How much do you let social circles and lifestyle dictate what kind of jewelry you wear?

[jill_s]

I have a beautiful 2.4 J stone that is likely my forever stone. It is currently set in the WF legato solitaire (see my avatar for how I wear it on a daily basis). While I''m loving the stone, I''ve been thinking of how to make the setting a little more blingy. I have been trying on some 3-stone rings, and I think that''s it for me. My favorite proportions are my 2.4 center stone with ~0.5ct. side stones (1ctw).

Ok, so here''s my dilemma. While I''m totally loving the 3-stone, it is pretty blingy for my lifestyle. I''m a SAHM. We live in a modest house, drive used cars, and don''t have too much in the way of *flash*. All of my friends have erings that are 1ct or less. My stone is already the biggest one in my social circle. My DH is an investment manager, so we use our discretionary cash for saving/investing, some travel, and mama''s bling habit! My guilty pleasure is sparkly things! While I totally think I could rock a 3.5ctw 3-stone, it would be *very* blingy for my lifestyle. I wouldn''t feel unsafe wearing it, but I''m sure it would call lots of attention (both positive and negative). So I''m torn...at what point do you let social circles and lifestyle dictate what kinds of jewelry you wear?

Just for reference, here is a pic I snapped with my iphone (sorry for the quality!) of a CZ ring I picked up. The center stone in this is just a tiny bit larger than my 2.4, and the sidestones appear to be about 0.5ct each. So, basically what my dream 3-stone would look like.

 

[jill_s]

Whoops...pic didn''t post. Trying again...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

If you can afford it, will wear it, and want it, go for it!!!!!

We can''t afford it, I wouldn''t wear it, but I would love to have one

Although it would be too big of a ring for me, I would celebrate a friend getting it and would happily drool over it from a far

 

[researcher]

I personally think you should get what you want. Adding a couple of side stones will add bling, but it''s definitely not over the top. If you feel safe wearing your rings on a daily basis, I think you should go for it. It would be a beautiful, drool-worthy set! If those around you make comments, so be it. Snide remarks are usually a sign of jealousy. You can always say you chose the diamonds over a designer bag or shoes. People all have their guilty pleasures. I would wear the bigger ring proudly!

 

[DeeDeDee]

Do you think a wrap would work for you? If you got one that had the .5''s as sidestones, you could make a 3-stone when you felt like it without committing to it permanently.

I completely understand where you''re coming from too. Sounds a lot like my situation!

 

[Farleysmom]

I think you should get whatever makes YOU feel happy.

I smiled when I read your post because I thought, other than the SAHM, it could be me. Both my husband and I work and my husband is a Chartered Financial Planner so we too put a nice nest-egg aside each year. We also live in a modest house (very middle class) and other than my sparklies, don''t have a blingy lifestyle. My ering is a 2.0 ct RB and I have a 1.5 ct emerald as my RHR. Although it is probably the biggest bling in our social circle, I wear my rings for me (''cause I like and enjoy hem) and no-one else. I have been thinking that I would like a 1.25 ctw 5 stone band to inter-change with my rings -- I like a blingy look too! Sometimes I feel a little self conscious and will take my rings off (except a band) and put them in a pouch in my purse but, for the most part, wear them every day.

We have a great circle of supportive family and friends who don''t judge on "what I wear" but rather what kind of people we are. These are the only people and opinions that matter to us.

Everyone deserves to be happy and if bling makes you happy -- wear it proudly and enjoy.

 

[jill_s]

Date: 4/22/2010 2:43:39 PM
Author: Farleysmom
I think you should get whatever makes YOU feel happy.


I smiled when I read your post because I thought, other than the SAHM, it could be me. Both my husband and I work and my husband is a Chartered Financial Planner so we too put a nice nest-egg aside each year. We also live in a modest house (very middle class) and other than my sparklies, don''t have a blingy lifestyle. My ering is a 2.0 ct RB and I have a 1.5 ct emerald as my RHR. Although it is probably the biggest bling in our social circle, I wear my rings for me (''cause I like and enjoy hem) and no-one else. I have been thinking that I would like a 1.25 ctw 5 stone band to inter-change with my rings -- I like a blingy look too! Sometimes I feel a little self conscious and will take my rings off (except a band) and put them in a pouch in my purse but, for the most part, wear them every day.


We have a great circle of supportive family and friends who don''t judge on ''what I wear'' but rather what kind of people we are. These are the only people and opinions that matter to us.


Everyone deserves to be happy and if bling makes you happy -- wear it proudly and enjoy.

Farleysmom - thanks for your post. My DH and I are also CFPs (although I''m not using mine much right now as a SAHM), so I bet you really can understand! I want to be financially prudent, but I also love my bling! The 3-stone look is so classic, and I really think I could love it for a long time (which is good, because we need to start funneling some serious cash towards DDs college education fund instead of my bling habit)! Thankfully DH is great about it. We each get discretionary spending money each week, and I tend to sock mine away for sparkly things.

 

[jill_s]

DDD - thanks for your suggestion. I did think about that, but I''ve decided that I don''t particularly care for the look of wraps. I''m also not sure they would work with my solitaire since the sides taper up (if that makes sense). Hmm..decisions, decisions!

 

[jill_s]

Date: 4/22/2010 2:32:36 PM
Author: researcher
I personally think you should get what you want. Adding a couple of side stones will add bling, but it''s definitely not over the top. If you feel safe wearing your rings on a daily basis, I think you should go for it. It would be a beautiful, drool-worthy set! If those around you make comments, so be it. Snide remarks are usually a sign of jealousy. You can always say you chose the diamonds over a designer bag or shoes. People all have their guilty pleasures. I would wear the bigger ring proudly!

researcher - diamonds are for sure my guilty habit! I appreciate your comments. I think the shock of the new setting with be big at first, but over time it will probably start to feel very at home on my finger!

