How old were you when you first started dating?

[gem_anemone]

Although FI and I have an age gap, when we met we were both at the point in our lives where we wanted to have a mature relationship, buy a house, etc... no more sowing wild oats for us! We were 28 and 22 then. We just got engaged and are 31 and 25 now. Eek! I can't believe I dated a 22 year old LOL Good thing I did though because it was the best thing to ever happen to me

Don't I know the feeling. I was 27, with an established career in a very competitive field. He was 21 and still in college (law). Talk about shock when I realized the age difference and that school was undergrad (bachelor of law) and not grad, as I had assumed. I admit it was hard for me handle a first (it didn't phase him at all). I decided not to take him to any office events that involved significant others - I refused to both feed the gossip mill (oooh, some people would have had a blast with my cradle robbing and I know some partners wouldn't have looked at it with good eyes at all) or to ask him to avoid saying anything or pretending to be something else.

I kept my husband's age a secret at work when we first started dating as I am also a professional in a conservative environment. We're married now and I recently accidentally spilled the beans to my boss that he was a few years younger. I guess now that we're married, I don't get the same feeling I will be judged for his age the way that I did before when we were just dating. At this point there's no reason left for me to hide it. Haha!

 

[princesss]

We were both 25 when we started dating. We're 26 now, and he'll be 27 the next time I see him (in February). I think we're definitely moving faster than we would have if we'd met in college (well, also, both of us were in serious relationships then, so...). A lot of that is because of age, but also because of the distance - we've had to figure out fairly quickly if this was serious, and there wasn't a sense of being able to just enjoy hanging out and learning about each other for a while.

 

[star sparkle]

Although FI and I have an age gap, when we met we were both at the point in our lives where we wanted to have a mature relationship, buy a house, etc... no more sowing wild oats for us! We were 28 and 22 then. We just got engaged and are 31 and 25 now. Eek! I can't believe I dated a 22 year old LOL Good thing I did though because it was the best thing to ever happen to me

Don't I know the feeling. I was 27, with an established career in a very competitive field. He was 21 and still in college (law). Talk about shock when I realized the age difference and that school was undergrad (bachelor of law) and not grad, as I had assumed. I admit it was hard for me handle a first (it didn't phase him at all). I decided not to take him to any office events that involved significant others - I refused to both feed the gossip mill (oooh, some people would have had a blast with my cradle robbing and I know some partners wouldn't have looked at it with good eyes at all) or to ask him to avoid saying anything or pretending to be something else.

I kept my husband's age a secret at work when we first started dating as I am also a professional in a conservative environment. We're married now and I recently accidentally spilled the beans to my boss that he was a few years younger. I guess now that we're married, I don't get the same feeling I will be judged for his age the way that I did before when we were just dating. At this point there's no reason left for me to hide it. Haha!

I don't mean to threadjack, but I always find the age gap dynamic so interesting! Both of you are 6 years older than your SO's, and for some reason there is a stigma of sorts (or at least you get the feeling that there *would* be if people were to know) when the female is older than the male. In my case, my FI is 6 years older than me but because in our case it's HIM who is older, nobody ever so much as blinks an eye at our age gap (though I really don't consider 6 years to be all that much of a gap).

So weird!

 

[Indylady]

I'm really loving this thread! Esp. couples with an age gap--I think it was definitely smart, and mature, to without a little info from people that wouldn't bat an eye before offering their criticism.

 

[CharmedOne]

I agree with the age gap comment. My DH and I really compliment each other. I don't advocate lying at all but I must admit if he had told me his real age in the beginning, I would not have went out with him at all. I was a bit apprehensive about sharing his age with friends and family. My mom didn't approve of him. Surprisingly, his parents didn't care about the age difference. It has been amazing. He has taught me so much and I am so thankful and happy to have him in my life. I always say that it was the best lie he ever told, but boy did I let him have it when I found out he lied, LOL. But if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I don't mean to threadjack, but I always find the age gap dynamic so interesting! Both of you are 6 years older than your SO's, and for some reason there is a stigma of sorts (or at least you get the feeling that there *would* be if people were to know) when the female is older than the male. In my case, my FI is 6 years older than me but because in our case it's HIM who is older, nobody ever so much as blinks an eye at our age gap (though I really don't consider 6 years to be all that much of a gap).

