I just let a strange man into our house ... mistake?

[kenny]

Long story warning.

While I was walking our dogs I noticed someone threw away a very nice large and expensive propane BBQ/grill/oven (apparently in excellent condition) with a motorized rotisserie, very high quality and probably $1000+ when new.
Just last night I used our rusted out old Webber cheapie charcoal grill and I was thinking it was time to replace it.
I rushed back with a dolly and straps to roll it down the sidewalk to our house.
I'm not too proud, or whatever, to take another person's 'trash' if it's groovy enough.

Thirty minutes later I heard a knock at our door.
That only happens maybe once a month, if that ... and that is always someone selling crap or arrogantly regurgitating their religion.
I was concerned it was the people who had the grill and they did not intend to throw it away.
That's the only reason I answered the door (I usually don't).
I would have apologized profusely and given it back.

It was a man, about 50, who said he grew up in our house, which is almost 100 years old.
Just last night my next door neighbor told me there were a bunch of recent break-in in our neighborhood so I was suspicious.
But he offered descriptions of very obscure details of the interior that only a person who lived here would know.
A guest would not know the things he knew.
I'm pretty jaded and skeptical, but think I have good radar about people.

He also offered his name and it matched the last name of mail I still get 15 years after buying the house.
That name was 'carved' into the cement around the house.
I trusted him.
I invited him in and we had a delightful 30-minute visit touring the house.
He told me lots of his family history as it relates to the house.
After he met our dogs he said they had a dog of similar size but gray.
Sure nuff I found two pics of such a dog when I moved in.

One reason I was sympathetic to his claim is ... I did the exact same thing once.
Long ago I happened to be close so I drove to my childhood house in the midwest and knocked on the door.
No answer, so I knocked on the neighbor's door.
They answered and let me in.
Same family still lived there and we spent a delightful hour or so chewing the fat about the past.

Would you have let this man in?

 

[Indylady]

Had something similar happen to me at my old house, but the other party was actually a student at the same university I was studying at at the time, and in the same relatively small program. I did let her in. There was a toilet and sink stored in a weird side room in the basement. It turns out there was actually a bathroom down there once. And, her name, too, was carved in a random spot in the basement. The house looked crappy when I lived in it, but apparently, it was even crappier when she lived in it. That was interesting since I imagined it must have been nicer in the past. Maybe it was, even further back. Who knows. She was a foster child, left the system on her own at 16-17 and moved into the basement level of the house with some friends in high school.

 

[aljdewey]

No, I wouldn't, and I had also done the same thing once many years ago in revisiting military housing I'd once lived in.

But today (with much more age under my belt and healthier appreciation for how dangerous it could be), I'd not ask to go into a stranger's home or permit someone I didn't know to enter mine.

 

[dk168]

Hmmmm, I live on my own, and not exactly a tidy person, therefore, I am unlikely to let a stranger into my house.

DK

 

[kenny]

Hmmmm, I live on my own, and not exactly a tidy person, therefore, I am unlikely to let a stranger into my house.

DK

I warned him that we are slobs.
He didn't care, which makes sense.
To him it was just a stroll down memory lane.
Besides, he didn't look like Mr. Perfect either, which might have made me more suspicious.

One factor ... I'm a man.
I can totally understand a woman not letting this man in.
BTW, he did not ask to come in.

Anyway, I felt I just gave a very very meaningful gift to a fellow human being.
I'm glad I didn't let fear ruin this beautiful moment.

 

[arkieb1]

We had the same thing happen with an elderly couple about 10 years ago. We got a letter from the wife a few years later to say that her husband died and he was really happy to visit here and talk to us (they gave us old photos of the place as well) before he died.

 

[lambskin]

That happen to us but the lady was quite old and was with another old lady. I am so curious to see what the owners of the house I grew up in have done to it. I am so paranoid now but I guess it all depends on the situation at the moment.

 

[wakingdreams53]

Love your story, Kenny!! It's not like he knocked on your door and you let him right in. You ensured that it wasn't a scam, however opening up your door to a stranger always holds risk. He could've honestly lived there, presented the facts and ended up being a serial killer. Naturally that's an absolute worst case scenario, but I like to have faith in humanity and not assume everyone is a latent homicidal maniac.

