How old were you when you first started dating?

[mmi]

Simple question. Did it affect how your relationship progressed?

(SO and I started dating in our mid to late teens)

Mmi

 

[lvcushion]

SO and I started dating in college. I'm sure if we met after college once we were established, our timeline would be shorter. I think your relationship can "progress" to be serious enough for making future plans without the means to get there, and it can get frustrating.

If you've been with someone for many years and are waiting for an engagement, but you started dating before you were financially independent, it can definitely cause you to wait longer than two people who meet later in life.

How long have you been together?

 

[midwestlegal]

I definitely agree, lvcushion. We also started dating in college--we were both 22 (now 25 and 26), and I think our timeline would have been much shorter had we been older! But he needed to go through medical school and I through law school. We're long distance, so we'd like to get back to the same city before getting married.

 

[OrchidVee]

I was 24 and he was 26 when we first met and became friends. I was 25 and he 27 when we first started dating officially. I definitely think because we met after we finished college and had established careers (then I decided to change mine up lol) our timeline is shorter than it would have been had we met before finishing college.

 

[MissStepcut]

25 and 26. We will get married two years after we started dating. I think meeting in our mid-20s was as early as we could have met to get married so soon.

 

[mademoisellepeary]

Early 20s and we will be married late 20s (hopefully).

If we had have met any early it would have just taken longer.

 

[lvcushion]

midwestlegal, we are also 25 and 26. We started dating just as we turned 20 and 21, so it sounds like a long time when I talk to other people, but it just takes a little longer to get somewhat settled into adult life these days. Plus, he knows I have high standards and doesn't want to disappoint!

 

[jlp86]

I was 23 and he was 24. He already had a great job and a place of his own. About 3 months into dating I got a great job as well. We are now both a year older and I think things moved faster than had we both been in college or high school. A lot had to do with knowing what we were looking for in a relationship and then being able to act on that because we weren't in college and we could afford to do things.

 

[Glitz]

He was 19 and I was 21 when we started dating, he's 25 now and I'm 26. In the last 6 years we've both accomplished things that we wanted before we take the next step. We now have great careers, we own a house together and we finally both feel it's time for marriage. I think your age and/or your priorities are mainly what determines "readiness".

 

[atp223]

My BF and I met during my last year of law school (and his 3rd out of 4 years). I was 24 and he was 25. We started dating about a year later, after I had graduated. We've now known each other for 3 years and been dating for about 2 (so we are now 27/2. We moved in together this summer and the ring has been purchased. I also agree that because we met slightly later, and both got jobs right after law school, and have had time to adjust to them, the timeline has been faster than if we had met when we were younger and/or if the job situation had been rocky. I was worried about the latter - that he wasn't going to have a job post-graduation because of the state of the job market. The firm at which he was a summer associate no-offered his whole class (you law student LIWs know what I'm talking about!), and I was concerned our timeline would be significantly pushed back - I think him having a stable job he was happy with was necessary for our relationship to progress to the next level. But luckily he found an even better job and everything worked out. Now I am just patiently (ish) waiting for the ring...

But yes, I think financial independence and job stability (which is semi-related to age), and particularly meeting at a time during or near the start of job stability, helps the timeline move along faster...

 

[tammy77]

DH and I were older. He had just turned 28, I was 30. We got engaged when I was 33, married when I was 34. We're looking at TTC this spring, just after my 35th birthday. If we had met when we were younger, it DEFINITELY would have slowed down our progress. Not because we moved too fast (we didn't), but because when you're younger (no offense!) it's often likely that you're less settled - both in tangible things like finances and in less tangible things like emotional stability, truly knowing yourself and most importantly knowing what you really want/need in a lifelong relationship.

 

[Amys Bling]

Dating at 14.... Engaged at 26.... Married at 27. If we started dating during or after college the timeline would have been much shorter than 12 years

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I was 15 and DH was 16 when we started dating. We had met and were friendly for a year before that. Our relationship has grown and changed a lot over the last 10+ years! We were always steadily together. had never broken up or taken "time apart". About a year into college we got engaged but decided not got get married until we finished school. We married on our 7 year anniversary and have now been married more than 3 years. We love being married but are definitely waiting on children, lol.

