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Ideas on how to pop the question to one thats being turned down

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happybrat72

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2003
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2
Hi everyone,

I want to propose to the man I love.He has been married once before and it didnt work out.He was with a girl for about 4 years and he poped the question to her and she turned him down and refused to marry..........

So how do I pop the question to him? He is my cowboy as I say.He likes most everything country and wester.He also likes to go out and shoot pool....Does it have to be a ring I use? Help..............
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Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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31,003
Maybe you should let him have his own timeline and propose to you? Or do you think that he may never get the nerve up because he's been turned down in the past? Does he carry alot of mental baggage about that, or does he seem to have gotten over it?

Proposing to men is tricky. I personally would rather wait until they are ready, since it seems most of the time, the men take a little longer than the women to be ready.

You don't need a ring, maybe a nice gesture of some sort? It's a toughie.
 

Adrienne

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
120
If you are pretty sure he is close enough to ready -

Does he country dance??? You could go out to the local country bar and propose during a cowboy cha cha or a country waltz...

And instead of a ring you could give him a country-type item. I can't think of anything off hand, maybe a bolo or a big belt buckle?, that would be a sweet symbol of your love and acceptance of him.

This is probably a little corny, but sweet.
 

Adrienne

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
120
You know - the more I think about it the more I come back to what Mara is saying. Obviously we don't know the details of your situation but proposing might not be a good thing.

How long have you been dating? Have you discussed the long term potential of your relationship?

I would probably wait and let him propose to me. That way you know he is healing from the experience with the ex-girlfriend. If he isn't ready and you propose it puts him in a very awkward position, and he is forced to either say yes or deal with potential repercussions from saying no.

Besides - it's sure worth it when the proposal comes your way!
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aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
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9,160
Or even worse.....he knows how awful it feels to be turned down. That could conceivably cause him to accept... even if he isn't ready... just to spare your feelings.

I know it sounds unlikely, but if he is loathe to be in the position of declining, it's possible he could accept on the thought that the engagement can always be broken down the line. Somehow a broken engagement doesn't seem to have the same impact as a declination.

I wholeheartedly agree w/Mara and others.....let him propose to you. When it happens, you'll KNOW he wants to take that step.
 
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