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How will you tell people?

sjm

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
47
As the engagement ring process is ending and I am excitedly awaiting a proposal I have begun thinking about spreading the good news!

So my questions are:
- Have you thought about who you would tell first and how? Will it be a phone call? Showing up in person? Facebook?
- Is everyone expecting this news or will it be a complete surprise for everyone?

I think it is funny because no one close to me will be surprised by engagement news however there are a number of acquaintances I have not seen in a while and co-workers who I feel like may not even know I am seeing someone or that the relationship has gotten serious to the point of engagement. When I meet up with friends I am a pretty open book and share a lot with them (thought not everything) but at work I am far more reserved and don't mention SO very often because really, it either doesn't come up or I feel wierd that it's over-sharing!

What will it be like for you?
 

OrchidVee

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
98
I was thinking the same thing last night!!! I will definitely call all of the most important people first (parents and best friends). For some people I will just send out a mass text, because if I called everyone, it would take us HOURS!!! After everyone has been notified by us, I will put up a FB status and change my relationship status, but I haven't decided if I will be putting a picture of the ring up yet. I don't have a problem with others doing it, I just haven't decided if I want to or not. Part of me feels like if i don't, I will be getting the same posts over and over again, "Where is the picture?", "Show us the picture!!". I dunno; maybe it's just my friends that will do that LOL.
 

MayFlowers

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
944
I hope that we will be able to tell my parents in person since they live in town. We will probably tell them first and then proceed to call BF's dad and stepmom, and his sister and nieces. I have a feeling that most of his family will end up finding out "through the grape vine" because we don't have everyone's number on his stepmom's side. Everyone else will most likely get a mass text, because like OrchidVee, it would take forever to call everyone! Once we have made the announcement to our closest relatives and friends, I plan to also change my facebook status and relationship status.

As for the ring picture, I still haven't decided if I will post a close-up of the ring. I'm hoping that after he proposes, we will be able to get a picture of us together. Maybe something like the typical engagement pose, or maybe something just similar where you will be able to see the ring, but it's not a close-up shot. Then I can use that for my new profile picture. (Can you tell I have thought about this A LOT?! :lol: )

Oh and most everyone will be expecting it. Some of my relatives may be surprised because they all live out of town and we don't see them often. So, they may not realize that BF and I were that serious yet.
 

wakingdreams53

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2010
Messages
891
Since my saga had many twists, I got a "taste" of what spreading the news would be like. The proposal was late at night and it was decided we wouldn't spread he news until there was a ring, but I had to tell my best friend, so I called her next day and she was beyond excited. I was living away at the time and surprised my mom with a visit home to tell her as well. Dad didn't know because SO still wanted to ask permission/be proper. Etc., Etc., Etc., saga, saga, saga, I'm not engaged or even an LIW anymore lol.

Had none of this occurred, We'd probably call/see our closest friends and family, then do the Facebook thing. As for posting the ring on fb, I probably would have an Engagement album (not instantly, lol) with pics of SO and I and perhaps an artsy shot of the ring.

ETA, anyone that I already told is expecting it, AKA best friend, mom, 3 other very close friends of mine. On his side, he only told one person, so they're expecting it. Our families would be surprised. Then again, it's hard to say, because engagement isn't on the horizon at all anymore. Maybe by then it'll be expected by them as well.
 

sjm

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
47
Thanks for the replies! I hadn;t really given any thought to the issue of posting a ring picture on FB recently though I believe there was once a thread about it. I don't think I will post a close up picture of the ring. SO does film and photography so I am sure that when we take e-pics (which I am certain he will insist on and which I want) there will be distance pictures of the ring. That said I LOVE being able to see the rings acquaintaces end up with on FB when they are people I wouldn't really call to get together with but I don't think I will do it.

Both our parents live in the same city so I guess we wil go from one house to the other. Perhaps this will depend on time of day too... My sisters both live in other countries and have told me in no uncertain terms to call then at any time of the day or night (one sister lives in a time zone 7 hours ahead) to give the news. If we actually go from one house to the other I might actually call my sisters first because I don't want parents spreading the news to other people before they know and SO's sisters live at home.
 

maebelle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
826
I don't know because we have lots of friends who are MUCH more into sharing everything and being boisterous. I know mostly I've heard through texts or the grapevine so that seems the standard way of doing things. Of course I'll call my parents, and a few of my really close friends...

