i don''t understand young girls these days...

[Gypsy]

Okay DF. Now I didn't want to get into this with you on the OP's thread, but I will here.

If you read my response the critical point of it was "IF THE BUDGET THEY DECIDED ALLOWS FOR A HARRY WINSTON RING" and that's what she wants, AND HE ASKS HER WHAT SHE WANTS... AND SHE TELLS HIM THE TRUTH AND THEY CAN AFFORD IT... then why shouldn't she get it?

You get it? I am not saying that a woman should demand a Harry Winston ring. BUT... if the guy has a 50K budget and asks her what she wants, and she says, "Harry Winston"... they why the heck not? Is it any different than saying, "I want a OMC like cushion H-I color VS2 or better clarity, in a micro pave band of no more than 2.1 mm thickness ...and please make sure it sparkles!" Or I want the largest whitest, prettiest princess cut you can afford... and honey put all the money in the rock, just get me a plain solitare setting.

It's not 'young girls' being 'entitled'... it's you taking what I said and warping it.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:08:33 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 3:00:23 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i have no problem with the girl picking the setting that she loves,but the diamond?

who cares where the well cut stone came from.

I can''t speak for all of the high-end stores, but Tiffany is a package deal. If she wants a ring from Tiffany, the diamond has to come from there, too. For some women it''s about the setting, for some it''s about the diamond (either the IDEA of the Tiffany diamond, or a branded cut), for some it''s about the package. Does it matter which element holds importance to them?


I can''t imagine a woman caring whether her diamond came from GOG or Whiteflash or James Allen, all things being equal... but for a branded piece, it''s a different story.

so you''re telling me that you can tell the difference b/t a 6 prong Tiff setting and a copy just by looking at the ring?

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:27:33 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 3:08:33 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 3:00:23 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i have no problem with the girl picking the setting that she loves,but the diamond?

who cares where the well cut stone came from.

I can''t speak for all of the high-end stores, but Tiffany is a package deal. If she wants a ring from Tiffany, the diamond has to come from there, too. For some women it''s about the setting, for some it''s about the diamond (either the IDEA of the Tiffany diamond, or a branded cut), for some it''s about the package. Does it matter which element holds importance to them?


I can''t imagine a woman caring whether her diamond came from GOG or Whiteflash or James Allen, all things being equal... but for a branded piece, it''s a different story.

so you''re telling me that you can tell the difference b/t a 6 prong Tiff setting and a copy just by looking at the ring?

DF, just because she knows it''s possible, don''t mean she''s capable of doing it herself. There are people out there that can. But for some people (like DreamGirl over in LIW) it''s about the fact that it''s the *Tiffany* setting, and they want the original and not the copy. It doesn''t mean that they can tell it from a mile away, but that having the Tiffany setting from Tiffany makes a difference to them.

 

[tlh]

an engagement ring isn''t a GIFT in my opinion. It is a symbol of intention of marriage. No marriage, no keepie the ring. If it were A GIFT, you could keep it even if you never got married. This "GIFT" has strings... MARRIAGE... a marriage involves 2 parties, a good marriage involves 2 people working towards a common goal and hopefully AGREEING on things. There is nothing wrong with a girl asking for a "branded" ring. However, if a girl were to refuse a proposal because her guy couldn''t afford the branded ring... then she probably wasn''t the girl for him in the first place.

 

[E B]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:15:01 PM
Author: musey

I think you're right that it's all about where people draw their own lines.

Exactly. In my opinion, it's all about what works within a relationship. Some women will only accept a brand name ring, while others care most about the sentiment and would happily accept a ring pop. Most are somewhere in between. And generally speaking (flame suit on), by the time a man is ready to propose, he should have a pretty good idea of where on the spectrum his future fiance falls. If not, communication is KEY.

In the case DF is referring to, the woman had certain expectations her fiance a) wasn't completely aware of and b) arguably wasn't that comfortable with after the fact. What I found most disappointing was her reaction, but I made that clear in the other thread.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:25:06 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay DF. Now I didn''t want to get into this with you on the OP''s thread, but I will here.

If you read my response the critical point of it was ''IF THE BUDGET THEY DECIDED ALLOWS FOR A HARRY WINSTON RING'' and that''s what she wants, AND HE ASKS HER WHAT SHE WANTS... AND SHE TELLS HIM THE TRUTH AND THEY CAN AFFORD IT... then why shouldn''t she get it?

