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I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

Happy Anniversary - a special gift makes for a wonderful day!!
 
Happy Anniversary @canuk-gal. I’m glad you had a wonderful anniversary. Forty years is something to celebrate. How sweet of your neighbor.
 
HI:

It is our 40th Anniversary today. Early this AM, we received an unexpected (and very generous gift) from our neighbour. It was a lot of excitement for 0800 in the AM!!! I am speechless--and that is a feat if you knew me--and I don't know how to thank her.

A Lovely day we had, to her!

cheers--Sharon

Happy Anniversary Sharon! What a huge milestone! And your neighbor is a sweetheart!! I wish you many many more happy years!!!
 
Lately I've noticed that i am annoyed of wearing rings and when I do I keep removing them. Very dangerous habit, because I might lose them eventually. I catch myself thinking of selling everything, after collecting rings for decades.. I still enjoy looking at other people's rings, I just can't wear mine any more. They make me nervous.... Am I completely nuts?
 
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Just discovered my ex's now WIFE (cannot believe that actually happened already) wore my dream dress as her wedding dress. My life is a sitcom (not sure what emoji to insert here - do I laugh or not?)

I've been off social media for a month or so - I had been doing super well with getting over my ex but the last month or so I found myself thinking about him more and more and getting upset so I went off of social media and have been travelling. Which is why I had no idea that he actually got married a few days ago, until a friend of mine reached out to me right now to warn me that it happened (she didn't send me pictures or anything, I did that to myself by instantly redownloading socials to go see the posts). I already texted my closest friends about it, but I don't know, I wanted to tell you guys. I feel like it's easier to write about it here, with the cover of anonymity. I don't know, my head's a bit all over the place.

I think I'm a little in shock, I mean I knew it was coming eventually and I always knew it would be sooner than later because he wasn't the type to want a long engagement, but it's been less than a year since we broke up and he's already MARRIED to his affair partner. I guess I can't call her that anymore, she has a far more legitimate claim to him than I do. He actually married her, after all, not tried to drive her away by cheating on her too.

But, I'm ok, I think. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy, but I'm not devastated. I feel much less than I expected to feel. I can look at him and feel mostly nothing... some anger and resentment but at least I didn't cry over the fact that he married someone else. At least I'd already accepted that I'm better off without him. Maybe it's stupid, but the thing that bothers me the most is that she wore my dress. The one I was going to wear to marry him. I mean, my dream dress was by one of the most well known bridal designers in the country, so its not like I have a claim on his clothes or anything but I had picked one that wasn't the go-to for most brides. I hadn't seen any other bride wear that dress yet. And that's the one she wore... I think it would have been fine if she'd just worn the same designer that's just a weird coincidence, but the same DRESS???

I mean I guess it doesn't matter... I'd imagined that dress with him as the groom so much that I could never have worn it once we broke up anyway, so she's welcome to the dress as much as she's welcome to the groom. But at the same time I definitely feel all kinds of weird about it.
 
Lately I've noticed that i am annoyed of wearing rings and when I do I keep removing them. Very dangerous habit, because I might lose them eventually. I catch myself thinking of selling everything, after collecting rings for decades.. I still enjoy looking at other people's rings, I just can't wear mine any more. They make me nervous.... Am I completely nuts?

Oh dear--I'd be upset if you lost anyone of your beautiful rings! May I ask--did you have an unwanted event--like a robbery (or attempted one) or a friend or colleague making disparaging remarks about your jewellery?

I must admit, I've had lots of times over the decades where I thought I could do without my stuff and have downsized my collection considerably.
 
Just discovered my ex's now WIFE (cannot believe that actually happened already) wore my dream dress as her wedding dress. My life is a sitcom (not sure what emoji to insert here - do I laugh or not?)

I've been off social media for a month or so - I had been doing super well with getting over my ex but the last month or so I found myself thinking about him more and more and getting upset so I went off of social media and have been travelling. Which is why I had no idea that he actually got married a few days ago, until a friend of mine reached out to me right now to warn me that it happened (she didn't send me pictures or anything, I did that to myself by instantly redownloading socials to go see the posts). I already texted my closest friends about it, but I don't know, I wanted to tell you guys. I feel like it's easier to write about it here, with the cover of anonymity. I don't know, my head's a bit all over the place.

