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I don''t know if I love my ring!!!!!!

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noreen925

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
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I recently got engaged and am very happy. Except for one thing! Okay I don''t mean to sound ungrateful or unappreciative, but my fiance picked out a ring for me. I like everything about it, the cut, the band, but I am just not LOVING it and it makes me so sad. I feel like it is small!!!!! I just always saw myself with a bigger center stone. This is 1.81 carat ...beautiful hearts and arrows, but why do I feel it looks small
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I know some people must be thinking I am complaining but that''s how I feel. Shouldn''t a girl LOVE her ring. Check out the pics. Gimme some advice/reassurance please!!!!

My ring456745689.jpg
 
this is another pic of it up close

My ring 232379545.JPG
 
I think it''s beautiful!
 
Your e-ring is gorgeous!!! You should be proud of it!!!

ETA: And 1.81 carats is not small by any means!
 
I think part of the problem is that most people have no concept of what 1 carat, 1.5 carats, 1.8, 2 etc actually look like.

But girl, your ring is huge. Do NOT mention this to your FI. That is my tip to you. :-)
 
it''s not small at all! it''s huge. It looks beautiful, and live with it for at least a year, then maybe think about upgrading or so for your first anniversary.
 
I know it''s not funny but I see the humor in this because I just got a 1.58 center stone set very similar to yours and I''m concerned it''s too big!!!
 
Haha, I have a .9ct solitaire, and I've gotten so many compliments about what a huge, gorgeous rock it is.
So I think the 1.8ct is definitely big enough!

If you still want more finger coverage, maybe get it reset in a halo setting for your one yr anniversary? And you can reuse this setting later for a RHR. I also think your fiance would be less sensitive to changing the setting than the stone (some guys get pretty attached to the diamond itself, probably wouldn't take to kindly to the idea of trading it in for something bigger anytime soon).

And I actually don't know if the majority of girls are totally ga-ga over the ring if they didn't have any input at all. It's a lot to ask for a guy to pick out such an important and unique piece of jewelery that perfectly suits his girl's taste. Most girls I know who got a ring that their fiance picked out alone love their ring, but it's not what they would have picked out. I would definitely have picked a different setting than my fiance, but it doesn't really matter, I love him and so I love the ring :) It's not something worth worrying over.
 
Ummmm, your diamon is huge. Most people only get .5, maybe .75, less alone almost 2 carots, and its very lovely. Like others have said, maybe wait a year and upgrade for your anniversary
 
Date: 6/24/2009 9:04:39 PM
Author:noreen925
I just always saw myself with a bigger center stone.
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Why? Because that''s what you saw growing up? Because you envisioned yourself as some kind of movie star? Trophy wife? Super rich?

Its hard to give you advice or reassurance w/o knowing where you''re coming from *expectation*-wise. Because, frankly, 99% of the members of this forum would be head over heels out of our minds thrilled with a ring that size. Yet I also know folks in certain communities that go by an "under 2 would never do" rule of thumb when it comes to carat size.

Where did you ever get such an idea?
 
I would encourage you not to mention this to your FI and just proudly wear this absolutely gorgeous ring. It is huge, and so beautiful, my advice is to just enjoy it, many women would love a ring like this and will never see one. 1.81 carats is not a small stone! I have just received a one carat ring after 25 years of marriage and am so thrilled. Congratulations on your engagement!
 
I can say it''s gorgeous how lucky you are to have a gorgeous well cut stone of that size. But am thinking, you won''t listen to that, you want something bigger.... No clue why, it''s a big rock in a gorgeous setting. Most women would be thrilled. Maybe think about how lucky you are.... ??? I know nothing about you, so want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Just my 0.2
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That''s incredibly beautiful and look at the finger coverage! I know it''s not of any consolation but many women get around 1 ct and some smaller. Lots of women would love to be in your shoes to receive what is considered a very large diamond for an e-ring.
 
noreen, I am so sorry you are feeling like this so soon after being engaged!

