I have a gown!!! (And the aftermath...)

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Anyone else suffered a mild panic attack after choosing/purchasing a wedding gown?? Or am I the only one? This dress was NOT what I envisioned myself wearing on my wedding day, in a number of ways. I thought I wanted straps, or if strapless, a sweetheart neckline... And a deep-v back, or else a high, lacy back. Instead I wound up with... well... this.

I live in CO, but was in OH over the holidays to spend time with my family. It was important to me to choose a dress with ''the madre''... and after a seriously failed attempt with mom, sister, and friend, just my mom and I headed out to a boutique in BFE where we found my (all-to-wedding-dress-like) prom dress ages ago. {un-related note: my prom dress was SO satiny & poofy & tulle-crazy that it really affected what I wanted in a wedding gown... Most gowns I saw remind me of prom, which is NOT what I wanted to be thinking of...}

I still fear that I found this dress too quickly and that it lacks some elements that I like (its way easy to nit-pick pictures), but I keep reminding myself that I loved the WHOLE image when I tried it on. Our consultant told us it was a Cassie (???) gown.... They don''t tell you until after you buy. I can''t find Cassie aaaanywhere on the internet, so perhaps I misheard her. It is a super-light, cafe-colored silk with an ivory lacy overlay. The sash is also cafe satin. The color in these photos is a bit washed out

I may check with my future seamstress/tailor to see if the neckline can be made more sweetheart-like and if the back can be made into a ''V''.... But I have NO clue if that''s even possible.

Without further ado...

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

The back...

 

[MommaChristine]

I really like that dress. It looks great on you and it's a great color! Is it already altered or will you be getting it altered?! It seems like you're really second guessing yourself but I wouldn't worry too much .. I think that's pretty normal. I tried on maybe 5 dresses, tired of it and picked the one I liked best. I ordered it then went home and googled pictures of the dress that I had just bought and looked at it on other girls and FREAKED! Fortunately, for every 10 that looked bad there were 1 or 2 that looked good so I atleast know it's possible if done right. Mine won't get here until the end of April so we'll see. Did that make sense?!

Anyways, I think it's a gorgeous dress and I think that it looks great on you!

 

[Deelight]

I think you look beautiful, but it matters how you feel in the dress. A lot of brides do end up in a dress that is nothing like they envisioned because what they think they like might not look the best on them.

I can''t say for certain but I would guess that a sweetheart neck would be possible, and a slightly lower v shaped back. Try and chill and think about what you loved and how you feel.

 

[Clairitek]

I can relate to the panic! I think that I might have found my dress this weekend and I am having a mild heart attack that A) my search might be over so soon! I still have well over a year until the wedding and B) It wasn''t at all what I thought I would get!

I agree with Dee that you do look lovely in that gown! By the look of it I bet that it can be altered to better fit what you were envisioning. At least on the neckline.

Congrats on purchasing a dress!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Momma & Dee: Thanks kindly! I''m realizing that pre-conceived notions about what wedding gown I "wanted" caused more trouble than good... BUT there was definitely a reason I chose this gown besides the fact that Momma Pils was there. And it made Mom cry, so that''s always a good sign.

Claritek: That''s so EXCITING!!! A few gown consultants told me that often women find gowns sooner than anticipated and try to deny that the gown is "the one". Don''t be surprised if you''ve found it- and be sure to post pictures if you can!!!

We''ll see about the alterations. I have NOOO clue where I''ll go for those, since I''m living in a new state. I don''t want to think about someone hacking away at my dress. OY!

 

[EricaR]

I LOVE that dress on you! Is is so beautiful and it makes your figure look wonderful.

 

[bee*]

I think that you look great in that dress! You made the right decision with it!

 

[Winslet]

For what it''s worth, I think your dress is just lovely - it''s clean, simple, and stunning! I really like how you tied the sash in the back

 

[PrincessDijon]

I agree with everyone...your dress looks lovely on you!

