How much should one spend on an e-ring?

[sapphic]

How much should one spend on an e-ring? 2 months pay? Is that net or gross? There''s a big difference. I think I take home ~50% of my gross after Uncle Sam, 401K, employee stock plan, etc etc. The national average I heard on TV was 5k for the ring and 20k for the wedding.

It seems to be this girly competitive thing regarding size ... or maybe I''m just with a girly competitive girl So what do you think is a reasonable amount to spend on a ring for these types of scenarios:

Makes 30k/yr = 5k gross
Makes 60k/yr = 10K gross
Makes 90k/yr = 15K gross
Makes 120/yr = 20K gross

That''s just gross I think anything greater than 120k and you probably hit the upper limit on the amount u should spend.

 

[Kamuelamom]

I feel it''s whatever they can afford and desire to spend w/o having to borrow money for it. I''m not a follow the 2-mo rule kinda girl. My DH can thank me for that.

 

[sapphic]

I would thank you for it too

Let's take the debt thing out of the equation....let's its all cash, no financing involved. That's what the wedding is for

 

[drkewl]

a size that will make her happy with a budget you can afford... if they don't meet, find a middle ground.

for the most part 1-2 Carats if within your budget seems to make 'most' girls estatic. A lot of people on this forum with big time rings have those as 'upgrades'. Also finding out and PAYING ATTENTION to what your girl may want is important. If her dream ring is an emerald cut or something, get her an emerald diamond!

for some simple girls who maybe don't like jewlery, something smaller may be appropriate... if you have a high maintenance gal... well... best of luck!

If size is all that matters to her, you could probably get a lower 'quality' large ring pretty easily. If quality is her thing, geting a nice colored H or higher, SI1 or higher, may be the way to go. If she wants both... you just have to decide how much you love her

 

[jennalyns]

My ring cost much less than 2 months of my fiance''s salary, and I chose it! I wanted a less-than-one-carat stone, it fits better for my lifestyle and personality. I think it''s more important that you pay attention to her tastes and style, and get something she would like and would compliment her, not something that costs a certain amount because of a marketing "rule." Good luck!

 

[MissAva]

However ever much you feel comfertable spending. You might be able to spend more then you think is right. Also her ring size might affect this if she is one of those lucky size 3.5 girls then something much over a ct will look silly and fake but if she is a size 7 then a 2.5 could look charming. Also how much are you wanting to spend on the setting they go from 500$ to 10,000$.

 

[sxn675]

Whatever you can! My husband spent more than two months'' salary on my ring, but he''d also been saving for awhile. He''s a resident and therefore poor, and I know that some of his friends financed the rings they purchased. I think that''s crazy given the amount of student loans they all have! I told him that I did NOT want him to do that. After all, he purchased the ring himself, but if he accrued debt, it would be ours after marriage, know what I mean? Anyway, I''d say that you should take a look at your finances and start saving. Pay what you can in cash. Also, take a look at a 0% interest card. H didn''t go that route, but I know people who have and they paid it all off before the interest started to accrue. Good luck!

 

[sjz]

I think having a formula that should dictate the price you spend on an ering is nuts. Everyone''s financial and personal situation is different. For example...I know one girl who simply didn''t like diamonds. Her favorite gemstone is blue topaz, which is a relatively inexpensive gemstone when compared to a diamond. It would have been ludicrous for her fiance to spend 2 months salary on a blue topaz ring. I knew another girl who had read or heard that 2 month salary rule thing, and was mad as all heck when her boyfried proposed using his grandmother''s diamond! He''d had the stone reset in a more modern setting, and had spent a nice sum of money on that, but this girl was truly furious that he had given her a "hand-me-down" diamond, and not went out and spent several thousand dollars of his own money. The sentimentality and romance of the grandmother''s diamond was totally lost on this girl, because all she could see was that he hadn''t spent as much money as he was "supposed to" on her ring!

I think that the amount of money spent should be whatever is available to spend. Period. If that won''t buy the girl the ring of her dreams, then she could chip in a little money toward "her" dream. Or wait until he has the money. Or get what he can afford now, and upgrade later. Or forget the whole thing...lol.

 

[Mara]

According to that formula, my ring should cost about 2ce as much as it did...no thanks!! We had a wedding to pay for and a house to buy!

I think that the right amount to spend varies per individual and the people involved. Not everyone wants a big rock or to max out the budget. We started with something in mind, it felt good and we kind of went from there.

 

[MrBleeker]

Sapphic,

First of all.. no one can put a price on love.. and that is what the ring symbolizes -- your commitment to another person for the rest of your life.

Now let me follow that by saying, everyone wants to please their wife-to-be as much as they can, and that may mean you are looking at very nice diamond rings, but remember... if she loves you, she will absolutely love you for who YOU are and the price of the ring *should* be insignificant, up to certain bounds (ha)!

