Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

I think my FH paid to much for my ring.

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
S

SuperSparkle

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2010
Messages
7
Hi everyone

This is my first time posting on this board (or any other board). My FH recently proposed and bought me a gorgeous engagement ring from Birks (a high-end diamond retailer in Canada). However, when I found out the price I nearly flipped! It''''s a 1.52ct princess cut set in a platinum setting. F, VS1 am not too sure about the other details. It cost >$29,000!! Although I really love the ring, I think he overpaid, should I tell him what I think (and change the ring for similar size and quality but a better price) or will I hurt his feelings by doing so?

Please help!
 
This is really dependent on how your relationship works...

but do you know for certain it CAN be returned? If it cannot be returned, there is no sense in bringing it up.
 
Yes it can be returned, this store has a very lenient return policy.. I think it''s something like 90 days.
 
How much is that American? $27,000? Wow, that''s a lot.

What a toughy. For that amount, (online) you should be able to get the same ring and a pair of earrings to go with and still have some money left over.

Is your FH into the romance of things or is he more laid back about that type of stuff? I''d think about his sentimentality before bringing up the price. And, also, as said by MissPrudential, check the return policy.

Congrats on your engagement.
 
HI:

I live in Canada and although I like looking in Birks, I cannot justify their prices.

Only you know your fiancee well enough to know if his feelings will be "hurt"--what is your goal in bringing up the "cost"?

cheers--Sharon
 
I just wanted to add that if it was my DH, I wouldn't bring it up. He's not at all into jewelry so if he bought me a ring (or whatever), it'd be a major deal and I wouldn't want to burst his bubble. . . however, every time I've been given a new piece, he's just had me pick it out because he knows I'm more saavy when it comes to making the most of a budget. . .
2.gif
 
I would bring it up to him. That''s an obscene amount of money to pay and it would eat me up if I didn''t at least say something to my fiance. If he doesn''t want to return the ring to save money, you don''t have to, but he should at least know he has that option. I don''t think it''s that big of a deal to bring up, really-it''s not as if you don''t like the ring-you just want him to save money!
 
I would let him know. For the same quality stone, you would be potentially saving him/both of you a lot of money. If he wants to spend the same amount, then you can get a bigger stone.
31.gif

I would just say something like since getting engaged, I''ve been doing research on PS which has a lot of good info...turns out Birks is overpriced....Did you know that, honey?
Good luck and keep us updated.
 
Date: 2/4/2010 5:17:19 PM
Author: canuk-gal


I live in Canada and although I like looking in Birks, I cannot justify their prices.
Click to expand...
Exactly this. I would talk to your hubby and return the ring. I don''t know any guy who wouldn''t be excited to save over 18K!
 
I think if FH can save big bucks by bringing it back and buying something similar online (for example) he will get over any "hurt feelings" prety fast when he sees what he can get for a lot less money.

This is precisely the reason to told my BF he was forbidden to surprise me and buy an engagement ring. I insisted that I do lots of research and we decide together what the best choice is for our budget. Best part for him is that I get exactly what I want and he gets to pay less than he would for the same thing locally in Canada.
 
I agree with all of those who have said yes tell him and get the money back.
 
Maybe you could compromise; return the ring, get something similar, and split the difference- you can get something nice (those earrings) and he can get something nice (maybe it covers his bachelor party later).
Much luck, and bring it up gently- if he paid that much for your ring, I''m sure he put quite a bit of thought into it!
 
You know him best. There are certainly guys who are thrilled with the whole romance thing and who would be hurt if their decision was questioned. There''s also the ego thing where they might be hurt that you''re implying they made a stupid choice. However, if you think he''d be happy to save a lot of money then I''d go for it.
 
As a guy who would probably be "hurt" a bit by this, I can promise you that he will get over it when he sees how much money you''re saving. Tell him you love it. Tell him you''re not sure you want to return it but you can''t sleep at night knowing how much it was. Tell him what you could both do with the $15,000 you''re going to save. Tell him you want to help him find the exact same ring he picked out for less. Make sure you let him know you LOVE the ring, just not the price. He''ll be fine.
 
