i dont like my ring what should i do?

[engageme]

Ok...well I am not going to get involved in the should she look to replace the diamond or the boyfriend...or both. But I did want to tell you all what I did just last Tuesday.

I purchased, online, exactly the setting my girl friend wanted with the size diamond she wanted. I took her opinions because, "she would be wearing it for the rest of her life" and wanted to make sure she got what she wanted. We went to many B&M places so I could get ideas of what she liked, then I went online and purchased it. (Don't hurt me but I got it at bluenile.com.)

For me, makeing sure she got what she wanted was more important to me then the cost or what I wanted to get her....reason: Above all, I wanted her to be happy and because if she is going to be wearing that on her finger 'for the rest of her life", I am going to have to look at it and listen to her either complain or praise me for the rest of my life. And I think hearing prise is alot better then hearing her complain.

So seems to me one of two things happend here with him,
1. He walked in with $1,000 and said to the sales person, "Hi, I want to get my girlfriend an engagement ring and I have a budget of $1000." or
2. He walked in and purchased the first thing he saw to put on her finger because he had to...not because he wanted to.


Just my 2 cents....

 

[stephinextremis]

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On 9/10/2004 4:35:56 PM engageme wrote:

I took her opinions because, 'she would be wearing it for the rest of her life' and wanted to make sure she got what she wanted.
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Exactly! My fiance proposed, ring-less, saying, "I'm not dumb enough to try to pick something YOU are going to wear forever without your input." He ended up telling me, "You have X dollars, let me know when you need my credit card info." True, it's not the romantic vision many women have of the moment they get engaged, but it surely helps to avoid ring dissatisfaction in the future. Personally, I was just happy he was asking, ring or no1

 

[engageme]

Exactly my point. I got her what she will love to have and show on her hand. It's a .70 D/VVS2 Ideal Cut Round with 18k gold setting w/10 diamonds (1/4 ct. total weight) on the sides. (the quality is higher then what she wanted however I couldn't resist getting it) It's not the exact setting we saw shopping (she actually liked 3 different styles, some with setting on the side and the 3 diamond past,present,future) but it very closely matches the side setting one she did like.

Now, she will be happy and pleased and I will be happy and pleased to give her the ring. I will get the ring on Monday, appraise it on Tuesday and propose when we are in Vegas in early Oct.

Maybe a sit down talk with him would be a good thing to do.

 

[Bella]

I'll probably have a hard time articulating this, but I'll try. I think a woman who is unhappy with an engagement ring should try her hardest just to live with it - and I say this only because it happened to me. I wanted (and made my wishes known to hubby) a bezel setting. Instead, he bought me a tiffany-style 6-prong because he thought it was more sparkle-y. While I was disappointed at first, I started to think about what the ring represents, and I concluded that it represents him, and not me. Here's where I have a hard time articulating: for example, if I designed my engagement ring and he died, and I remarried, would my second ring be identical? It would be identical as long as my tastes didn't change. So every ring I design would reflect me and my tastes. But when I thought about allowing the ring to reflect huddby's tastes instead of mine, the more I liked that idea. So now when I look at the ring, I don't see my own creation but his. And that makes it more reflective of him, because if I designed all my own rings, they'd all reflect me and be totally unrelated to who hubby is. I know that probably doesn't make sense, but that's the best I can explain it. Now, I am totally happy with a ring that I would not have purchased for myself.

 

[reena]

bella, i think you did a pretty darn GOOD job of explaining that!

i had honestly never considered it from that perspective before. but i think it's a really nice way to look at the issue.