I think I'm a little in shock, I mean I knew it was coming eventually and I always knew it would be sooner than later because he wasn't the type to want a long engagement, but it's been less than a year since we broke up and he's already MARRIED to his affair partner. I guess I can't call her that anymore, she has a far more legitimate claim to him than I do. He actually married her, after all, not tried to drive her away by cheating on her too.

But, I'm ok, I think. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy, but I'm not devastated. I feel much less than I expected to feel. I can look at him and feel mostly nothing... some anger and resentment but at least I didn't cry over the fact that he married someone else. At least I'd already accepted that I'm better off without him. Maybe it's stupid, but the thing that bothers me the most is that she wore my dress. The one I was going to wear to marry him. I mean, my dream dress was by one of the most well known bridal designers in the country, so its not like I have a claim on his clothes or anything but I had picked one that wasn't the go-to for most brides. I hadn't seen any other bride wear that dress yet. And that's the one she wore... I think it would have been fine if she'd just worn the same designer that's just a weird coincidence, but the same DRESS???

I mean I guess it doesn't matter... I'd imagined that dress with him as the groom so much that I could never have worn it once we broke up anyway, so she's welcome to the dress as much as she's welcome to the groom. But at the same time I definitely feel all kinds of weird about it.


Good doll, because it's so pathetic, pedestrian and expected it should make you laugh. She'll tire of playing the role of *you* in his little personal play, soon enough.

He will never know happiness. You will.

You're free.
You, my dear, have only one thing to do. Live well, like you are.
 
He actually married her, after all, not tried to drive her away by cheating on her too.

Well, first of all, that could still happen.

I'm glad you aren't devastated. That's the most important thing. I do understand about the dress. Is there any way she could have known that it was the dress you wanted to wear? Trying to find out if it really was intentional or a truly unusual coincidence. If she knew, then that tells you what kind of person she is, And it doesn't sound good to me.
 
Just discovered my ex's now WIFE (cannot believe that actually happened already) wore my dream dress as her wedding dress. My life is a sitcom (not sure what emoji to insert here - do I laugh or not?)

I've been off social media for a month or so - I had been doing super well with getting over my ex but the last month or so I found myself thinking about him more and more and getting upset so I went off of social media and have been travelling. Which is why I had no idea that he actually got married a few days ago, until a friend of mine reached out to me right now to warn me that it happened (she didn't send me pictures or anything, I did that to myself by instantly redownloading socials to go see the posts). I already texted my closest friends about it, but I don't know, I wanted to tell you guys. I feel like it's easier to write about it here, with the cover of anonymity. I don't know, my head's a bit all over the place.

I think I'm a little in shock, I mean I knew it was coming eventually and I always knew it would be sooner than later because he wasn't the type to want a long engagement, but it's been less than a year since we broke up and he's already MARRIED to his affair partner. I guess I can't call her that anymore, she has a far more legitimate claim to him than I do. He actually married her, after all, not tried to drive her away by cheating on her too.

But, I'm ok, I think. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy, but I'm not devastated. I feel much less than I expected to feel. I can look at him and feel mostly nothing... some anger and resentment but at least I didn't cry over the fact that he married someone else. At least I'd already accepted that I'm better off without him. Maybe it's stupid, but the thing that bothers me the most is that she wore my dress. The one I was going to wear to marry him. I mean, my dream dress was by one of the most well known bridal designers in the country, so its not like I have a claim on his clothes or anything but I had picked one that wasn't the go-to for most brides. I hadn't seen any other bride wear that dress yet. And that's the one she wore... I think it would have been fine if she'd just worn the same designer that's just a weird coincidence, but the same DRESS???

I mean I guess it doesn't matter... I'd imagined that dress with him as the groom so much that I could never have worn it once we broke up anyway, so she's welcome to the dress as much as she's welcome to the groom. But at the same time I definitely feel all kinds of weird about it.

It is a shock and a slap in the face with the dress all at the same time - that is a lot to absorb. Take a deep breath and give yourself some time. You already know all the right answers for yourself and you are looking at it all realistically. Common sense and emotions don’t always exist on the same plane, but they will eventually. It has happened and it creates a finality that will now allow you to move forward with your life. You are free and wonderful and trust that happily ever after is out there for you! The most wonderful things happen when you least expect them so hang in there, be good to yourself and trust in your future!
 