There is a girl who was recently engaged (4-5 weeks ago?) and she's gone WAY overboard with making sure everyone on facebook knows shes "GETTING MARRIED!!!1!111". (She has consistently posted about being engaged at least once a week, in case we forget) Which has made me think that I will certainly put that I'm engaged on facebook, but take down the newsfeed status update so it doesn't show up in everyone's feed. Everyone who actually talks to us will know, but the tier of facebook friends that you haven't talked to in forever won't start asking for ring pics.
 

mjertl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
203
my parents are expecting it, but I feel weird telling them over the phone. I was thinking about taking a picture of the ring on my hand and texting it to them, then they can call me... I don't know!
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,201
I called my parents and grandparents and 1-2 close friends. I sent an email to everyone else. Kept it off of facebook for as long as possible but once people know there are inevitable "congrats" posts that beg a formal response.
 

ame

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,763
We called my mom, though she didn't answer her phone....my dad and brother knew. Then I called my best friends, then I called my mom again. I assume he called his folks also.

We were engaged long before FB was ever a public thing, so it was just spread word of mouth. I THINK we had a family event like two days later or something so I told everyone on that side then.
 

violette

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2011
Messages
5
I've been thinking about this too, and will definitely call my parents and good friends right away (well, at least before telling anyone else). I won't mind spending some initial time with my SO, or even waiting until the next day if he proposes late at night. I'm also in an earlier time zone from most of my family and close friends, so I probably won't call my parents if it's too late, but there are a few good friends I can call late at night. None of my immediate family will be surprised by the news, so while it's very exciting, it's not going to be *that* major.

I've suggested to my SO that we invite his family over for brunch (they're always hinting that we should have them over more!) to share the news, so we might do that, but if not I'm sure he'll at least call his mom and get that grapevine started. I might also just want to go over to see his mom in person -- this is one of those times when it will suck to be so far away from my family and hometown, and it might be nice to tell at least some family members in person! I also adore his mom, and know she will be super-excited, and I think it would be fun to share that with her.

Then I'll probably tell my other friends around here over the next day or two when I see them, and finally put the announcement up on facebook, after we've told the people who I think should be told directly by us. SO doesn't care, and is happy to post the news on FB immediately, but I think I've convinced him that at least for my grandma's sake I need to call her, rather than she hear about it secondhand from a cousin or something, so I can maybe keep it off the internet for a day or two. SO has joked about tweeting the proposal though (he hosts a somewhat popular blog and podcast, so he often teases me about things like that). It just makes me happy that he wants to share the good news, regardless of whether I think it's "proper" or not!
 

NCSUchick27

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 16, 2009
Messages
120
I will probably call my closest friends and family to tell them the big news. Everyone else will probably find out through Facebook.
 

LittleRiver

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2011
Messages
314
I love thinking about this! I will call my immediate family and 1-2 closest friends. A few friends know I am waiting for the ring so I have been toying with the idea of texting them just a pic of the ring on my hand. I also plan to text/email a larger group of friends with the news. We will wait as long as possible to change our relationship status on FB.
 

Sun-Shine

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 1, 2011
Messages
94
I had never thought about this until I saw this post... (It is now my little break-from-studying fantasy. I know shame on me, I should be in the chem lab) I suppose we would have to call our families as we both relocated in our 20's and met nearly three years ago in our current city, and seeing as we don't have FB I'd probably just wait for my friends to notice as I saw them.
 

RebeccaMUA

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
205
My fiancee and I hadn't really thought that part through ( my family and his mother, aunts and cousins already knew he was going to ask), and once we were engaged we literally whipped out our phones, called our parents, texted a picture to close family members and friends and stuck a pic of the ring with a caption of "just engaged" on facebook and let the congrats roll in. There were just so many people who were waiting to hear about it, that it just made more sense that way.
 

peonies

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
62
My situation is a little different and has definitely played a role in our engagement process! I'm still in school, and for my sorority there is a beautiful ritual for engaged girls. But in order to have your ritual you have to keep your engagement a secret, which is going to be so hard for me! Not telling 100 of my best friends might actually be impossible... so my boyfriend understands that an engagement can't happen until school starts again so I don't have to keep the secret for too long! So all of my closest friends will find out at the same time. : )

As for our parents, I think we are going to call my parents (out of state) and probably tell his in person.
 
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