i need help...how do you

[snowflakeluvr]

get the courage to make a change to your hairstyle??? i am really struggling with this. i have below should length hair, just started getting it colored a pretty, deeper brown with red undertones(must be my hair''s pigment as the color is a solid brown with no red tones on the sample) i like it as my own hair is a mousy brown with natural blond highlights. i really like the new color, so the color is a positive.
i wore it blond for about 10 years in my 30''s, with a "faith hill" type short haircut, then more like a preppy flip with wispy bangs, should length. i have generally worn my hair longer, permed sometimes, with layers sometimes, only short a couple of times.
my hair is naturally straight, very little body, fine but tons of it. i hate my hair by the way but it''s now half-perm grown out, almost all one length except for some bangs. i have five kids and tend to wear it on a ponytail during the week if i am not going out. i look young for my age, but really want something a little sophisticated and an actual hairstyle.
how do you decide to make a change, like lopping it off? i am so torn-i am sick of looking so awful! i never thought i''d become so haggard, but toddlers, a diabetic teen and life stress are killing my looks!
i did buy a hair magazine yesterday and just don''t know.
can anyone encourage me here with their hair success stories? thanks so much. dh and i are going to nyc for a little business/getaway and i want to look polished and grown-up, not like an aging cheerleader

i am not a high maintenance person, but when i had time(pre kids 4 and 5) i have always been a girly-girl who did the hair, make-up thing.
thanks anyone who can lead me to a new look....ps i am over 5ft 8, average body, oval face shape...

 

[Lorelei]

Have you considered a bob? Your hair sounds ideal for this style, it is easy to manage and also if you don''t go too short, you could still pop it into a ponytail if you wanted. It might be an ideal solution for you, it is always easy to do and always looks polished and elegant.

 

[LitigatorChick]

My advise is to find a stylist that you trust, tell them what you have just said, and let them do what they think is best.

I get lots of compliments on my hair, and I tell people that I have no control of my hair, my stylist is in charge. If she gets it wrong (she hasn''t yet), it is just hair, and it can be fixed or it will grow.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

hi lorelei,
i have been looking at longer bobs, but will it make my face look fat? i seem to need a little height in front and have a pretty predominant cowlick which i always have to consider. thanks so much for your input!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/30/2008 11:10:02 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
My advise is to find a stylist that you trust, tell them what you have just said, and let them do what they think is best.

I get lots of compliments on my hair, and I tell people that I have no control of my hair, my stylist is in charge. If she gets it wrong (she hasn''t yet), it is just hair, and it can be fixed or it will grow.

I could never do that, you must have a really great relationship with your stylist!!!!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/30/2008 11:10:27 AM
Author: snowflakeluvr
hi lorelei,
i have been looking at longer bobs, but will it make my face look fat? i seem to need a little height in front and have a pretty predominant cowlick which i always have to consider. thanks so much for your input!

Hi there! I think a bob suits most face shapes, but maybe you might be better with some shorter layers if you feel you need some height...I think there are websites out there where you can add a pic of your face and try out hairstyles, I wonder if anyone has come across one...

 

[snowflakeluvr]

litigator chick,
pretty baby you have there! i have actually considered getting my hair done in nyc, found some renowned salons online, but have such fear factor. you sound brave! i just know that i am very dissatisfied currently with my non-look and need something to freshen up my life. i know a new cut/style is in order. thanks for the encouragement. i''m going to keep stewing about this...enjoy your precious baby

 

[LitigatorChick]

Go for it!!! What is the worst that can happen, really!! Do you have a friend that has a great cut that can recommend their stylist? Just dive in!!!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/30/2008 11:19:50 AM
Author: snowflakeluvr
litigator chick,
pretty baby you have there! i have actually considered getting my hair done in nyc, found some renowned salons online, but have such fear factor. you sound brave! i just know that i am very dissatisfied currently with my non-look and need something to freshen up my life. i know a new cut/style is in order. thanks for the encouragement. i''m going to keep stewing about this...enjoy your precious baby

What you could do is go in for a consultation, and get some feedback from some stylists and suggestions. Once you find one you like then that may make the whole experience easier and also reduce the fear factor. I don''t like having anything done to my hair, so I like a stylist I feel comfortable with, who involves me in the whole process. Also most importantly, one who listens to what I have to say and doesn''t do their own thing.