 

[sonnyjane]

When we met, I was 23 and had already been out of college for two years working. He was 21 and had already been in the military for four years, so while our ages were young, we were both quite mature for our age. We got married two years later - I was 25 and he was 23. He started talking marriage about a year in - it was me that wasn't sure if I had sown all of my wild oats by that time or not. Luckily I decided that I had

 

[gem_anemone]

Although FI and I have an age gap, when we met we were both at the point in our lives where we wanted to have a mature relationship, buy a house, etc... no more sowing wild oats for us! We were 28 and 22 then. We just got engaged and are 31 and 25 now. Eek! I can't believe I dated a 22 year old LOL Good thing I did though because it was the best thing to ever happen to me

 

[Chewbacca]

Thought this might be a fun get-to-know-you thread to drag up.

I was 18, and SO was 21 when we met. We are now 24 and 27.

I guess we didn't actually talk about it much, but we both wanted to finish undergrad, establish ourselves in the workforce, and to be honest just plain old bump up the age a bit, before engagement/marriage. I still worry that I will be a 'child bride' - whats the age cut off? If we had met later I guess that yes, judging by my reasoning, the dating part would have been shorter!

 

[madelise]

me: 21
him: 23


we're 24 and 26 now.

 

[MBKRH]

We were both 28 when we started dating. I'm 30 now, and he turns 30 in about two weeks.

I think we met each other at the perfect time in our lives. We have both some LTRs, and learned what we like/don't like in a partner. We have gone through the rough transitional years, learning about ourselves, etc....
Had we met each other 5 or so years ago, I don't think we'd be together today.

 

[star sparkle]

We were 25 (me) and 31 (him) when we started dating. We're engaged now and will be married after 2.5 years together, at 27 and 33. If we had started dating earlier, I think we definitely would have had a longer timeline. For us, the timing has been perfect.

 

[sonnyjane]

Oops lol! I was about to respond to this thread until I realized I already did last year haha!!

 

[PhillyMcGee]

We were both 15, now we are both 26. I agree when you are young your timeline is much much longer. When I tell people how long we have been together they are shocked we aren't married yet, but obviously we were not going to get married at like 18!! We now own out house together and all that, we had of course talked about the future, getting married and kids etc but it was always a sort of 'one day' thing. Only really this year has it become a real thing that we are ready for and want to do.

 

[LJL]

We started dating when he was 21 and I was 20. We are 25 and 23 now (my bday is next week) so we should be engaged at 25 and 23/24. Hopefully married at 27 and 26 or around there. We have been together for 3 years/8months. I know that our age definitely affects the way SO looks at engagement/marriage and that he is always mindful of how "young" we are.... while I am always reminding him how old we are. Gotta get the ball rolling if Im gonna have kids by 30.

 

[yssie]

We were both 21. Engaged at 22 and married at 23/24, now 26

 

[pandabee]

I was 21 he was 23...now we're 24/25!

 

[MayFlowers]

We were both 18, now we're both 23! It definitely had an effect on our timeline. We both wanted to finish school and find jobs and a house before getting married. Those things have all finally been accomplished and so now, I'm just waiting. Hopefully he won't make me wait much longer!

 

[CharmedOne]

He was 19 (Lied and said he was 21) and I was 24. We met February 17th and married November 18th of that same year. We will be married 18 years in November with a 17 yr old and. 4 yr old

 

[gatorblue]

I was 24 and he was 25. Now 28 and 29. Hoping to start planning the wedding for fall of 2013 sometime soon, so we'll be 29 and 30 when we get married.

 

[antiquesparkler]

I was 21 and he was 27 when we met. We began dating when I was 24 and he was 29. We are now 26 (today! blah ) and 31. We are about 5 and a half years apart.

I think by the time we started dating, we were very established and were ready for a long committed relationship. We are moving much faster than we would if we were younger or had we started dating right away.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Although FI and I have an age gap, when we met we were both at the point in our lives where we wanted to have a mature relationship, buy a house, etc... no more sowing wild oats for us! We were 28 and 22 then. We just got engaged and are 31 and 25 now. Eek! I can't believe I dated a 22 year old LOL Good thing I did though because it was the best thing to ever happen to me

Don't I know the feeling. I was 27, with an established career in a very competitive field. He was 21 and still in college (law). Talk about shock when I realized the age difference and that school was undergrad (bachelor of law) and not grad, as I had assumed. I admit it was hard for me handle a first (it didn't phase him at all). I decided not to take him to any office events that involved significant others - I refused to both feed the gossip mill (oooh, some people would have had a blast with my cradle robbing and I know some partners wouldn't have looked at it with good eyes at all) or to ask him to avoid saying anything or pretending to be something else.

 

[katiefofatey]

I was 17, he was 18. Both at university. It has made us take things a lot slower. And made us comfortable with how things are. Except now we are.in.our mid 20s and all my friends have since met guys, gotten married, and had kids. MY TURN!!!