How often do you have company over?

[mrssalvo]

when I lived in TN my family (mom and step dad, sister and her hubby, brother and his wife and us) would get together once a month and we would rotate the host house. we would set a meal plan and each family coming would bring something. I made it a new years resolution a couple of years ago when 4 months went by that I didn''t see my brother and his wife and they only lived 25 minutes away. that is just wrong to me so we all made a pack to get together at least once a month. I love to have people over though and we usually did a friend get together at least once a month too.

 

[Mara]

we love to entertain so we typically have people over once every 2 weeks...and then we also switch off and go to other people''s houses and get togethers as well, so it''s not all just at our house (Thankfully since I hate the cleanup!)...but we also have one or two good friends who might just come over and watch a movie with us or have dinner at home etc, prob about once a week.

 

[isaku5]

Date: 5/21/2009 10:54:36 AM
Author: butterfly 17

Date: 5/21/2009 10:21:02 AM
Author: neatfreak
Might be a stupid question-but do you invite them?

No, not necessarily, really only when I have a party actually, lol.

But, I always visit my mom/sis/aunt/SIL even if we are not invited. We just call and ask if they are doing anything that day and say we wanted to come and visit and hang out for a few hours. We usually bring take out food with us, so they don''t have to worry about cooking, etc.

Like when I had my daughter in Sept., or any of my four kids for that matter. No one came to visit us or call to see how we were doing or if we needed any help. IT was a rough time for me, I had her and three days later my other daughter started school( a day after I was discharged from the hospital), so I had to do bring everyone with me back and forth to drop her off and pick her up from school since my DH went back to work.

Not that I am trying to get sympathy, but that''s just the way it was. My parents don''t work and they are young, both of them drive as well and live nearby.

The sad thing is I found out my mom was going to Atlantic City the weekend I had my daughter, so she actually had to bypass my house in order to get there, but not once did they stop by.

My mom still has yet to come to my house since the baby was born. We have just been going every other Thursday to go see them instead or we go out to eat.

They weird thing is my aunt called me and told me my mom told her she misses me and I should go visit her more often. I was like, but we just ate out on Wed. in NYC (my aunt called me on Sunday).

Anyway, does this happen to anyone else?

I have this ''issue'' with our daughter and their family. I''ve actually mentioned a couple of times that we''d like to see them more often and her reply was to just call them and say that we''d like to come. I''m not too comfortable with inviting myself over, and as a result we only see them at family functions.

Our son knows how we feel and he does ask us over for dinner, cocktails and chat or whatever. In return, every weekend during the summer they come up and we BBQ and swim.

Do you parents/grandparents invite yourselves to your kids'' homes?

Also, do you drop in without calling first?

 

[bee*]

We have family over about once a week and friends over about 2-3 evenings a week or we''ll go to theirs. We don''t usually invite them but we''ve all been doing it for so long that we''re just used to having them over here or us to theirs.

 

[julabean]

This thread makes me think of the people on House Hunters who reject a house because "it''s not good for entertaining!" People on TV apparently do way more entertaining than I do.

My parents and best friend live in my hometown still (3 hours away), so we have overnight guests over about once a month. The other day my best friend told me to leave a guidebook she wants to borrow "in my room and I''ll pick it up when I''m there next!" Other than that, sometimes DH''s dad comes over or our really good friends, but it''s not a whole lot. Like a lot of other people, I''d much rather go out to eat. The cooking is definitely going to be better than mine and there is no clean up.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 5/22/2009 5:14:46 PM
Author: isaku5

I have this ''issue'' with our daughter and their family. I''ve actually mentioned a couple of times that we''d like to see them more often and her reply was to just call them and say that we''d like to come. I''m not too comfortable with inviting myself over, and as a result we only see them at family functions.

Our son knows how we feel and he does ask us over for dinner, cocktails and chat or whatever. In return, every weekend during the summer they come up and we BBQ and swim.

Do you parents/grandparents invite yourselves to your kids'' homes?

Also, do you drop in without calling first?

No, never drop in without calling first. My mom lives about 45 minutes away without traffic and I have to pay tolls to get to their house, so I wouldn''t want to waste a trip going over there if they didn''t know in advance that we were coming. What if they weren''t there after we drove all the way over there.

I have to get everyone ready, rush homework with my daughter and my husband, who works nights, gets very little sleep that day as well. We even pick up my daughter early from school some Thursdays because by the time she gets out. if we wait regular hours, we wouldn''t get to their house until 5 pm and then we would have to leave by 8:30 pm since I have to wake up really early for work the next day (5 am ) and my daughter has school as well.

So, it is an effort to go there on Thursdays, but it is the only day off my husband and I have together and we like to spend it with my parents if we can. I can''t go over on the weekends bc I work every weekend and my husband as well.

I will usually tell my mom we are coming over a few days before. And we always make sure we bring over food so they don''t have to worry about cooking.

