How old were you when your *biological clock* kicked in?

[luvthemstrawberries]

Haven, Burk, and KimberlyH - Wow, we're all in similar situations indeed! Thanks so much for your responses and for chiming in to my question.

It's nice to see that other people lead similar lives.

I'm also shocked to sometimes think about FI's age - it's weird to even think of it honestly, because that number is the only thing that makes him that age. Otherwise he'd probably be, eh, low 30s. FI's biological clock hasn't "kicked in" per say, but we do talk about children a lot. He's kind of like yours Burke - "whenever you're ready honey!"

Hehe I like that thought of bringing him back to 27!!

I think we're in the same situation as Haven mentioned - we've talked about it, but we wouldn't want it to happen at the moment. Haha, we've got to get married first anyway. But I'm pretty sure we wouldn't want a honeymoon baby, haha. He'll also be at least 40. We don't "worry" about age, but it does come up in conversation, in that we wouldn't want to wait 10 years. But I hear you all on wanting to make sure you're ready. I totally agree. And I have had some varying moments - sometimes I really want a kid, and sometimes I think about how much a kid would uproot our daily routine and how much we're not ready for that yet. So in my mind, that answers my question as to if my biological clock is really "fully" ticking.

Kimberly, I completely agree about being healthy and taking care of yourselves being the most important thing. Taking care of what's in your control. FI and I have always said that either of us could die tomorrow - you never know what could happen. That's why the age thing didn't matter one bit to us.

Thank you guys again.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/23/2009 10:16:34 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
And by the way... from the time I started asking questions like, ''How old were you when your biological clock kicked in?'' until we were preggo was about 6 months.

Lol

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Okay I felt the need to come back and amend or even rescind my post. While I have the same plan (minimum 3 and a half years from now, but hopefully about 4-5 years from now ideally)...I have to say my clock is not in fact ticking. Last night I discovered I was pretty sure I forgot to take my Thursday BC pill which would make sense because I pulled an all-nighter on Wednesday and was up for over 24 hours (with one short nap) by the time I was supposed to take my pill Thursday night..so needless to say I was in a seemingly drunken state.

So..I''ve only done this once before (forgotten to take the pill completely) and seeing as it looks like I did it again..I had a semi-breakdown because I''ve been stressed lately so I overreacted, but I was also mad at myself for forgetting and terrified that I could mess up the whole BC thing. FI''s response to my overreaction was:

. Needless to say..I felt the need to come back and rescind/amend the post because after that fearful response, my clock is in fact..not ticking.

 

[waxing lyrical]

Very early. I was 20 when I had my first.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/24/2009 12:14:59 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/23/2009 10:16:34 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Musey, I don''t know how long you have been married but I seem to think it is not too too long? I think getting married can be a real clock winding event for many women who always knew they would have kids.

Yep you''re right, about 6 months

I''m willing to bet good money you won''t make it 4 more years!

I didn''t!

And by the way... from the time I started asking questions like, ''How old were you when your biological clock kicked in?'' until we were preggo was about 6 months.

No!!!!!! I''m holding firm. My life would be completely different if I had them soon vs. 4+ years from now, and while I would accept and be happy about the sacrifices, it would be a disappointment on some level - I feel like I''ve worked too hard for too long to let it all go just yet.

Wow, I guess I just cleared it up in my head

Thanks, dreamer!!

LOL! Well, you are in the entertainment industry right? That is one place where you can''t really gain 40 lbs and wander off for maternity leave very easily, that''s for sure! Plus you are young... oh so young

... I think that late 20s is the ideal time for having one''s first child. Lots of time to live for yourself and feel ready for the transition to motherhood (which is wonderful, BTW).

As an aside and threadjack, when I was a teeneage I was an actor and I actually have a rather prominent role in an honest-to-goodness kids movie

! Also did some local kids television. After I graduated I was planning to go to acting school but decided last minute to switch my course and now I am a university professor. I really loved acting and performing (musical theatre etc), but I am not naturally thin and to be honest it got tired after a while being told to lose weight all the time, it really scarred my self-confidence. I''m glad of the choice I made, but I sure do miss that world some times! I get my kicks lecturing to classes of 250 students now.