 

[anniee19]

Wow, I love that dress. It''s so pretty! I actually tried one on very similar to it, and it was my second choice. I decided chosing something very different but I still think about that dress quite a bit.

 

[Lanie]

Love the dress! It''s very classic and simple.

I went through a similar thing with mine...I ordered it, LIKED it at the time of ordering it, then when it came in 3 months later and I tried it on at home, I LOVED it. You will love yours too...I promise. Mine isn''t anything like I had envisioned myself with either, and I still look at pictures of original dresses I had tried on and think "What if..."

But just remember that you fell in love with it because you had that feeling. When all of your makeup is on, your veil, your jewelry, etc....you will not regret it!!!

And stay away from online pictures of other dresses! That''s been my vice!

 

[Lanie]

P.S. a good tailor can alter a V-back and a sweetheart neckline. Ask around...you''ll pay more but photoshop it with a "dip" if you can to see if you like it. And ask around to see what they can do! I plan to do the same!

 

[Sparkalicious]

It''s beautiful and looks lovely on you. I think it''s totally normal to feel nervous after committing to a dress, however, never fear ... it looks great as is but once you get it if you are not 100% pleased with it ... have it altered a little to be exactly as you want it and you should feel like a million bucks! You could spend endless amounts of time trying to find a dress and never find the right one or find one that is better but something about this one told you to do it, which means that it is likely the one for you!

Congrats on finding a dress!

 

[sunnyd]

Yes, yes!!! I only tried on 3! Now I feel like I acted waayyyy too quickly. But it''s engrained in your head that the dress is one the most important things, blah blah...

That dress looks gorgeous on you though! And if you want it sweethearted or v-backed, someone can do that for you too.

 

[kittybean]

Date: 1/5/2009 12:15:00 AM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom

We''ll see about the alterations. I have NOOO clue where I''ll go for those, since I''m living in a new state. I don''t want to think about someone hacking away at my dress. OY!

I remember you saying you were in Colorado--look up The Wedding Seamstress in Arvada. I absolutely adore her. She is doing my wedding gown alterations after she totally transformed an ugly, ill-fitting bridesmaid''s dress into a beautiful bridesmaid''s dress for me. She is really busy, so I''d call her soon if you''re interested.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I think it looks gorgeous on you!

 

[cocolaw]

i feel the same way!! I only spent about 1/5 of what I had planned to spend on my dress. It was the first dress I tried on, I only went to one store, and I bought it in Alabama when I live in NY, surrounded by ALL of the great designers!! I just have to remind myself of what an easy decision it was for me...I believed that I looked stunning when I tried it on. I had them hold it and went back the next day, looked at myself for about 4 minutes and said "yep, that works!"

This is what has helped me: I imagine the big picture: candlelight, fabulous earrings, think about your hairstyle.

and by the way, I think your dress is a knockout!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

I think its lovely - very simple and elegant and classic, and it looks just smashing on you

But as the others have said, its your wedding dress and so you have to love it. I''d sit with the decision for a bit and see how you feel after you mull it over a little bit.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Thanks for the sweet words, ladies. Sometimes it really helps to have a second opinion... I''m feeling better about the gown, already. Plus I''ve started shopping for accessories on Etsy

(I want to pin a brooch on the ''knot'' of the sash)

I''m starting to recall another reason why the dress felt "right"... It is sooo lightweight (no beading!!) and very, very easy to move it. It was the only dress that didn''t invoke hot flashes

KittyBean: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for a seamstress referral!!! I will definitely look into that & give her a call.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Date: 1/4/2009 11:16:33 PM
Author:PilsnPinkysMom
I may check with my future seamstress/tailor to see if the neckline can be made more sweetheart-like and if the back can be made into a ''V''.... But I have NO clue if that''s even possible.

As someone who did bridal seamstress work for two bridal houses in NJ, I can tell you that while it CAN be done, it is not only going to completely change the look of the dress (and may not look that great with the sash), but it is going to be very expensive since they will pretty much have to take apart the entire top part of the gown to do this.