I've driven past my childhood home, but never dared to knock on the door. If I ever find myself out there, I'll gather up the courage to knock on the door.

 

[Karl_K]

I would have let him in.
No it was not a mistake.

 

[swingirl]

You both enjoyed a good chat. Everyone went away happier than before he came to your front door. No mistake.

 

[monarch64]

No, I don't think so. I think you did your immediate due diligence by using your noggin and intuition/experience.

Glad you had the experience. And I'm glad he meant you no harm..."knowing" you on PS for so many years, I've come to care about your well-being and I'd be very upset if anything ever happened to you.

Tell us more of the story sometime?

ETA: Kenny, I am not sure where to mention this but I'll just put it here. A few weeks ago my dear husband brought home an upright Kimball. It was free, and it needs some work (minor, haha!) but it'll do for now til we can afford that Charles Walter. The bench is really nice! Came with a free hymnal (accidental, oops) and everything. Kiddo loves it. What more can we ask? Your grill story reminded me. Thanks again for your fantastic recommendation re the CW brand.

 

[beaujolais]

Kewl.

Now, does your new found grill work well, btw?

 

[kenny]

Kewl.

Now, does your new found grill work well, btw?

When I get some time I must buy a propane tank to check it out.
Thanks for asking.

 

[asscherisme]

Long story warning.

While I was walking our dogs I noticed someone threw away a very nice large and expensive propane BBQ/grill/oven (apparently in excellent condition) with a motorized rotisserie, very high quality and probably $1000+ when new.
Just last night I used our rusted out old Webber cheapie charcoal grill and I was thinking it was time to replace it.
I rushed back with a dolly and straps to roll it down the sidewalk to our house.
I'm not too proud, or whatever, to take another person's 'trash' if it's groovy enough.

Thirty minutes later I heard a knock at our door.
That only happens maybe once a month, if that ... and that is always someone selling crap or arrogantly regurgitating their religion.
I was concerned it was the people who had the grill and they did not intend to throw it away.
That's the only reason I answered the door (I usually don't).
I would have apologized profusely and given it back.

It was a man, about 50, who said he grew up in our house, which is almost 100 years old.
Just last night my next door neighbor told me there were a bunch of recent break-in in our neighborhood so I was suspicious.
But he offered descriptions of very obscure details of the interior that only a person who lived here would know.
A guest would not know the things he knew.
I'm pretty jaded and skeptical, but think I have good radar about people.

He also offered his name and it matched the last name of mail I still get 15 years after buying the house.
That name was 'carved' into the cement around the house.
I trusted him.
I invited him in and we had a delightful 30-minute visit touring the house.
He told me lots of his family history as it relates to the house.
After he met our dogs he said they had a dog of similar size but gray.
Sure nuff I found two pics of such a dog when I moved in.

One reason I was sympathetic to his claim is ... I did the exact same thing once.
Long ago I happened to be close so I drove to my childhood house in the midwest and knocked on the door.
No answer, so I knocked on the neighbor's door.
They answered and let me in.
Same family still lived there and we spent a delightful hour or so chewing the fat about the past.

Would you have let this man in?

I would not have let him in but now that you did it, I would not stress about it.

Like your neighborhood there have been a lot of break ins where I live plus I tend to be a bit paranoid about strangers because I'm a single mom with kids at home.

But that being said, I have had a very similar experience on the other end. About 10 years ago when I was still married, my ex and I were in my hometown visiting relatives and I decided to take him and my kids to see the house I grew up in from birth until my parents divorced when I was 7. When we stopped in front of the house in our car, the owners happened to be outside. A couple in their 60s. They came over to the car and I told them I grew up in the house and the year I moved out as a child because of my parents divorce. they said it was the same year they bought it. They asked my parents last name and their faced bighted because they said it was the people they bought the house from and they knew they had a young daughter and son at the time. They asked me what the deal with my parents was because they house was in a shambles when they moved in and they almost did not go through with the close because of the damage that occurred between contract and close. I told them it was sold during a bitter divorce and I described how my mother had her boyfriend steal some of the furniture and I remember them accidentally putting a hole in the wall and tearing off the banister to the upstairs moving stuff in a hurry. And my parents bitter violent fights. Plus I described a chip in the kitchen tile floor from my mother slamming a plate in anger. I also described the Disney murals my dad had painted in my room and my brothers room. That was enough for them to believe I really did live in the house and they invited me and my ex and kids inside! It was such a great experience and I loved seeing the house. They were really excited to meet me because they told me they had worried what happened to the kids from the house because they could tell it was an unhappy home from the way they found it. Wow., just Wow. It was awesome seeing the home and how they updated it and it seemed like such a happy place where they raised their kids and their grandkids come visit them.