 

[kama_s]

I'm 25, going on 26 shortly. No ticking whatsoever. I love the idea of being pregnant, having a wee lil one to cuddle, shpping for teeny tiny clothes and booties!! But I'm just not ready to be a (good) mother 24/7. I need to be mentally prepared to be able to sacrifice everything for my kids, wake up at unearthly hours to feed them, make lunches, dress them for school blah blah blah. I'm just not there yet. If there's a chocolate bar with 6 pieces, I need to be able to give 5 pieces to my baby and keep 1 for me. Right now I'll give 2 to Mr. Kama and keep 4 for myself....I'm not even able to share 50-50!!!!! Good mothers dont do that

I figure I'll be ready in another few years. We're probably aiming for early 30's. For now, I'll just stick to playing with friend's kids and the lil ones at work (children's hospital)

 

[kama_s]

Date: 4/22/2009 10:15:02 PM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom
Babies are okay, too

, but once they start talking- I have NO interest

Likewise!! I love love love babies with their lil fingers and toesies

. Kids between the ages of 4-10 can be a tad bit annoying! Mr. Kama LOVES that age, he loves talking to them and making conversation (because having a convo with adults is just not enough fun

)...so I figure we're good. I look after them until age 4, then he takes over!!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 4/23/2009 1:52:05 PM
Author: musey

I was always the same way, especially with traveling. I thought a baby would mean no more traveling, until they were old enough to be self-sufficient anyway, but my in-laws have completely put that fear to rest for me. They took my husband to Europe when he was six weeks old, and they never stopped traveling since. He was quite the jet-setter, and had been almost everywhere in the world by the age of 15.

So now that that''s a non-issue, the only thing standing in our way is income. We don''t make enough to do what we want to do AND buy a house AND have a kid. The problem is, though, that in a lower cost-of-living area, our income would be PLENTY to have a fantastic house and do a lot of traveling AND have a kid. So then the problem is no longer money, but money in our location - so if we got pregnant, we could move and slip right into the lifestyle we wanted to have with a baby... but then it would mean giving up my career (as I have to be where we currently are). So THEN it becomes an issue of career vs. kid, which is not a decision I''m ready to make.

Can you tell I''m feeling a bit conflicted?

Musey, I think when the time is right you''ll figure it all out (I know, I know... sounds damn cliché!). I personally dont think you should give up your career until you are ready to. I mean, for all you know, you''ll hit it big next year and then you can stay AND buy a house AND have a kid!

Anyways, your confliction reflects your maturity and responsible attitude....so I''m sure whatever decision you make, it will be a well thought one.

 

[DMBsGirl]

My clock started ticking at my honeymoon, I''m 29.

 

[mia1181]

Date: 4/25/2009 3:40:37 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 4/24/2009 12:14:59 PM
Author: musey

Date: 4/23/2009 10:16:34 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Musey, I don''t know how long you have been married but I seem to think it is not too too long? I think getting married can be a real clock winding event for many women who always knew they would have kids.

Yep you''re right, about 6 months

I''m willing to bet good money you won''t make it 4 more years!

I didn''t!

And by the way... from the time I started asking questions like, ''How old were you when your biological clock kicked in?'' until we were preggo was about 6 months.

No!!!!!! I''m holding firm. My life would be completely different if I had them soon vs. 4+ years from now, and while I would accept and be happy about the sacrifices, it would be a disappointment on some level - I feel like I''ve worked too hard for too long to let it all go just yet.

Wow, I guess I just cleared it up in my head

Thanks, dreamer!!

LOL! Well, you are in the entertainment industry right? That is one place where you can''t really gain 40 lbs and wander off for maternity leave very easily, that''s for sure! Plus you are young... oh so young

... I think that late 20s is the ideal time for having one''s first child. Lots of time to live for yourself and feel ready for the transition to motherhood (which is wonderful, BTW).

