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I have breast cancer.

monarch64 said:
Thank you from one strong b*tch to another!!!

I spoke to the principal of our daughter’s school a few days ago. She assured me that she will personally keep communication open between herself and A, who is taking an early (before classes officially start every morning) accelerated math class that the principal herself is teaching, so they can maintain an open line of communication. That made me feel much better.

Unfortunately, my ex spouse has obtained a protective order which means I’m not allowed to come near any place they typically go. Nor am I allowed to send digital messages or snail mail, or anything. He has waged full warfare. I never thought he would go this far.

I’ve turned the other cheek so much that my neck has broken. I’ve always felt sorry for him. I still do.

Yes! I have lots of friends (women!) I can count on who are holding me up now and supporting me. We’ve all done so for each other. It’s my turn, and I’ll get better and do it again for them.
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Honestly what a piece of sh*t that man is
I'm disgusted
This is the cruelest thing
What on earth is wrong with him ?
I know stress is not good for you right now
I'm so angry this is happening
 
Daisys and Diamonds said:
Honestly what a piece of sh*t that man is
I'm disgusted
This is the cruelest thing
What on earth is wrong with him ?
I know stress is not good for you right now
I'm so angry this is happening
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This has been ongoing since my daughter was born. He was served this week with all kinds of court papers. My lawyer does not play around with custody issues. She’s known for being a shark which is why I hired her. You know what’s crazy? I don’t feel much stress at all, because one ridiculous thing takes my mind off the other. If I get tired of reading about cancer, I switch to continuing to compile evidence. If I get tired of thinking about his stupidity, I switch back to gathering information about cancer. :lol:
 
monarch64 said:
This has been ongoing since my daughter was born. He was served this week with all kinds of court papers. My lawyer does not play around with custody issues. She’s known for being a shark which is why I hired her. You know what’s crazy? I don’t feel much stress at all, because one ridiculous thing takes my mind off the other. If I get tired of reading about cancer, I switch to continuing to compile evidence. If I get tired of thinking about his stupidity, I switch back to gathering information about cancer. :lol:
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kind of different but relatable
when we had the big earthquake and my sister's house got written off her young son was having all sorts of mental health issues and was in hospital, the new build took her mind of all the other stuff too

less stress is always good !
 
I am so sorry for all that you are going through, all at once. You are in my thoughts. It’s sickening how low some people will actually go. Stay strong, you got this!
 
Stay strong. I am happy you have a shark attorney and an experienced doctor. Goodness knows you need both. Of the two, the husband is the bigger cancer, I feel. There are cures for cancer, narcissists sadly have no cure. Hugs to you.
 
Coming out of hiding to wish you all the best! You’ve got this! You are very strong and have a great attitude. As a nine year pancreatic cancer survivor, I wish you all the Stardust in the world!
 
AprilBaby said:
Coming out of hiding to wish you all the best! You’ve got this! You are very strong and have a great attitude. As a nine year pancreatic cancer survivor, I wish you all the Stardust in the world!
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I did not know you had fought that battle - that is amazing! Don’t hide away - we miss you!!
 
MissGotRocks said:
I did not know you had fought that battle - that is amazing! Don’t hide away - we miss you!!
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Neither did I! I know advances have been made for that form of cancer but didn’t know the extent til recent research on my own. @AprilBaby I am so glad you’re still with us, it is remarkable. I used to visit your neck of the woods out in the west burbs fairly often, so I always liked seeing you here! Like @MissGotRocks said, don’t be a stranger!
 
AprilBaby said:
Coming out of hiding to wish you all the best!
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Aiyeeeee!!!! So good to see you and know you are still keeping up on what's happening here. I hope you are well and happy and I hope you decide to post a little bit more often but if you don't, know that you are missed.

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So sorry to learn this, Monnie. Cancer just sucks!! I am thinking positive thoughts for you and your daughter. I have had many friends who have been treated for breast cancer, and they are all doing quite well, and most are 5 years out. You got this!:whistle:
 
thinking positive thoughts for you Monarch. I was dx with breast cancer 5 years ago. I feel like with my life was divided pre divorce, post divorce in a loss of innocence about core romantic relationship, it's like my life is also divided pre-cancer dx, and post cancer dx. Even though I had medical crises before, I felt like I could "trust" my body. Getting the cancer felt like a -betrayal. As everyone has said there are more knowledge and options than over before. I found the breast cancer forums also very helpful, like if I was experiencing side effects, what people did to cope. As far as what is going on with ex and daughter. It is extremely hurtful and f-up what he is doing. But play the long game. The long game is regaining a good and mutual relationship with your daughter. Use the tools you have. Cry about setbacks. But as much as you can, try to keep your mind and heart and soul at peace while going through treatment and recovery. lean on your your friends and family. My lil brother went through contentious child custody with his ex. It took years, including times she withheld contact. Ultimately he prevailed. The judges DO look at the history and quality and consistency of parenting.
 
