I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[MamaBee]

I am so glad to have another sister in crime.

Deb

 

[vintageloves]

I sold a couple of designer bags I had and was able to get back what I paid plus a little more. I'm thinking of buying a bracelet, and I'm trying to decide between the whiteflash by the yard and the VCA sweet in yg/mop. Does anyone have an opinion? I don't currently own any bracelets, if that makes a difference in the decision making.

 

[Cozystitches]

I sold a couple of designer bags I had and was able to get back what I paid plus a little more. I'm thinking of buying a bracelet, and I'm trying to decide between the whiteflash by the yard and the VCA sweet in yg/mop. Does anyone have an opinion? I don't currently own any bracelets, if that makes a difference in the decision making.

Have you ever tried on a diamonds by the yard bracelet? I thought I wanted one until I went to Tiffany's and tried on theirs. Sooooo dainty and delicate, I knew I'd snap that little bracelet. I'd try them both on first before I pulled the trigger. I know that it's probably impossible to try on WF's version, but I know Tiffany's makes one.

 

[vintageloves]

Have you ever tried on a diamonds by the yard bracelet? I thought I wanted one until I went to Tiffany's and tried on theirs. Sooooo dainty and delicate, I knew I'd snap that little bracelet. I'd try them both on first before I pulled the trigger. I know that it's probably impossible to try on WF's version, but I know Tiffany's makes one.

I have tried on the Tiffany version. I remember thinking the diamonds were really small, but I don't remember the ctw and I'm sure the ACAs will outshine them. The VCA I've never tried on. I've always admired them, but none of their boutiques are near me.

 

[Cozystitches]

Feeling spoke with the hubs about bike....no response...went for a test ride (found one that I like, fits, and is relatively inexpensive $350 closeout)....no response other than monotone "ok" to my "I found a bike I want" excitement. Why is it he can drop $900 on an automatic watch (super cool Zeppelin) to add to his collection, but I can't get spend MUCH LESS on a bike??? Just miffed, and don't have an outlet.....no response needed, just me whining.....

 

[MamaBee]

Feeling spoke with the hubs about bike....no response...went for a test ride (found one that I like, fits, and is relatively inexpensive $350 closeout)....no response other than monotone "ok" to my "I found a bike I want" excitement. Why is it he can drop $900 on an automatic watch (super cool Zeppelin) to add to his collection, but I can't get spend MUCH LESS on a bike??? Just miffed, and don't have an outlet.....no response needed, just me whining.....

You’re not alone..I can relate..I love my husband but everything is “okay” and I get excited about everything pretty much..

 

[Cozystitches]

You’re not alone..I can relate..I love my husband but everything is “okay” and I get excited about everything pretty much..

Hehehe...yeah I get more excited. I'm thinking of trying to talk with him more about it. I even listed one of my sewing machines on CL and FB to help fund.

 

[TooPatient]

Feeling spoke with the hubs about bike....no response...went for a test ride (found one that I like, fits, and is relatively inexpensive $350 closeout)....no response other than monotone "ok" to my "I found a bike I want" excitement. Why is it he can drop $900 on an automatic watch (super cool Zeppelin) to add to his collection, but I can't get spend MUCH LESS on a bike??? Just miffed, and don't have an outlet.....no response needed, just me whining.....

Is he worried about your safety? I know DH and I have talked about how safety would be a concern riding a bike to work from here. Just tossing that out as an idea. I hope you are able to talk and find a solution you are both happy with!

 

[Cozystitches]

Is he worried about your safety? I know DH and I have talked about how safety would be a concern riding a bike to work from here. Just tossing that out as an idea. I hope you are able to talk and find a solution you are both happy with!

No. I think he's more worried about the $$$ and not confident that I'll stick with it. My thoughts are if I buy a cheap bike, I'll probably hate it and then don't continue. :/ I have looked at used bikes (seriously, went to 2 different stores looking at used ones) and the ONLY ONE that I was slightly interested in was still over $100 if/when they would list it.