Sweetheart necklines and the V backs are created at the time the pattern for the gown are laid out, prior to any cuts being made. What they will have to do is remove the sash, rip out all the seams attaching the top of the gown from the skirt, detach the lining from the top, trace the sweetheart neckline on both the lining and the front fabric, pray that it is cut correctly, resew everything, and pray that the gown has enough support to accommodate the new construction once everything is resewn. And what happens if you don''t love the way the gown looks after the reconstruction? Does the gown have any foundations attached inside? Some gowns have a belt at the waist or a built-in corset or bustier.

Honestly, if you are not loving the shape of the top of the gown, you''re better off calling them up and canceling the order. Tell them that you need to look around some more. The consultant should be able to help you find a lace gown with a sweetheart neckline and v''d back the way you described to us what you want. Remaking a gown you are purchasing new with such critical elements as changing the shape of the neckline on a strapless gown is not something to take lightly.

 

[glueck]

That feeling I think is OH so normal! The dress is beautiful, classic and TIMELESS. I am sure that if you want some adjustments, your seamstress can make some changes, but I must say, I find it lovely as it is! Congratulations!

 

[Tuckins1]

I can relate also. Everyone loved my dress when I first tried it on, and so did I. After we paid for it and I had to wait months for it to come in... I started to have second thoughts. By the time it arrived, I had talked myself into hating the dress. But, when I saw it again, I fell in love with it all over again. I think it''s normal. It looks beautiful, BTW!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

I really love that dress! It''s very classy and timeless. I think those two characteristics are very important when choosing a dress, cause you don''t want to look back at your wedding pictures 30 years from now and dread how you look. That style of dress you picked will never look dated. I love the back too!

 

[jstarfireb]

I think it looks stunning the way it is...but I also sympathize with having a dress that wasn''t what I originally wanted. I didn''t want a strapless dress, but I got one, and now I regret it (I''m looking into adding straps). I also think that while altering it seems like a great idea in theory, Winks_Elf brought up some great points that I never really considered before. So...think about it for a few days. I think it''s either love the dress the way it is and stick with it or cancel the order if the neckline/back are dealbreakers.

 

[gedean]

first and foremost, i think that dress looks great on you. however, if you feel like it might not be the one for you and you dont mind going through a dress change and have the time for it then find that ***ONE*** dress for you.

But i completely understand how you feel. I felt like that too when I first bought the dress because I felt that I didnt give myself enough time to really sit on my decision as my mother had come into town for a weekend to look for dresses with me. and after trying a ton of dresses, i decided that if i couldnt find a dress after trying almost 100 dresses, I dont think i''d be able to find one at all. so i ended up with the one that i felt was a blend of all the different aspects of different dresses i liked.

All in all, with time, I''ve learned that if you ponder too long and hard on the dress sooner or later it starts to look not as special as when you first bought it. There was a reason I decided on this dress when I decided to buy it, that must''ve meant something for me to take such a decisive action. and when I went back to a bridal store after I had purchased mine, I was looking through the racks and loe-and-behold I still ended up picking out my dress from the stack. Surprise, surprise.

with that said, i think...dont dwell too hard on your "problem" it really isnt a problem. the dress looks great on you. and even if you had the most beauitful dress in the world, the longer you look and "question" it the less it will mean to you. just endulge in the whole experience. That''s what I''ve learned from mine.

 

[Lanie]

Not to threadjack, but Winks_Elf, about how much would it be to do all of those alterations? I was thinking of doing the same (just a sweetheart neckline...not the back of my dress). Are we talking over a thousand dollars? I didn''t think of the possibility of deconstructing it!

 

[AllieLuv83]

I know exactly what you mean. I feel just ehh about my dress and now think that maybe I should have gotten a mermaid shaped dress rather than A-line although I agree with everyone else that you look great in the dress. If you have the time and the money I would say get the dress that you truly want. It''s a little late for me in the game I am 6 months out!