I have no idea how to dress for my age anymore

[House Cat]

Does anyone else have this problem? I am 38 years old and whenever I go shopping, I feel lost. I am too old to wear the junior's clothes and I feel uninspired by the misses department. I look around and see all kinds of women looking fabulous but when I try on the clothes they are wearing, I look silly. So I end up buying the same old thing, t-shirts and jeans or some variation of t-shirts and jeans. I do have a few maxi dresses, but then I wear those out...

I am boring.

Is there any help for someone like me? Can anyone relate?

 

[chrono]

I don't go by what the department stores deem as age appropriate. I get classic staples that I can mix and match, dress up or dress down.

 

[Dee*Jay]

House Cat, you have hit upon something I've been thinking about lately! To be honest, I've never been the snazziest dresser, but I work in a professional financial environment so I am OK from that standpoint because I stick to (as Chrono suggested) the basics. For casual clothes lately though, I've been wondering, especially about jeans. All of the jeans have spandex and are super tight... but is that appropriate for a 42 year old? And I know people say wear what looks good, but what if you are the anomolous 70 year old with a great a$$--should you still be wearing tight jeans? Or at some point do you just resign yourself of the elastic waistbanded Alfred Dunner pants in sorbet colors and sweatshirts with applique kitties? Just last night in anticipation of the Vegas GTG I pulled my favorite lace sundress out of the closet... but do I look like an over-grown 5 year old? I've looked up articles on this topic and they are really no practical help... I will be curious to see if any great ideas come out of this thread because I need them!

 

[TC1987]

The clothing styles for at least the past 7 years have been gawdawful, and they look like rags to me. I sew. I started sewing as a teenager when I wanted riding apparel to show my horse in, but couldn't afford to buy it. After making tailored riding clothes, street clothes, even women's suits, are a breeze. That is my solution: Set my own style and let the imported rags hang on the store shelves until they rot into oblivion.

Alternate: Thrift stores. Honestly, I find better selection and quality there. And I know how to do alterations and re-cuts, too.

 

[packrat]

I don't know how to dress myself either. Not a lot of choices around here, have to drive an hour for the closest place to shop, and that's not really something you can do often or on a whim at $4/gallon, plus finding a sitter or dealing w/the kids while trying to find stuff to try on. Online shopping is hard for me b/c I'm not sure what looks good on me, and the sizing gets difficult. I find some cute outfits on pinterest that I pin, but that doesn't do any good for real life...other than make me wish I were a paper doll so I could play w/the outfits on my board.

 

[rubybeth]

Do you ever look at outfit ideas online, like on Pinterest? That's what I do. I'm trying to not buy any new clothes, so have been 'shopping' my own closet using pieces I already own. Like if I'm bored with how I usually wear khakis, I search "khaki pants outfit" and get lots of ideas. Accessories can be a fun way to punch up your wardrobe, too. I have a few colorful beaded 'statement' necklaces that instantly make a t-shirt and jeans look more styled.

I own a lot of staples and things in solid colors... I mix and match a lot of cardigans in fun colors and classic navy and black, knit tops (not t-shirts exactly, usually have some extra detailing like gathers and scoop or v-necks), and button-down shirts (white, blue, a couple of my favorite colors like coral, hot pink, etc.) and I wear these with either dress pants or column skirts for work or jeans when I'm not at work. In the winter, it's heavier cardigans and some nice pullover sweaters (cashmere, cable knit, etc.). For shoes, I rarely do heels so it's pretty much ballet flats or mary janes in the summer and good leather shoes in the winter. I also have a ridiculous amount of dresses, which are so easy... no matching to worry about, just put on a dress and it's your whole outfit. Toss on a cardigan for extra cold air-conditioning, and go out the door.

I'm 32 and these are things I rarely wear: super low-cut jeans, light color jeans, logo t-shirts, and anything really trendy. My mom is 63 and also avoids these things. She wears dark denim that fit her but aren't overly tight or loose, button-down shirts, knit tops with patterns or embellishments, cardigans, etc. in colors she likes. She and I actually dress pretty similarly, just with our own preferences... I love the color orange and little flower embellishments on shirts, whereas my mom likes bold, colorful patterns.

