How much time to spend with the parents?

[CJ2008]

TanDogMom''s thread got me thinking about this...

How much time do you spend with your own parents?

Do you think you see them "enough" or do you wish you could see them more? Or see them less?

 

[Haven]

We eat at least one dinner a week with my mom and with DH''s dad. My mom and I will often spend a weekend afternoon together, as well, and lately we''ve been having dinner with her more because she and my father recently divorced. I''d love to be able to see them both more.

I see my father probably once every other week, as we are not nearly as close as I am with my mom.

I wish we could see DH''s father more, but he makes it very difficult to do so. He had surgery this past week, and he''s been on home dialysis for a little over a month. He''s been distancing himself from everyone while all of this happens. DH calls him constantly, though, and whenever he''s in a good enough mood we take the opportunity to get together. Before he became sicker we were probably seeing him twice a week. After DH''s mom passed away seven years ago he spent a lot of time with his dad. His dad couldn''t cook for himself and he had basically fallen apart, so DH was the one to take care of him and help him adjust to living life on his own. DH''s dad has a companion now, so he''s better in that regard.

We live about 20 minutes away from both my mom and DH''s dad. My dad lives about an hour away from us.

 

[KimberlyH]

My parents are a 2.5 hour car ride away. I see them once every month or two, usually a bit more around the holidays. I talk to my mom most days either on the phone or via email. Sometimes I wish I could see them more, and sometimes I think it''s good we live a bit of a distance apart.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Not enough. My parents live far away. We visit them twice a year usually a week at a time. My parents visit at Thanksgiving. My mom usually visits 2 extra long weekends a year since she has more vacation time. So I see my dad around 3 times a year and my mom around 5 times a year.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 9/6/2009 7:20:04 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Not enough. My parents live far away. We visit them twice a year usually a week at a time. My parents visit at Thanksgiving. My mom usually visits 2 extra long weekends a year since she has more vacation time. So I see my dad around 3 times a year and my mom around 5 times a year.

Ditto. My mom doesn''t live as far as compared to others but I can''t make the trip every weekend. So I see her once every three months or so. If I had it my way it would be a lot more.

 

[Pandora II]

More often - I''m going to stay with mine for a week while DH is away for work. I wouldn''t go and stay at his parents without him.

 

[neatfreak]

Not enough here either. My parents live clear across the country. We do see them every few months but I wish we could see them more.

 

[waxing lyrical]

My dad lives in CA. We''re stationed on the East Coast. Haven''t seen my dad and stepmom in about 4 years. The girls and I live in the same apartment complex as my mom and sister (only here until my husband returns home.) I see them maybe 3-4 times a week. The girls see her on the weekend. We go over to visit them on the weekend or she''ll come over to see the girls. We talk at least every other day. We''re super close.

 

[iheartscience]

I actually just got back from visiting my parents tonight and picking up our housewarming gift! (A lawnmower-yay!) I see my parents probably 2 to 4 times a month, depending on how busy the month is for us or them. They live about an hour away and we try to see them often. They're fun and I love my mom's food!

And my husband is really good friends with my dad, so sometimes he goes and visits without me when I can't come. My husband's parents live pretty far away so we see them only a few times a year.

I think I see them a good amount of time. I sometimes don't get to spend tons of time with them when we visit if my other siblings are there with their kids, but I just make sure to come at times when I know no one else will be there, too.

 

[Clio]

My parents and Steve''s live pretty far away (at least a day''s drive), so we see each set of grandparents 2-3 times a year, usually for a week at a time. My inlaws are talking about moving closer, which would be nice, but I think it would be at least 2 years.

I''d love to live closer to my parents, but I''m tied to DC by my job, and my heart would break if they ever left New Orleans.

 

[mtjoya]

I come from a very close family and see my mom every single day. My dad is not in the picture. We see DH parents once a week and that''s still not enough!!!

 

[bee*]

I see my parents nearly every day and D''s parents a couple of times a week also. My parents mind my dog during the day if I''m in college and D''s working so I see them in the morning when I drop her off and collect her later in the day. D''s parents take us out for dinner every few weeks and will call around a couple of times a week as well. We all live within 10 mins of each other.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

I wish I saw them more, as mom can get overwhelmed with my dad- he''s in his early 90''s and needs 24/7 care. I see them once, maybe twice a week- usually for Sunday supper and then an evening during the week.

We also try to get away with them for a weekend (santa barbara, san diego) or a long day trip at least every other month.

 

[taovandel]

My parents are about a 2 minute car trip from my job. So I see my mom about 3 times a week during my lunch break. I see my dad maybe 4 times a month as he is at work normally when I go on my lunch break.

My DH sees my parents about 1x a week.

I hardly ever see his parents--maybe once a month. He sees his parents about once a week. They are a 20 minute drive away.

 

[somethingshiny]

We go to both of our parents'' houses once or twice a week. We live two blocks from DH''s parents and about 20 miles from mine.

 

[Jas12]

too much--haha. I have a tendency to get annoyed with my mom, but she is around every day after work (lives just down the street) so i guess that is only natural. SHe was a huge help when my son was first born and i really needed/appreciated it more than i thought i would. Now however, i would be fine with seeing her a few times a week

i shouldn''t really complain, i like having tons of extended family around my son (he love them too) and would rather it that way.

 

[pinkstars]

Ditto on the not enough.

I get to see all of my family once a year. I live in Alaska and everybody else doesn''t.
When my mom goes to visit my grandparents, I plan my vacation around her''s so that I can see her as much as possible within the two weeks that she takes off. My dad moved to the same city as my mom''s parents, so I see him when I see everybody else.
I hate living so far away from the people I love, but this vacation I just couldn''t get enough of seeing my family.

I decided to get a plane ticket to visit my mom for Christmas one year, and I went and then my mom''s boss didn''t give her any time off while I was there. It was a huge disappointment to the both of us but I guess I''ll just try to plan out trips better.
BF might be starting grad school next year or the year after and we''ll have to move for that, so I''m hoping that it''s somewhere near his brother or some of my family. If we were within a day''s drive, I''d be more than happy if that''s all it took to see family.

 

[Bia]

not enough

They live 4 hours away. We alternate. I try to go up there 5-6 times a year, and they will come down here in between. Last year we saw eachother almost every month, but that, I think, was primarily due to my brother''s wedding, family events, holidays and the like - lots of reasons we needed to get together and I loved it! I am trying to follow the same this year, but so far, we''ve been seeing one another every 2 months or so. Not enough!

Luckily my brother lives in Philly so he''s only 1 1/2 - 2 hours from me in NY. I see him about once/twice a month.

 

[CJ2008]

I feel like I see my family enough for me (about 2x per month) - they live about 1 hour and 15 minutes away.

I do make the effort to give them surprise visits sometimes too because I know they really love that - they''re getting older and really, what makes them most happy is seeing their children and grandchildren.

I love them, get along well with them, enjoy being with them and everyone''s very close (always have been) - but truthfully I get busy with my own "stuff" and don''t visit as often as I "should" (or as much as they wish I did I''m sure).

 

[October2008bride]

I live pretty close to my parents - about 45 minutes away by car. I probably see them once a month in the summer and I wish I saw them more.

For the past few years, now that they are empty nesters, they spend ALL of the time at their cottage or in the winter, my mom goes to FL for the whole time. I think they think their ''parenting'' days are done and it is time to just do what they want.

I can''t argue with that, but I wish I saw them more, and I know my sister and her kids wish they were more involved.

It''s so interesting - in Canada people rarely move away from their family - an hour or two at the most from the people I know. In the states it seems that more people are spread out across the country. Neat!