As an aside and threadjack, when I was a teeneage I was an actor and I actually have a rather prominent role in an honest-to-goodness kids movie

! Also did some local kids television. After I graduated I was planning to go to acting school but decided last minute to switch my course and now I am a university professor. I really loved acting and performing (musical theatre etc), but I am not naturally thin and to be honest it got tired after a while being told to lose weight all the time, it really scarred my self-confidence. I''m glad of the choice I made, but I sure do miss that world some times! I get my kicks lecturing to classes of 250 students now.

Very cool DD! I wonder if I have seen it.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/25/2009 7:49:27 PM
Author: mia1181

Date: 4/25/2009 3:40:37 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

As an aside and threadjack, when I was a teeneage I was an actor and I actually have a rather prominent role in an honest-to-goodness kids movie

! Also did some local kids television. After I graduated I was planning to go to acting school but decided last minute to switch my course and now I am a university professor. I really loved acting and performing (musical theatre etc), but I am not naturally thin and to be honest it got tired after a while being told to lose weight all the time, it really scarred my self-confidence. I''m glad of the choice I made, but I sure do miss that world some times! I get my kicks lecturing to classes of 250 students now.

Very cool DD! I wonder if I have seen it.

LOL! I doubt you saw it, but it was a sequel to a very well known children''s movie and so you probably heard of it. Here''s a hint... there were Jim Henson animatronic creatures in it!

 

[Rhea]

Not yet, I'm 28 with plans to not have children. I do like children and coo at them when I see them, but 24/7? Nah!

We celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary about a months ago.

 

[Dannielle]

Mine has kicked in hardcore lately. I am VERY young though and I think we will probably wait 10 or so years until I am in my 30''s.

The kicker is though, we could afford to have a baby. FI has finished all his schooling, and has a very well paying job, but as someone mentioned in a previous post I think I will make a better parent with a few more years under my belt

(Not to mention I have a few career aspirations myself- I am not even halfway through my Psychology degree)

 

[mia1181]

Date: 4/25/2009 8:53:03 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 4/25/2009 7:49:27 PM
Author: mia1181

Date: 4/25/2009 3:40:37 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

As an aside and threadjack, when I was a teeneage I was an actor and I actually have a rather prominent role in an honest-to-goodness kids movie

! Also did some local kids television. After I graduated I was planning to go to acting school but decided last minute to switch my course and now I am a university professor. I really loved acting and performing (musical theatre etc), but I am not naturally thin and to be honest it got tired after a while being told to lose weight all the time, it really scarred my self-confidence. I''m glad of the choice I made, but I sure do miss that world some times! I get my kicks lecturing to classes of 250 students now.

Very cool DD! I wonder if I have seen it.

LOL! I doubt you saw it, but it was a sequel to a very well known children''s movie and so you probably heard of it. Here''s a hint... there were Jim Henson animatronic creatures in it!

This is KILLING me! DH and I love to watch cult classic kids movies like Labrynth and Dark Crystal. I want to guess but only if it''s not going to annoy you or get too personal. Does it begin with an "N?" You don''t have to answer.

 

[Haven]

Date: 4/26/2009 7:01:04 AM
Author: Dannielle
Mine has kicked in hardcore lately. I am VERY young though and I think we will probably wait 10 or so years until I am in my 30''s.

The kicker is though, we could afford to have a baby. FI has finished all his schooling, and has a very well paying job, but as someone mentioned in a previous post I think I will make a better parent with a few more years under my belt

(Not to mention I have a few career aspirations myself- I am not even halfway through my Psychology degree)

I think this is my biggest fear, actually--that we haven''t yet saved enough money to have a baby. DH makes a very good living, I do okay as a high school teacher with multiple master''s degrees, but we need a few more years to really pile up a huge amount of money. We own our home and have a rental property, but seriously--kids are SO EXPENSIVE. It scares me.