 

[TooPatient]

No. I think he's more worried about the $$$ and not confident that I'll stick with it. My thoughts are if I buy a cheap bike, I'll probably hate it and then don't continue. :/ I have looked at used bikes (seriously, went to 2 different stores looking at used ones) and the ONLY ONE that I was slightly interested in was still over $100 if/when they would list it.

$350 for something you like and can use, even off and on, for years to come seems like a bargain.

 

[lyra]

Seems like fair is fair. He bought something for himself that maybe you weren't excited about, but he liked and wanted it. Only fair that you can do the same. You're not being unreasonable. If you don't like it, you can sell it. Or are you hoping he will join you? To be honest, that price for a good piece of sporting equipment is not high at all. It's not like you targeted a $700 bike for your first go. Get the bike, don't look back.

 

[RetroQT]

(DISCLAIMER: I fully understand the why as to this and so I am not, in all honesty, intending to make an issue of this PS policy.)

I miss being a regular PSer. I honestly don't feel like I fit in as a trade member because I am still such a noob and most of my knowledge was from my interactions with y'all on here. I can't post like I did before I got my job (due to PS guidelines, which I completely understand) and find I am very uncomfortable posting now since I can't offer the knowledge expected of our highly valued trade members. So now I feel like I no longer fit in here, which is so ironic because it's because of PS that I started my journey into the trade.

Just bummed out.

 

[Arcadian]

(DISCLAIMER: I fully understand the why as to this and so I am not, in all honesty, intending to make an issue of this PS policy.)

I miss being a regular PSer. I honestly don't feel like I fit in as a trade member because I am still such a noob and most of my knowledge was from my interactions with y'all on here. I can't post like I did before I got my job (due to PS guidelines, which I completely understand) and find I am very uncomfortable posting now since I can't offer the knowledge expected of our highly valued trade members. So now I feel like I no longer fit in here, which is so ironic because it's because of PS that I started my journey into the trade.

Just bummed out.

Big ol squishy hugs. I'm sorry. We still like you if it helps?

 

[TooPatient]

(DISCLAIMER: I fully understand the why as to this and so I am not, in all honesty, intending to make an issue of this PS policy.)

I miss being a regular PSer. I honestly don't feel like I fit in as a trade member because I am still such a noob and most of my knowledge was from my interactions with y'all on here. I can't post like I did before I got my job (due to PS guidelines, which I completely understand) and find I am very uncomfortable posting now since I can't offer the knowledge expected of our highly valued trade members. So now I feel like I no longer fit in here, which is so ironic because it's because of PS that I started my journey into the trade.

Just bummed out.

I can imagine it must be hard! I loved your posts and miss seeing you posting like you used to. Hang in there. You will get comfortable again!

 

[Cozystitches]

Seems like fair is fair. He bought something for himself that maybe you weren't excited about, but he liked and wanted it. Only fair that you can do the same. You're not being unreasonable. If you don't like it, you can sell it. Or are you hoping he will join you? To be honest, that price for a good piece of sporting equipment is not high at all. It's not like you targeted a $700 bike for your first go. Get the bike, don't look back.

<3 Thanks I think its just hard for me to talk with him about it, which I know is stupid and ridiculous... I often don't feel he listens... blah! I *may* have sold a sewing machine so that may help fund this next purchase.

 

[ice empress]

You’re not alone..I can relate..I love my husband but everything is “okay” and I get excited about everything pretty much..

I hate to say it, but I think it's a woman vs man thing... of course, not all men are hypo-communicative and hypo-excitable, but as a general rule, most tend to be less wordy and excitable than their female counterparts. My BF is case study #1. My father #2. My colleagues and ex's #3, #4, #5,...

 

[TooPatient]

I'm having a hard time picturing myself taking two classes (computer science) plus capstone project next quarter. Just the capstone alone is exhausting me. Trying to adjust our schedule at home to make it better. I need to make this work for my own emotional health. I can't stand another year of school right now. (With the possible exception of doing an online masters degree program...)

 

[missy]

(DISCLAIMER: I fully understand the why as to this and so I am not, in all honesty, intending to make an issue of this PS policy.)

