i don''t understand young girls these days...

[Shoopy]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:59:57 PM
Author: lucyandroger


The idea that the engagement has to be a surprise is what really confuses me. Even ladies who pick out their own ering then want their BF to ''surprise'' them with the proposal to be ''traditional.'' I don''t really understand it...how can it be a surprise if you know he has the ring because YOU picked it out?

It''s not the ring they want to be a surprise but the proposal. I don''t understand how some girls know exactly when they''re going to be proposed to. On LIW you see it all the time. There are a few threads on there where girls say "I''m going to be proposed to in 2 weeks" That boggles my mind.

FWIW, I was *very* involved in the diamond purchase. My FI knows nothing of diamonds and had a very limited amount of money to spend. I wanted to make sure he got the best he could for the money he had. Had I left it up to him he would have purchased a 2ct for $1,000 in a "diamond" kiosk in the mall.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:44:40 PM
Author: Elmorton
You know, I don''t know when the ring became a big surprise - I think that''s an advertising thing that has been hyped up by the media.


According to my dad, my parents had talked about getting married, so he drove my mom to his hometown to visit the family''s jeweler. My mom and dad picked out a stone and setting. The proposal? My dad dropped by my mom''s apt and got down on his knee while she was sitting on the couch.


My grandmothers I think both got rings AFTER getting married - my grandma was married to my grandpa 6 days after he returned from being a POW in WWII, so I have a feeling they weren''t exactly thinking about rings at that point. And, as far as being a ''forever symbol,'' I know one but perhaps both of my grandmothers had upgraded rings later on (which is funny, because I learned from my parents that your ring is forever).


In other words, I think what''s ''supposed to be'' etiquette concerning an e-ring changes with time and advertising. While I know my love of diamonds is partly because of that same advertising, I think any sentence with ''supposed'' and ''wedding'' or ''e-ring'' is probably hooey.

Great point!

My parents decided to get married and went to the jewellery store together. My mother wore the ring out of the store and that was that. My grandma was given an engagement ring charm to add to her charm bracelet by my grandfather and then picked out their wedding set together. My other grandma just has a wedding band, given to her on her wedding day.

What''s with the surprises?

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??

so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DF, you''re missing the point completely, and on purpose, in this thread. No, afford is what the couple feels comfortable spending. At the time we got engaged we, combined, had around $25,000 in our accounts. DH asked me how I felt about spending up to $2,000 on a ring. We spent around $1,750. That was affordable for us.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:59:57 PM
Author: lucyandroger

The idea that the engagement has to be a surprise is what really confuses me. Even ladies who pick out their own ering then want their BF to 'surprise' them with the proposal to be 'traditional.' I don't really understand it...how can it be a surprise if you know he has the ring because YOU picked it out?

Because men are liars

. There was a set budget, there was debate, there were lots of compromises, and then he lied and said that he didn't have the money that month. I helped pick the ring, he wanted to surprise me with it.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??

so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of "budget" is? Hint: it isn''t "the balance of one''s bank account."

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Hmmm . . . this is an interesting post from DF on Italia's car thread:

Date: 5/5/2009 7:19:56 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IHC

if you gonna buy him a 60's Corvette be sure it is all original (with no modification). the drive train must be thee original,engine,trans,rear end,etc,etc...the most popular model of that era would be the 327cid with a 350 hp engine. remember the key words here...must be 'ALL ORIGINAL' for the car to bring the big bucks.

the classic car market has also gone down with the economy in the past couple of years. you can google Barrett Jackson car auction and see what a car like that would fetch these days.

IMO...i still say let him pick the car,cuz there's 90% chance that you'll get screw


i love classic muscle cars from the 60's to early 70's. i use to own couple of 1970 Camaro RS Z28. they came with a factory 350 CID/360 HP engine. the green one is an automatic with 58k original miles. the copper color one is a 4 speed with 9,800 original miles on it. the car has been on a couple of magazine. i sold it (too cheap) to a gentlemen whom flew in from new york just to look at the car he then bought it after checking it over for 2 hrs with his buddy.

But, DF . . . IT'S A GIFT!!!!!

 

[strmrdr]

Well DF a guy once totally understood a woman and 5 min. later she totally changed her mind.

storm runs and hides!!!!!!!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:23:09 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??

so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of ''budget'' is? Hint: it isn''t ''the balance of one''s bank account.''

so just look into the guy''s eye and ask "how much can you afford" ?