 

[iluvshinythings]

I've been having the same problem lately. I'm 46 and don't know how to dress myself anymore. I'm not quite ready for track suits and kittie shirts but I'm not comfortable in short skirts and sleeveless shirts either. I work in a professional environment so I try to look professional but I end up wearing a lot of white shirt/black pants type combinations and it gets old. Once I do find something that works, I buy it in every color. I just haven't found anything that really works lately. When I'm not at work I wear sun dresses in the summer and jeans with sweaters in the winter (and lots of yoga pants all year). yawn.

 

[iLander]

Okay, Ladies, I went through this same thing in my early 40's.

I am pushing 50, and I just bought a pair of grey true religion leggings. The kind with spandex, they are tight. And oddly comfortable. BUT I wear them with classy collared shirts, that cover some of the butt, but not all of it (how many times can I say but in one sentence?). I wear them with a nice white shirt from Express, or a collared white shirt with black circles.

So, yes, you can and should wear the tight, lower jeans, but I do not like blue denim.

For shirts and blouses, look for collars, unusual but clean cuts, or solid colored knits. I don't wear prints often, I prefer to buy things in just a few simple colors. I try to look classy and elegant, and simple is the key to that. You want to wear the clothes, they shouldn't wear you. Notice none of the models are wearing skimmers or culottes. Those just shorten your legs, IMHO.

Here's a bunch of Saks links to give you a ROUGH idea; http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306418056&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446564836&R=884492863073&P_name=Milly&N=1553+306418056&bmUID=jXTpX1G

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306418056&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446602854&R=454436767363&P_name=9%7C15&N=1553+306418056&bmUID=jXTqhzz

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306594396&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446565599&R=801303842614&P_name=Nanette+Lepore&N=1553+306594396&bmUID=jXTqXlw

HATE the pants on this one, but I like the shirt with a tank top under; http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306594396&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446546054&R=886945171056&P_name=Catherine+Malandrino&N=1553+306594396&bmUID=jXTuHPA

I DON'T wear t-shirts with words of any kind, I'm just too old for that (except around the house). I also stick to either a pair of black medium heels or flats. I don't wear tunics, they make me look fat. I pick things that are shaped. Don't buy anything with a peplum, those are on their way out. Think interesting details, but not busy.

H&M is fabulous for fitted collared basic shirts, but they run small. I usually wear a 6, but I'm a 10 there.
So that's my advice, hope that helps.

 

[kenny]

I've never dressed very well and as I age I go even more for comfort over style.
Frankly my SO buys all my clothes at thrift stores.
He loves to shop and I don't.
I have no clue what's in style.

I'm very tight with money in almost everything so I can better enjoy a few luxuries I value.
I think style and fashion is just a way to get you to buy new clothes before the old ones wear out ... but to each their own.

You'll usually find me in shorts, a tank top and flip flops.
I'm a very comfortable California slob.

 

[JewelFreak]

iLander, you must be built right for those leggings. I'd look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in them. They can be risky for over-40 types. Lucky you to have it covered! I just HATE HATE spandex jeans, will not wear them. I stick to khakis or cotton or linen slacks, in colors sometimes, but not real bright or I'd look like an overgrown 6-year-old.

The key, to me, is to stay classical. Simple, but that doesn't mean no ornamentation, just that it shouldn't take over the garment. Generally I wear bright-colored shirts because I look good in them, and as high-quality fabric as I can afford. Makes a big difference; good fabrics hold their shape & help you feel luxurious. I could never wear a top like the Saks one with uneven hemline -- I'm too short. I generally don't go for styles that a really trendy -- too young on me & they're gone by next year.

I like the idea of accessorizing -- with a flashy scarf, unusual belt, or jewelry. There is nothing like jewelry to make an old bag like me feel glamorous!

