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I just narc''d on my teenage neighbor

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Upgradable

Ideal_Rock
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Our neighbors (friends) across the street have a 17 yr old son and 14 yr old daughter. The past couple of days their son has "entertained" a young woman during the day. Besides the fact that he should be in school, I thought the parents should know. So I just sent his mom an email. I just told her that a young blonde girl driving a mercedes has visited a couple of times during the day, and that today they had the front door open when they were "saying goodbye."

Did I totally cross a line?
 

Italiahaircolor

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Honestly, it could go either way.

Clearly their son wasn't up to any good--cutting class, entertaining a girl...these probably aren't things his parents encourage. If it were my son, I'd be livid and embarassed and thankful someone clued me in. But some parents are strange...they'd rather turn a blind eye than confront a issue. Maybe they are type that thinks their son walks on water...they may project their anger at the situation out on you or simply shrug it off as "boys will be boys".

I personally believe you did the right thing...but you'll have to wait and see how it's received on the other end.
 

Tuckins1

Ideal_Rock
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Good for you for saying something. Hopefully they will nip this issue in the bud before he makes it a habit.
 

innerkitten

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I don''t think you crossed the line. If mom and dad didn''t know what was going on well now they do, and they can speak to their children about it. Parents need to know what their teens are up to and set limits
Take it from me I was kind of a bad kid in high school.
 

CrookedRock

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Isn''t it spring break right now? He may not have been missing school... Besides he is 17. What did you do at 17?
 

Upgradable

Ideal_Rock
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Spring break is next week. And my rationale was that if he''s old enough to "do it," he''s old enough to have to deal with his parents confronting him about it.

And, if they don''t want to do anything about it, that''s fine. That''s why I sent an email. It is easily ignored.
 

dragonfly411

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I think it is spring break, BUT that doesn''t mean he should have a young lady over while no parents are home, and also I wonder if this has been happening longer than in the past week?
 

Upgradable

Ideal_Rock
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I totally feel like Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched!
 

CrookedRock

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Wait! Serously? I''m not sure how old everyone here is, Dragonfly you''re 22! Come on! What were you doing at 17?
 

JSM

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Just because I was, erm, ''entertaining'' my boyfriend at 17, doesn''t mean I was doing it AT MY PARENTS house when I should be in school. I was far more discreet!

I think she did the right thing. If I got caught, I would have deserved what I got!
 

elrohwen

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CR, I definitely wasn''t doing
with a boy in my house whether my parents were around or not
I was a good kid!


I waited until college to do that kind of stuff


And Upgradeable, I think you did the right thing. As Italia said, you never know how the parents will take it, but I think the majority of parents would be happy to know so they could take care of it. Especially if you are friendly with them. It might be weird if the random neighbor was spying on their kid
but a friendly neighbor checking in is usually appreciated I would think.
 

monarch64

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That''s a line I probably would not have crossed. I would much rather see it continue so I could peek through my curtains and giggle.
 

Haven

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I agree with Italia--it could go either way, and as a parent I imagine I''d have mixed emotions in response to such an email. HOWEVER, if I were in your shoes, I would not have been able to keep it to myself.

But I''m a high school teacher and I start out by telling my kids that I am the biggest snitch they''ll ever meet because I''m determined to save them from themselves, if they need saving. And guess what? They respect me even more for it, because they know it''s our job as adults to protect them.
 

Upgradable

Ideal_Rock
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Well, they''re out "key exchange" neighbors. You know, the one''s who have your key for when you''re out of town. Oh, and we always get the call when their house alarm goes off for no reason, usually between 2 and 4 am!

And I''m not saying that I wasn''t "doing it" at 17, I''m just saying that if he''s old enough to be "doing it" he''s old enough to have to handle his parents finding out!
 

dragonfly411

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Crooked - At 17 I had no boyfriend, I rode horses, and I was not allowed to be at ANY house alone with a guy. But I''m also abnormal. I didn''t have my first kiss till 17 so.....
 

Bia

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Ooooh! Tattle-tale! Tattle-tale!



I think you did the right thing. I don''t have kids, but if I did, I would appreciate my neighbor being an extra set of eyes and ears. I''d rather a neighbor see something and let me know, even if it turned out to be nothing, than see something, ignore it, and have my child be harmed, or in trouble.

Good for you neighbor! And if mom and dad don''t like it, oh well. You''re just looking out.
 