You get it? I am not saying that a woman should demand a Harry Winston ring. BUT... if the guy has a 50K budget and asks her what she wants, and she says, ''Harry Winston''... they why the heck not? Is it any different than saying, ''I want a OMC like cushion H-I color VS2 or better clarity, in a micro pave band of no more than 2.1 mm thickness ...and please make sure it sparkles!'' Or I want the largest whitest, prettiest princess cut you can afford... and honey put all the money in the rock, just get me a plain solitare setting.

It''s not ''young girls'' being ''entitled''... it''s you taking what I said and warping it.

you''re piss off cuz you owe me $10 bucks.

 

[lyra]

Maybe you should ask the LIW.

I''m pretty sure that most young women are just happy to receive their engagement ring at all, and whether the execution is exactly what they wanted or not is of less concern to them in general. Some women only want what they have been peer pressured to believe in too. Or what they see in a magazine or on a celebrity. But when it comes down to it, most women are not the pro-consumers that we are on PS.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:27:33 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 3:08:33 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 3:00:23 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
i have no problem with the girl picking the setting that she loves,but the diamond?

who cares where the well cut stone came from.

I can't speak for all of the high-end stores, but Tiffany is a package deal. If she wants a ring from Tiffany, the diamond has to come from there, too. For some women it's about the setting, for some it's about the diamond (either the IDEA of the Tiffany diamond, or a branded cut), for some it's about the package. Does it matter which element holds importance to them?

I can't imagine a woman caring whether her diamond came from GOG or Whiteflash or James Allen, all things being equal... but for a branded piece, it's a different story.

so you're telling me that you can tell the difference b/t a 6 prong Tiff setting and a copy just by looking at the ring?

No, I am absolutely NOT "telling you that." Nowhere in my post did I refer to myself or my preferences, so please do not put words into my mouth (/fingers). You have an incredible knack for interpreting peoples' posts entirely incorrectly.

What I said was that in regards to preferring a ring from a particular designer or store, SOME WOMEN it's about the setting, for SOME WOMEN it's about the diamond (whether its just plain being a "Tiffany diamond" or its being a branded cut), and for SOME WOMEN it's about the entire package (stone, setting and cache of the brand's "name").

Whether the setting is discernible from "copycat" settings is a moot point for the issues I was bringing up, especially when it comes to the issue of whether I personally can tell the difference. But, since you asked, I sincerely doubt I could (I've never tried) because I personally don't give a hoot about Tiffany solitaires.

Again, not the point at all. This thread (and this issue) is not about me and doesn't even apply to me, as I am not one of the "young girls" who "requests where her bf buys the e-ring." I am simply trying to explain the reasoning as I see it.

Personally, I think it's none of my (or anyone else's) business how a couple that I am not IN decides to choose, buy, or pay for an engagement ring.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:45:30 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 3:25:06 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay DF. Now I didn''t want to get into this with you on the OP''s thread, but I will here.

If you read my response the critical point of it was ''IF THE BUDGET THEY DECIDED ALLOWS FOR A HARRY WINSTON RING'' and that''s what she wants, AND HE ASKS HER WHAT SHE WANTS... AND SHE TELLS HIM THE TRUTH AND THEY CAN AFFORD IT... then why shouldn''t she get it?

You get it? I am not saying that a woman should demand a Harry Winston ring. BUT... if the guy has a 50K budget and asks her what she wants, and she says, ''Harry Winston''... they why the heck not? Is it any different than saying, ''I want a OMC like cushion H-I color VS2 or better clarity, in a micro pave band of no more than 2.1 mm thickness ...and please make sure it sparkles!'' Or I want the largest whitest, prettiest princess cut you can afford... and honey put all the money in the rock, just get me a plain solitare setting.

It''s not ''young girls'' being ''entitled''... it''s you taking what I said and warping it.

you''re piss off cuz you owe me $10 bucks.

Do I now? Has it already been a week? I''d say I won. Did you not just start a post that started with the line, "I don''t understand young girls these days." Sounds like the ladies are getting to you DF.

 

[Alexiszoe]

Date: 5/6/2009 2:16:21 PM
Author: Bliss
Speaking in general terms, love isn''t giving another person what YOU want to give them or what is most convenient or easiest for YOU... It''s about giving your loved one what *they* want and need.


I''m not even talking about diamonds but about gifts and giving in general.