 

[kenny]

No, I don't think so. I think you did your immediate due diligence by using your noggin and intuition/experience.

Glad you had the experience. And I'm glad he meant you no harm..."knowing" you on PS for so many years, I've come to care about your well-being and I'd be very upset if anything ever happened to you.

Tell us more of the story sometime?

ETA: Kenny, I am not sure where to mention this but I'll just put it here. A few weeks ago my dear husband brought home an upright Kimball. It was free, and it needs some work (minor, haha!) but it'll do for now til we can afford that Charles Walter. The bench is really nice! Came with a free hymnal (accidental, oops) and everything. Kiddo loves it. What more can we ask? Your grill story reminded me. Thanks again for your fantastic recommendation re the CW brand.

Cool, or kewl as our diamond designer would say.
Enjoy your piano.

Let's see, what else did my visitor say today?
As a kid he thought the basement was haunted, since few houses around here have them.
As we walked around he reminisced what was where and what colors things were.
He said, "The TV was there." ... we moved a desk and sure nuff there was an old TV antenna outlet on the wall.

His dad died under a tree outside of a sudden heart attack, but died doing what he loved, gardening.
His dad worked for the CIA and was ultra patriotic so there were two flagpoles (now gone) on the property.
We scraped away some dirt and quickly found the cement bases for them, with rusted-out round metal pole remains in the cement.

He also answered many questions I had about this quirky old house.
He said if I ever want to sell to call him.

I could tell it was a very emotional experience for him.
I'm glad I could oblige.

 

[thecat]

Kenny, you're nice to invite him into your house for him to walk down memory lane. You only let you in after much verification. You enjoyed knowing the history of the house and he had a pleasant afternoon. No mistake.

 

[Karl_K]

Kewl.

Now, does your new found grill work well, btw?

When I get some time I must buy a propane tank to check it out.
Thanks for asking.

If the shell is good everything else is replaceable and not expensive if your handy with tools.
The most common problems are:
ignitor is out, 20 bucks for kit, generic is ok. - light with grill lighter to check if it doesn't fire up. can get blocked by rust at times.
bugs blocking venturi tubes - free! check it!. - look under it for tube with holes in them, clean them out just on general principles before firing it up.
incinerator rail rusted out $25=50 generic ok, make sure its stainless.
Burners rusted out, $20-$100 depending on grill and how many are bad. aftermarket is fine, they are all junk and will rust out so don't spend more than you have too.
regulator $20-$40 if you just replace the regulator but its a pain to do right and dangerous if not done right.
Regulator and valve assemble $30- $120 use oem! or be very very careful with aftermarket! if it is 1/3 the price of oem run! A good aftermarket will be over 60% of oem.
Racks can get expensive so shop around. Prices are all over the place.

Amazon has most parts listed otherwise google there are tons of sites selling parts.

Get a grill cover once you know it works.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Karl.
I know nothing about these fancy propane grills.
I've always had the cheaper charcoal grills.

It also has a separate burner on the right side under a cover.
The whole thing is stainless steel.

 

[monarch64]

Such a cool/happy story, Kenny. Thank you for sharing!

 

[TooPatient]

Kenny, so sweet!

Mistake? In this case I think you did just exactly right.

Now... If the guy were younger and giving off unsafe feelings (TOO carefully dressed, TOO interested, etc) then I'd say don't do it.

If I was home with DH (and we lived in a house with some history -- as in built before the 1970s) and an older man/woman came up like you just had, I'd probably have them in for coffee/tea and show them around just as you did.
Home alone? They'd be lucky if I answered the door and IF they could convince me they were okay (on the porch) I'd have them come back later when I wasn't alone.