Good doll, because it's so pathetic, pedestrian and expected it should make you laugh. She'll tire of playing the role of *you* in his little personal play, soon enough.

He will never know happiness. You will.

You're free.
You, my dear, have only one thing to do. Live well, like you are.

I think I expected that he would marry soon so I can’t be shocked about that but somehow it’s jarred me all the same. The dress thing definitely is really bothering me. But you’re right in a way, I’m free. I feel a bit like his getting married has been good for me… like I cried a bit, spoke to my best friend for an hour, but at the end of it I do feel… cleansed, I guess. Thank you so much.

Well, first of all, that could still happen.

I'm glad you aren't devastated. That's the most important thing. I do understand about the dress. Is there any way she could have known that it was the dress you wanted to wear? Trying to find out if it really was intentional or a truly unusual coincidence. If she knew, then that tells you what kind of person she is, And it doesn't sound good to me.

The bolded bit made me laugh. I mean, if it does, she shouldn’t be surprised. If they’d do it with you they’ll do it to you, won’t they?

The only way she could’ve known is if he told her, because he was the only one who knew. He wanted to know what I would wear back when we were together so he could coordinate exactly. But I doubt he would’ve told her that it was the dress I wanted because I can’t imagine that ANY woman would be willing to do that. If he really wanted to steer her he may have recommended it as one out of a few and she picked it? But why would he?? That’s so uncomfortable. I’m more surprised he didn’t dissuade her from it even if she did want it, but maybe he couldn’t. Or maybe he just doesn’t remember the dress and it’s a coincidence to which I am ascribing more meaning than I should.

I actually went and stalked the social media of the designer as well to see if any other bride has worn that dress and yes, there have been 1-2 in the last year or so, so it’s possible it’s just one that’s picked up in popularity now and this is all one big weird coincidence.

But in a way it’s not my problem. I mean, it wasn’t my problem earlier either, but now it really feels like it isn’t my problem. If it’s deliberate then I’m even more better off honestly.
 
It is a shock and a slap in the face with the dress all at the same time - that is a lot to absorb. Take a deep breath and give yourself some time. You already know all the right answers for yourself and you are looking at it all realistically. Common sense and emotions don’t always exist on the same plane, but they will eventually. It has happened and it creates a finality that will now allow you to move forward with your life. You are free and wonderful and trust that happily ever after is out there for you! The most wonderful things happen when you least expect them so hang in there, be good to yourself and trust in your future!

You are so right that I feel free. I don’t feel it all the time yet, but there is some relief in the finality of it. Now it’s done. He’s married and he’s completely out of my life. It’s surreal… I’ve known him for so many years, first as an acquaintance/distant friend, then a prospective partner, then a very close friend, then a serious partner, and now a stranger. And the man that he is now is very strange indeed. I never saw this side of him which is why in a way it makes it easier to get over. He’s not the same person.

My best friend made me pick out a different dress on the phone with her yesterday, as a hypothetical future wedding dress for myself. She was like “don’t think of it as she married your groom in your dress. It’s not your dress. Clearly that dress and that ahole were a package deal. You deserve better than both. We’re going to find your dress now” even though I’m completely single. Can’t say I’ve fully (mentally) committed to something new but it was fun to go through the breadth of what is out there and find other options. At least I know there’s more out there I could fall in love with like I did this dress. She also went through all the stuff they posted about their wedding and nitpicked it with me lol. I might never get married but at least I have a list of “what not to do”. Petty but it made me laugh.
 
@AllAboardTheBlingTrain I’m irked on your behalf—but honestly, good riddance to that cheating jerk! You deserve so much better, and you will have it. The sweetest revenge is living your happiest life!
 
@AllAboardTheBlingTrain I’m irked on your behalf—but honestly, good riddance to that cheating jerk! You deserve so much better, and you will have it. The sweetest revenge is living your happiest life!

Thank you lulu. I’m trying to embody that as well, just living my own life. I know I deserve better but honestly just being single is better than being with someone like this. That being said I do hope I’m not single forever… but I am determined to not get into something for a while longer at least no matter how lonely I feel.
 
You are so right that I feel free. I don’t feel it all the time yet, but there is some relief in the finality of it. Now it’s done. He’s married and he’s completely out of my life. It’s surreal… I’ve known him for so many years, first as an acquaintance/distant friend, then a prospective partner, then a very close friend, then a serious partner, and now a stranger. And the man that he is now is very strange indeed. I never saw this side of him which is why in a way it makes it easier to get over. He’s not the same person.