Giving isn''t about YOU, it''s about doing something SELFLESS for once. The whole POINT of giving is doing something nice for the other person, isn''t it? It''s not about YOU the giver, it''s about the one you LOVE, the recipient. At least, that''s what I was taught and believe. When I give DH a gift, it isn''t what I WANT to give him. It''s about what would make HIM happy. Otherwise, what''s the point?

wise words.

Let''s say a husband gives his wife sexy lacy lingerie as a gift even though she prefers practical no frills undies. Yes it is a gift but who is the gift really for?

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 5/6/2009 1:49:28 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
hey,i've been buying my wife jewelry for years now and she haven't complaint yet. geez,isn't this gift? take it or leave it !!

Maybe your wife hasn't complained yet, but I seem to remember you complaining about her not wearing a certain ring you gave her...

I guess it's a good thing she likes her e-ring!

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:43:00 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 5/6/2009 3:15:01 PM
Author: musey

I think you''re right that it''s all about where people draw their own lines.

Exactly. In my opinion, it''s all about what works within a relationship. Some women will only accept a brand name ring, while others care most about the sentiment and would happily accept a ring pop. Most are somewhere in between. And generally speaking (flame suit on), by the time a man is ready to propose, he should have a pretty good idea of where on the spectrum his future fiance falls. If not, communication is KEY.

In the case DF is referring to, the woman had certain expectations her fiance a) wasn''t completely aware of and b) arguably wasn''t that comfortable with after the fact. What I found most disappointing was her reaction, but I made that clear in the other thread.

I absolutely agree with you, EBree. This whole issue is about knowing the person you''re about to marry. Obviously, the OP misjudged his fiance and her priorities. And like you, I did find her reaction quite disappointing. But everyone has their priorities, and when buying a ring, it''s really best if the boyfriend knows what his girlfriend prefers.

 

[MonkeyPie]

So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she "has always dreamed of" - then what?

In a lot of cases, this is ridiculous. I would have been happy with a cz. I would have NEVER told my husband I didn''t like my ring, even if he got me something I wouldn''t have chosen myself, if it was a surprise. We chose my ring together, and I do agree that the man should know his lady well enough to know what she would like, but if all she will be happy with is a 3 carat Tiffany, well then it''s time for that man to walk. Sorry.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 5/6/2009 1:17:01 PM
Author: musey
My then-boyfriend and I considered the e-ring a joint purchase symbolizing out mutual decision to get married. As such, we chose the ring together.

DITTO!!! Our own custom mix of "tradition" and modern values. I''d be uncomfortable accepting a "gift" that valuable with no input -- given the fact that budget is def. a factor & I know that I am very particular, and he had no romantic fantasy about the gesture. Our decisions worked for us.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of "if it''s in the budget"...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

 

[Steel]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:12:11 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 2:57:34 PM
Author: Steel

Date: 5/6/2009 12:44:04 PM
Author:Dancing Fire
after reading that RT thread.since when does a girl get to request where her bf buys the E-ring?

isn''t an E-ring still consider a GIFT nowadays? maybe i should tell my daughters to request a 3+ct D IF from HW when they get engage

I don''t know if I understand the question.

Many of us have posted in RT that we think it might be best for the ring purchased to be returned and an alternative purchased online with PS help. How is that materially different to the girl ''requesting'' the ring be purchased from x vendor in the first place?

Why shouldn''t you daughter request a 3+ D IF from HW? Would it be shocking? If your daughter is to become the third wife of the Sultan of Brunei then she may not expect any less...

It is all relative.

sooo,IYO...if Bill Gates didn''t buy his wife a D IF 20ct then she had been cheated?

Hmmm DF Normally I love a bit of playful banter but I feel like this topic is off topic. I''m not sure what the question actually is?

Should a woman whose DH could afford a .25 be upset/shocked that the next woman in line received a .5 or the woman in front of her a .75 etc.....?

We can all afford what we can afford. We spend what we can or want to. What is the point here?

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

In a lot of cases, this is ridiculous. I would have been happy with a cz. I would have NEVER told my husband I didn''t like my ring, even if he got me something I wouldn''t have chosen myself, if it was a surprise. We chose my ring together, and I do agree that the man should know his lady well enough to know what she would like, but if all she will be happy with is a 3 carat Tiffany, well then it''s time for that man to walk. Sorry.

I believe the post he''s referring to the guy had a budget to get a Tiffany''s ring but opted not to. While many of us would have made the same choice, the ring had a visible inclusion and she seems to have made it clear that Tiffany''s was important to her. I don''t believe she said it had to be Tiff''s AND big AND blingy, YKWIM? I don''t think it''s unreasonable to have expectations that you''ve discussed with your partner and then be upset when they disregard them. To me the issue was a lack of communication.