People tell me that you''ll never feel like you are ready financially, though. I''m think that we''ll feel very secure in about three years, so we can start then.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 4/26/2009 3:22:07 PM
Author: Haven


I think this is my biggest fear, actually--that we haven''t yet saved enough money to have a baby. DH makes a very good living, I do okay as a high school teacher with multiple master''s degrees, but we need a few more years to really pile up a huge amount of money. We own our home and have a rental property, but seriously--kids are SO EXPENSIVE. It scares me.

People tell me that you''ll never feel like you are ready financially, though. I''m think that we''ll feel very secure in about three years, so we can start then.

So true. That''s another issue for us as well. I read somewhere that a child can end up costing well over a million $. We have a nice and comfortable lifestyle, and I wouldnt want to lose it once we have a child. Hence, we''ll have to wait until we are financially more comfortable, even though we make a decent 6 figure income at the moment.

 

[trillionaire]

I will be 27 in August, and my clock is running backwards! I am getting more and more averse to *having* kids as I get older! I love babies, and how they smell and playing with them, playing with kids, all of these things. Then I want to give them back and retire to a peaceful home with my SO and my dog.

*bliss*

 

[atroop711]

I was 31 yr old when out of the blue I started having this massive craving for a baby. It was like I was jonesing for some ice cream..the craving came on strong and didn''t leave. It was like a switch was turned on because children weren''t on my mind at all. I knew I wanted them but in the future. We had been married 3 yrs at this time. Luckily when we tried the following summer, we got pregnant on the first try.

 

[icekid]

trill- bumping all of the threads about having babies?? You''re pretty preoccupied with them considering you do not want them and all. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/25/2009 8:08:40 AM
Author: icekid
trill- bumping all of the threads about having babies?? You''re pretty preoccupied with them considering you do not want them and all. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

LOL... i was thinking the same thing.

 

[vespergirl]

I was about 28, and I got pregnant at 29. I had always thought that I would "probably" have kids, but had never desired a baby - I always preferred older kids. Once I hit 28, though, I started noticing babies and thinking they were cute - before that I had no interest in touching them or playing with them. Then all of a sudden I really liked them.

Now I have a 2.5 year old son, but I''m still not that into other people''s kids. I love my boy to pieces, but I''m not ever one to offer to watch my friends'' kids, nor would I ever want to teach school. I think some women are maternal for all children, but I''m really just maternal for my own.

 

[KimberlyH]

At 31 I do not feel a biological urge to have a child, but I do want to be a parent. I love kids of all ages and look forward to raising a child, but whether I give birth or not isn''t something I care about.

 

[Mannequin]

I feel ready, but I know I''ll be really anxious about pregnancy when the time finally comes to TTC. I stalk the threads in the Family forum all the time. FF is 30 and I am 27 and we anticipate getting married next summer. I''d like to wait a few months after getting married to actively start trying, but I wouldn''t mind getting pregnant earlier. Ideally, I''d like to be pregnant during a school year and then give birth just before summer starts - I don''t think I would be able to stand a hot summer carrying a child, I am miserable enough in the heat already.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

About a year ago....even now more so since my job is going to slow down a bit soon. I think I might drive my BF mad....

ETA: I am 30. And I do have to say it waxes and wanes. Last month I was in the NICU and saw a lot of bad things happen to both mothers and babies...that is pretty effective birth control. Than I see my friends with healthy babies, and remind myself nothing with great reward is not without risk and the biological clock kicks in again.

 

[D&T]

ummm when I found out I was pregnant at 24.

 

[Kaleigh]

I had baby fever after I got married. I was 24, but we decied to wait a year before TTC. I had my first at 26.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/25/2009 8:12:01 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/25/2009 8:08:40 AM
Author: icekid
trill- bumping all of the threads about having babies?? You''re pretty preoccupied with them considering you do not want them and all. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

LOL... i was thinking the same thing.

