jaylex
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2008
- Messages
- 847
Before I start, I would like to apologize in advance because this story will be 99% venting, and 1% questions. And I have a lot of info so it may get rather lengthy.
A couple of weeks ago, I posted this: http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/dview.asp?postID=1905694&mtype=reply
It’s relatively short. Read if you’d like background info. It’s about the same friends I am about to complain to you about
.
Ok. So, on Friday morning on my way to work, I got a call from my friend (“Pam”) asking if Jay and I wanted to hang out with her and her bf (“Nick”) later in the day. I asked if they had anything in mind and she said that, no, they didn’t have any specific plans yet, they just wanted to see if we were going to be free. I said that we were to my knowledge.. And that I’d call her during the day if we wouldn‘t be able to meet with them… but otherwise I’d call her when I got home from work after 5:30.
Fast forward to being at work, stuck in meetings with reps and appointments with clients all day.. Unable to stop to eat let alone talk on the phone.
12:14 Missed Call from Pam, 3:20 Missed Call from Pam, 5:10 Missed Call from Pam, 5:14 Missed Call from Nick
At 5:30, bf picked me up at work and we headed for home. It was then that I looked at my phone and saw the missed calls. I talked to bf about making plans with Pam and Nick. When we got to my house at approx. 5:50, I called Pam and was about to tell her that I was sorry I missed her calls when she blurted out, “I’m at your work talking to your ‘mommy’ (I work for my family’s business)… I know you’re on your way home. We’re hanging out tonight!”
Ok. So she decided to go to my work to hunt me down because I didn’t answer my phone.. Odd enough.
I just brushed it off (they’ve done similar things before) and told her that we would be free to hang out with them and that there was an “old fashion days” carnival thing that we wouldn’t mind going to. They said that it was fine and that they’d be at my house in 10 minutes
They arrive and Pam informs me that they want to go to Buca di Beppo instead so that’s where we were going. After trying to explain to them that Buca would cost more than the carnival and we are trying to save money she said “we’ll I don’t want to go there. I want to go to buca. We have a coupon for free spaghetti so it wont cost US more!”
Well, bf and I had a coupon too.. 10 off when you spend a certain amount so we just figured it would be easiest to just appease them and go to buca.
We get to our table and the waitress informs us that we were only allowed to use one coupon per table. Our friends:
“That Sucks. I guess you guys can''t use your coupon now!”
When we were getting ready to order, Pam and nick kept trying to get us all to order together on one check, then they would give us cash and we could just put the whole thing on our credit card!
We put our foot down and REFUSED to do that.
Now, If you have ever been to buca, the food is served family style.. So small entrees serve 2-3 people. Jay and I wanted a small salad. Nick did also, but Pam didn’t want salad.. So nick said “I’ll give you $5 (half the price of the salad) to split your salad with you guys”.
Not wanting to argue or be the reason Mr. Needy didn‘t get his veggies, we agreed. He throws a $5 bill across the table. I put it away. Our salad comes, and the three of us eat it. Yum.
A couple of times, I heard Nick whisper something to Pam about how he doesn’t know why he gave me $5 when he didn’t REALLY eat half the salad (~~yes he did, he helped himself to the salad before bf and I did, and got seconds.. Then finished off the bowl.~~) after his third comment or so, I said “If it REALLY means that much to you, Nick. I’ll give you the $2 back! I‘ll write you a freaking check!
”. He just looked at me.
Fast forward to the main course. They both kept hinting at the idea that we should share our entree with them. “That looks SOOO good. What does it taste like? We should TOTALLY try that!”
Bf and I just ignored it.
Ok. As if that wasn’t rude enough, they both decided to belch several times throughout the meal! BOTH OF THEM!! It was DISGUSTING! There was a party of four older people sitting directly behind us and I could tell they were disgusted. And the worst part was I knew that were thinking “oh my goodness.. Those rude, disrespectful kids.. Who lets them out in public?” and I know they thought of jay and I that way as well.. after all, they are our friends… we were sitting with them. So I would try to “nicely” tell them that I found their burping to be less than amusing.. And jay tried to tell them as well… But they just kept doing it.
“I don’t even realize it! It’s funny! That was a GOOD one! He he
”
So finally, Nick burps and right after, Pam lets out a MONSTER belch and I finally spoke up and said:
“Ok. Stop it already! There are other people in this restaurant. You are being EXTREMELY rude!
” (in a very stern, less-quiet-than-usual voice).
Bf later told me that the people behind us smiled at me (as if to thank me) when I said that.. I didn’t notice.. I was too pissed off. Pam and Nick seemed shocked for a second... Then rather amused.. Then they actually laughed. Obviously they still didn’t really take me seriously.. Pam burped again.. But at least it was quieter that time.