--- Laurie

 

[Circe]

I actually love being in my mid-thirties: I hated the uniform of jeans, jeans, jeans, and now I don't feel overdressed when I wear the vintage clothes I love. My casual default tends to be a full skirt, anywhere from several inches above the knee to floor-length with a fitted top: when I teach, I'm generally garbed in a nice pair of dress pants - Banana Republic, Tahari, and J. Crew are all great for these - with a button-down shirt (I think I mentioned this before, but Tracy M is GENIUS for the busty ladies - button-downs with stretchy panels down the sides) and some kind of interesting jacket. And let us not forget the glory that is the dress ... and entire outfit in one garment! Woohoo! Dressing is never easier than in a dress.

 

[CharmedOne]

Circe, Thanks for the Tracy M tip. I love button down tops but I don't wear them because the girls sometimes have a mind of their own.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I love The Vivienne Files. Janice, the blog's author, puts together amazing outfits and wardrobes (yeah, you need several of her core wardrobes to get through life) using everything from LL Bean to amazing Hermes scarves.

 

[Sparklelu]

Ha I was just looking in my closet and thought I must be multiple personalities!
I still have stuff in there from 2001!

I'm 56 and live in Fl where it is a bit more casual but I teach so I need to look professional. Recently one of my students mentioned MrsC you always wear a colorful printed shirt!

I realized I have gone to patterned dressy tops and black, navy, grey or khaki capris. I have 5 pair of black pants , and 3 pr of khaki.
Now that is spring/summer I've got white added to the mix and a pair of pink and white gingham pants I love!!!!
It makes dressing easy in the morning.
I also dress classic it lasts. I love Anne Taylor, Lilly Pulitzer and Talbots, vineyard vines sales are pretty good. Target has Merona jeans that fit me well and I wear them.
I'm big on cardigans and layers.

 

[portia]

I had the same issue right around age 40. Glad to hear I'm not alone. It took me a while to figure it out. I used some of the online tools (pinterest, polyvore, purseforum and various fashion blogs) for ideas. I think the key is figuring out what looks good on your body type and go from there.

I found what works for me is mixing tailored or feminine looks with edgy or trendy pieces to update it. My go-tos are dark wash straight legs jeans or pants, pencil skirts, heels, modern tailored blazers, button down collared shirts (I love Equipment brand), tunics, long cardigans, and then throw on one or two trendy or unique items. I also love maxi and midi dresses. ShopBop and Net-A-Porter are great for online shopping, but you have to really look through the ShopBop stuff since a lot of it is young looking (to me). I also love Saks, NM, and Nordstrom.

iLander, you go girl!! I'm 45 and I wear tight jeans, too! I'm not giving them up just yet!! I have to admit though, I recently bought my first (and last) tee with words. It says 'Foie Gras Athletic Club'. I couldn't pass that one up. It's too funny!!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Have you looked at Ann Taylor Loft, or the Loft? I just turned 40, and think that their clothes look fresh, bright and have age-appropriate fit. For eg, they have bright trendy colors for summer shorts, but they are not teeny-bopper length..... They also have a range of styles from casual to business casual.
I work at a very young and hip company, so I don't think I could ever look like I dress too young. The CEO who is in his 60's wears Vans or converse tennies every day....so what I'm trying to say is, you can take cues from people around you...I still wear skinny jeans, short denim skirts or bright colored Jeans to work 'cos it fits the culture. I also wear jeggings and knee-high boots in the winter. If you can rock it, wear it.

 

[Matata]

I get clothes the lazy way -- I go to a boutique and let them pick out clothes that they think will look good on me. They're usually right. There are some things I don't try on because they look ugly on a hangar yet look great on. I take what I learn from the boutique staffers about which styles look ok on me and then shop for bargains elsewhere.

 

[distracts]

Ugh yes. I am in my mid-twenties and I feel like all my friends manage to look really polished in their casual clothes, whereas I just dress in jeans and w00t or thinkgeek tshirts. I have a lot of nice business clothes for work, and cute workout clothes, it's the nice casual clothes I'm missing! My friends have cute lace-overlay blouses and all sorts of things and just, idk, I can't really find any that I feel are okay. I only wear dresses for fancy occasions because I love sitting cross-legged and that just doesn't work with those, lol.