 

[Sky56]

I long ago did it once - reversed roles. I was the one asking to see my childhood home, and the owners let me in. It was a wonderful experience and I am grateful they did it. The house had been remodeled to the point where it was not very familiar- looking. That was great you did it, kenny.

 

[justginger]

I would have likely let him in as well, if the vibes were safe. Maybe not though, as a small woman who was home alone. Perhaps I would have invited him over for dinner when DH could be there instead.

I have only been away from my childhood home for 9 years now - probably not long enough to necessitate asking to be invited in. I do drive past when I am back in the States though, and I wonder if the new owners have sanded out my name that was carved into the windowsill of my room.

 

[missy]

I trust my gut and I would have let him in. If the vibes were good and you were feeling he was genuine then yes. You did a kind and nice thing and I am sure he appreciated it. How nice to be able to go back and see your childhood/young adult home. Good for you Kenny.

 

[MarionC]

You did a very special for him that he will never forget.

I took my young daughter to the house I grew up in. When we knocked on the door I told her to take a quick look around through the doorway. Instead, the woman invited us in and told us to make ourselves at home!
She went back to baking cookies and we explored the whole house, even the little attic behind my bedroom closet.

It was a huge gift to me to be able to go in the house.
You done good.

That said, don't ever let a man in your house again [[[spank]]] no matter how strange he is!

 

[JewelFreak]

That's a great story and experience, Kenny. By the time you asked him in, you were sure he wasn't a con artist & I'm sure you gave him something to remember forever. Neat to have your questions answered too, and to know more about the place. The history of a house adds a lot to our enjoyment of it, I think.

I rang the doorbell of the house I grew up in when I was in town for a high school reunion. The owners were very nice too, even though I interrupted their lunch. They did a lot of remodeling to the kitchen area & it looked just fabulous -- I was blown away & told them so. The house was 200 yrs old then -- and they told me what they found underground when they moved the foundation, fascinating. I felt too silly to ask them about the ghosts we used to see & hear.

One time a woman came to DH's & my door, said she grew up there & could she show her 2 teenagers? It had changed a lot since her time -- 2 additions, & she showed me where the walls used to be & talked about their dog when she lived there, etc. I don't think the kids were thrilled but she was. The upstairs was a basket case, messy, so I didn't take her up there. It was a lovely hour or so.

A house has a personality, so knowing more about its past helps us know it better. You did good!

--- Laurie

 

[Laila619]

I am a woman and I would not feel comfortable letting any man I didn't know in my house. However, I'm glad it was fine and you had a good visit.

 

[Jennifer W]

I've done the same, and it was nice to connect with former custodian of our old house. We were able to give the gentleman who visited an old family photograph belonging to his parents, that we'd found in the attic. It meant a great deal to him and I am so glad we got the chance to do that. He gave us some interesting history about the house, the railway station it used to be, and the generations of his family who lived here.

I'm not particularly fearful in general, and I live in as safe a place as any, I never gave it a second though. Mind you, he was also a frail elderly person and taking a bigger chance on me than I was on him, I'd say.

 

[kenny]

We were able to give the gentleman who visited an old family photograph belonging to his parents, that we'd found in the attic.

Funny you mention finding a photo.

Same here.
My visitor mentioned his mom stored pics in the basement but, oddly, burned them all shortly before she died.
The kids are sad they have very few old family pics.
When I bought the house I moved the water heater out of the basement and into the garage because it was not properly vented and would be too expensive to fix.
I found two old family pics under the water heater and promised to mail them to him when/if I find him in this cluttered junk pile we call home.

 

[Jennifer W]

Oh, I hope you find them to pass on. I wish I'd taken a copy of ours, not that it was my family, but because he 'belonged' to the house in a way, it would have been nice to keep a copy. We actually found another one more recently, which I framed and hung in our study with all the other old family pictures, because I know who he is now, and I like having him around. The photos were taken on the day he left for WW1 (he came home, so it's not a sad ending). I got it copied before it was framed, so if the previous family ever come back, I can give them the original. I wish I'd got contact details.

 

[kenny]

Good idea.
Thanks for the suggestion.
I'll be sure to take a pic of the pics before giving them to him.