That said, when I started looking, I set myself a budget of $4000 max. I have stuck to that, and that includes my center stone, and wedding and engagement bands. I just had my solitare Princess stone set aside today from DCD (James Allen) and I can't wait to have it set, appraised etc... so that I can post pics for everyone to see here.

I have seen others on these boards, who spend $15,000 on a ring, not even an engagement ring.. quite easily. People like this, they enjoy diamonds and there is nothing wrong with that.

My point is, within your own reasonable budget, set a limit and stick hard to it, it is very easy to go above... and keep in mind, the carbon and metal object sitting on her finger shouldn't be what sets the level of love or commitment that you and your significant other have. It's just a nice addition to show your love for each other.

Best of luck to you in finding that "perfect" stone and ring !!

*In no way was I trying to poke at anyone, insinuating that they were basing their "love" on a piece of jewelery.*

 

[diamondfan]

I do not like the word "should". It is a marketing gimmick to me. Did Donald Trump do it? (Her ring is amazing but it was not MILLIONS). I think it is better based on what you see yourself in due to life style etc, and what can be comfortably afforded. I do not mind some debt for it, unless the guy has saved well. And, sentimentality aside, you can always upgrade later if it works. If you could afford a condo when you first got married, and then could afford a small home, and then larger...people do not stay in the first home or car they buy...I think one can outgrow their first ring too. I am sentimental about a lot of things, so before anyone gets upset by what I said, I think that as long as the heart and emotions are there, a diamond does not have a "soul" so if you both can and want to, an upgrade is always an option if one''s finances change enough.

 

[sapphic]

Thanks for the comments...Yeah, kind of the answer I was expecting from everyone. And I guess ultimately I will be making the decision based on my girl''s taste....just like to hear everyone''s input.

My reason for wanting to go bigger is because she is sentimental and doubt she would ever want to trade it in. Because of this fact, I feel that I should go as big as I feel is reasonable and more or less the standard size amongst her friends. Maybe this is one of those things that change when a girl sees another girl''s 3 carat I''m sure demographics have a big part in the whole thing too. I live in California, where I think girls like the bigger bling. I think NYC are another area where bigger is the norm.

To get an idea of my point of view....at the end of the day, I am a man who still does not understand why a shiny piece of carbon could cost as much as a car. Having spent a lot of time reading here on PS has given me a great appreciation for diamonds and ideal cuts, but not quite why they cost as much as they do. They do use CZ as calibration stones to show what an ideal cut should look like for an Ideal-Scope, right? Hope this doesn''t offend any diamond lovers, but I''m just a guy thrown into this.

My friends tell me women are not to be understood...oh well...

 

[DiaDiva]

sapphic, I think you should spend whatever you can comfortably afford. When DH and I first got engaged, my e-ring was a 0.56 carat marquise and I loved it. Along the way, we picked up a 1.1 ct RB and my current pear. Luckily for me, I was able to keep all my e-rings. I''m not suggesting you follow my "bad" example, but at the end of the day, it''s just not worth getting into debt for a diamond ring. Friends who know me were surprised that I picked a relatively small diamond but who cares? What matters is the love behind and your commitment to your girlfriend, right?

 

[drk]

We had a budget of $5000US for my stone. That was no where near 2 months'' salary, nor even 1 month''s salary. Since I had to convince my husband that a diamond ring was important, I was happy with that budget. We initially looked at 0.8ct diamonds, but ended up deciding on a 1.2ct K SI1 diamond that we both love. Bigger, fit our budget, and we really liked the little bit of warmth that the K has. I don''t intend to upgrade, though I wouldn''t say no to other nice jewels at some point!
I''m the kind of person who wouldn''t have wanted to spend more than that on a ring. We''re going to be buying a house sometime in the near future, may need to get a car etc, and even though we both have savings, I just can''t see spending a ton of money on a piece of jewelry.
I say spend what you are comfortable with, and don''t go by any "rules". Definitely DON''T go into debt to get the rock!

 

[VuittonGal]

It''s completely a personal thing. The whole two months salary thing is just marketing.

P.S. I do believe The Donald spent a few million on that ring for his wife.

 

[moremoremore]

I agree- there is no formula. You spend what you feel comfortable spending!

 

[jcrow]

i think it is so personal. For us, I would rather put in some money for the ring too. we are both starting out with our careers-and i have a year and a half up on him.

Also, I will probably have the responsibility of paying for much of the wedding. and if so, i would much rather a smaller, more intimate gathering and a nicer ring. The ring lasts a lifetime. A wedding is a day. I don''t know- that''s just me.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I definitely think that people need to be reasonable first. If all he can afford is x carat, then be happy with that. You can set a goal to upgrade by a certain point. People first getting married often have their sights set on other things as well . . . buying a house, starting a family, etc. The engagement ring needs to be weighed against other priorities.