 

[Dancing Fire]

IG
classic cars is a different story...too many FAKES out there.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:35:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG
classic cars is a different story...too many FAKES out there.

Ohhhh, so that''s DIFFERENT then. Uh-huh.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:30:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 6:23:09 PM

Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??


so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of ''budget'' is? Hint: it isn''t ''the balance of one''s bank account.''

so just look into the guy''s eye and ask ''how much can you afford'' ?

Yes. And no matter what the answer is, I make a grab for his paystub, whine, and tell him he can afford more because I''m worth it. If necessary I use sex as a bargining tool to get my way. I deserve it.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:30:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 6:23:09 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??

so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of ''budget'' is? Hint: it isn''t ''the balance of one''s bank account.''

so just look into the guy''s eye and ask ''how much can you afford'' ?

Well, of course that depends on the people in the relationship. I''m not about to try to tell others how to handle their own financial discussions.

In our case, it was:
Sit down together, start talking general ring ideas, then I say "what do you think a good budget would be?" Commence adult conversation about budget.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:35:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG

classic cars is a different story...too many FAKES out there.

Yeah you''re right, it''s a lot easier to research and choose a ring that your girlfriend will love without getting ''screwed'' than it is to research and make sure you''re not buying a fake car.

Sure. Lots easier.

 

[Dancing Fire]

IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn't sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there're certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don't laugh. you two wouldn't know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2009 8:31:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn''t sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there''re certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don''t laugh. you two wouldn''t know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

Is that a challenge????

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 5/6/2009 8:31:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn''t sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there''re certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don''t laugh. you two wouldn''t know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

DF, you''re probably right. If it was a good fake, I probably wouldn''t know the "real" car from the "fake" car. Which is EXACTLY why I would get DH''s input if I was going to buy him a classic car as a gift, just as I would want him to get my input if he was going to buy me a diamond as a gift. He knows a lot more about cars than I do, and I know a lot more about diamonds than he does!

And I agree 100% that GOG absolutely did NOT sell him a fake diamond! I am completely confident that the wonderful people at GOG are totally trustworthy, and would NEVER do such a thing. The point I was trying to make was that only SHE knows what characteristics are important to HER in a diamond and/or setting, just as only Italia''s husband would know exactly what is important to him in a classic car. So, when you say that a woman receiving an e-ring should love whatever her BF picks out, but that Italia should get her DH''s input before purchasing the classic car as a gift for him . . . how exactly does that make sense?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 8:44:12 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 5/6/2009 8:31:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn''t sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there''re certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don''t laugh. you two wouldn''t know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

DF, you''re probably right. If it was a good fake, I probably wouldn''t know the ''real'' car from the ''fake'' car. Which is EXACTLY why I would get DH''s input if I was going to buy him a classic car as a gift, just as I would want him to get my input if he was going to buy me a diamond as a gift. He knows a lot more about cars than I do, and I know a lot more about diamonds than he does!

And I agree 100% that GOG absolutely did NOT sell him a fake diamond! I am completely confident that the wonderful people at GOG are totally trustworthy, and would NEVER do such a thing. The point I was trying to make was that only SHE knows what characteristics are important to HER in a diamond and/or setting, just as only Italia''s husband would know exactly what is important to him in a classic car. So, when you say that a woman receiving an e-ring should love whatever her BF picks out, but that Italia should get her DH''s input before purchasing the classic car as a gift for him . . . how exactly does that make sense?

we know the guy is in good hand with GOG,but who knows what kind of people IHC will be dealing with if she attempts to buy a car for hubby.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 8:42:25 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 5/6/2009 8:31:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn''t sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there''re certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don''t laugh. you two wouldn''t know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

Is that a challenge????

yes !!

 

[musey]

Dfire, you tend to have a little trouble with analogies, don't you?

 

[musey]

We know that the people at GOG would not sell anyone a "fake diamond," but they do not have the capacity to choose a diamond that his girlfriend/fiancee is guaranteed to like. Period.