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partgypsy said:
thinking positive thoughts for you Monarch. I was dx with breast cancer 5 years ago. I feel like with my life was divided pre divorce, post divorce in a loss of innocence about core romantic relationship, it's like my life is also divided pre-cancer dx, and post cancer dx. Even though I had medical crises before, I felt like I could "trust" my body. Getting the cancer felt like a -betrayal. As everyone has said there are more knowledge and options than over before. I found the breast cancer forums also very helpful, like if I was experiencing side effects, what people did to cope. As far as what is going on with ex and daughter. It is extremely hurtful and f-up what he is doing. But play the long game. The long game is regaining a good and mutual relationship with your daughter. Use the tools you have. Cry about setbacks. But as much as you can, try to keep your mind and heart and soul at peace while going through treatment and recovery. lean on your your friends and family. My lil brother went through contentious child custody with his ex. It took years, including times she withheld contact. Ultimately he prevailed. The judges DO look at the history and quality and consistency of parenting.
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I am so sorry to read about all you have been through @partgypsy. You seem to be very level headed, however. Congratulations on surviving so many travails.
 
Thinking of you.
 
Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been MIA! I’m going to try to respond more this weekend. I’ve been bogged down by the legal stuff lately (putting together documentation and sifting through years of notes, emails, and texts, as well as wracking my brain remembering all the ridiculous things the ex did that could strengthen my case.) Next week more of that and another couple medical appointments. I’m already sick of all of it. I am a hedonist at heart and as a Taurus I’m also kind of a lazy cow, so I would really rather fast forward through all this manure and get back to leisurely seeking pleasure.
 
monarch64 said:
Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been MIA! I’m going to try to respond more this weekend. I’ve been bogged down by the legal stuff lately (putting together documentation and sifting through years of notes, emails, and texts, as well as wracking my brain remembering all the ridiculous things the ex did that could strengthen my case.) Next week more of that and another couple medical appointments. I’m already sick of all of it. I am a hedonist at heart and as a Taurus I’m also kind of a lazy cow, so I would really rather fast forward through all this manure and get back to leisurely seeking pleasure.
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Sorry you have two fronts to deal with at the same time. This will all work out but getting through it is tough. Hang in there!
 
Thinking of you and sending hugs. Please remember to take good care of yourself @monarch64. I hope you’re able to get out for a bit and give yourself a little but of a break, even if it’s just going out for a coffee with a friend.
 
Calliecake said:
Thinking of you and sending hugs. Please remember to take good care of yourself @monarch64. I hope you’re able to get out for a bit and give yourself a little but of a break, even if it’s just going out for a coffee with a friend.
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Thank you, Callie! Many of my friends have invited me out to do things and have a chat in the past few weeks, but I just haven’t felt up to it. I am in a book club with several of them and will attend that this coming week. In anticipation of treatment happening soon, I’ve been trying to deep clean my home as I have the energy, and donate a lot of things that I no longer need. I’ll be transferring my jewelry to a different location and will need to update insurance; I’m considering hiring someone a few hours a week to help me with cleaning and laundry if I’m not up to doing it myself and I don’t want to worry about theft although that’s probably very unlikely.

There are just so many things to think about and find solutions for right now, but I do have great friends here on whom I know I can count, thank goodness. I made a lot of friends in Chicago and am still in touch, but right now I am so glad I moved back close to my hometown and a lot of other friends I went to high school with boomeranged right back here as well. Many of my friendships go back 30-40 years; others are about 15 years old. All of them are wonderful and I’m so fortunate to have them in my life still.

My best friend from college passed away unexpectedly last November at 49 years old… her bday is Sept 8 (Monday). I still can’t believe she’s gone. I’m so tired of grieving losses but I try to always remember how much I still have and all the things I still have to look forward to.

And of course all of you are so dear to me after 20 years of participating here and getting to know so many members.

I had a thought just now—as a writer, I consider it very important to document people and places and I think a great memoir would be a fabulous way to commemorate Pricescope. I kind of envision it as a collaborative effort, like we could all contribute stories based on our own perspectives and experiences, and then compile them as a collection or sort of anthology. Sponsors and trade members included! Sell copies for $10-20, maaaaybe even market the book to sell to jewelry enthusiasts/industry folks/other interested groups…I know PS needs money, and if sales were super successful perhaps we could set up a scholarship for aspiring gemologists.
 
partgypsy said:
thinking positive thoughts for you Monarch. I was dx with breast cancer 5 years ago. I feel like with my life was divided pre divorce, post divorce in a loss of innocence about core romantic relationship, it's like my life is also divided pre-cancer dx, and post cancer dx. Even though I had medical crises before, I felt like I could "trust" my body. Getting the cancer felt like a -betrayal. As everyone has said there are more knowledge and options than over before. I found the breast cancer forums also very helpful, like if I was experiencing side effects, what people did to cope. As far as what is going on with ex and daughter. It is extremely hurtful and f-up what he is doing. But play the long game. The long game is regaining a good and mutual relationship with your daughter. Use the tools you have. Cry about setbacks. But as much as you can, try to keep your mind and heart and soul at peace while going through treatment and recovery. lean on your your friends and family. My lil brother went through contentious child custody with his ex. It took years, including times she withheld contact. Ultimately he prevailed. The judges DO look at the history and quality and consistency of parenting.
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Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s nice to be able to commiserate a little and to know that others have come through the hard stuff not too much worse for the wear. And I certainly relate to the pre- and post- life-changing events. I think there is sadness and joy in all of them, and I also am grateful that I went through a lot early in life and developed resilience and some wisdom along the way these past few decades.