I would never recommend spending more on an engagement ring than you have in the bank. If you have the $ invested and want to finance the ring because you're getting higher returns from your investments than the interest you're paying on the ring, fine. But if you simply don't have the money in the bank, then you can't afford the ring. It seems to me that the credit card industry has made us believe that we are entitled to all the luxuries of a comfortable income now. People are getting themselves in a pit they can't dig out of with all the things they're buying on credit. Just say no. If you don't have the money, you'll have to do something else . . . get a CZ and replace it with a diamond later, get a small diamond, etc. My husband bought me a $125 promise ring off of eBay five years ago. The diamond was very small, but I was always getting compliments on it, and I still love it. If that was all I could have had, my life could be a lot worse than having a beautiful but small ring from a man who loves me.

To me it's not so much income as savings. Some people have high income and no savings (and maybe even high debt to boot), and some people have a more modest income but manage to save well. I would recommend spending no more than 10-20% of your savings on a ring (and less if your savings is considerable . . . in which case, good for you!). I even think that if the size of the diamond is really, really important to the woman, she should consider pitching in. It's ok to want to a nice diamond, but you can't expect a man on a limited income to magically come up with the moolah to pay for those 2 carats or whatever. So if a woman thinks there is a "too small" range, she should contribute to the ring fund.

 

[valeria101]

'Little' details change the cost of a ring somuch, that it might just be more practical to start with a certain look than a budget in mind. I can understand why a seller would like you to think of budget first though, and that iswhere the idea comes from after all.

For better or worse, neither 5k not 20k get near what can be spent on a diamond ring and one would think that the definition of 'reasonable' varies even more than diamond prices.

I can imagine a grad student with no debt and no cash so to speak borrowing against future income or just not buying a ring based on current conditions - not long ago I had lots of exmaples of either right at hand among my colleagues. And countles other choices come easy... What is hard to imagine is that this one ring must be the one and only jewel of a lifetime: many more can come afterwads, only the meaning is unique. IMO, this particular purchase should not 'hurt'. Obviously, I am not of the competitive type

 

[kenny]

VuittonGal wrote "P.S. I do believe The Donald spent a few million on that ring for his wife."

Only a few million?

What a tightwad!
That is only two DAY''s salary for the Donald.

 

[laney]

Not following your example of salary to amount, I''ll give you some of my friends budgets...

One is friend looking to spend $5000 - setting included and hoping he can get close to 1ct His girl likes a 1200 setting and doesn''t care so much for the stone as long as it''s in this setting. He''ll go a little higher - but basically that''s what he has saved. His judgement wasn''t on the size of the ring.. but what he could reasonably put aside to spend.

One is looking to spend between $4-7k. He bought the house first, they live together and are looking for the stone together. They are in a more confortable place, but he''s looking size first, and not focusing too much on cost. they want a 1ct stone in a certain shape... and that''s what the range is.

Another friend is looking for an 10 yr anniversary ring and has a budget of 5K for a 3 stone princess. She plans to spring it on her husband and trying to see if 5K will cover what she wants..

Another is looking for an 20 yr anniversary ring and has a budget of up to 12K for a pear. He wants to surprise his wife.. and feels that that''s a good chuck o'' change.

So - people are motivated by different things. One may be a fixed amount. One may be a size of stone, one may be finding exactly what they want. None of them were motivated by what they should spend. None of those amounts equals 2 months salary exactly...

When we looked - it was the best stone we could afford within a certain budget. Hubby exceeded the budget when we found the stone.. It also had nothing to do with salary considerations..

 

[JCJD]

How much you spend on the ering depends on a compromise between what you can afford and what you both want in a ring. If she wants an intricate setting with a small diamond versus a large diamond in a simple setting, that will change the price range you''ll be shopping in. Do you know what style she wants? What metal does she like? The golds are less expensive than plat. How big are her hands? A 3ct would look ridiculous on me (age 23, biologist, ring size 4.5) for example, but it looks just right on others (Jennifer5973

). And keep in mind that if you get an ideal cut, her diamond will outperform (sparkle) larger poorly cut diamonds around her. A recently engaged girl on here commented that everyone at work asked her "why does it sparkle so much?", which is way more intriguing and eye-catching than "wow it''s so big". Lifestyle plays a part too - is she active? A smaller diamond in a low or perhaps bezel setting would suit her more. More like Paris Hilton? Go with an eye-catching setting, perhaps with sapphires, even a colored center stone (a la Nicole Ritchie). Does she even want a diamond ering? You could go with a colored gemstone so she stands out of the crowd.

Oh boy..... I bet I just confused you more.... if so, disregard.

