- Joined
- May 24, 2012
- Messages
- 536
I'm feeling pretty bleh about my engagement these days. Mostly because of all of the ring drama. I just feel like I have to vent.
When G and I bought our diamond, we were really excited. He knew that I was passionate about diamonds and that there was no way he could outdo me when it came to diamond research, so he decided to let me choose the diamond so that I could have exactly what I wanted. I'm not picky or demanding in other aspects of our relationship, so I felt like it's okay for me to have exactly the ring I wanted since I'd be wearing it every single day and he even admits that he really doesn't care what jewelry I'm wearing so long as I'm wearing.
Okay, so that's all fine and dandy, but it has been 3 months since this whole setting thing started, and the whole situation has really worn me down and been an enormous stress on both G and I. Sleepless nights, emotional distress, vendor drama, concern that we'd ever even see our money again, etc. It has been an absolute NIGHTMARE. Way more trouble than any piece of jewelry should ever cause, ever. On top of my frustration with the whole thing, I feel horribly guilty for what I've put G through because of my insistence that we have it custom done because I just wasn't passionate about any of the settings I'd already found, and I wanted it to be something I could wear for the rest of my life. If I had just picked something easy and premade from the beginning, we never would have had this problem. But then I probably wouldn't have been crazy about my ring and I'm not sure a piece of jewelry that significant is something you should only feel "okay" about. After all that, G feels like maybe he should have just chosen something out of the case at a local jewelry store or something for me, because even if it wasn't absolutely perfect, I'd still at least feel emotionally attached to it because it was a gift from him, y'know?
As it is, I've barely even been able to look at my diamond since we got it back. I mean, I louped it to check for damage and I took some photos of the setting, etc, but since it was unmounted I've just had it sitting away and I almost don't even care to look at it anymore. It's not the diamond's fault, so hopefully I'll feel better about it after it is reset and we are happily engaged (someday).
I've decided to work with the amazing and perfect local jeweler down the block from my work, so I can check in whenever I want and I know he'll do a good job because I've seen a lot of his work in local high end stores, etc. I didn't want to just "give up" and pick a setting and just be done with it... well actually I DO want to, but I know I'll regret it in the long run so I'm trying to get it right the second time around. But I feel like such a brat for still choosing the "more work" option after all that G and I have been through. I know he just wants it over with too. I feel really bad because at this point, it's like the whole engagement is about the ring and not about us anymore. I mean, of course it is really about us, we love each other and have a great relationship, but every time we talk about engagement lately, it's about the stupid ring, and I feel awful that what was supposed to be a happy occasion is now tainted and stressful and focused on some tiny piece of carbon and NOT focused on us. Aside from my fixation on having my one nice piece of jewelry be something I won't nitpick, I'm really not a very materialistic person and I feel like this is making me be that way. I mean hellooooooo, first world problems, am I right?! I feel so guilty for even caring!
Sorry for the rant. I'm just feeling really sad about the whole thing right now.
When G and I bought our diamond, we were really excited. He knew that I was passionate about diamonds and that there was no way he could outdo me when it came to diamond research, so he decided to let me choose the diamond so that I could have exactly what I wanted. I'm not picky or demanding in other aspects of our relationship, so I felt like it's okay for me to have exactly the ring I wanted since I'd be wearing it every single day and he even admits that he really doesn't care what jewelry I'm wearing so long as I'm wearing.
Okay, so that's all fine and dandy, but it has been 3 months since this whole setting thing started, and the whole situation has really worn me down and been an enormous stress on both G and I. Sleepless nights, emotional distress, vendor drama, concern that we'd ever even see our money again, etc. It has been an absolute NIGHTMARE. Way more trouble than any piece of jewelry should ever cause, ever. On top of my frustration with the whole thing, I feel horribly guilty for what I've put G through because of my insistence that we have it custom done because I just wasn't passionate about any of the settings I'd already found, and I wanted it to be something I could wear for the rest of my life. If I had just picked something easy and premade from the beginning, we never would have had this problem. But then I probably wouldn't have been crazy about my ring and I'm not sure a piece of jewelry that significant is something you should only feel "okay" about. After all that, G feels like maybe he should have just chosen something out of the case at a local jewelry store or something for me, because even if it wasn't absolutely perfect, I'd still at least feel emotionally attached to it because it was a gift from him, y'know?
As it is, I've barely even been able to look at my diamond since we got it back. I mean, I louped it to check for damage and I took some photos of the setting, etc, but since it was unmounted I've just had it sitting away and I almost don't even care to look at it anymore. It's not the diamond's fault, so hopefully I'll feel better about it after it is reset and we are happily engaged (someday).
I've decided to work with the amazing and perfect local jeweler down the block from my work, so I can check in whenever I want and I know he'll do a good job because I've seen a lot of his work in local high end stores, etc. I didn't want to just "give up" and pick a setting and just be done with it... well actually I DO want to, but I know I'll regret it in the long run so I'm trying to get it right the second time around. But I feel like such a brat for still choosing the "more work" option after all that G and I have been through. I know he just wants it over with too. I feel really bad because at this point, it's like the whole engagement is about the ring and not about us anymore. I mean, of course it is really about us, we love each other and have a great relationship, but every time we talk about engagement lately, it's about the stupid ring, and I feel awful that what was supposed to be a happy occasion is now tainted and stressful and focused on some tiny piece of carbon and NOT focused on us. Aside from my fixation on having my one nice piece of jewelry be something I won't nitpick, I'm really not a very materialistic person and I feel like this is making me be that way. I mean hellooooooo, first world problems, am I right?! I feel so guilty for even caring!
Sorry for the rant. I'm just feeling really sad about the whole thing right now.