My best friend made me pick out a different dress on the phone with her yesterday, as a hypothetical future wedding dress for myself. She was like “don’t think of it as she married your groom in your dress. It’s not your dress. Clearly that dress and that ahole were a package deal. You deserve better than both. We’re going to find your dress now” even though I’m completely single. Can’t say I’ve fully (mentally) committed to something new but it was fun to go through the breadth of what is out there and find other options. At least I know there’s more out there I could fall in love with like I did this dress. She also went through all the stuff they posted about their wedding and nitpicked it with me lol. I might never get married but at least I have a list of “what not to do”. Petty but it made me laugh.

That's a good friend! Glad you have her!
 
Just discovered my ex's now WIFE (cannot believe that actually happened already) wore my dream dress as her wedding dress. My life is a sitcom (not sure what emoji to insert here - do I laugh or not?)

I've been off social media for a month or so - I had been doing super well with getting over my ex but the last month or so I found myself thinking about him more and more and getting upset so I went off of social media and have been travelling. Which is why I had no idea that he actually got married a few days ago, until a friend of mine reached out to me right now to warn me that it happened (she didn't send me pictures or anything, I did that to myself by instantly redownloading socials to go see the posts). I already texted my closest friends about it, but I don't know, I wanted to tell you guys. I feel like it's easier to write about it here, with the cover of anonymity. I don't know, my head's a bit all over the place.

I think I'm a little in shock, I mean I knew it was coming eventually and I always knew it would be sooner than later because he wasn't the type to want a long engagement, but it's been less than a year since we broke up and he's already MARRIED to his affair partner. I guess I can't call her that anymore, she has a far more legitimate claim to him than I do. He actually married her, after all, not tried to drive her away by cheating on her too.

But, I'm ok, I think. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy, but I'm not devastated. I feel much less than I expected to feel. I can look at him and feel mostly nothing... some anger and resentment but at least I didn't cry over the fact that he married someone else. At least I'd already accepted that I'm better off without him. Maybe it's stupid, but the thing that bothers me the most is that she wore my dress. The one I was going to wear to marry him. I mean, my dream dress was by one of the most well known bridal designers in the country, so its not like I have a claim on his clothes or anything but I had picked one that wasn't the go-to for most brides. I hadn't seen any other bride wear that dress yet. And that's the one she wore... I think it would have been fine if she'd just worn the same designer that's just a weird coincidence, but the same DRESS???

I mean I guess it doesn't matter... I'd imagined that dress with him as the groom so much that I could never have worn it once we broke up anyway, so she's welcome to the dress as much as she's welcome to the groom. But at the same time I definitely feel all kinds of weird about it.

Sending big giant hugs your way! I cannot begin to imagine the mixed bag of feelings you had through all this. I’m so happy to hear you had a friend you could lean on, he/she is a treasure!

Now, you heed to celebrate YOU. Is there something you’ve been eyeing? Bling/non-bling? Perhaps a vacation you’ve been wanting to go on? You deserve to treat YOU!
 
Sending big giant hugs your way! I cannot begin to imagine the mixed bag of feelings you had through all this. I’m so happy to hear you had a friend you could lean on, he/she is a treasure!

Now, you heed to celebrate YOU. Is there something you’ve been eyeing? Bling/non-bling? Perhaps a vacation you’ve been wanting to go on? You deserve to treat YOU!

Thank you!! Yes, talking to her really helped me yesterday. Life moves on, of course. I’m trying my best to not waste energy on him!

Honestly I’ve been treating myself a lot - I was just on vacation, and I bought my dream bracelet earlier in the year. I can’t really treat myself in some major way, but I think I’ll book a spa day this weekend.

Now the countdown begins to see how long it takes before he cheats on her.

That made me laugh out loud. Anyway, it’s not my circus. Maybe she won’t care even if he does.
 
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Thank you!! Yes, talking to her really helped me yesterday. Life moves on, of course. I’m trying my best to not waste energy on him!

Honestly I’ve been treating myself a lot - I was just on vacation, and I bought my dream bracelet earlier in the year. I can’t really treat myself in some major way, but I think I’ll book a spa day this weekend.



That made me laugh out loud. Anyway, it’s not my circus. Maybe she won’t care even if he does.