My mom dresses really nicely, but she does the "have about ten outfits and just rewear those" thing. Maybe that is better.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yeah, but I live in a region that is voted one of the worst dressed cities in America, so I use this to my advantage and wear whatever I want. Mostly jeans and sweaters & shirts. An easy way to make over numerous t-shirts and jeans is buy some fun shoes to jazz up your look. Nordstrom Rack is a good place to get deals on shoes that are fun but may not be worn more than a couple times a month and you might not want to spend as much on b/c of that. They also don't require much thinking - just grab black t-shirt, jeans, & a pair of the fun shoes and walk out the door.

Oh, and I was hoping to jazz up my look (just turned 40 and went down a couple of dress sizes) so one easy thing I found are skirts that are just above the knee with spring/summer/floral prints...they can be worn w/blouses or t-shirts.

 

[amc80]

Ugh yes. I am in my mid-twenties and I feel like all my friends manage to look really polished in their casual clothes, whereas I just dress in jeans and w00t or thinkgeek tshirts.

That about describes what I wear. I get to wear jeans to work, so it's jeans and polos most days. I'm 33 and feel like I dress way too young. I think when I'm done losing baby weight I will get some more age appropriate clothes. I've found a few looks on Pinterest that I really like...sort of the jean/cardigan/lots of cute accessories look. I will attach a pic of a look I really like.

 

[CharmedOne]

I'm 43 and since I have been a SAHM for most of the last 18 years, wearing anything other that sweats and jeans, makes me feel dressed up. I know sad but true. I do love those prairie skirts, a nice pretty tunic and some comfy flats or a little wedge by Born. Which I love by the way, their shoes are like walking on clouds. But I think that ensemble is roomy, comfortable and looks really nice. I was also thinking about the fact that I hardly ever wear make up. I'm not opposed to it at all, it just seems like I never have the time to put it on. I must say, just a little bit of make up and a jersey type blouse with my jeans along with some cute little shoes instead of sneakers, makes me feel a lot better about my attire for the day. I also like wearing a loose fitting blazer with a tee shirt and cuff the blazers sleeves. I really think that looks put together with a nice pair of jeans. The key for me is, it has to be comfortable and something I can chase a five year old around in.

 

[CharmedOne]

Amc80, that bag with the bow is really, really cute!

 

[missy]

I just dress in what looks best on me and not so much according to an age. I am very pro vintage and much of my wardrobe is vintage. The vintage I do though is usually from the high end vintage shops (which are expensive unfortunately) and not the thrift stores (though I occasionally have luck with the thrift stores as well).

I love slightly above the knee dresses because they are so easy and always look smart. I also love A line skirts and fitted blouses. In the cool weather I primarily wear knee length boots (love DUO boots because they fit your leg perfectly and I own about a dozen pairs of these boots) and they look polished with any dress or skirt. The key is fit. If everything fits well you are going to look polished.

Unlike some others here I just love tunics (fitted tunics that is) and pair them with very slim fitting pants or leggings. I wear leggings as tights and I love the look on me. With my leggings I will also wear shorter dresses and my knee length boots. It's an easy versatile outfit on me and I always get compliments on my wardrobe.

Warmer weather is slightly more difficult for me because I prefer the cooler weather. When it is warm I wear sleeveless usually (I get warm easily-always have) and I pair it with a knee length or above knee length skirt with flats or low heel shoes. I don't do heels unless it is a fancy evening affair and even then they are going to have to be comfortable or else I am not wearing them. I also don't wear shorts and rarely wear jeans. I never cared for shorts (once I hit my adult years at least) so it's either skirts, dresses or capris. I have longer legs so capris look good on me but when the weather is really hot I go for the skirts or dresses.

IMO you should wear what you feel good about wearing and what makes you feel attractive. It's hard to go wrong if you are feeling good in what you are wearing. (As long as you use common sense that is ).

 

[lknvrb4]

I am 36 and have the same problem. My staple outfit is jeans and a tshirt, but then I do daycare out of my home. On the weekends I will wear jeans and a nicer shirt but that is it. If my budget allowed me, I would own everything from Sundance because that is my style of dress if I had the budget.

 

[Christina...]

Ugh yes. I am in my mid-twenties and I feel like all my friends manage to look really polished in their casual clothes, whereas I just dress in jeans and w00t or thinkgeek tshirts.