But, I don't think everyone should be telling her she *should* love it... if she doesn't, she doesn't. And a stone that is huge to some, is small to others. If she thinks it is small, it is small, as it is her stone, not ours.

I also don't think it helps her to say other members would be grateful to have the ring-- I don't see how that is relevant/helps, if anything I bet it is making her feel bad.

I would suggest you talk to your FI about it-- I don't think you should say you don't like the stone, unless you think he would be open to doing an upgrade in the near future. Maybe you can both discuss a different setting, like as a project for you guys to start together. Putting a halo around that stunner would dramatically change the coverage on your finger, and give you the sparkly size you grew up wanting.

Out of curiosity, did he know you wanted something bigger?
 
You have a beautiful e-ring! And that thing is HUGE! What is your ring size? My finger is a 4.75 and that thing would take up my whole finger. IMO it has great finger coverage on yours! I agree with the other ladies here, you may want to look at putting a halo around it if you want to make it "bigger".
 
I can take it off your hands if you want
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Honestly, it''s beautiful.
 
hi noreen :)

if it''s truly bothering you, put 2 x .75ct matching stones either side of it for your 1st/2nd/3rd/whichever anniversary. that would give it a total carat weight of 3.3ct, not counting the melee on the band.

then hire the 2 big burly boys you''re gonna need to run round either side of you, holding up your hand for you!

yowza!
 
1.81 carats too small? yeah, I hear ya. My 18kt gold floors are so cold in the morning geesh! I hate having to put on my 10,000 egyptian thread-count slippers and matching robe. Don''t even get me started about the reception on my platinum-chromed plasma high def lcd liquid 29,000 inch megadocious television.


I kid, I kid. My tv is 52 inches.
 
I get that you had in your mind the size stone you wanted and this is not quite what you had in mind. I definitely felt that with my (3rd) upgrade that was 1.7,
but I think you should not say anything at all about your feelings about this because I am sure your FI''s feelings would be hurt. It is a lovely stone and was
given to you in love so just love it for what it is.

It is true most of us start with much smaller. My first was .25 and I hated it and truly picked it because it was the cheapest one in the store, we were 20 and
broke. I changed it after 5+ years for a .75. I wore that one for 20 years. Tell yourself you are one lucky girl, that during this difficult economy you were able
to get a lovely, very large stone. You will grow to love it.

I usually dont love things right away either. It has to grow on me. Just a couple weeks ago I got a final upgrade stone, and it is beautiful but I had to warm up
to it. Sometimes you just need to give yourself time. Keep reminding yourself how beautiful it is and how lucky you are like a reality mantra. Please dont
say anything to your FI!
 
Ok, I normally lurk, but I felt like I needed to say something. I think everyone is being a little harsh.
I started out with a 1.5ct that was actually very beautiful but faced up like 1.25ct. I had no real concept of large stones, except very very large stones that my aunt wears. It''s been 5 years and we were able to upgrade to my present stone, which I love and will probably hold on to for quite a while if not for good.
I felt the same way at first, but mostly because we had discussed the size of the stone and both had decided 1.5 looked great and was very large comparatively to my group of friends and family, but the stone was noticeably smaller than I remembered. I did not let my fiance/husband know that I was a bit disappointed and that was probably best because we had the opportunity to upgrade and we did and he was receptive, most likely because it was not presented to him as he had potentially failed me in the original ering.

I think the stone is beautiful and it looks gorgeous on your finger. I don''t think it looks small at all, I hope some of this is reassuring to you...
 
I think your ring is gorgeous. I had a .47 cts. diamond when I got engaged and then for my 25th anniversary upgraded to a 1.046. I''d be on the floor (lol) if I had a 1.81. Your ring doesn''t look small at all.
 
Date: 6/24/2009 9:44:55 PM
Author: Kaleigh
I can say it''s gorgeous how lucky you are to have a gorgeous well cut stone of that size. But am thinking, you won''t listen to that, you want something bigger.... No clue why, it''s a big rock in a gorgeous setting. Most women would be thrilled. Maybe think about how lucky you are.... ??? I know nothing about you, so want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Just my 0.2
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My thoughts exactly.
 