I miss being a regular PSer. I honestly don't feel like I fit in as a trade member because I am still such a noob and most of my knowledge was from my interactions with y'all on here. I can't post like I did before I got my job (due to PS guidelines, which I completely understand) and find I am very uncomfortable posting now since I can't offer the knowledge expected of our highly valued trade members. So now I feel like I no longer fit in here, which is so ironic because it's because of PS that I started my journey into the trade.

Just bummed out.

Aww I totally get that and I'm sorry. Sending you comforting hugs and encouragement. Hopefully in time things will balance out and you will get into the trade member groove and feel just as loved and love posting just as much as you did before. Look at some of our beloved trade members who post here on a regular basis. PSers adore them and I think the trade members love posting and sharing info. And also you can totally post in hangout like you did before but just cannot share SMTB pics. And you do still fit in! (((Hugs))).

 

[missy]

I'm having a hard time picturing myself taking two classes (computer science) plus capstone project next quarter. Just the capstone alone is exhausting me. Trying to adjust our schedule at home to make it better. I need to make this work for my own emotional health. I can't stand another year of school right now. (With the possible exception of doing an online masters degree program...)

@TooPatient Don't over do and overwhelm yourself. There is no race to finish what you are undertaking right now IMO. Slow and steady and be good to yourself. Take one class perhaps and not the full workload you were intending to take. One day at a time. And keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of hugs and healing dust your way. XO.

 

[missy]

Feeling spoke with the hubs about bike....no response...went for a test ride (found one that I like, fits, and is relatively inexpensive $350 closeout)....no response other than monotone "ok" to my "I found a bike I want" excitement. Why is it he can drop $900 on an automatic watch (super cool Zeppelin) to add to his collection, but I can't get spend MUCH LESS on a bike??? Just miffed, and don't have an outlet.....no response needed, just me whining.....

OK so too bad for your dh. That's a reasonable price and if he makes purchases that are more expensive and doesn't need your approval you surely don't need his for such a relatively small purchase that is intended to improve your health right? Health is worth it and it is not a frivolous purchase. I know we are just strangers on the internet and do not know the details of your situation but if this won't hurt you financially and it seems as if your dh has no problem spending on himself I would 100% feel it is OK to buy this bike. !!! Good luck and get it and ride it and enjoy cycling and enjoy the benefits it will offer you.

And as for him not being excited that's not a big deal IMO. As long as he is supportive and wants you to be happy that is what matters. My dh doesn't get excited over my bling purchases but he is happy I am happy and that is enough. Remind your dh "Happy wife, happy life"...these words are truth.

 

[MamaBee]

OK so too bad for your dh. That's a reasonable price and if he makes purchases that are more expensive and doesn't need your approval you surely don't need his for such a relatively small purchase that is intended to improve your health right? Health is worth it and it is not a frivolous purchase. I know we are just strangers on the internet and do not know the details of your situation but if this won't hurt you financially and it seems as if your dh has no problem spending on himself I would 100% feel it is OK to buy this bike. !!! Good luck and get it and ride it and enjoy cycling and enjoy the benefits it will offer you.

And as for him not being excited that's not a big deal IMO. As long as he is supportive and wants you to be happy that is what matters. My dh doesn't get excited over my bling purchases but he is happy I am happy and that is enough. Remind your dh "Happy wife, happy life"...these words are truth.

That’s very true! That’s how I approach things with my hub..I’ll even say, “This is where you say you’re excited for me!” He’ll smirk and it’s fine. He told my son When he got married..”Happy wife..Happy life!”

 

[marymm]

Feeling spoke with the hubs about bike....no response...went for a test ride (found one that I like, fits, and is relatively inexpensive $350 closeout)....no response other than monotone "ok" to my "I found a bike I want" excitement. Why is it he can drop $900 on an automatic watch (super cool Zeppelin) to add to his collection, but I can't get spend MUCH LESS on a bike??? Just miffed, and don't have an outlet.....no response needed, just me whining.....

Cozy, what I am hearing is that your DH said "ok" to your update to him that you found the bike you want ... to me, that "ok" translates to partner agreement with planned purchase... right??? Buy it, bring it home, and (if need be) remind him he said "ok".