My mom and dad regularly visit my brother and SIL and at one point my sister in law made a complaint to me that they were visiting unannounced two or three times a week. This occurred after she had her baby last year, my mom was regularly visiting her and helping out and I know this bc they told me. My SIL''s mother also lives with them, so she did have help after the baby.

So, they do visit them.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 5/21/2009 5:34:12 PM
Author: MC

Date: 5/21/2009 4:00:53 PM
Author: butterfly 17
Thanks MC and Tacori.

It''s funny, but we were talking about whether or not to move and I said that if we move then we won''t be able to see anyone anymore and my DH said that it doesn''t matter, it''s not like they visit us now! lol

Yep, that''s the way it is.

When I was a child, up until the age of 12, my parents rented an apartment. All the relatives would ALWAYS critisize them for not buying a home. Well, my parents were saving for one and after doing so for a long time (that entire 12 years), not only bought a home, but it was a waterfront home. Well, what did everyone do? They refused to visit us. Made all kinds of excuses.

How is your house in comparison to everyone elses? Hopefully this is not the case, but possibly they are jealous?

ha, I wish it was that, but no, it''s definitely not. My mom''s house is worth something like 3 times mine!

I have already told my mom lots of times that to come by when I am off. Both of my parents are retired and they know I am off every Mon. thru Thurs.

 

[Viola]

Butterfly,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, I know it must've been difficult having to take care of a newborn plus the other kids without any help from family members, but you made it. I'm not sure if you asked for advice, so I'm sorry if i'm overstepping my boundaries here, but since you've clearly been more or less bothered by the fact that your mom doesn't visit you or help you out, maybe you should tell her how you feel, ask her if there is something stopping her from visiting you and/or that you want her to be a more active part of your family's life.

She's after all your mom, and you only get one in life. I know it can be difficult but I think that you should be honest with her about how her actions are making you feel. Communication is key in all types of relationships.

 

[Girlrocks]

As I ready this thread, I had an e-mail pop up tfrom BRO and SIL that said "Sunday-we''ll be there"! LOL We usually get together with the same 3-4 families once a month (not all together, seperately). With 3 of the families, is is always at our house, because our house is much bigger than 2 of them, and the 3rd, they just spent megga bucks to renovate their house and never invite anyone over because they don''t want it messed up. Usually when we get together with BRO and SIL we go to their house because they have 6 kids and it''s easier to take our 4 there. DH isn''t a big fan of having people over, I think he could be a hermit if I weren''t around. But I am a very social person so he humors me.

 

[beau13]

Hardly ever..thank GOD!
We just lead a very busy lifestyle, and we`re not home a whole lot.
Right now my brother and his girlfriend have been taking over my house (day 14). They only live about an hour and a half away, but want to be close by for my father right now. They have showers before bedtime, and then again in the morning..we have 3 bathrooms, and I can`t seem to get into one when I need to. (Grrrrrrr). I wouldn`t mind them staying here if they were actually helpful, but I go the hospital every day to feed my dad lunch, then again dinner, and my brother sits here at my house, waiting for me to return at around 6:30 pm, to make dinner for him and girlfriend, and my own family. I would appreciate it if they took their dishes to the sink even, or offered to help clean up after dinner, but instead they leave quickly for a walk on the beach together, or to go shopping. I'm starting to feel like I run a bed and breakfast! lol. My husband is soooo busy with work right now, and he doesn't get home until about 7-7:30pm, so it's hard to get help from him, and I don't expect him to be cooking dinner for everyone (while I'm at the hospital) because he is exhausted as well. It would be nice if "brother" would offer $20 one night for pizza or Chinese food, but I've been picking up the tab..all the time! I'm exhausted these days, and having two houseguests who are basically chidren trapped in adult bodies, is kind of a burden. They don't have kids, and don't understand that my kids are top priority, and they seem to take over the bathrooms every morning right when the kids are trying to get ready for school. They also seem to expect me to serve them breakfast (we're talking eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, the whole shabang..again when I'm trying to get my kids fed and out the door for school). I can't imagine staying at someone's house and expecting them to wait on me hand & foot, doing my laundry, feeding me daily, while observing them try to maintain their home, their children, and take care of a dying parent. I hope that when and if they leave, I don't have company again for a very long time!!

Phew..

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/22/2009 4:46:45 PM
Author: Mara
we love to entertain so we typically have people over once every 2 weeks...and then we also switch off and go to other people''s houses and get togethers as well, so it''s not all just at our house (Thankfully since I hate the cleanup!)...but we also have one or two good friends who might just come over and watch a movie with us or have dinner at home etc, prob about once a week.

We have a lot of the "hanging out," too. Not the full-blown slaving in the kitchen for friends. I''m a terrible cook. Mostly when friends/family come over, we order pizza.

 

[Rhea]

When we first moved in together and were the only couple who lived together people came over all the time. Lately it''s been about once a month. I find with our other friends we have to practically ask to be invited over. We''re still happy to have people over and ask people around. The others do the you can come over any time, but don''t actually set a time or date for anyone to come visit.