Noreen

Practical joke day is April 1..........I''ll just assume your totally joking that 1.81 is too small.....considering that 90% of all purchases are less than 1 carat.......just saying...
 
OMG!!!! Your ring is gorgeous!!!! Its icey white!!!!
Ok...ok....ok.....did he promise you a 5 ct and then give you a 1.81ct???? Thats cold!!!!
Just kidding!!!
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Come on girl....your stone is HUGE.....1.81ct is not small. Let it grow on you and it will.
And I thought I was bad for thinking mine is small
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I think your ring is gorgeous and looks wonderful on your hand.
 
You know, Noreen, I would love a nice 3 carat marquise. But, all things being equal, it just wasn''t in the cards when we got engaged: I was still in graduate school, and my husband was a post-doc. We managed to find a beautiful ring together that satisfied me in every way - you can see a pic in my icon. It''s a little under a carat and a half.

This is one of the reasons that I think couples should really do these things together: since you don''t list the stats/origin of your ring, I have no idea if your fiance made any choices that you would have had another way (say, a name brand vs. a custom ring from a reputable jeweler, color or clarity higher than you would have preferred in proportion to size, etc.). But I do think it''s a delicate subject. So ... think. Is this more or less in keeping with what you think your fiance can swing financially? In keeping with future goals, if you want a big wedding, a house in the near future, kids ...? Is it worth raising as diplomatically as possible if you''re still in the return period?

For what it''s worth, I think your stone looks lovely and v. large on your hand - well, that is, the part of me that doesn''t suspect you''re a troll. But, even if you are, the advice stands, for anybody else who''s ever looked at their ring and felt a little twinge, or worried about the possibility while waiting for an engagement: COMMUNICATE with your partner!
 
Date: 6/24/2009 10:02:46 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl
noreen, I am so sorry you are feeling like this so soon after being engaged!


But, I don''t think everyone should be telling her she *should* love it... if she doesn''t, she doesn''t. And a stone that is huge to some, is small to others. If she thinks it is small, it is small, as it is her stone, not ours.


I also don''t think it helps her to say other members would be grateful to have the ring-- I don''t see how that is relevant/helps, if anything I bet it is making her feel bad.


I would suggest you talk to your FI about it-- I don''t think you should say you don''t like the stone, unless you think he would be open to doing an upgrade in the near future. Maybe you can both discuss a different setting, like as a project for you guys to start together. Putting a halo around that stunner would dramatically change the coverage on your finger, and give you the sparkly size you grew up wanting.


Out of curiosity, did he know you wanted something bigger?
Click to expand...
i totally agree! you said you love the stone and the band, but maybe it''s the way it looks together that you don''t like? i would definitely look into different settings since there are so many to choose from. it could totally change the way the stone itself looks. i hope you do grow to love it though...i think it looks fantastic on and congrats on getting engaged!
 
Date: 6/24/2009 10:02:46 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl
noreen, I am so sorry you are feeling like this so soon after being engaged!


But, I don't think everyone should be telling her she *should* love it... if she doesn't, she doesn't. And a stone that is huge to some, is small to others. If she thinks it is small, it is small, as it is her stone, not ours.


I also don't think it helps her to say other members would be grateful to have the ring-- I don't see how that is relevant/helps, if anything I bet it is making her feel bad.


I would suggest you talk to your FI about it-- I don't think you should say you don't like the stone, unless you think he would be open to doing an upgrade in the near future. Maybe you can both discuss a different setting, like as a project for you guys to start together. Putting a halo around that stunner would dramatically change the coverage on your finger, and give you the sparkly size you grew up wanting.


Out of curiosity, did he know you wanted something bigger?
Click to expand...

Noreen herself said that she was in need of some reassurance, and people have different ways of giving reassurance. I'm sure she can decide for herself whether those comments are helpful or not.
 
Ok....ok.....Noreen.....If you're asking for something like this, then yes absolutely, your ring is too small girl, what was the boy thinking????

9.61 ct Asscher.jpg
 
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