But at the end of the day, you know her better than any of us on a public forum. Take her ring shopping, ask her best friend, sisters, mom, about what she''d like in a ring, and go from there. There is no budget rule except when used as a marketing ploy. And if she really wants the 3ct in an expensive setting that you can''t afford now, then she can either pitch in, wait for you to save for it, or upgrade stone, setting, or both later.

 

[jcrow]

I agree JCJD. I am the same. I''d like a 2 ct. solitaire with a simple plain setting. I am willing to pitch in - and wait too. which is what we are doing.

and maybe it''s just me but financing isn''t always bad. if you have no other credit cards - or other things financed (like a car or house), and you have savings in the bank (and you''re a good saver)- then one thing to owe isn''t bad. It''s all in choices, priorities.

 

[JROC]

Date: 8/10/2005 3:16:35 AM
Author: sapphic
Thanks for the comments...Yeah, kind of the answer I was expecting from everyone. And I guess ultimately I will be making the decision based on my girl''s taste....just like to hear everyone''s input.

My reason for wanting to go bigger is because she is sentimental and doubt she would ever want to trade it in. Because of this fact, I feel that I should go as big as I feel is reasonable and more or less the standard size amongst her friends. Maybe this is one of those things that change when a girl sees another girl''s 3 carat I''m sure demographics have a big part in the whole thing too. I live in California, where I think girls like the bigger bling. I think NYC are another area where bigger is the norm.

sappic,
How big are your girlfriends hands, because a .90-.99 will look huge if she has long thin fingers. It will be the perception of others that the diamond is bigger than it really is. In that case, bigger is not always better. For me, smaller (.93), which isn''t small at all, was better because I could afford a much better quality diamond than maybe some of those other girls wearing the 1.5 -2ct diamonds that are of possibly lower quality.

Take a look at this thread, you can see that some of the under 1ct diamonds look rather huge

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/under-1ct-diamonds.25028/

 

[decodelighted]

Jcrow, I completely agree. I''m one of those gals that has not much interest in the wedding, but maybe too much interest (??) in the ring! However, I am willing to kick in to make my ring dreams come true ... (also with the wedding expenses, but luckily my family will help some with that - even though I''m in my middle thirties)! Come to think of it - that may be part of it too ...

 

[churchwedding]

Despite being swamped at work, I couldn''t help but having to respond to this. It looks like most of the responses here are from woman...I''m a guy that just got engaged a few months ago and I suffered through this thought process as well. First, I agree with most everyone is saying here...don''t go into debt (or not too much), definately determine what is important to her (some women are much more concerned about the ring than any other gift you will eventually give her) and just go with your gut.

As a guy, one thing that you might consider too...is what will YOU be happy with? Most of the time I''m a fairly conservative guy, but when it comes to buying things that reflect on me as a person, I am very sensitive. To me, and this may sound foolish, materialistic or both, I think the ring you buy ultimately reflects on the type of person you are. The only caveat to this is if you have a fiance that does not care about the ring at all. But, if she is within the majority and does care about the ring, you should consider buying something that will make you feel proud too. For example, regardless of what your income is, if you drive around in a $65,000 mercedes (even if it''s leased) and you buy your finace a .5 CT H I1 stone, then I would be embarrased for this individual (and his wife)...what this says to this person''s spouse and his friends/family is that a car is more important to him than the symbol of everlasting love. So, bottom line...do what everyone else is saying here and make sure you make a purchase that you can be just as happy and proud of!

 

[ame]

I say spend what you can actually afford.

 

[diamondfan]

Vuitton girl, I am a gossip fiend, and I think it was from Graff and was 1 million dollars...certainly an insane amount of money, I heard it is d/f or d/if. He could have spent more (think of Paris Hilton''s ring) so all I was saying is that at a certain point, two months of his salary and she could probably have the Hope diamond!!!!

 

[diamondfan]

One more point..I agree with J Crow. The weding is important and lots of girls (me included) dreamt of the faceless groom and all the details of my big day. Ended up with tons of stress, spent lots and did not eat or feel relaxed. I am not saying pick the stone over the celebration, but sometimes intimate is nicer if you can do it. I think sometimes you can do it if you are not from a huge family. Unfortunately, weddings can bring out yuck in peeple, and the wedding is the beginning of your lives together , not the end. Putting more of your money into a bigger better ring which you will look at daily, esp. if you are currently not on the upgrade bandwagon, makes a lot of sense. People are at the wedding to share in your joy, and probably do not care as much as you might about the pricey details. Do what feels comfortable and you are unlikely to go wrong!

 

[jcrow]

thanks so much dimondfan. i thought i was the only one who thought this way, but it just makes sense for me. and i do come from a very small family. don''t get me wrong, i want it to be a nice wedding, but with fewer people, & less food. a diamond reflects you and your style. The world doesn''t go to your wedding, but they see your ring on a daily basis. I would rather have a well-reflecting ring than all that money spent on a single day.