I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[seaurchin]

I don’t think it’s generally accepted that a man has extramarital affairs… I think it’s depressingly common, but I think it’s always been something that’s generally considered unacceptable. So you might be right, that she will care.

I do think however, that she wouldn’t leave. She might care, but she wouldn’t get out. Divorce is still pretty stigmatised - it happens more often but it’s not commonly accepted. It’s improving, but it’s still a point of contention.

But I can’t think of a worse hell than staying in a marriage where you’re unhappy, personally. I’ll never know, but it’s also not really my place to know, I think. At this point whether he’s turned over a new leaf for her or whether he continues to be the way he is, whether she’s happy or unhappy, whether HE is happy or unhappy… it’s got nothing to do with me.

It sounds to me like it's just one of those super sucky situations where involvement with him is not likely to end well, because that's the kind of guy he is.

Either you get your heart broken when he cheats on you. Or you'd get your heart broken even worse if the marriage had gone through and he cheated on you after your life was even more entangled with his.

But now the first place misery prize will go to the woman who didn't mind helping him dish it out to you, behind your back. She worked hard to earn it, so she deserves it.

Just. Wait.

And please let us know. I just love happy endings haha.

ETA: Also, her wedding dress choice was quite a coincidence lol. In other words, I think it definitely had something to do with you.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

It sounds to me like it's just one of those super sucky situations where involvement with him is not likely to end well, because that's the kind of guy he is.

Either you get your heart broken when he cheats on you. Or you'd get your heart broken even worse if the marriage had gone through and he cheated on you after your life was even more entangled with his.

But now the first place misery prize will go to the woman who didn't mind helping him dish it out to you, behind your back. She worked hard to earn it, so she deserves it.

Just. Wait.

And please let us know. I just love happy endings haha.

ETA: Also, her wedding dress choice was quite a coincidence lol. In other words, I think it definitely had something to do with you.

Oh, I definitely would come and update you all if I heard anything! I appreciate how much you’ve all gotten invested in my problems. It’s really hard for me to talk about these things with people in my life. PS and all of you are my outlet and I really appreciate you.

I do think they both truly deserve each other. Gossip on the street is that her intentions are also not the purest but since I don’t know her or the truth of the rumors I refuse to discuss them.

If she wore that dress while knowing the full context though… that’s just disturbing.

 

[seaurchin]

If she wore that dress while knowing the full context though… that’s just disturbing.

Yes, it is very disturbing. I'd think the odds of her picking the same dress as a random coincidence are very low. And obviously, she did feel the need to involve herself in a serious underhanded competition with you, so...

Also, I'm thinking "relationshit" really needs to be a word. Haha.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Yes, it is very disturbing. I'd think the odds of her picking the same dress as a random coincidence are very low. And obviously, she did feel the need to involve herself in a serious underhanded competition with you, so...

Also, I'm thinking "relationshit" really needs to be a word. Haha.

The worst part is that she could’ve only known about that dress from him. So it makes me wonder, if he did remember, why do I still figure in his head and in his life? He’s the one who cheated on ME! I think when it comes to her I don’t really care about her at all - like obviously she helped him cheat but she didn’t owe anything to me. He did. So her motivations, whatever they are, aren’t my problem at all. I guess his aren’t either, but still… but I guess he’s not the type of person to let go of grudges or resentments easily. I do hope it wasn’t driven by that though… that would be taking spite too far.

Glad to be out of that relationshit lol. When I think back to the honeymoon period and how happy I was…

 

[Calliecake]

@AllAboardTheBlingTrain, It’s very easy to think back to that honeymoon period and how happy you were. Unfortunately the man you were in the honeymoon phase with doesn’t exist. That’s who he wanted you to believe he was but it wasn’t the real him. The person you saw toward the end of the relationship was the real him. Please don’t lose sight of who he really is. It will help you to get thru this.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

@AllAboardTheBlingTrain, It’s very easy to think back to that honeymoon period and how happy you were. Unfortunately the man you were in the honeymoon phase with doesn’t exist. That’s who he wanted you to believe he was but it wasn’t the real him. The person you saw toward the end of the relationship was the real him. Please don’t lose sight of who he really is. It will help you to get thru this.

You are very right Callie. It’s tempting to think about the happy memories but I’m doing my best not to let myself go there. It’s just surreal to have your entire image of a person shattered like this. But I know I’m better off without the real man. And you can’t marry a mask. So it’s for the best.