I did a quick search to see what you could get that diamond for from a pricescope vendor. Click on the links below. They don't include settings but I think it would be fair to say that you can get a VERY VERY nice setting for 3000.00.
For the most expensive diamond listed and a 3k setting you'd be 1/2 the cost.

I'm Canadian too.


Whiteflash

James Allen

Union Diamond

Ice Store

ERD

You're the only one who really knows if you should bring it up to him.
However, I've attached numerous vendors who have the exact same specifications as you mentioned: Princess 1.52 F-VS1.
The most expensive is 11,298.00. (USD)

Maybe you might want to introduce him to Pricescope.com. Most (not all but most) men are less emotional with purchases. As a guy, I'd see and appreciate the practicality of your actions.

If you're worried that he'd be upset, suggest he takes the savings to go on a boys trip or spend it on a toy for himself!

Best of luck to you. I'm sure it will all work out for both of you.
1.gif
 
Whether the amount of money is ludicrous or not would depend on his finances and whether he paid an amount he can afford.

Buyer''s remorse is always one of my greatest fears. If someone told me I spent way too much on something, my stomach would likely turn, at least at first. Having an "out" would naturally cushion the blow quite a bit. Then I''d shift into getting excited about saving money. With my ego, I care more about making her happy than to let my ego get in the way (once I''m reminded my ego is in the way). Be sure you know how his ego works.

b
 
My dh would want me to tell him, as long as there was time to return it for a full refund, not just an exchange. I think that if you phrase it to him very gently it''s okay to tell him- ie. you love the ring so much and he chose something beautiful for you, but you''re concerned that they overcharged him (make it about them- not that *he* overpayed) and would rather see him have that money to use for something else.

If it were approached from a "I could have had a bigger ring with that money" angle then I could see him getting offended, but if it''s that you want him to have his money back then you''re really looking out for his interests.

Good luck!
 
Thank you everyone for your advice

The funny thing about this situation is that typically he''s very consumer savvy and does tons of research before making a big purchase (we spent months researching online before purchasing a camera) - in fact one of his homepage tabs is set to redflagdeals.com which is a bargain website. That is why I was doubly shocked when I found out - sticker shock and shock that HE spent that much (although he could afford it).


I think I will do what most of you have suggested- and gently bring up the idea that maybe we should take a look at a few different options together - and use the money that we save towards the wedding or honeymoon.

How does Birks get away with charging so much anyway?
 
It''s like anything else, the better the brand''s reputation for "high-end" products the more money they can charge. You will never get a "deal" buying from Tiffany, Van Cleef & Arpels, Harry Winston, etc. You will get a brand (which matters more to some than others) with a particular reputation, recognition, and quality. You can get the same quality for less money in many other places, but it will never be a ______ brand product no matter how much it looks like one.

Some people pay the overinflated prices because they don''t know any better. Some people pay the prices because that''s what they want and that''s what it costs. There are other intangibles that come along with their prices, such as the service you receive (some of them even have generous warranties, which costs them some money over time).

Never underestimate the power of a brand.

b
 
Do you know when he *purchased* the ring? It might have been more than 90 days ago. I''m wondering how "lenient" you experience their policies to be when you actually try to return the ring & get cash. That''s what would have to happen to get a better deal. Anything else there is going to have the same markup.

Good luck!
 
If it is still in the return period I would 100% bring it up. That is a big chunk of change and you can get a beautiful stone that size for FAR LESS.

What man would not be happy to save money AND make is fiance happy??

Do some quick research and show him some stones - go to GOG, Whiteflash, etc and search stone of similar size / quality and be ready to show him the comparisons.
 
I don''t agree with the posters. I say, don''t bring it up. The guy wants to be a hero--all guys do. He wants your eyes to shine and to know that you think HE did a great job. If he had wanted input from you, he would have done like many men (including my husband before I married him) and said, let''s pick this out together.