 

[Cozystitches]

OK so too bad for your dh. That's a reasonable price and if he makes purchases that are more expensive and doesn't need your approval you surely don't need his for such a relatively small purchase that is intended to improve your health right? Health is worth it and it is not a frivolous purchase. I know we are just strangers on the internet and do not know the details of your situation but if this won't hurt you financially and it seems as if your dh has no problem spending on himself I would 100% feel it is OK to buy this bike. !!! Good luck and get it and ride it and enjoy cycling and enjoy the benefits it will offer you.

And as for him not being excited that's not a big deal IMO. As long as he is supportive and wants you to be happy that is what matters. My dh doesn't get excited over my bling purchases but he is happy I am happy and that is enough. Remind your dh "Happy wife, happy life"...these words are truth.

@missy Thanks! I appreciate your taking the time to reply. Often this group feels more like friends than just "strangers on the internet". I think it comes from a place where the finances are a bit unequal. Hubs earns almost 2x what I do, and he also manages the $$. I'm ok with this most of the time, its just times like this (or when he goes out to lunch weekly) that I get angry. I am about 90% of the way to just saying I'm going to get it. When I did the little test ride yesterday, I started to remember why I liked riding my bike...I used to LOVE it as a kid.

That’s very true! That’s how I approach things with my hub..I’ll even say, “This is where you say you’re excited for me!” He’ll smirk and it’s fine. He told my son When he got married..”Happy wife..Happy life!”

LOL! I do this quite often with my other hobbies: "Honey, be impressed with what I've just made"

Cozy, what I am hearing is that your DH said "ok" to your update to him that you found the bike you want ... to me, that "ok" translates to partner agreement with planned purchase... right??? Buy it, bring it home, and (if need be) remind him he said "ok".

LOL, again I'm just about there! Also, I may remind him of my SH!@@Y 40th birthday and most recent Valentine's day this year (he bought a LV bracelet that was too dainty and I didn't want, had to fight with LV to return).

 

[yssie]

I’m a software engineer.

My old company, which I worked at for almost four years and gave my heart to, closed its doors in July after thirteen years in business.

I was heartbroken. We all were. Even though we’d seen it coming - we were a small outfit, under 100 employees, and our CEO was very open about financials - there was always the hope that if we just shifted direction a little further, put in a little more work, took on another niche, we might pull through... until one day and one lost deal too many there wasn’t. My stomach still churns remembering that last all-hands meeting first thing Monday morning.

Working there... I made some wonderful friends and I got some incredible - enviable - experience in my particular space. I started the job search and, after a couple of months and some ups and downs, had three promising options to choose from.

And the decision was easy: I was going to the place a dozen of my old coworkers had already chosen, the place that creates the operating system my old company’s offering was built on, the place that has somehow preserved the startup culture that I need to be happy at despite through two decades and twelve thousand employees of growth, the place for whom “open source” isn’t lip-service but lifeblood.

I’ve only been here a month. But I’ve believed in their message and their products for a decade, and I signed on proud to join the team and excited to fall in love again.

Today, an industry giant has acquired my new company. We are publicly traded - realistically, if someone shows up on the doorstep with a briefcase full of bills and says there’s a shipping container’s worth down at the docks, there’s not much that can be done if it’s in the shareholders’ interests. This giant has a long history of policies and values that run against much of my new company’s culture... But this acquisition is also obviously something of a Hail Mary effort at revival and industry relevance, which makes “them letting us keep doing our successful thing” a plausible belief. Only time will tell what this road takes us down. My main reaction right now is a very petulant “but I just got here!!”

I’m treating myself to hot chocolate with extra half n half tonight.

 

[TooPatient]

I’m a software engineer.

My old company, which I worked at for almost four years and gave my heart to, closed its doors in July after thirteen years in business.

I was heartbroken. We all were. Even though we’d seen it coming - we were a small outfit, under 100 employees, and our CEO was very open about financials - there was always the hope that if we just shifted direction a little further, put in a little more work, took on another niche, we might pull through... until one day and one lost deal too many there wasn’t. My stomach still churns remembering that last all-hands meeting first thing Monday morning.