So weird!

It is very strange but there is a definite stigma. I can't quite put my finger on the reason and I think it is one of those collective subconsciousness things - men used to be older because they had to be providers and needed financial stability while women would have been married early - that just sticks around. I doubt it is anything rational or even conscious but, yes, people do a double take when they realize that he is a lot younger than me. I do think that some of my former professional colleagues would have taken it as a sign of immaturity in me.

 

[gem_anemone]

I don't mean to threadjack, but I always find the age gap dynamic so interesting! Both of you are 6 years older than your SO's, and for some reason there is a stigma of sorts (or at least you get the feeling that there *would* be if people were to know) when the female is older than the male. In my case, my FI is 6 years older than me but because in our case it's HIM who is older, nobody ever so much as blinks an eye at our age gap (though I really don't consider 6 years to be all that much of a gap).

So weird!

It is very strange but there is a definite stigma. I can't quite put my finger on the reason and I think it is one of those collective subconsciousness things - men used to be older because they had to be providers and needed financial stability while women would have been married early - that just sticks around. I doubt it is anything rational or even conscious but, yes, people do a double take when they realize that he is a lot younger than me. I do think that some of my former professional colleagues would have taken it as a sign of immaturity in me.

I think typically when people are faced with situations that are out of the norm they feel the impulsion to pass judgement and the judgement is based solely on their experience. Generally, what is shown in movies and on TV is that young men dating older women is a short lived sexual situation only. Think "cougar" or "sugar mama". Therefore, it is hard for people to dissociate their previous notions of that particular dating situation when they are faced with it in real life. It is hard for them to have faith that a young man could 1) be mature enough emotionally and financially for the grown up relationship that an older woman is wanting 2) that the relationship could be sustained over many years (because as you know, that lady is going to turn into a hag any day now!).

 

[audball]

We were 23 when we met, 24 when we started dating and are both about to turn 26.

 

[Glitz]

He was 19 and I was 20, we're now 26 and 28. I can't believe how much has happened over the last 7.5 years and how much people grow and change.

 

[madelise]

because as you know, that lady is going to turn into a hag any day now!

Good thing SO and his family don't need to worry about this one-- I'm already the hag
I don't think I can ever look uglier than I do with 5 inch hair dye roots, massive breakout attack on my face from stress, a bunch of white hairs, hair undone and unbrushed.. just barely swept up in a "bun" if you can even call it that..

and they already think I look older than he does. They thought I was 28 when I first met them…. back when SO was just 23. I wonder how old I look to them NOW!


I do know 50 year old women who look about my age, or younger. No botox needed, just skin care regimen and a box of hair dye.

 

[madelise]

He was 19 and I was 20, we're now 26 and 28. I can't believe how much has happened over the last 7.5 years and how much people grow and change.

I do this retrospective shock thing. Every year, I change, too. I'm kind of glad we didn't rush into anything, like we wanted to. We may not have made it.

 

[gem_anemone]

because as you know, that lady is going to turn into a hag any day now!

Good thing SO and his family don't need to worry about this one-- I'm already the hag
I don't think I can ever look uglier than I do with 5 inch hair dye roots, massive breakout attack on my face from stress, a bunch of white hairs, hair undone and unbrushed.. just barely swept up in a "bun" if you can even call it that..

and they already think I look older than he does. They thought I was 28 when I first met them…. back when SO was just 23. I wonder how old I look to them NOW!


I do know 50 year old women who look about my age, or younger. No botox needed, just skin care regimen and a box of hair dye.

Haha I was being sarcastic and self deprecating! I'm sure you aren't a hag

Secretly I am holding out hope that I age well since I already have some years on DH and in general men seem to have the tendency to age easier than women.

 

[madelise]

because as you know, that lady is going to turn into a hag any day now!

Good thing SO and his family don't need to worry about this one-- I'm already the hag
I don't think I can ever look uglier than I do with 5 inch hair dye roots, massive breakout attack on my face from stress, a bunch of white hairs, hair undone and unbrushed.. just barely swept up in a "bun" if you can even call it that..

and they already think I look older than he does. They thought I was 28 when I first met them…. back when SO was just 23. I wonder how old I look to them NOW!


