How to drop a not too subtle hint - advise please

[Samantha Red]

My beloved, very much younger (ten years), boyfriend of five years is taking me to our favourite hotel in a couple of weekends time. It is in the Lake District here in the UK and is just wonderful, but only the sort of place we can afford to go to once in a very blue moon as it is £300 per night just for dinner, bed and breakfast.

We talk about getting married quite a bit, in fact he woke me on Saturday with the words, ''I would love to get married to you'', but there is always the issue of cost and priorities.

When we first visited this hotel we dreamed of getting married there, but it would be way over budget for us, so to me the next best thing would be to get engaged there. I have said things like how much I am looking forward to the weekend because it so romantic there, and what a shame it is we can''t get married there, but I am wondering if there is anything else I can do without actually saying ''propose or else!''.

He booked the hotel as a gift for my birthday last month, so it is not as if I can be suspicious that he has it planned anyway because he has a genuine reason for us going.

I don''t even want a ring to be presented at the time, because I would kill him if I didn''t get to get involved in the process. It is less common to have a ring at the proposal here in the UK anyway.

So come on you hard core LIW''s what advice do you have for me?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

If the ring isn''t an issue, why don''t you propose to him? I know women who have done this in the past and their giuys say " bloody hell, what are you doing?" and then turn it around and propose to the women. Either way, the question is out there. Best of luck!

 

[Larissa]

"Oh this trip is going to be so wonderful!! I''ve always wanted to get married at X hotel but it''s so expensive, just staying there is such a treat...oh, I know!!...let''s get engaged there. It should be so pretty this time of year and it''d be wonderful to remember our special weekend at X hotel everytime we think about our engagement."

 

[Samantha Red]

Thanks Hudson, I had thought of that, and I even went as far as to sort of ask what he thought of that. However, bless his heart he is quite a traditionalist, and would be mortified.

 

[MustangFan]

Isn''t it all snowy there right now? I used to lived in the UK and my friend''s said she had a snow day, that would be really nice scenery to get engaged with!

I would hint by saying I know we couldn''t get married here, because it''s very expensive, but it would be wonderful to get engaged at a beautiful place like this..

 

[Samantha Red]

Date: 2/13/2007 10:23:32 AM
Author: MustangFan
Isn''t it all snowy there right now? I used to lived in the UK and my friend''s said she had a snow day, that would be really nice scenery to get engaged with!

I would hint by saying I know we couldn''t get married here, because it''s very expensive, but it would be wonderful to get engaged at a beautiful place like this..

Unfortunately we are back to wet and windy again now, hopefully we will have snow again before we go the week after next. I so wish I was in the mid west US tomorrow, it sounds like there is going to be lots of snow.

Thanks for the pointers, I think the direct approach may be the best one, he is a man after all and subtlety is not their best point

 

[sunshine14]

I don''t know...I wouldn''t say anything more than you already have. If he is already waking you up with words like "I would love to marry you" I don''t think that it is a push that he needs. My only concern would be if you were to wreck something he already has planned.

It seems that marriage is definitely on his radar already, and the worst thing would be to wreck his surprise (if he is planning on proposing) because you know most men...once they feel pushed into it, or that the surprise is ruined, he won''t do it!

I think you should just relax and enjoy this weekend away, and if a proposal doesn''t happen, maybe bring it up after?

Just my two cents!

 

[Samantha Red]

Date: 2/13/2007 11:33:51 AM
Author: sunshine14
I don''t know...I wouldn''t say anything more than you already have. If he is already waking you up with words like ''I would love to marry you'' I don''t think that it is a push that he needs. My only concern would be if you were to wreck something he already has planned.

It seems that marriage is definitely on his radar already, and the worst thing would be to wreck his surprise (if he is planning on proposing) because you know most men...once they feel pushed into it, or that the surprise is ruined, he won''t do it!

I think you should just relax and enjoy this weekend away, and if a proposal doesn''t happen, maybe bring it up after?

Just my two cents!

Thank you Sunshine, that reply has just stopped me in my tracks in a very good way. You are so right, if he does have something planned I would completely ruin it by nagging on about it. He knows what my answer would be, so I should leave it to him. He is pretty intuitive after all, a very clever boy. We are pretty good with reading each other. He took me away a couple of years ago with the intention of proposing and I sensed it and put him off as I didn''t feel ready. Hopefully my radar is right again, and this time is going to be the right time.

 

[sunshine14]

Good for you! I get the same way...kind of so wrapped up that I forget that this is supposed to be his thing...i mean, we get the ring, the story, the wedding etc...and this is their moment to do something special for us!

Good luck and of course...come back with stories from a great weekend and pics

 

[Pandora II]

I''m with Sunshine.

My advice - don''t say a word. My FI gor very upset once that he thought I didn''t trust him to propose properly. I know it''s hard not to have control, but they get a bit miffed if you don''t let them plan it their way.

He probably wants to surprise you and you''ll ruin it if you say anything. My FI was super smiley for a week before and unable to sleep the night before, he kept almost forgetting not to say things - silly me thought he was excited about Christmas

 

[DMBsGirl]

is he the type that wants the proposal to be a surprise? if he is, i would be scared that he was going to propose that day and may in turn put it off if you bring it up and "ruin" the surprise.

ETA: just read the above posts, I see I wasn't alone in my thinking! sending proposal vibes your way!

 

[bee*]

I agree with sunshine. If he is waking you up saying he wants to marry you, I would let him do his thing. Hopefully his thing will be that weekend!!

 

[Samantha Red]

Thank you all for your great advice. I think I wll just go with the flow as the relationship is definitely going through one its warm and fuzzy stages at the moment, which is just lovely, and I don''t want to spoil it If the time is right it will just happen.

Just sometimes when he says stuff like ''I would love to marry you'' I want to shout ''well bloody well get on and do it then'', but I imagine there are lots of you out there that can identify with that sentiment!