Working there... I made some wonderful friends and I got some incredible - enviable - experience in my particular space. I started the job search and, after a couple of months and some ups and downs, had three promising options to choose from.

And the decision was easy: I was going to the place a dozen of my old coworkers had already chosen, the place that creates the operating system my old company’s offering was built on, the place that has somehow preserved the startup culture that I need to be happy at despite through two decades and twelve thousand employees of growth, the place for whom “open source” isn’t lip-service but lifeblood.

I’ve only been here a month. But I’ve believed in their message and their product for a decade, and I signed on proud to join the team and excited to fall in love again.

Today, an industry giant has acquired my new company. We are publicly traded - realistically, if someone shows up on the doorstep with a briefcase full of bills and says there’s a shipping container’s worth down at the docks, there’s not much that can be done if it’s in the shareholders’ interests. This giant has a long history of policies and values that run against much of my new company’s culture... But this acquisition is also obviously something of a Hail Mary effort at revival and industry relevance, which makes “them letting us keep doing our successful thing” a plausible belief. Only time will tell what this road takes us down. My main reaction right now is a very petulant “but I just got here!!”

I’m treating myself to hot chocolate with extra half n half tonight.

Were you acquired by the giant I am thinking of that is getting more involved in open source? DH is a developer on a team doing open source stuff at the big WA giant...

 

[yssie]

Yeah, that’d be it @TooPatient.

Your DH sounds to be in a good spot there

 

[TooPatient]

Yeah, that’d be it @TooPatient.

Your DH sounds to be in a good spot there

Hopefully it is a good thing for you! He loves his team he is on there and I have been impressed with how different it is from his previous team. They have also stepped up the effort to give back to the community and other cool stuff. Let me know if you ever have questions or just want to chat about benefits or whatever that can take some learning to figure out.

 

[yssie]

That's honestly the first positive thing I've heard anyone say about this company @TooPatient, so thank you for sharing it with me! My company has a fair number of ex-Your-DH's-company-ers - but, of course, "ex" says a lot about the perspective their opinions are coming from. My understanding is that culture can vary quite widely within independent teams within such a large organization (I've only ever worked at companies with <500 people so... this is all very new and scary for me!)

 

[TooPatient]

That's honestly the first positive thing I've heard anyone say about this company @TooPatient, so thank you for sharing it with me! My company has a fair number of ex-Your-DH's-company-ers - but, of course, "ex" says a lot about the perspective their opinions are coming from. My understanding is that culture can vary quite widely within independent teams within such a large organization (I've only ever worked at companies with <500 people so... this is all very new and scary for me!)

It does vary massively from team to team. The overall company has some good and some bad, but I love the good they are working towards. Charitable contributions are matched 100% plus volunteer hours you do get a $$ donation added by them. You will also see various fundraising events and activities for different charitable causes.

You also have to remember that you can transfer to another team after a bit if you find you don't like where you are. That said, DH loves his team and they were actually given the choice recently to merge into a different project or stay together. It all depends on your management chain!


ETA: it also depends on when people worked there too. Lots of changes the last few years, mostly for the better.

 

[yssie]

It does vary massively from team to team. The overall company has some good and some bad, but I love the good they are working towards. Charitable contributions are matched 100% plus volunteer hours you do get a $$ donation added by them. You will also see various fundraising events and activities for different charitable causes.

You also have to remember that you can transfer to another team after a bit if you find you don't like where you are. That said, DH loves his team and they were actually given the choice recently to merge into a different project or stay together. It all depends on your management chain!


ETA: it also depends on when people worked there too. Lots of changes the last few years, mostly for the better.

That’s the part that everyone here is worried about. Here, your management chain doesn’t matter, your department doesn’t matter, your area of expertise and title don’t matter... The only things that matter are your contributions to company products and your contributions to the open, inviting, bottom-up company culture that everyone benefits from.

I very much hope we can bring our culture forward, because that’s really what’s made us as special and successful as we are. It’s the most precious and valuable thing about us