 

[VegasAngel]

On the ladies Home Journal Website they have Try-A-Hairstyle. All you do is upload your picture & you can try different hairstyles/colors. Try playing around with that to give you some ideas before making the plunge. Heck post the pictures from LHJ here & we will tell you what's hot.

 

[door knob solitaire]

I am in the same boat as you...but I jumped out secure I could swim.

Mine was beyond my strap ...and I went to shoulder...have decided to go back for a long bob. This gradual step was right for me as I had the same fears that you did. While our hair is different...I am naturally curly fine texture, I think you may find your hesitation may be lessened if you tried two CHOPS instead of one. You aren't cutting as much I did...but there is no rule you have to do it all at once.

I have found taking off the length has added more body and swing...more movement. It adds a more complimentary frame to my face...(I am an oval). In my experience my stylist instructed me to maintain the length on top of my head...as she brought the length up closer from the bottom for this first trial stage. It would assure me that the next chop wouldn't be that drastic or shocking for me to handle. It does feel very strange when I run my hand down my length...because it stops far shorter than it did. (Egads...what did you do with my hair!!!..."I cut it as we discussed 20 minutes ago remember?" Yeah but...I changed my mind! "No you didn't just let me style it...you are OK. Breathe". ) Well, after seeing the pile of my locks on the floor, and then the swing of the style...I'm really happy about it.

It would be very hard for even a professional to advise you without knowing your face shape...here online. Your face shape is really the pivotal detail that a hair cut needs to compliment. When you get that right, everything will look great! Your eyes will pop when your cut is right! So just talk to a stylist...or many of them. Look for your face shape in those magazines...and see what they did to present that cut. Cut out those and focus on them and get the long photos out of your head...well, that is my advice. Come on out...the water is fine! §

ETA: most of those non celebrity photos that stylist submit to those magazines are well thought out...as it drums up business for their salon and garners awards. That is why your focus of the face shape is so valuable to you...they have already spend time thinking and rethinking and retrimming to get that portrait shot perfect. Use that as a tool to make your decision. You are already visiting 100 stylists just by thumbing through that magazine!!

 

[CrownJewel]

snowflake, you should get your hair cut when you come to NYC!!! Kind of like, let the energy of the city give you the courage to chop!

I would say chop off the part of your hair that was permed. Leave your hair straight. You can get lots of volume just by having layers cut in.

As for convincing yourself to change your hairstyle, just remember that it can always be fixed. I tried bangs this past year for a change and...I hated it. So I just bought a can of hairspray and pinned the bangs back in a cute little sweep. It looked great! It''s amazing what pins, hairspray, and headbands can do for an unfortunate haircut.

 

[Erin]

Funny, I''m also 5''8 and I used to have mousy brown (fine) hair with summer highlights and the ends had a slight wave to them from the perm I had to have to get through the awkward stage of growing it out from ultra ultra ultra short. It was all one length and just kind of flopped there.

It finally got to be grazing my shoulders and I was using a flat iron to make the ends of my hair appear healthy like the rest of it which was working alright except I felt it was lacking style.

So then a couple of weeks ago I cut it like the picture in my avatar except just below chin length. Bangs, too. And I dyed it darker for the sake of all one color.

I have a new outlook on how I feel about my looks because the hairstyle is so definitive and crisp. That''d be my recommendation. I love it.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

thank you ladies,
i am rather computer-impaired but with dh''s help tonite, i am going to try out that lhj "put your face in the hairstyle and see how it looks"-
starset princess, your look is fabulous. i bet you''re gorgeous! i am not a trendy person and tend to wear simple, classic things(when i''m not in mommygear) so i feel the same about my hair. i just feel so FUGLY lately-need to change that. my family is so wonderful, i adore my kids, dh is improving with age

so maybe it''s time to give some energy to moi-self. i''ll keep ya posted.

 

[sumbride]

I also have fine but thick straight hair. I wore it long for years, but right around Christmas I climbed into my stylist''s chair and said "CUT IT". He did. That instant he cut 3 inches off so I couldn''t change my mind! Then he cut another 5 or so. I LOVE it. It''s flirty and flippy and fun. And the waves that I didn''t know I have show up more easily with it shorter and layered. It''s a little longer than my avatar, but it has the same movement. I''m so glad I did it, and now that it''s been about 6 weeks, it''s time for me to go back and have it cut again.