Rhea

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It isn''t just the issue of having sex, he was missing school too, unless he''s dropped out.
 

neatfreak

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If that was one of my boys in 17 years I for sure would want to know (at the very least so I could tease him about it.
)
 

trillionaire

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I would have done the same thing. I also tell on my cousins when they have inappropriate myspace or facebook content. Kids DO need to be protected from themselves. They think they know, but they have NO idea. I know a 15 year old who just got diagnosed with not one, but TWO STD's!!!!!


IT TAKES A VILLAGE!!!!

And at 17, you could have trusted me to host Bill Clinton, I was a saint. Didn't do anything worth blushing about until I was 21/22.
 

Sabine

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Honestly, I would probably be tempted to do the same thing, except for a VERY clear memory of what happened to me when I was around that age.

I had a close friend who was dealing with a really crappy home situation (he was basically being abused) and so he would come hang out at my house after school a lot to avoid going home. I wasn''t allowed to have boys over because my parents weren''t home, but I broke the rules for this kid. Nothing beyond friendship was going on. One day, he came over, and he had pulled a lawn chair up to my window to tap and get my attention because it was a bit later and he didn''t know if my parents were home. I came outside, and our neighbor saw us hugging. They told my parents about the chair under my window.

My parents (who I was not getting along with at the time) flipped out because they assumed I was using the chair to sneak out and a whole bunch of other terrible stuff. I was really upset with my neighbor because they didn''t know what was really going on and it led to my parents making a bunch of false assumptions and believing them.
 

Rhea

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Oh Sabine, that''s an excellent point! That''s an age where parents start to assume the worst, kids lie to protect their friends, and life just gets even harder. I hadn''t thought of that!
 

innerkitten

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Not that you guys care of course, but I wanted to mention that when I said I was a bad kid in school I didn't mean with boys!!! I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18. But I did cut class and party a lot with my girlfriends :). Thats why I think I know a little about bad kids.
 

Italiahaircolor

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I started being a "bad girl" at 16...but I would have never dreamt of disrespecting my parents like that in their home...although there was plenty of opportunity to do just that--my parents have a sound proof movie theatre in their basement, and my boyfriends and I watched lots of movies
.

But, I have to say, all my extracurricular activities took place outside of my parents house and even now I''m really cautious about exactly how far my husband and I go...kissing is the top of the top. But, in his parents house, it''s all fair game, hahhaha
 

luckystar112

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Eh, I was pretty bad in high school (and yes, with boys...). I totally snuck them in my house, and snuck in their house too. I guess I was just a little trampy compared to the rest of you. haha!
I still wonder why no neighbors ever told on me.
 

FrekeChild

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Date: 3/12/2009 3:09:26 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Isn''t it spring break right now? He may not have been missing school... Besides he is 17. What did you do at 17?
Hahahahahaha!!!! My thoughts exactly. And something like what Sabine described it always possible too...
 

CrookedRock

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Date: 3/12/2009 5:06:23 PM
Author: luckystar112
Eh, I was pretty bad in high school (and yes, with boys...). I totally snuck them in my house, and snuck in their house too. I guess I was just a little trampy compared to the rest of you. haha!
I still wonder why no neighbors ever told on me.
Finally someone admits it!!! LOL I knew not all PS''ers were angels!

Seriously though... I started dating FI at 17. I remember the first time he stayed at the house and my Mom didn''t know til the next am when she woke me up for school. He was in college at the time and home for spring break. She cried and yelled a lil, but the next day she came to me and told me she was just happy that I wasn''t sneaking around.
 

kama_s

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I, personally, wouldn''t have told on him. He''s almost 18, in less than a year he goes away for college/university. There''s only so long until parents can control their kids. I am the legal guardian of my 18 yr old brother (just turned 18 this past weekend), and as long as I know he''s responsible for himself and others with him, I dont care what he''s doing. Ofcourse, we''ve had the safe sex and the know your drinking limit talk.

As a 17 year old, I''d also be incredibly pissed at any neighbor who told on me. To be absolutely honest, my life is none of their business!

Now here''s the thing, if I''d seen some kid doing hard drugs or if it was a much younger kid with a girl, then YES, I would have informed their parents.
 

JSM

Brilliant_Rock
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18 would be a totally different story, though. Even forgetting about the girlfriend, at 17 your parents are still responsible for your actions, and he is skipping school.
 

kittybean

Ideal_Rock
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Hmm, I might have casually mentioned to his parents that he was home during the day, and they could do what they wished with that information.

I probably wouldn''t have mentioned anything about the girl, but that''s only because I''d feel self-conscious and awkward saying anything, and I''d feel too much like it was not my business. I know other people feel differently, but I think the awkwardness would win out for me.
 
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