Ok. So the bill comes. ON ONE CHECK!
They hand me the bill and asked me to add up what they spent for them so they can pay me in cash.. (
Sure! Can I get you a refill while I’m at it?
)
One order of spaghetti: Free
Two Drinks: $5.50
One Half of a Salad: 5
So they still owed me $5.50, plus tip. Pam goes to hand me 5.50 (in singles and quarters) and Nick stops her. “you only owe her 3.50”he says. “No. our drinks were $5.50.. I owe her 5.50”she says “Yeah, but I over paid for the salad. I gave her $5 and only ate $3 worth”. at this point, I’m fuming and totally dreading spending any more time with them. So I texted my brother and told him to call me in 10 min to tell me that he needed me to pick him up from some remote location so that we could get out of hanging out with them any longer.
Nick hands me the $3.50. I slam it in the folder thing, along with my credit card and receipt and wait for the waitress to come take it away. Wouldn’t you know it, bf and I got stuck paying the tip too!
So then, brother comes through for me and my phone rings. “What? You need me to pick you up from where? Ok. I’ll see you in 20
”.
“What! We can’t hang out?! He expects you to drop everything and get him? How Rude!” says Pam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, so for those of you that stuck around to hear that story, first of all, I’m very sorry. I didn’t realize it would be that long.
I’m sure some of you think that we let them get away with too much, and that at the end I should have been honest and told them that I didn’t want to hang out with them for the rest of that night, but with them, it''s not that easy.
Background info: Pam was SEVERELY abused by her biological parents 15 years ago, and DOES not take ANY kind of “rejection” well. To have told her “no” or that we didn’t want to hang out with them for the rest of the night would have INSTANTLY made her start crying. After what we put the other diners through, I didn’t want them to have to deal with yet ANOTHER scene from our table.
I have been friends with Pam since she was adopted and I truly care about her, but we‘re the same age and I‘m extremely concerned that she may never grow up.. So I feel like I can’t just blow her off or stop hanging out with her.
Should bf and I just refuse to go out to eat with them anymore?
Do I try to "sugar coat" the way I feel so that she can MAYBE understand why I’m upset, but tell her in a way that won’t send her into a depression? i just feel like sugar coating doesn''t work because they don''t take me seriously.
Does anyone who has dealt with a similar situation have any advice for me? They are really getting unbearable
Sorry again, fellow LIW’s. Bf and I don''t know what to do! We''re at our whits end(s?)! At least my story may have gotten your mind off of pre-proposal anxiety..?
I know i didn''t even think of it once until now!
A couple of weeks ago, I posted this: http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/dview.asp?postID=1905694&mtype=reply
It’s relatively short. Read if you’d like background info. It’s about the same friends I am about to complain to you about
Ok. So, on Friday morning on my way to work, I got a call from my friend (“Pam”) asking if Jay and I wanted to hang out with her and her bf (“Nick”) later in the day. I asked if they had anything in mind and she said that, no, they didn’t have any specific plans yet, they just wanted to see if we were going to be free. I said that we were to my knowledge.. And that I’d call her during the day if we wouldn‘t be able to meet with them… but otherwise I’d call her when I got home from work after 5:30.
Fast forward to being at work, stuck in meetings with reps and appointments with clients all day.. Unable to stop to eat let alone talk on the phone.
12:14 Missed Call from Pam, 3:20 Missed Call from Pam, 5:10 Missed Call from Pam, 5:14 Missed Call from Nick
At 5:30, bf picked me up at work and we headed for home. It was then that I looked at my phone and saw the missed calls. I talked to bf about making plans with Pam and Nick. When we got to my house at approx. 5:50, I called Pam and was about to tell her that I was sorry I missed her calls when she blurted out, “I’m at your work talking to your ‘mommy’ (I work for my family’s business)… I know you’re on your way home. We’re hanging out tonight!”
Ok. So she decided to go to my work to hunt me down because I didn’t answer my phone.. Odd enough.
I just brushed it off (they’ve done similar things before) and told her that we would be free to hang out with them and that there was an “old fashion days” carnival thing that we wouldn’t mind going to. They said that it was fine and that they’d be at my house in 10 minutes
They arrive and Pam informs me that they want to go to Buca di Beppo instead so that’s where we were going. After trying to explain to them that Buca would cost more than the carnival and we are trying to save money she said “we’ll I don’t want to go there. I want to go to buca. We have a coupon for free spaghetti so it wont cost US more!”
Well, bf and I had a coupon too.. 10 off when you spend a certain amount so we just figured it would be easiest to just appease them and go to buca.
We get to our table and the waitress informs us that we were only allowed to use one coupon per table. Our friends:
“That Sucks. I guess you guys can''t use your coupon now!”