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/23/2009 11:00:03 AM
Author: beau13
Hardly ever..thank GOD!

We just lead a very busy lifestyle, and we`re not home a whole lot.

Right now my brother and his girlfriend have been taking over my house (day 14). They only live about an hour and a half away, but want to be close by for my father right now. They have showers before bedtime, and then again in the morning..we have 3 bathrooms, and I can`t seem to get into one when I need to. (Grrrrrrr). I wouldn`t mind them staying here if they were actually helpful, but I go the hospital every day to feed my dad lunch, then again dinner, and my brother sits here at my house, waiting for me to return at around 6:30 pm, to make dinner for him and girlfriend, and my own family. I would appreciate it if they took their dishes to the sink even, or offered to help clean up after dinner, but instead they leave quickly for a walk on the beach together, or to go shopping. I''m starting to feel like I run a bed and breakfast! lol. My husband is soooo busy with work right now, and he doesn''t get home until about 7-7:30pm, so it''s hard to get help from him, and I don''t expect him to be cooking dinner for everyone (while I''m at the hospital) because he is exhausted as well. It would be nice if ''brother'' would offer $20 one night for pizza or Chinese food, but I''ve been picking up the tab..all the time! I''m exhausted these days, and having two houseguests who are basically chidren trapped in adult bodies, is kind of a burden. They don''t have kids, and don''t understand that my kids are top priority, and they seem to take over the bathrooms every morning right when the kids are trying to get ready for school. They also seem to expect me to serve them breakfast (we''re talking eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, the whole shabang..again when I''m trying to get my kids fed and out the door for school). I can''t imagine staying at someone''s house and expecting them to wait on me hand & foot, doing my laundry, feeding me daily, while observing them try to maintain their home, their children, and take care of a dying parent. I hope that when and if they leave, I don''t have company again for a very long time!!

Phew..

I wouldn''t blame you not wanting company over if they treat you like that. Can you say it to your brother?

 

[Adah]

H2bs mum comes over for a cuppa once a week, but in general we have company maybe once a month.

 

[beau13]

Date: 5/25/2009 5:01:08 AM
Author: bee*

Date: 5/23/2009 11:00:03 AM
Author: beau13
Hardly ever..thank GOD!

We just lead a very busy lifestyle, and we`re not home a whole lot.

Right now my brother and his girlfriend have been taking over my house (day 14). They only live about an hour and a half away, but want to be close by for my father right now. They have showers before bedtime, and then again in the morning..we have 3 bathrooms, and I can`t seem to get into one when I need to. (Grrrrrrr). I wouldn`t mind them staying here if they were actually helpful, but I go the hospital every day to feed my dad lunch, then again dinner, and my brother sits here at my house, waiting for me to return at around 6:30 pm, to make dinner for him and girlfriend, and my own family. I would appreciate it if they took their dishes to the sink even, or offered to help clean up after dinner, but instead they leave quickly for a walk on the beach together, or to go shopping. I'm starting to feel like I run a bed and breakfast! lol. My husband is soooo busy with work right now, and he doesn't get home until about 7-7:30pm, so it's hard to get help from him, and I don't expect him to be cooking dinner for everyone (while I'm at the hospital) because he is exhausted as well. It would be nice if 'brother' would offer $20 one night for pizza or Chinese food, but I've been picking up the tab..all the time! I'm exhausted these days, and having two houseguests who are basically chidren trapped in adult bodies, is kind of a burden. They don't have kids, and don't understand that my kids are top priority, and they seem to take over the bathrooms every morning right when the kids are trying to get ready for school. They also seem to expect me to serve them breakfast (we're talking eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, the whole shabang..again when I'm trying to get my kids fed and out the door for school). I can't imagine staying at someone's house and expecting them to wait on me hand & foot, doing my laundry, feeding me daily, while observing them try to maintain their home, their children, and take care of a dying parent. I hope that when and if they leave, I don't have company again for a very long time!!

Phew..

I wouldn't blame you not wanting company over if they treat you like that. Can you say it to your brother?

Can I tell him off is what your asking Bee? lol
I have no problem telling anyone just how I feel

. In fact, a couple days ago, I observed him washing his hands (more like running them under water without soap) at the kitchen sink (caught this 3 times before), so I said to him.."can you please wash your hands in one of the washrooms"? When he asked "why?", I said for one..you're getting water all over the hardwood floors in my kitchen, and they're not supposed to get wet. I then proceeded to bend down, and wipe up the small puddles he left from his dripping hands he was air drying I guess! Just a little pet peeve of mine. I think he thought I was a "B" for saying something..but hey..my house..my rules if you want to stay here right?

Thankfully he left yesterday, but will be back tonight!

MY friends tell me to stop cooking with cheese (commercial on TV), and the company will leave!! lol