But if what the person wants is comfortably within the budget than I don''t see what the big deal is.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:46:15 PM
Author: lyra
Maybe you should ask the LIW.

I''m pretty sure that most young women are just happy to receive their engagement ring at all, and whether the execution is exactly what they wanted or not is of less concern to them in general. Some women only want what they have been peer pressured to believe in too. Or what they see in a magazine or on a celebrity. But when it comes down to it, most women are not the pro-consumers that we are on PS.

Ditto this. I was quite disappointed in the OP''s explanation of his fiancee''s reaction, and because of my long history of posting in LIW, I remember that the majority of women posting in that forum/original thread just wanted their BFs to pop the question, and the ring was completely secondary - zip tie and a hunk of coal would have been fine with them. I know almost every woman that has passed through LIW has had somewhere close to that mentality, and the few that were so focused on the ring didn''t really stay that long, or found a delicate way to broach their opinions to their FIs.

The problem with that thread that struck me, is that the OP didn''t seem know at the outset about her clarity issues, and had he had that tidbit of information and originally purchased a VS2 completely eye clean diamond, the whole situation could have been remembered 100% happily, and not a time of hurt feelings on both sides.

Besides, I directed my husband to Whiteflash when it came time to purchase a ring, and the shape that I liked, and the wedding band I planned to wear with it, and everything else was done as a surprise. I don''t see any difference in prefering an online vendor that sells super ideal diamonds and has a good reputation of producing quality custom work as any different than preferring T & Co. She had to know the size differential could happen, and maybe she didn''t care about size because she knew T&Co''s minimum requirements met her minimum requirements.

 

[Linda W]

DancingFire,


You may as well give up. You are not going to win this argument.

These ladies always know what they are talking about.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:25:06 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay DF. Now I didn''t want to get into this with you on the OP''s thread, but I will here.

If you read my response the critical point of it was ''IF THE BUDGET THEY DECIDED ALLOWS FOR A HARRY WINSTON RING'' and that''s what she wants, AND HE ASKS HER WHAT SHE WANTS... AND SHE TELLS HIM THE TRUTH AND THEY CAN AFFORD IT... then why shouldn''t she get it?

You get it? I am not saying that a woman should demand a Harry Winston ring. BUT... if the guy has a 50K budget and asks her what she wants, and she says, ''Harry Winston''... they why the heck not? Is it any different than saying, ''I want a OMC like cushion H-I color VS2 or better clarity, in a micro pave band of no more than 2.1 mm thickness ...and please make sure it sparkles!'' Or I want the largest whitest, prettiest princess cut you can afford... and honey put all the money in the rock, just get me a plain solitare setting.

It''s not ''young girls'' being ''entitled''... it''s you taking what I said and warping it.

However their discussion did not end there. He reminded her that there were other options where the money would go farther and she acquiesed and left the discussion with "I trust you, do what you think is best".

In hindsight he will probably not fall for that trap again. The next time she says "I''ll leave it to your judgement" a smart man will say "do you have a preference, speak now or hold your peace"

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:30:25 PM
Author: purrfectpear

However their discussion did not end there. He reminded her that there were other options where the money would go farther and she acquiesed and left the discussion with 'I trust you, do what you think is best'.

DITTO THIS.

Just be honest, and nothing will go wrong. If you want to be a smarty pants about it, then mistakes will be made. I honestly feel bad for the OP in that other thread. If she had just SAID what she preferred, he wouldn't have felt the need to try and get her a larger diamond for the budget, as opposed to an eye-clean one.

ETA: Yes, she said she wanted Tiffany - but she didn't say it was because the clarity was held in higher regard.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:30:25 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 5/6/2009 3:25:06 PM
Author: Gypsy
Okay DF. Now I didn''t want to get into this with you on the OP''s thread, but I will here.

If you read my response the critical point of it was ''IF THE BUDGET THEY DECIDED ALLOWS FOR A HARRY WINSTON RING'' and that''s what she wants, AND HE ASKS HER WHAT SHE WANTS... AND SHE TELLS HIM THE TRUTH AND THEY CAN AFFORD IT... then why shouldn''t she get it?