That about describes what I wear. I get to wear jeans to work, so it's jeans and polos most days. I'm 33 and feel like I dress way too young. I think when I'm done losing baby weight I will get some more age appropriate clothes. I've found a few looks on Pinterest that I really like...sort of the jean/cardigan/lots of cute accessories look. I will attach a pic of a look I really like.

I LOLed when I saw this pic. This looks exactly like the outfit I just laid out to wear today. well, with flip flops instead of the super cute ballerinas.

I turn 40 this year and have the same problem. I feel like I'm dressing all wrong! Most people think that I'm much younger than I am (I am NOT complaining) but I think sometimes that it's because maybe I'm dressing too young? I have a weird body, great big boobs and broad shoulders, and no waist hips or neck...I'm actually built exactly like a boy but with jugs! So, the tight boot cut jeans look good on me, and short shorts and skirts, and really deep v cut tops, (or well turtlenecks to hide my lack of neck, but who can wear those in the summer?). So, when I put tight jeans or short shorts on with a low cut top....YIKES!! Thus why I cover up with a cardi, but again it's summer and who can do that? It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one going through this.

Anyone else have trouble with sizes? One brand of jeans I wear one size, another brand two sizes larger or smaller. And I hate the spandex-y crap that they put in them now...I sit down for 20 mins and it looks like I have droopy butt! Ditto for tops, if I buy them to fit well over my chest, they bag out around my waist and it looks like a maternity shirt. People must think that I'm constantly pregnant, which might be why they think I'm younger than I am....or it's my beautiful DH who is almost 10 years younger. Can you say COUGAR! ROAR!

 

[iLander]

This is pretty much what I wear, (even the hair and sunglasses) but with dull shoes. Of course, I don't look hot like this, but the outfit is right. I think I am going to try the hotter shoes! Not exactly this pair, but something with some color and interest.

 

[VRBeauty]

I don't rock the super-skinny jeans look, and wouldn't have even when I was young and super-skinny. I recently found a pair of jeans I like at (gasp!) Chico's. They're labeled "slim fit" but they have a straight leg that isn't too tapered. I was really surprised to find jeans I like there since I don't like the way most of their clothes fit me.

Like some others here stock up on neutral bottoms in fairly classic shapes - pencil skirts and flaired skirts, a few full skirts, semi-tailored pants. I pair them with sweaters, surplice tops, knit shirts, etc... and then finish it off with jewelry, of course! In the past few years I've also added dresses, especially semi-fitted sheaths in the summer. Like Circe said, they're super-easy to wear. I have several shrugs or short cardigans to wear with them.

I second the Ann Taylor suggestion. I always check out their sale offerings when I happen to be at the mall!

 

[Boatluvr]

I'm a bit older than some of you (early 60's) but I thought I'd throw my two cents in. I stick to tailored shirts, nice fitting jeans (I really do like the NYDJ), boots, blazers/jackets. I have a couple of skirts but I really don't wear them much - maybe for 'dress up'. I work with a bunch of twenty somethings, so it's important to me to look put together, but not frumpy (I'm on the chunky side). I still love the look of nice jeans and a tailored/men's shirt or chinos with a denim shirt. I also accessorize - I love bracelets, earrings and watches. Minimal make up and 'natural' hair (longish, curly, kind of white blonde). It seems to work for me.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

This is pretty much what I wear, (even the hair and sunglasses) but with dull shoes. Of course, I don't look hot like this, but the outfit is right. I think I am going to try the hotter shoes! Not exactly this pair, but something with some color and interest.

Um, if you look like this, then DANG!!!

 

[maccers]

I'm mid-30s and I occasionally struggle with how closely to follow trends. I, too, fill my wardrobe with classic cuts, tailored blouses, pants and dresses and then add pops of colour. For basics, I really like Filippa K (http://www.filippa-k.com/). Their blouses are great and I just bought a classic navy jersey dress with 3/4 sleeves. My other battle is to escape from wearing so much black and charcoal. Navy is turning out to be a great substitute. To add excitement, I'll wear more colourful shoes and accessories.