How often do you talk about engagement?

[mochamamasita]

So... I've noticed that I've been talking about engagement a little too often with my boyfriend. I'm ashamed to say it, but almost evey day I'm either talking about my engagement ring, him proposing, how much money he has saved up, or someone else who got married/engaged. I'm pretty sure that I'm driving him crazy, but hey, at least I've realized it. . From now on, I'm going to talk about it less, but I'm not sure how much less I'll be able to manage. (The reason why I bring it up so often is because I honestly think about marrying him every day, and I talk about it whenever I think about it). Anyways, my question for you guys is.. how often do you talk about engagement rings, proposals, marriage, etc. with your significant other?

 

[PrincessNatalie]

After getting a timeline I was happy with (or at least ok with) I dropped it and have not talked about it very much if at all since. That said he knows I am a member of a board called LIW, he saw me on it once and started giggling, and I told him its because I dont feel comfortable talking about it with friends (they always try and give advice and I dont want advice) and dont want to bug him about it. He is fine with that

But about 4 months after I first moved in with him LIWitis hit me really hard, I dont know how often I mentioned it but it must have been pretty often, I was thinking about it all the time thats for sure

There were a couple of things which made it worse:

1. My best friend was getting married (now is)
2. Through the grape vine hearing his mum had said to a close friend that she was glad I didnt seem to care too much about getting married because SO would not be interested in doing so any time soon. Even though at the time it was mostly true, it made me worried and I didnt understand and thought he had said something to his mother (he hadn't) and then LIWitis really slipped into full swing.

But now I am much more level headed about the whole thing.

 

[Jessie702]

I actually dont talk to C about engagement a lot anymore. Before it was weekend, after weekend, but after getting a timeline, and him telling me to back off, i backed off. I think sometimes its worse for the guy if we talk about getting engaged and rings all the time. Sometimes its better to live it in his hands, but thats just me.

 

[LivingMyFairytale]

FF and I talk about it everyday! He usually brings it up...which I don't mind at all

 

[Indylady]

Maybe 4-5 times a month. SO just got a new job (that he loves!) so he was talking about how he can start putting away a little more. Sometimes I send him links to rings or diamonds or colored stones that I've come across that I a) like and b) are decently priced, but we haven't found a "wow!" sort of stone yet.

 

[kateydid05]

I don't really bring it up that often. A few days ago we discussed the pros and cons of a destination wedding. More or less where we would go plus who we would have to pay for in order for them to be able to come. We don't talk about engagement; we bypass that a lot. We seem to speak in terms of "when we get a house" because that is more significant to us. I know right now he's working on switching jobs (EMT now onto to a fulltime Paramedic job) and then paying down his debt before he makes a giant purchase like an engagement ring. He's doing pretty well so far so I know it's only a matter of time and he doesn't do the whole timeline thing. I do not bring it up that much because it'll happen eventually and I'm not all that concerned about it. I think the pressure of other people bugging us about it is getting out of hand but we know what's best for us.

 

[maebelle]

Its wedding season so it comes up more. I'd say once every two weeks? I try to not bombard him, despite it being hard not to!

Mostly at the moment its little comments about eloping, not to eachother, but to other people, which pleases me more than it should. It's like we're putting little feelers out so everyone knows what to expect and see their reactions to not being at our (eventual) wedding.

 

[blacksand]

I try not to bring it up too often. It's always well received when I do bring it up, but I don't like feeling like I'm always the one to bring it up. I wish it came from him sometimes. But I guess that's just not the manly way! In any case, we probably talk about it two or three times a month. We talked about going to look at rings yesterday, so that was progress! Guess I'm not getting a Disney World proposal, but maybe around Christmastime. SO can't lie or hide a surprise to save his life, so I don't think there will be any real surprise involved...and I'm okay with that. I'm glad it will be a commitment we make together.