You get it? I am not saying that a woman should demand a Harry Winston ring. BUT... if the guy has a 50K budget and asks her what she wants, and she says, ''Harry Winston''... they why the heck not? Is it any different than saying, ''I want a OMC like cushion H-I color VS2 or better clarity, in a micro pave band of no more than 2.1 mm thickness ...and please make sure it sparkles!'' Or I want the largest whitest, prettiest princess cut you can afford... and honey put all the money in the rock, just get me a plain solitare setting.

It''s not ''young girls'' being ''entitled''... it''s you taking what I said and warping it.

However their discussion did not end there. He reminded her that there were other options where the money would go farther and she acquiesed and left the discussion with ''I trust you, do what you think is best''.

In hindsight he will probably not fall for that trap again. The next time she says ''I''ll leave it to your judgement'' a smart man will say ''do you have a preference, speak now or hold your peace''

PP. I was referring to what I said to DF in (one of the many) threadjacks not to the specific fact pattern of that thread. Please refer to the below for illumination and to pages 2 and 3 of the post on RT:

DF:

c''mon ladies be reasonable...
you mean to tell me that if you ask your BF for a HW E-ring you would then expect a HW ? or else you''ll be all Piss off ? i am not talking about clarity here just the brand vs unbranded.
it is always harder to find a "mind clean" stone than a eye clean stone.


ME:
DF, is it any different than asking for a princess cut or an ''omc like cushion with large facets''? If he has a budget that can afford a HW ring comfortably. Asks me what I want, and only thing I asked for was that the ring be HW? And then he promptly goes and buys something from GOG because a bunch of strangers on the internet tell him to? Yes, I would be miffed. Would I tell him to take a hike? Not necessarily. I would only tell him to take a hike if he knew and didn''t care at all that HW was what I wanted, and deliberately decided he knew better than I did, and bought a ring he preferred, completely disregarding my feelings then, when I objected... proceeded to yell at me and call me irrational.
Because the problem wouldn''t be the ring. The problem would be that he didn''t care about me. And it wouldn''t be the ring I was kicking out the door. It would be him. The ring would just have been the vehicle that would have openned my eyes to what a jerk he is.


DF: so if my wife wants a 5ct then i should buy her a 5ct? or else she should divorce me? bedtime


DF: FOLLOWED THAT WITH THIS POST. My post to DF above (which you qouted) was not in reference to the fact pattern in that thread. But in response to the tangent he proposed in that thread. Hope this helps you place the context of my comments in this thread a little more accurately.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:35:47 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 5/6/2009 4:30:25 PM
Author: purrfectpear
However their discussion did not end there. He reminded her that there were other options where the money would go farther and she acquiesed and left the discussion with ''I trust you, do what you think is best''.

DITTO THIS.

Just be honest, and nothing will go wrong. If you want to be a smarty pants about it, then mistakes will be made. I honestly feel bad for the OP in that other thread. If she had just SAID what she preferred, he wouldn''t have felt the need to try and get her a larger diamond for the budget, as opposed to an eye-clean one.

ETA: Yes, she said she wanted Tiffany - but she didn''t say it was because the clarity was held in higher regard.

I didn''t feel like the issue for her (primarily) was that she was disappointed in the non-Tiffany ring, it seemed like it was the "glaring" inclusion (who knows how accurate that is, but that''s the way she-through him-made it sound) that was the dealbreaker for her.

Honestly, they both made mistakes, in my opinion. He should probably have known better on the issue of the stone - we are not talking about mind-clean nebulous ideas of clarity, we are talking about eye-clean. She probably should have known to mention the importance of clarity (and again, if the issue WAS the non-Tiffany ring, yes she should have made that more clear), but maybe she didn''t think it was necessary, that it should be a given.

Who knows.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:50:09 PM
Author: musey

Date: 5/6/2009 4:35:47 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 5/6/2009 4:30:25 PM
Author: purrfectpear
However their discussion did not end there. He reminded her that there were other options where the money would go farther and she acquiesed and left the discussion with ''I trust you, do what you think is best''.

DITTO THIS.

Just be honest, and nothing will go wrong. If you want to be a smarty pants about it, then mistakes will be made. I honestly feel bad for the OP in that other thread. If she had just SAID what she preferred, he wouldn''t have felt the need to try and get her a larger diamond for the budget, as opposed to an eye-clean one.

ETA: Yes, she said she wanted Tiffany - but she didn''t say it was because the clarity was held in higher regard.

I didn''t feel like the issue for her (primarily) was that she was disappointed in the non-Tiffany ring, it seemed like it was the ''glaring'' inclusion (who knows how accurate that is, but that''s the way she-through him-made it sound) that was the dealbreaker for her.