We tell people all the time that if they're buying a diamond as a surprise, that there are "safe" parameters that it's best not to venture outside of. Like, don't buy a low color unless you KNOW she likes low color stones, don't buy a visibly included stone unless you KNOW she doesn't mind visible inclusions, don't buy a super-chunky masculine setting or uber-encrusted over-the-top pave setting unless you KNOW that is her style... there are safe bets and big gambles in buying a surprise engagement ring. If a guy takes a gamble (especially if he has been given tips by his girlfriend), it is on HIM if/when she does not like the outcome of said gamble.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I think women have the right to throw a fit over a ring that doesn't meet her expectations... I just think that she does have a right to gently broach the subject of changing whatever it is she dislikes, under those circumstances.

I also don't understand why it makes it worse that she would bring it up "soon" (hopefully not within the first couple of days, obviously, but after that??) after the proposal. Didn't we just have a thread about return periods?

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2009 9:12:06 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 8:42:25 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 5/6/2009 8:31:18 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
IG and musey. i can guarantee GOG didn''t sell him a FAKE diamond.

now when it comes to classic car. what i meant by FAKES is that there''re certain rare models of Corvette being made by counterfeiters everyday. the counterfeiters would take a more common model car and make it so that it would look like a rarer model car to command a higher price.so, buyer beware !! you better know what to look for when it comes to buying a classic car.you better know all the smallest detail of that model inside out before you lay the money down.

sooo...IG and musey

don''t laugh. you two wouldn''t know the difference b/t a FAKE and a $100K original car.

Is that a challenge????

yes !!

My son can run circles around you when it comes to vintage cars... He lives and breathes them.... That''s how we got Hubby''s old Mercedes 1969 280 SL. Mint condition.....

But now this thread is about cars???

 

[Steel]

Date: 5/6/2009 6:41:24 PM
Author: Addy

Date: 5/6/2009 6:30:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 6:23:09 PM

Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can't afford one - or can't afford one in the size she 'has always dreamed of' - then what?

This is all in the context of 'if it's in the budget'...I don't think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she'd like and it's in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by 'if it's in the budget' ??


so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of 'budget' is? Hint: it isn't 'the balance of one's bank account.'

so just look into the guy's eye and ask 'how much can you afford' ?

Yes. And no matter what the answer is, I make a grab for his paystub, whine, and tell him he can afford more because I'm worth it. If necessary I use sex as a bargining tool to get my way. I deserve it.

Addy, this classic approach is the best way to handle issues like this. Tried and tested...it can never fail. Especially if you just happen to wear your nicest undies during the day and nothing at night. Just because you want to, for no other reason in the whole wide world.

[ETA: After all how else should a woman bargain? It is all we know.

]

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/6/2009 1:17:01 PM
Author: musey
My then-boyfriend and I considered the e-ring a joint purchase symbolizing out mutual decision to get married.


As such, we chose the ring together.



As for requesting it to be from a particular store... for some people, it''s very exciting and meaningful to have their engagement ring (or wedding ring, or anything really) come from a particular place. They just plain like the idea of it. I see no harm in communicating that desire to one''s partner... as the idea of an e-ring is to get something SHE will love, right?


Well, for the good ones, it is.

Musey''s first post said it all for me. That''s exactly how D and I did it too. In terms of budgets, when we started talking about erings, D told me how much he was comfortable spending and we searched together for rings and both loved the same one. As it was, we got a Tiffany Lucida. We could have gotten something bigger elsewhere but this was what we loved and it was within the budget that D had wanted to spend.

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 5/7/2009 8:42:46 AM
Author: Steel

Date: 5/6/2009 6:41:24 PM
Author: Addy

Date: 5/6/2009 6:30:31 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 6:23:09 PM

Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM

Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??


so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

DFire, do you know what the definition of ''budget'' is? Hint: it isn''t ''the balance of one''s bank account.''

so just look into the guy''s eye and ask ''how much can you afford'' ?

Yes. And no matter what the answer is, I make a grab for his paystub, whine, and tell him he can afford more because I''m worth it. If necessary I use sex as a bargining tool to get my way. I deserve it.

Addy, this classic approach is the best way to handle issues like this. Tried and tested...it can never fail. Especially if you just happen to wear your nicest undies during the day and nothing at night. Just because you want to, for no other reason in the whole wide world.

[ETA: After all how else should a woman bargain? It is all we know.

]

You ladies crack me up!! ROFL!!