I do know 50 year old women who look about my age, or younger. No botox needed, just skin care regimen and a box of hair dye.

Haha I was being sarcastic and self deprecating! I'm sure you aren't a hag

Secretly I am holding out hope that I age well since I already have some years on DH and in general men seem to have the tendency to age easier than women.

Lol, ditto, I'm just b!tching about the effects of school! Not in one bit any short of the truth, though! And yes, what the heck is it with men having an easier time aging? HELLO, I want to be a cutie patootie 80 year old, too!

 

[lovemyfireman]

I was 18 and 6 months out of high school and He was 21 and 3 months out of paramedic school. Now it's almost 10 years later and I'm 28 and he's 31... Wow, so much has happened in 10 years, but it's been great to grow together! Now it's time for marriage and babies (since we already have the jobs and house

 

[Dandi]

On the age gap thing, DH and I met when I was 17 and he was 24. Like us, everyone was totally unfazed by the whole age thing! I suppose we clicked pretty much straight away so it was a non issue, and like most people say, the older you get the less noticible it is anyway.

 

[pandabee]

I was 18 and 6 months out of high school and He was 21 and 3 months out of paramedic school. Now it's almost 10 years later and I'm 28 and he's 31... Wow, so much has happened in 10 years, but it's been great to grow together! Now it's time for marriage and babies (since we already have the jobs and house

That sounds great!! You should make a thread to formally introduce yourself and tell us more...like how you met, are you looking for a ring, etc.

 

[advokait]

Both 20 when we met, 21 now and both us soon to be 22.

 

[advokait]

Both 20 when we met, 21 now and both us soon to be 22.

 

[CharmedOne]

He was 19 and I was 23. He lied and said he was 21. I would never have dated him had I known how old he really was. But in the end, I am glad he did. He is just the most wonderful guy. 18 years later, we are still happy

 

[SB621]

We met at 18, started to date at 20/19 and were engaged at 22 married at 23. We got engaged when he pretty much finished college, I had already been out for 1.5 years but stayed in the area for him. He was military so we had to get married sort of quickly so we could move with his career. We actaully had a very long engagment, for most military couples, at 8 months.

I dated my DH longer then most of my friends who married their boyfriends but then again I met him when we were really young just entering college. Had we met afterwards things would have progressed even faster due to his employment status.

I will say that I actually really liked dating through college for our relationship. He saw me at my worst when I had no interest in dating, just having fun with all my friends getting drunk/ acting stupid. He saw all the sides of me so he knew exactly what he was getting himself into. We didn't have a perfect relationship we fought a lot in the beginning before we got married- which made marriage strangly enough super easy as we didn't have stupid spats- we knew each other that well. Now we have been married for almost 6 years and together almost a decade. I will take him over Richard Gear in a white limo with a rose climbing up my fire escape anyday. he is truely my prince charming!

 

[pandabee]

We met at 18, started to date at 20/19 and were engaged at 22 married at 23. We got engaged when he pretty much finished college, I had already been out for 1.5 years but stayed in the area for him. He was military so we had to get married sort of quickly so we could move with his career. We actaully had a very long engagment, for most military couples, at 8 months.

I dated my DH longer then most of my friends who married their boyfriends but then again I met him when we were really young just entering college. Had we met afterwards things would have progressed even faster due to his employment status.

I will say that I actually really liked dating through college for our relationship. He saw me at my worst when I had no interest in dating, just having fun with all my friends getting drunk/ acting stupid. He saw all the sides of me so he knew exactly what he was getting himself into. We didn't have a perfect relationship we fought a lot in the beginning before we got married- which made marriage strangly enough super easy as we didn't have stupid spats- we knew each other that well. Now we have been married for almost 6 years and together almost a decade. I will take him over Richard Gear in a white limo with a rose climbing up my fire escape anyday. he is truely my prince charming!

This reminds me of my SO and myself...going through an unstable time and still coming through it together is a great sign (I think) that you can get through anything. Glad it worked for you and your DH!!