Honestly, they both made mistakes, in my opinion. He should probably have known better on the issue of the stone - we are not talking about mind-clean nebulous ideas of clarity, we are talking about eye-clean. She probably should have known to mention the importance of clarity (and again, if the issue WAS the non-Tiffany ring, yes she should have made that more clear), but maybe she didn''t think it was necessary, that it should be a given.

Who knows.

That''s how I see it too...

 

[Elmorton]

You know, I don''t know when the ring became a big surprise - I think that''s an advertising thing that has been hyped up by the media.

According to my dad, my parents had talked about getting married, so he drove my mom to his hometown to visit the family''s jeweler. My mom and dad picked out a stone and setting. The proposal? My dad dropped by my mom''s apt and got down on his knee while she was sitting on the couch.

My grandmothers I think both got rings AFTER getting married - my grandma was married to my grandpa 6 days after he returned from being a POW in WWII, so I have a feeling they weren''t exactly thinking about rings at that point. And, as far as being a "forever symbol," I know one but perhaps both of my grandmothers had upgraded rings later on (which is funny, because I learned from my parents that your ring is forever).

In other words, I think what''s "supposed to be" etiquette concerning an e-ring changes with time and advertising. While I know my love of diamonds is partly because of that same advertising, I think any sentence with "supposed" and "wedding" or "e-ring" is probably hooey.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 3:54:11 PM
Author: VRBeauty

Date: 5/6/2009 1:49:28 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
hey,i''ve been buying my wife jewelry for years now and she haven''t complaint yet. geez,isn''t this gift? take it or leave it !!

Maybe your wife hasn''t complained yet, but I seem to remember you complaining about her not wearing a certain ring you gave her...

I guess it''s a good thing she likes her e-ring!

she does wear her other solitaire.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:30:16 PM
Author: Linda W
DancingFire,


You may as well give up. You are not going to win this argument.

These ladies always know what they are talking about.

I have to say, though - I''m on a male dominated forum, and I hear stores like those all of the time . . . "she wanted at lease X.XX size" or "she wanted it to be from Tiffany''s" or "she wanted me to spend at least $XX,XXX".

From the male perspective, women who don''t have some sort of demands on an engagement ring seem like the statistical outliers to them.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by "if it''s in the budget" ??
so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:44:40 PM
Author: Elmorton
You know, I don''t know when the ring became a big surprise - I think that''s an advertising thing that has been hyped up by the media.

According to my dad, my parents had talked about getting married, so he drove my mom to his hometown to visit the family''s jeweler. My mom and dad picked out a stone and setting. The proposal? My dad dropped by my mom''s apt and got down on his knee while she was sitting on the couch.

My grandmothers I think both got rings AFTER getting married - my grandma was married to my grandpa 6 days after he returned from being a POW in WWII, so I have a feeling they weren''t exactly thinking about rings at that point. And, as far as being a ''forever symbol,'' I know one but perhaps both of my grandmothers had upgraded rings later on (which is funny, because I learned from my parents that your ring is forever).

In other words, I think what''s ''supposed to be'' etiquette concerning an e-ring changes with time and advertising. While I know my love of diamonds is partly because of that same advertising, I think any sentence with ''supposed'' and ''wedding'' or ''e-ring'' is probably hooey.

I totally agree with you Elmorton. I feel like a lot of the problems having to do with engagements are caused by people try to follow the "tradition" or what they''re "supposed" to do even though it''s not actually the norm and is really more of a modern concept.

The idea that the engagement has to be a surprise is what really confuses me. Even ladies who pick out their own ering then want their BF to "surprise" them with the proposal to be "traditional." I don''t really understand it...how can it be a surprise if you know he has the ring because YOU picked it out?

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 5/6/2009 5:58:46 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/6/2009 4:05:56 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 5/6/2009 3:59:14 PM
Author: MonkeyPie
So if the woman wants a Tiffany ring and her husband-to-be can''t afford one - or can''t afford one in the size she ''has always dreamed of'' - then what?

This is all in the context of ''if it''s in the budget''...I don''t think any of us would advocate going nuts. But if a girl tells her guy what she''d like and it''s in the budget-he needs to listen!

what do you meant by ''if it''s in the budget'' ??
so if the guy has $50K in his account then the girl should ask for a $50K e-ring?

Not how much money is in his account -- a budget that the man has said he feels comfortable spending or a budget that was discussed by the couple and they feel comfortable spending.