I have obeyed Kenny today.
He said to me recently that until I stick up for myself I will continue to post threads that are vents. So today I stuck up for myself. I am nothing if not obedient. Man, it felt good. The sticking-up, not the being obedient to Kenny.
We are a close-knit tiny little town and everyone gets along, for the most part. We frequently go to each others' houses for dinner, parties, and board games. People range in age from thirties to nineties, with a concentration 45-52.
Everything was fine for ten years until one couple started causing problems. Last year they invited everyone to a New Year's Eve party except my family and I, including all our good friends. I was so upset about a recent bereavement that I didn't notice too much, and we all stayed in, and another family member came round.
At a subsequent brunch that we held, this couple did come but only stayed a short time and made false excuses to leave. They are the only couple that never invites our family back. We always include them. This is a small community and everyone always invites everyone else to things so no one is excluded or hurt, and there are no bad feelings. We know some lonely people, and some that, OK, we're not 100% sold on, but we don't believe in isolating others who are an established part of a social group. We don't have a problem inviting everyone. I can't bear to hurt someone's feelings and leave them sitting home alone while everyone is socializing without them. (Unless someone is completely awful, and no one here is like that.)
So, this year rolls around. We were invited to a posh country club do, and since we didn't have anything else to do, and had a feeling we would be excluded again from the couple's this year, we said yes. It's cost $125 per person, which we didn't really want to spend but knew we would be home alone otherwise. Then we find out that, yes, once again, this couple are having a New Year's Eve party and have invited everyone in the group except us, including all our good friends! I was really upset - and today is the first anniversary of my best friend's death, so it's not the day to mess with me. (We had been friends since the Sixties, imagine.)
I was so mad. I thought, Is it going to be like this every year from now on, that my family and I have to make alternative arrangements or sit home alone because this one couple invites all our friends to a party and leaves us out? We used to hold a New Year's Eve party and invite everyone in the social group, and now this couple are purposely isolating and excluding us each New Year's Eve. So, I called the guy and confronted him. I told him that we could never have a NYE party now because they swipe all the friends and don't invite us, and that we always invite them to ours because we don't like to hurt others' feelings, and we don't exclude others because we are not eleven, etc. He gave me the equivalent of "the dog ate my homework" by saying that he was going to text us and invite us this afternoon (it was already 3pm!) I asked him what his excuse was for last year.
Anyway, there was no way I was going to stand by and let this couple commandeer New Year's Eve and all our friends for the second year without telling them exactly what I thought, because they would only do the same next year, too. I also sent a few choice messages with my thoughts to our best mutual friend and I know it will all get back to them. I have also told everyone else in the group about their behaviour and people are pretty appalled.
The guy was apologetic and when I said that he'd put us in the position of being alone he was like, "There is no way I'm having a NYE party next year." I think it's his wife who is the troublemaker and he is caught in the middle between her and his friendship with my family.
Whether it was a good idea to confront them or not, everyone in the group is totally aware of my feelings and what the couple have done, and it feels really, really good!
Our evening will be expensive but glam, and although we didn't want to spend $125 per person on a party, we will enjoy the lovely food and surroundings and it will be better than sitting in their stupid living room eating pizza.
He said to me recently that until I stick up for myself I will continue to post threads that are vents. So today I stuck up for myself. I am nothing if not obedient. Man, it felt good. The sticking-up, not the being obedient to Kenny.
We are a close-knit tiny little town and everyone gets along, for the most part. We frequently go to each others' houses for dinner, parties, and board games. People range in age from thirties to nineties, with a concentration 45-52.
Everything was fine for ten years until one couple started causing problems. Last year they invited everyone to a New Year's Eve party except my family and I, including all our good friends. I was so upset about a recent bereavement that I didn't notice too much, and we all stayed in, and another family member came round.
At a subsequent brunch that we held, this couple did come but only stayed a short time and made false excuses to leave. They are the only couple that never invites our family back. We always include them. This is a small community and everyone always invites everyone else to things so no one is excluded or hurt, and there are no bad feelings. We know some lonely people, and some that, OK, we're not 100% sold on, but we don't believe in isolating others who are an established part of a social group. We don't have a problem inviting everyone. I can't bear to hurt someone's feelings and leave them sitting home alone while everyone is socializing without them. (Unless someone is completely awful, and no one here is like that.)
So, this year rolls around. We were invited to a posh country club do, and since we didn't have anything else to do, and had a feeling we would be excluded again from the couple's this year, we said yes. It's cost $125 per person, which we didn't really want to spend but knew we would be home alone otherwise. Then we find out that, yes, once again, this couple are having a New Year's Eve party and have invited everyone in the group except us, including all our good friends! I was really upset - and today is the first anniversary of my best friend's death, so it's not the day to mess with me. (We had been friends since the Sixties, imagine.)
I was so mad. I thought, Is it going to be like this every year from now on, that my family and I have to make alternative arrangements or sit home alone because this one couple invites all our friends to a party and leaves us out? We used to hold a New Year's Eve party and invite everyone in the social group, and now this couple are purposely isolating and excluding us each New Year's Eve. So, I called the guy and confronted him. I told him that we could never have a NYE party now because they swipe all the friends and don't invite us, and that we always invite them to ours because we don't like to hurt others' feelings, and we don't exclude others because we are not eleven, etc. He gave me the equivalent of "the dog ate my homework" by saying that he was going to text us and invite us this afternoon (it was already 3pm!) I asked him what his excuse was for last year.
Anyway, there was no way I was going to stand by and let this couple commandeer New Year's Eve and all our friends for the second year without telling them exactly what I thought, because they would only do the same next year, too. I also sent a few choice messages with my thoughts to our best mutual friend and I know it will all get back to them. I have also told everyone else in the group about their behaviour and people are pretty appalled.
The guy was apologetic and when I said that he'd put us in the position of being alone he was like, "There is no way I'm having a NYE party next year." I think it's his wife who is the troublemaker and he is caught in the middle between her and his friendship with my family.
Whether it was a good idea to confront them or not, everyone in the group is totally aware of my feelings and what the couple have done, and it feels really, really good!
Our evening will be expensive but glam, and although we didn't want to spend $125 per person on a party, we will enjoy the lovely food and surroundings and it will be better than sitting in their stupid living room eating pizza.