'm only valuable if I'm right in front of the person. No one likes to think they are so forgettable and disposable. Also, if a friend is only interested because I'm easy - geographically available - then I guess she never cared about me.
If I moved away for good and a friend decided not to keep in touch for the reasons that Momhappy says, and then I moved back unexpectedly, I would not want to be friends with the person again if they couldn't be bothered about me when I was away. But that's just me - I try hard only to make time for the people I really care about and who really care about me. Fair-weaher friends are a total waste of time for me.
Momhappy, if you don't really care that much about the friend then I can understand your position. But if it's a friend that you really like and you cherish her, do your part to keep the friendship alive. Good friends are hard to find and the really good ones shouldn't be disposable. You can't surely know that you will never see her again. Maybe she'll come back, maybe her circumstances will change - or maybe yours will, and maybe you'll be thrown together again. Life has a way of throwing some really strange circumstances at you. Or if she's move to somewhere far away, you could go visit her and experience a new place.
Sure, one can "keep in touch" on social media, but truly maintaining a friendship takes more effort than that IMO. I have old friends on FB and I get to see glimpses of their lives/they get to see glimpses of mine, but none of us is really maintaining much of anything except casual contact.
My question wasn't really about anyone specific to my life - it was more of a general curiosity - someone recently told me that they still occasionally text with an old friend (who moved away). It seemed sort of odd to me and I wondered if others shared my feelings or if it was a product of my ability to easily move on from certain relationships with people in my life.
I agree with those who say that if a good friendship is worth it, then it's worth maintaining no matter what the circumstances
Zoe|1444774563|3937981 said:Jambalaya, "out of sight, out of mind" is a good way to put it. I've never understood it but like you, I've been on the receiving end. Just curious, did you talk to the person/people who made you feel that way?
Jambalaya|1444775545|3937993 said:momhappy|1444774563|3937982 said:Jambalaya|1444773749|3937975 said:This is a sore point for me. If I care about a friend, they could be on Mars but they are in my mind and heart. Social media makes it easy to keep in touch.
However, I have been on the receiving end of the "out of sight, out of mind" thing, and it hurts. As if I'm only valuable if I'm right in front of the person. No one likes to think they are so forgettable and disposable. Also, if a friend is only interested because I'm easy - geographically available - then I guess she never cared about me.
If I moved away for good and a friend decided not to keep in touch for the reasons that Momhappy says, and then I moved back unexpectedly, I would not want to be friends with the person again if they couldn't be bothered about me when I was away. But that's just me - I try hard only to make time for the people I really care about and who really care about me. Fair-weaher friends are a total waste of time for me.
Momhappy, if you don't really care that much about the friend then I can understand your position. But if it's a friend that you really like and you cherish her, do your part to keep the friendship alive. Good friends are hard to find and the really good ones shouldn't be disposable. You can't surely know that you will never see her again. Maybe she'll come back, maybe her circumstances will change - or maybe yours will, and maybe you'll be thrown together again. Life has a way of throwing some really strange circumstances at you. Or if she's move to somewhere far away, you could go visit her and experience a new place.
Sure, one can "keep in touch" on social media, but truly maintaining a friendship takes more effort than that IMO. I have old friends on FB and I get to see glimpses of their lives/they get to see glimpses of mine, but none of us is really maintaining much of anything except casual contact.
My question wasn't really about anyone specific to my life - it was more of a general curiosity - someone recently told me that they still occasionally text with an old friend (who moved away). It seemed sort of odd to me and I wondered if others shared my feelings or if it was a product of my ability to easily move on from certain relationships with people in my life.
I agree with those who say that if a good friendship is worth it, then it's worth maintaining no matter what the circumstances
I think some people are just more sentimental than others, Momhappy. Some people keep in touch just for old times' sake with friends they no longer have much in common with. For many people, those old times are a bond, and a link to the past. Others would rather just move on already - my dad is very much like that. Me, I'm so sentimental I find it hard to look at my late mother's old lace handkerchiefs. But there were two girls at high school who were just lovely, so sweet and kind and funny, but when we left school it was like - bam! No one in the whole school ever heard from them again. They clearly didn't want to keep in touch. I also worked with two women like that. It just seemed such a pity when we all got along so well and had so much fun together, but I don't think you're unusual, Momhappy, in preferring to move on.