Oh, she’ll care!
 
I'm sure he told her she was different, he would never do that to her.....because ya know it's always the woman's fault he cheated , right? It's certainly not a flaw is his character.

And as the old saying goes ‘if he cheated with you, he will cheat on you’. I think some of these women believe they are special and therefore he would never do it to them.
 
Oh, she’ll care!

Yes she will!

I'm sure he told her she was different, he would never do that to her.....because ya know it's always the woman's fault he cheated , right? It's certainly not a flaw is his character.

And as the old saying goes ‘if he cheated with you, he will cheat on you’. I think some of these women believe they are special and therefore he would never do it to them.

You guys make a great point. I’m sure he has told her she’s different etc. and honestly in some ways she is. He married her, while in the past he’s always wriggled out of it - by either breaking up with the person, or cheating and then having them break up with him. But I don’t know how much she would care because she knew full well she was the other woman in the beginning. Also, I feel like he expected me to just overlook it and not leave him when I found out… maybe he’s finally found a woman who would tolerate straying as long as he didn’t leave her.
 
I know this very is difficult now @AllAboardTheBlingTrain. I promise you the day will come where you wonder what you ever saw in him.

Honestly Callie I already do. The differences in him are so bizarre I can hardly believe it’s the same person. I would honestly be willing to accept that he’d been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a clone just basis the behaviour alone. It really makes me realise that man, you think you know someone, for years on end, but you don’t. You never really do.

I think what’s actually been a more important lesson to learn for me though, is that while cheating was the one huge flaw that made me leave, there were other small things that I never even noticed until I looked back. Even if I ignore the cheating, I still think I deserved better. It doesn’t completely erase those emotions - because feelings are complicated I guess - but I already do sometimes wonder what made me fall in love with him.
 
But I don’t know how much she would care because she knew full well she was the other woman in the beginning

The "other woman" always feels like they are just more special. That he loves them more, etc. Unless they went into this with an "open marriage" then I doubt she won't care if he keeps on cheating. I realize your culture may be different, but unless it is generally accepted that a man has extramarital affairs, then she will will care.
 
The "other woman" always feels like they are just more special. That he loves them more, etc. Unless they went into this with an "open marriage" then I doubt she won't care if he keeps on cheating. I realize your culture may be different, but unless it is generally accepted that a man has extramarital affairs, then she will will care.

I don’t think it’s generally accepted that a man has extramarital affairs… I think it’s depressingly common, but I think it’s always been something that’s generally considered unacceptable. So you might be right, that she will care.

I do think however, that she wouldn’t leave. She might care, but she wouldn’t get out. Divorce is still pretty stigmatised - it happens more often but it’s not commonly accepted. It’s improving, but it’s still a point of contention.

But I can’t think of a worse hell than staying in a marriage where you’re unhappy, personally. I’ll never know, but it’s also not really my place to know, I think. At this point whether he’s turned over a new leaf for her or whether he continues to be the way he is, whether she’s happy or unhappy, whether HE is happy or unhappy… it’s got nothing to do with me.
 
You have the right attitude @AllAboardTheBlingTrain. I’d work on making myself happy. Thankfully none of this is your problem now. Life is too short to give this any more of your time. There is a beautiful life waiting for you.
 
Oh dear--I'd be upset if you lost anyone of your beautiful rings! May I ask--did you have an unwanted event--like a robbery (or attempted one) or a friend or colleague making disparaging remarks about your jewellery?

I must admit, I've had lots of times over the decades where I thought I could do without my stuff and have downsized my collection considerably.

My dear @canuk-gal, thank you for your thoughts. After the loss of my mother, i felt so disheartened, seeing her beautiful collection of jewelry being left behind and her gone... This experience made me start thinking about the lack of true value of all materialistic things and this must have something to do with how i've been feeling about my own jewelry. A month ago we also lost my 34 year olfdcousin, completely unexpectedly. She was the daughter of an extremely distinguished member of the society in my country and this event was playing non-stop on the news for weeks...it still is. Everybody was talking about her wonderful character, her work on charity, her kind soul that had touched so many people, the simplicity of her ways and appearence regardless of her social and financial status. A true angel she was...
All of those things make me wonder....why do i keep investing in things that don't really matter?
I'm sorry for all the negativity.... Maybe i'm just depressed....
 
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