To your point about playing the long game: yes! That’s what my approach has been since I left the marriage 8 years ago. I allowed some things to play out for the well-being of our child even though I felt shortchanged. This current nonsense is basically the same theatrics and drama on the part of my ex, and even if the judge doesn’t see through his antics, I know our child will eventually and his dirty work will have been for nought. That doesn’t make me happy, though, because she will suffer regardless. To think that all of this could’ve been avoided had he just been willing to take some time to meet with me, speak on the phone, ANYTHING, when I was asking for him to be a united front, makes me incredibly sad for her. His refusal to co-parent and to put her in the middle is detrimental and while he is a good dad in many ways, it’s also equally important to put aside animosity and emotions and focus on the best interests of the child.

Sigh. I hope everything works out for her sake.

I have checked out some breast cancer forums, and I have a Nurse Navigator and am provided 8 counseling sessions so will be taking advantage of those perks. One of my father’s oncologist’s wife will be my oncologist. She is highly respected in the field as well as our community and surrounding area, as was her husband who has since retired. I can’t say I’m looking forward to treatment, but I feel somewhat familiar with everything and thank goodness my mother is still here to support me.
 
Checking in to see how your doing.
You are in our thoughts.
 
monarch64 said:
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s nice to be able to commiserate a little and to know that others have come through the hard stuff not too much worse for the wear. And I certainly relate to the pre- and post- life-changing events. I think there is sadness and joy in all of them, and I also am grateful that I went through a lot early in life and developed resilience and some wisdom along the way these past few decades.

To your point about playing the long game: yes! That’s what my approach has been since I left the marriage 8 years ago. I allowed some things to play out for the well-being of our child even though I felt shortchanged. This current nonsense is basically the same theatrics and drama on the part of my ex, and even if the judge doesn’t see through his antics, I know our child will eventually and his dirty work will have been for nought. That doesn’t make me happy, though, because she will suffer regardless. To think that all of this could’ve been avoided had he just been willing to take some time to meet with me, speak on the phone, ANYTHING, when I was asking for him to be a united front, makes me incredibly sad for her. His refusal to co-parent and to put her in the middle is detrimental and while he is a good dad in many ways, it’s also equally important to put aside animosity and emotions and focus on the best interests of the child.

Sigh. I hope everything works out for her sake.

I have checked out some breast cancer forums, and I have a Nurse Navigator and am provided 8 counseling sessions so will be taking advantage of those perks. One of my father’s oncologist’s wife will be my oncologist. She is highly respected in the field as well as our community and surrounding area, as was her husband who has since retired. I can’t say I’m looking forward to treatment, but I feel somewhat familiar with everything and thank goodness my mother is still here to support me.
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So glad to hear your Mom is with you, @monarch64 .
Just wanted to add my hugs to those that were sent earlier, and send you lots of flowers. One of my close friends made it through triple negative breast cancer.
I pray that you will be fine.IMG_2829.jpegIMG_7204.jpegIMG_0214.jpeg
 
I am really sorry you are going through this. Be good to yourself. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
 
monarch64 said:
Yup.

MRI early tomorrow. Needle biopsy next week. Mamm and ultrasound did not look good. BI-RADS 5.

I’ll find out with the next tests what kind it is and what stage.

I had a few really good, fun, interesting, and beautiful years with my daughter, traveling, jewelry, etc. I guess we only get so many good times here away from worrying or dealing with something unpleasant.

I’ll check back tomorrow (Late Thursday for Americans). Could use the good old PS support now.
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Hello Monie, been years and years, coming out of never coming here to say I am sorry you are going through this. My best friend turned chemo down after have a lumpectomy first, then radiation, then another cancer came and she did a mastectomy, that was 12 years ago, she is NannyontheGO! got 5 grands a full full life. I believe in great medicine, smart decisions and knowing YOU, You ex husband is an excretment, a horrible, terrible guy, only good thing is your girl, focus on you, your daughter and your daughter and the BEST doctors you can get and you will be fine, this is a guarantee. I'll come back again to see how you are doing.
 
How are you doing @monarch64? I hope things are going ok on both fronts. It must feel like you’re treading water with all this going on at the same time. We’ve got you whenever you need us.
 
So happy to see you here @Tekate. You’ve been missed. I hope you are doing well.
 
Popped back by just now and was so shocked to see this news. Wanted to add to the chorus of well-wishes & go-get-him-in-court roars. Very glad you have local support & old friends around you also.
 
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