I wanted to go darker because I''ve got mousy brown hair that I have highlighted for years, but he wouldn''t let me! He said "I''m sorry. You''re blonde. Deal with it!" and proceeded to paint my highlights on! Ah well, it works for me, but I would like to TRY to be a brunette just once.

 

[ladypirate]

Heya!

I used to wear it really long (down past my waist), and then chopped 2 feet off at once! Since then I''ve kept it around shoulder length, which has worked well, since I can still throw it up in a ponytail. I think my best advice is the same as LitigatorChick''s--it''s just hair, and it will grow. Find a stylist you have a good rapport with and trust them. It makes a huge difference.

 

[sera]

I''ve done this twice... both on impulse. The first time my hair was to my waist and I had it chopped off into a pixie cut... a couple feet of hair to a couple inches! The second time, my hair was to the middle of my back and I had it cut into a shattered a-line bob (the hair in the back was at the middle of my neck and swept forward). It takes getting use to, but I loved both cuts... especially the a-line! I''m now growing it out from the a-line (almost brastrap length), and I imagine I''ll cut it again on impulse.

Both times it was by someone I trusted, so odds were with me that even if I wasn''t crazy about the cut, it would be a good cut. Worst case scenario, I figured I would still be able to do something with it even if I didn''t like the intended cut... and there''s always hats, barettes, styling creams, etc... and in time, it grows.

I wouldn''t take my chances on someone I didn''t trust... I would make sure the stylist had the expertise to not only cut my hair in the style I wanted, but also if it wouldn''t work for my hair type or face shapes or maintenance, etc., they wouldn''t do it. My stylist was half-jokingly called The Hair Knotsie.... cuz he has straight up told me, "No, I''m not cutting your hair that way. You won''t like it."

 

[LitigatorChick]

Take the plunge!!! My hair changes colour about every couple months - from blond to dark dark dark brown, and everywhere in between. Have fun with it!!!

 

[snowflakeluvr]

I go to my stylist on saturday for a color and THE CUT. i am still undecided but apprecate the input and encouragement here! i am computer illiterate and wish i could share hair pics/my diamond pics for that matter. one of these days...thanks gals. my precious college girl is coming home tonite(we live in the mid-west) for the weekend to beat the big ice/snow storm that''s brewing. can''t wait to see my girl. have a great hairday everyone

 

[LitigatorChick]

Good luck!!!!

 

[ladypirate]

Good luck! Can''t wait to see the finished style.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

hi all,
just wanted to let y''all know that on saturday, i DID take the plunge and got a fab-u-lous new cut. first my stylist cut the lousy, permed ends off(about 2 inches) i said, "be gentle with me"

and she was. then she colored and highlighted it-my natural color is a lighter mousy brown with some blonde highlights, so now it''s a deep mahogany i''d say with really subtle highlights. we choose a brown tone but it comes up with that red tint? but i really like it, i have hazel eyes (which look blue a lot of the time) and fair skin, so...it''s sort of like my old faith hill layered cut but a little longer. i also broke my glasses last week and splurged on really what i think are more mod frames. i''ve been a contact wearer for years but some funky things happening to my eyes lately, so banished to being an eyeglass wearer.
so i just want to thank you all for your contributions to my new "look". i really like it, my college daughter went with me and she loves it and dh even commented in a complimentary way(and he doesn''t notice much). so i just wish i''d done it sooner. with older kids and toddlers, it''s that "don''t have time for myself" phase and i am putting my foot down, and going to start taking care of ME a little bit at a time. if i ever figure out how to post pics, i''ll show you and show you my modest jewelry collection. this is such a great nightcap before i go to bed every night!!! take care ladies...

 

[Erin]

Wowza - new cut, new color, new mod glasses?
Sounds like a makeover!!!

Isn''t it funny when you change your look you start being more attentive to putting makeup on or putting an ''outfit'' together?
For me it''s always a burst of creativity because it''s like I''m starting with a new and different palette.
Have Fun!

