How petty are you?

[oncrutchesrightnow]

I am not petty or mean at all. It sounds like bragging but it’s kind of weird. Analogous to how some people are missing empathy. Not normal. I think well-rounded human beings should be a little petty sometimes. Any suggestions on how to be petty without hurting anyone too much?

 

[missy]

I am not petty or mean at all. It sounds like bragging but it’s kind of weird. Analogous to how some people are missing empathy. Not normal. I think well-rounded human beings should be a little petty sometimes. Any suggestions on how to be petty without hurting anyone too much?

Respectfully. I disagree. The very definition of petty is "of little importance and trivial" and "marked by or reflective of narrow interests and sympathies : small-minded."

Why would one aspire to being that way at all? Good for you for not being petty or mean at all. That is something to be congratulated for...being a stellar human being. I think that is awesome and you are awesome for being this way.

Interesting you bring up the word empathy. Perhaps you are right in comparing pettiness to lacking empathy, to some degree. As one who has a lot of empathy (an empath) feels very strongly for others so being petty towards others should be harder. I think anyway. From an empath's point of view. Honestly being an empath is very challenging and I would switch in a heartbeat because it is very tough to feel all these feelings and to feel pain when others feel pain. It is mentally and physically exhausting.

Back to the topic at hand.
Being petty.

I am not tit for tat petty person but if someone hurts me I won't let them do it again and will do whatever I can to protect myself. Is that being petty? I don't think so. For me it is self preservation. Preventing myself from getting hurt again.

I never regret any relationship because I learn from each one but there are relationships I have had (friend relationships as I never had this happen with a SO/boyfriend relationship) where the other person fooled me and inevitably hurt me. I had to take measures that might seem harsh from those on the outside looking in but it was for self preservation only. And never to hurt the other person as I was hurt. No, just to protect myself from getting hurt again.

Unfortunately there sometimes are unintended casualties. I know at least one example where the person looking in from the outside thought I was being mean to this fake friend (once I realized what was happening) but she did not have the full story and only got the other person's point of view. And that person twisted all the events that had happened.

Rather than defending myself I moved on...I don't have that kind of energy to defend myself to someone who really doesn't want to know the truth. So there was unexpected fallout due to the frenemy lying to the other individual who I thought was my friend. But that's OK. One day maybe she will see the truth and I hold no hard feelings toward her at all. She was/is fooled by this person just like I had been fooled by this person.

I have moved on and I truly hope that other person can move on too. I learn valuable lessons from each relationship even from the failed ones. So am thankful for each person who was in my life for however brief a time and I never wish anyone ill. I always wish them the best.


From the outside it might seem I was being petty but truly what was happening was the opposite of that. I was protecting myself from being hurt again. That is not being petty at all.





And this quote rings true a million times over. Today more than ever before.
Especially on this date in history. Two decades after September 11. 2001.
And 18 months into the Covid 19 pandemic.


"It's funny, I often think about how, if we were all placed in an apocalyptic situation, you'd realize quickly how stupid, petty things just don't matter anymore. Who you love is who you love, and it doesn't matter."