If you bring it up, however nicely, you will be saying that you think you''re more competent than him and he won''t say anything, but he won''t like it. He may also think that you are greedy if you propose (as some have suggested) turning in the ring for a better deal--and getting earrings or whatever along with it. I would let the situation alone and keep my mouth shut and just forget about the extra $$$. He obviously doesn''t think they were wasted, he wanted to do this for you and it may be the last thing that he is able to do for you like this for some time, so unless it is some situation like he''s living with his parents and spent this money instead of saving for a downpayment, just zip it and smile and be very, very grateful.

P.S. How on earth do you know the ring price? Maybe you found it out some other way, but if he TOLD you, that''s another clue that he''s proud of himself and that you''d be making a mistake to cut down his pride.
 
FH here.

So she did bring it up, and I am not surpised. I actually thought she would have brought it up much earlier considering the sheer $ value.

I am by no means a fan of diamonds they are expensive trinkets in my mind (http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/198202/diamond) and think of them as poor investments to say the least. That being said this ring was truly beautiful and I don''t regret purchasing it at all.

To give you some background I did look through PS and Blue Nile before making the purchase. I got an idea of what I could get it "online" but was hesitant with buying online because of the logistics of already living with my FW and the time required to have everything arranged.

I did have some marching order from FW (Princess cut and prefer not to have a solitaire but one surrounded by other diamonds) which framed my purchase decision.

After going through ~5 stores in Toronto I didn''t find anything I was looking for and we were heading to Calgary (which is cheaper by 8% due to no sales tax).
Once in Calgary I saw this ring at the first store I went to. I had some early discussions but left to see the other stores in town. Without question this was the nicest ring I saw (not the most expensive though), and kept coming back to my mind. 30 minutes before the store closed I went back to buy it. I was able to negotiate a discount but felt that it was more money then I planned to spend, but it is certainly manageable and within any standard guidlines for a ring budget.
I choose Birks in part because of the customer service, reputation and return policy. The ring is a solitare vs. one surrounded in smaller diamonds so if she wanted to change it she could. That being said...

The look on her face when she saw it was priceless and she has taken pride in showing it off to everyone. She is definately worth it.

Once I get the full appraisal and reports we will reevaluate the ring, but considering the additional sales taxes, time, quality and scarcity of larger high quality diamonds I doubt we will really be motivated to replace the ring.
 
Aw well good for you then!

I can imagine your fiancé''s dilemma, loving the ring but feeling so guilty about the price tag. It''s great that you two have a solid enough relationship that she felt she could voice her concerns.

Anyway, alls well that ends well, sounds like you made the right choice and your lucky gal can enjoy her beauty in peace.

Congratulations on the engagement!
36.gif
 
So nice to get the other point of view! I have no doubt it is a beautiful ring.

Buying on line does take a little more work and has some of those "leap of faith" feelings
associated with it but when best buy for your budget and a better selection then you
can get in most stores its worth it to a lot of people.

No matter what you do (keep it or shop around some more), I hope you are both happy.
(thats the most important!)
 
Well, fancy seeing you here DiamondHB ;).

I''m really glad that I talked to you about this, even though I was pretty nervous that you may take it the wrong way (but you didn''t, and that''s one of the many reasons I''m excited to marry you :-)).
My main concern was that you didn''t have buyer''s remorse or felt guilty about spending more than you wanted to. But, since you obviously made an informed, thought-out decision and are comfortable with the purchase I see no reason for returning it - the ring IS extremely beautiful (and I''m giddy showing it off to all my friends).

Thanks everyone for your help with this, and for all the congratulatory wishes on our engagement!

See you at home HB,
 
OK, interesting...I'm starting to get de javu -
20.gif


So, will a picture of this ring ever surface here or in SMTR?

YT, SE, SS, DH.
 
I wish both of you the best! Good luck with whatever you decide about the ring.
 
HI:

Totally weird! But it is Friday (not Tiffany but Birks!!
3.gif
)

Enjoy your ring--and please post hand shots!!

cheers--Sharon
 
Date: 2/5/2010 2:55:39 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:


Totally weird! But it is Friday (not Tiffany but Birks!!
3.gif
)


Enjoy your ring--and please post hand shots!!


cheers--Sharon
Click to expand...

Will post pic when I get home later today :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top