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

A few months back I was bringing it up about 2-3 times a week for a few months. It ended up getting on his nerves and we had a little argument. He told me it was definitely going to happen but he didn't want me to keep bringing it up and ruin a surprise. I told him I understood and ever since then I haven't really brought it up. It's still mentioned to me and sometimes him almost every day from family members including his mom. I hate hearing about it so much because it puts all the pressure on me because everyone is saying the same thing; I have to MAKE him propose ugh that's not how it works. I would never want him to ask me unless he wanted to.

So, now I'm really understanding the pressure he feels when I bring it up. I remind myself of that whenever I'm feeling LIWitis and I stop myself from mentioning it. I just wish I wasn't feeling so much pressure from everyone else!

 

[amc80]

A few days ago we discussed the pros and cons of a destination wedding. More or less where we would go plus who we would have to pay for in order for them to be able to come.

Ha, we had that exact conversation a few days ago as well.

 

[ediana]

I brought it up maybe every few months during our first year or two, but haven't said anything in about six months. We had a conversation last spring where he said that the only reason there wasn't a ring on my finger was our finances, and that he wanted to be sure his company was reliably bringing in income before he became the official bread-winner (he's a small business owner, and although we both work now, I plan to quit when we have kids).

So I know it's coming.

 

[kateydid05]

A few days ago we discussed the pros and cons of a destination wedding. More or less where we would go plus who we would have to pay for in order for them to be able to come.

Ha, we had that exact conversation a few days ago as well.

It is definitely going to be a destination wedding and we are leaning towards St. Thomas where we just went on vacation. Tropical, US territory so no passport, all-inclusive option, and the hotel we stayed at took really great care of us especially when we got it with Hurricane Earl. We had a good talk about it! How did yours go?

 

[amc80]

A few days ago we discussed the pros and cons of a destination wedding. More or less where we would go plus who we would have to pay for in order for them to be able to come.

Ha, we had that exact conversation a few days ago as well.

It is definitely going to be a destination wedding and we are leaning towards St. Thomas where we just went on vacation. Tropical, US territory so no passport, all-inclusive option, and the hotel we stayed at took really great care of us especially when we got it with Hurricane Earl. We had a good talk about it! How did yours go?

We are 99% sure we will do a destination *something*. His choice would be to just elope. Which would be my choice as well...except my brother eloped so my mom didn't get to go to his wedding. And the BF is an only child, so I think his parents would be pretty bummed. So we talked about just inviting our parents, but the idea of being on a vacation with our parents? No thanks. My number 1 choice is Roatan, but the flights are difficult (you can only fly in/out on one day per week, so everyone has to stay a week...unless you take a ferry to the mainland). Then we were thinking Sandals, but it's SO expensive, we would have to pay for his parents (and a few other family members if they were invited). I think we will end up doing a very small destination wedding (immediate family and close/lifelong friends).

 

[Glitz]

Almost every week lately. It's mutually brought up though, and we're just making sure we're on the same page with everything. Since we're in the midst of buying thousands of dollars worth of furniture and appliances for our new house (that we move into in December ), we're discussing how the ring budget will fit in, since we're not the credit/lay-away type. As of now I'm still pretty hopeful that I'll get a Christmas or New Years proposal, fingers crossed!

 

[mochamamasita]

You guys have given me motivation that I can be strong and withhold from talking about it almost every day. Thanks . hehe.

PrincessNatalie and Jessie702-
I'm sure that I wouldn't bring it up so much if I had a real timeline like you guys. Instead, by boyfriend has only said that he'll propose as soon as he has enough money saved up for the ring. My problem is that he has no idea when he'll have enough money saved up for the ring, and even if he did know, I don't think that he'd tell me because he wants the whole thing to be a total surprise and he doesn't want me to be able to figure out when it will happen.

LivingMyFairytale-
I wish that my boyfriend would bring it up more often like yours. Mine brings it up occasionally, but not nearly as much as I do.

Grlsbestfrnd-
Ya, other people can get REALLY annoying when they try to butt their heads in our relationships, but I can't believe that his family is saying that you have to MAKE him propose. It's not like we're supposed to drag a guy down the aisle. Try not to let them get to you, but it sounds like you're already doing a good job of not letting them get to you TOO much .