Ditto. I''m thinking, what is WITH you Trill? You seem to want to state at EVERY turn you don''t want kids and are really vociferous about it. Makes me think...hmm...you are sure thinking about this subject a LOT.

If you don''t want em, you don''t em. It''s normal and doesn''t have to be defended to the nth degree.

 

[innerkitten]

When I was in my early 20s I thought I would never have a baby. Around 27 I started to think I might want one and around 30 I was sure. But I didn''t get around to having one till I was 35 ( didn''t get married till I was 33 ). Since we had her later than a lot of people Tabetha will probably be an only child just cause I can''t imagine running around after a small child in my 40s. I already have less energy than I did 3 years ago.
If we had started earlier we might have had two.
I''m very happy with the one I have though!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/25/2009 5:02:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 6/25/2009 8:12:01 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 6/25/2009 8:08:40 AM
Author: icekid
trill- bumping all of the threads about having babies?? You''re pretty preoccupied with them considering you do not want them and all. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something?

LOL... i was thinking the same thing.

Ditto. I''m thinking, what is WITH you Trill? You seem to want to state at EVERY turn you don''t want kids and are really vociferous about it. Makes me think...hmm...you are sure thinking about this subject a LOT.

If you don''t want em, you don''t em. It''s normal and doesn''t have to be defended to the nth degree.

First niece just got here, so there''s lots of baby talk in my life right now!

Which I am very happy about!

I think that the biology of wanting or not wanting kids is fascinating, so I like to read about it, like I would any other subject. I am also

of the whole biological clock thing, but that is what it is. If I change my mind, I will happily adopt. I never get to be around babies or kids anymore (niece is across the country

), so hearing about them is interesting. I love kids. *shrugs* Plus they are more interesting to talk about than weddings or diamonds or dresses, IMO. And kid/baby threads are also some of the more active threads during the summer lull, since parents never tire of talking about their kids

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 4/22/2009 10:15:02 PM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom
Good question, Musey! This topic always interests me.

Anyone have it kick in at a young-ish age? Diva, you said 24... To me, that qualifies.

I don''t know that it''s my biological clock (I''m a baby! 23!), but man-oh-man I''ve got some crazy interest in pregnancy.

To be clear: I do not want a baby now, or possibly for the next 5-12 years, I definitely couldn''t support one the way that I hope to down the road, and I''m still in my honeymoon-wedding planning-self-centered phase, which I hope to drag out for a whiiiiiiiiile...

BUT: I''m totally fascinated by pregnancy and being pregnant, would love to share that experience with J and my extended family, and really love baby clothes. (Good reason to get KTFU, right?) Babies are okay, too

, but once they start talking- I have NO interest

So maybe I''m a few years behind you, Musey? It crosses my mind, I contemplate it, but I''m nowhere near being serious about starting a family. A few years ago, the wheels were NOT turning AT ALL. Even remotely. In fact, I despised babes. I think after a friend or two gets hitched, and someone in your peer circle pops a bun outta the oven, the mommy-thoughts begin (for those who think they may want to be parents, anyway)

Ah well. Perhaps when I''m a REAL adult I''ll hear the clock

I''m only interested inthe post-talking stage! My friend asked me to babysit for his 18 month old and I said I would as soon as he could walk, talk, and use the bathroom on his own

My aunt says this comment is totally something my mom would''ve said (she wasn''t too into the kid thing either until she was married for 10 years and hit 30) so I guess it runs in the family.

I''m 25 now and I have zero desire to have kids, but like you, musey, I think I''ll get there "some day." For a while I''ve been saying that it''ll happen in "10 years" ... but another year passes and I''m still saying the same thing. Hah. For now I just release my maternal instinct on my bunny and other people''s dogs (until the day I can get my own puppy). Hopefully I want a kid some time between 30 and 35. I think I would really regret not having a kid, but I can''t imagine myself really really wanting one. This is why TGal is my hero