When we were getting ready to order, Pam and nick kept trying to get us all to order together on one check, then they would give us cash and we could just put the whole thing on our credit card!
We put our foot down and REFUSED to do that.
Now, If you have ever been to buca, the food is served family style.. So small entrees serve 2-3 people. Jay and I wanted a small salad. Nick did also, but Pam didn’t want salad.. So nick said “I’ll give you $5 (half the price of the salad) to split your salad with you guys”.
Not wanting to argue or be the reason Mr. Needy didn‘t get his veggies, we agreed. He throws a $5 bill across the table. I put it away. Our salad comes, and the three of us eat it. Yum.
A couple of times, I heard Nick whisper something to Pam about how he doesn’t know why he gave me $5 when he didn’t REALLY eat half the salad (~~yes he did, he helped himself to the salad before bf and I did, and got seconds.. Then finished off the bowl.~~) after his third comment or so, I said “If it REALLY means that much to you, Nick. I’ll give you the $2 back! I‘ll write you a freaking check!
Fast forward to the main course. They both kept hinting at the idea that we should share our entree with them. “That looks SOOO good. What does it taste like? We should TOTALLY try that!”
Bf and I just ignored it.
Ok. As if that wasn’t rude enough, they both decided to belch several times throughout the meal! BOTH OF THEM!! It was DISGUSTING! There was a party of four older people sitting directly behind us and I could tell they were disgusted. And the worst part was I knew that were thinking “oh my goodness.. Those rude, disrespectful kids.. Who lets them out in public?” and I know they thought of jay and I that way as well.. after all, they are our friends… we were sitting with them. So I would try to “nicely” tell them that I found their burping to be less than amusing.. And jay tried to tell them as well… But they just kept doing it.
“I don’t even realize it! It’s funny! That was a GOOD one! He he
So finally, Nick burps and right after, Pam lets out a MONSTER belch and I finally spoke up and said:
“Ok. Stop it already! There are other people in this restaurant. You are being EXTREMELY rude!
Bf later told me that the people behind us smiled at me (as if to thank me) when I said that.. I didn’t notice.. I was too pissed off. Pam and Nick seemed shocked for a second... Then rather amused.. Then they actually laughed. Obviously they still didn’t really take me seriously.. Pam burped again.. But at least it was quieter that time.
Ok. So the bill comes. ON ONE CHECK!
One order of spaghetti: Free
Two Drinks: $5.50
One Half of a Salad: 5
So they still owed me $5.50, plus tip. Pam goes to hand me 5.50 (in singles and quarters) and Nick stops her. “you only owe her 3.50”he says. “No. our drinks were $5.50.. I owe her 5.50”she says “Yeah, but I over paid for the salad. I gave her $5 and only ate $3 worth”. at this point, I’m fuming and totally dreading spending any more time with them. So I texted my brother and told him to call me in 10 min to tell me that he needed me to pick him up from some remote location so that we could get out of hanging out with them any longer.
Nick hands me the $3.50. I slam it in the folder thing, along with my credit card and receipt and wait for the waitress to come take it away. Wouldn’t you know it, bf and I got stuck paying the tip too!
So then, brother comes through for me and my phone rings. “What? You need me to pick you up from where? Ok. I’ll see you in 20
“What! We can’t hang out?! He expects you to drop everything and get him? How Rude!” says Pam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, so for those of you that stuck around to hear that story, first of all, I’m very sorry. I didn’t realize it would be that long.
I’m sure some of you think that we let them get away with too much, and that at the end I should have been honest and told them that I didn’t want to hang out with them for the rest of that night, but with them, it''s not that easy.
Background info: Pam was SEVERELY abused by her biological parents 15 years ago, and DOES not take ANY kind of “rejection” well. To have told her “no” or that we didn’t want to hang out with them for the rest of the night would have INSTANTLY made her start crying. After what we put the other diners through, I didn’t want them to have to deal with yet ANOTHER scene from our table.
I have been friends with Pam since she was adopted and I truly care about her, but we‘re the same age and I‘m extremely concerned that she may never grow up.. So I feel like I can’t just blow her off or stop hanging out with her.
Should bf and I just refuse to go out to eat with them anymore?
Do I try to "sugar coat" the way I feel so that she can MAYBE understand why I’m upset, but tell her in a way that won’t send her into a depression? i just feel like sugar coating doesn''t work because they don''t take me seriously.
Does anyone who has dealt with a similar situation have any advice for me? They are really getting unbearable
Sorry again, fellow LIW’s. Bf and I don''t know what to do! We''re at our whits end(s?)! At least my story may have gotten your mind off of pre-proposal anxiety..?