 

[snowflakeluvr]

hi starset,
it does feel a bit like a makeover-i tend to wear classic, simple pieces(jeans, RL shirts, polos) having two toddlers at my age was do-able till a few months ago, when the stress of life really knocked the looks outta me! i never imagined i''d look so ugly and haggard. i love the show, "what no to wear", but even tho they gussy up those housewives, as one of those housewives, it''s more practical to put on a nice warm-up suit during the day(especially during the winter). i also gained uber weight when our teen-age son was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes-lots of late nights, and mega-stress for a few months. now, if i could find a place that sells the body-makover, ready to go, i''d be good to go

 

[Lorelei]

Fabulous!!! How about a new fragrance to match your new hair????

 

[misysu2]

Hit up citysearch and find a stylist that has been recommended by tons of people. Call and make an appt.

For me, I will pay much more for a trusted, experienced stylist who will make a drastic change to my hair. I can then go to a less expensive stylist for upkeep. Good luck!

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 2/5/2008 1:21:24 AM
Author: snowflakeluvr
hi all,

just wanted to let y''all know that on saturday, i DID take the plunge and got a fab-u-lous new cut. first my stylist cut the lousy, permed ends off(about 2 inches) i said, ''be gentle with me''

and she was. then she colored and highlighted it-my natural color is a lighter mousy brown with some blonde highlights, so now it''s a deep mahogany i''d say with really subtle highlights. we choose a brown tone but it comes up with that red tint? but i really like it, i have hazel eyes (which look blue a lot of the time) and fair skin, so...it''s sort of like my old faith hill layered cut but a little longer. i also broke my glasses last week and splurged on really what i think are more mod frames. i''ve been a contact wearer for years but some funky things happening to my eyes lately, so banished to being an eyeglass wearer.

so i just want to thank you all for your contributions to my new ''look''. i really like it, my college daughter went with me and she loves it and dh even commented in a complimentary way(and he doesn''t notice much). so i just wish i''d done it sooner. with older kids and toddlers, it''s that ''don''t have time for myself'' phase and i am putting my foot down, and going to start taking care of ME a little bit at a time. if i ever figure out how to post pics, i''ll show you and show you my modest jewelry collection. this is such a great nightcap before i go to bed every night!!! take care ladies...

Congratulations!!! I am so proud of you!!!

 

[snowflakeluvr]

i''m going with dh to new york city next tues. i get to shop while he works...a new fragrance sounds like a great idea! i am going to make a list, i swear, so i don''t spend all of my time shopping for my kids! thanks LC and everyone. you''re the best

 

[diamondfan]

I was going to recommend virtual styling too! You factor in face shape, time you want to put into styling, etc.

You can also stop people who you think have similar hair/face structure to you, if you like their hair style. Ask where they get it done, most people are complimented by it!

Another option, do not think I am odd for this, is to get a wig in the style you think you might like and wear it. A friend of mine going through chemo and radiation for breast cancer did that, she decided to make it fun and tried all different styles. She got ones made of real hair, that looked really great. Honestly, a lot of stars used to do this, so they could spare their hair the wear and tear. (weird rhyme there!!!!)

I do not think I would just say, go for it, to anyone, unless I knew we were really in sync about the look and the management of it.

Yes, hair can grow back. BUT, take it from someone who accidentally turned blonde hair hot pink in high school and had to cut my below shoulder blade length wavey hair to my chin and wait years for it to grow while coloring it a muddy brown every couple weeks...it seems like an eternity sometimes. I know that is an extreme case, for you will NOT be doing that, but I would really gather my ducks. I know a change can be easier and refreshing. I had a stylist, one of the top in my area, even after I told her not to make my hair short, giving me a bob that did not work on my face or with my waves. She must have cut off 8-10 inches of hair. A trim to me would be under on inch or so. It was May, and it took til December to start looking like my hair. Had it been my son''s bar mitzvah year I would have been unhappy...could have done those extensions I guess but every day was an issue too.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

diamondfan,
before "the cut" i did tell dh i wanted to splurge on extensions. he just rolled his eyes at me. my new beg is for botox(which i''ll probably never do) i have these two little lines between my brows

but other than that i am hardly wrinkled at 44. i did get some sisley samples at saks and keep asking dh if i look younger. when i told him the price of the cream, he sais, "nnnahhhh, you don''t look any younger!"

hah! i beg to differ

.
i have seen some of your jewelry pieces on here-outstanding! your ring is my dream ring, but i am going to hit dh up for a 5 stone diamond mom''s ring, before our 25th(we''re soon at 21) but i want BIG stones cuz i like everything BIG. he he
thanks for your input.