BTW, your set it just divine! I love it!

 

[Venice]

I say go for it! Life is too short to worry about something that would make you happy. Your "true" friends will not mind one bit. I, too, love sparkles whether it be diamonds or crystal. I LOVE looking at it! It makes me happy. I put my ring on the minute I wake up just so I can look at it. It may sound dumb to some people, but looking at diamonds makes me happy, and I deserve to be happy. So do you!

 

[susimoo]

Hi

Let me start of by saying I love your set. Your solitaire is my dream kind of size.

Now to your question. I wear my rings for me, no one else, just me. What anyone else, besides my DH thinks of them, I couldn''t care less! Obviously it is very nice to be complemented on your sparkle, but if no one else ever mentioned them to me again, ever, it wouldn''t bother me. They are my pleasure.

I say go for it.You are doing it sensibly, not going into debt for the upgrade, so why not treat yourself to your heart''s desire!!!


Ps I know, enable, enable, enable, but hey ho, its a diamond forum!

 

[that_someone_special]

Only 2 of my friends are married (in the closer circle). They both have very small diamonds, both around .30ct.

Could they afford more? Definitely! But, they really just don''t care. Because of that, and my love of diamonds, I just wear what I want around them. I will be a SAHM too (when we have babies!) and I just can''t imagine not wearing something I love because what others might say or do.

If anything, my friends ask to try my rings on and they always joke, "You always said you''d get a huge diamond.. but I never actually believed you!!" lol They are all happy for me.

I think, wear what you want!!! True friends will be happy for you!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/22/2010 3:09:33 PM
Author: Venice
I say go for it! Life is too short to worry about something that would make you happy. Your ''true'' friends will not mind one bit. I, too, love sparkles whether it be diamonds or crystal. I LOVE looking at it! It makes me happy. I put my ring on the minute I wake up just so I can look at it. It may sound dumb to some people, but looking at diamonds makes me happy, and I deserve to be happy. So do you!

I feel the same way!

 

[pancake]

It influenced me a bit, but it was more about work and practicality than about social circles. My friends would never judge me for that kind of thing, but I''m a kids'' doctor - I spend a lot of time playing on the floor with my patients, doing procedures, taking gloves on and off, using antibacterial goo, washing my hands etc etc - so I probably went a bit smaller with my e-ring stone so that I would be sure to be able to wear it all the time.

But in your situation I would just go for it! That CZ "mock-up" looks AMAZING on your hand and I say if it''s what you want, you can afford it and it makes you happy - DOO EET.

(DOO EET).

 

[susimoo]

Date: 4/22/2010 3:10:59 PM
Author: susimoo
Hi


Let me start of by saying I love your set. Your solitaire is my dream kind of size.


Now to your question. I wear my rings for me, no one else, just me. What anyone else, besides my DH thinks of them, I couldn''t care less! Obviously it is very nice to be complemented on your sparkle, but if no one else ever mentioned them to me again, ever, it wouldn''t bother me. They are my pleasure.


I say go for it.You are doing it sensibly, not going into debt for the upgrade, so why not treat yourself to your heart''s desire!!!



Ps I know, enable, enable, enable, but hey ho, its a diamond forum!

Pps Forgot to add I am also a SAHM. I wear on an average day 8 carats of diamonds between my wedding set, RHR, ER''s and bracelet just to do the nursery run! lol

 

[Dreamer_D]

Jill, this thread is timely for me because I have been thinking about these issues a lot too. As you now, I am upgrading to ~1.7ct right now and although it is my dream size that I have been hankering for since I started coveting diamonds 3 years ago, it will be *very* conspicuous in my social circle. I do not know a single person other than my MIL who has a ring larger than 1ct, her ring is around 1.3ct and set into a Simon G style pave split shank setting and it gathers a lot of attention in our family. And I don''t see larger rings when I am out and about either. And I worry a little about what people will think

My one friend who is interested in diamonds and supports my habit totally actually commented that she is nervous about my ring being too big for our social circle!

But we are like your family in that we do not spend our money on fancy cars or vacations-- others we know do. My DH likes to golf, and I like bling, so that is where our discretionary income goes! It will be ending for me though with this upgrade because we need to prioritize other things in the coming years.

But I am like you because I love big bling!! I look at my ring at least 100 times a day and it brings me great pleasure. I love the feel of big rocks on my hand, the sparkle, the decadence... the whole enchilada. That three stone you posted is my DREAM ring, I love it completely, and one day I will reset my diamond into something similar with slightly smaller sides to match my smaller center stone.

I think that ring looks awesome on your hand and will completely satisfy your desire for more bling. At least it should

A larger center stone will not add as much wow factor in my opinion as that three stone will, because your diamond is alreasy so large that you would need to make a huge leap to notice the difference.

 

[lknvrb4]

I try not to worry what anybody else thinks. My husband does not understand why I love bling. It''s just something that I like, it makes me happy. My ring is only a 1.02 RB and it''s larger than anyone else''s in my family besides my MIL rock. I would say where I live it''s larger than most peoples rings. I always check out other womens rings which might be a problem in itself. LOL I think everyone should wear their rings and be proud regardless of their surroundings. Everyone has different hobbies ours are just a little different.

 

[TotalNewbie]

Your CZ mockup looks amazing.

I recently thought about what you wrote too, from the opposite perspective. I work on Wall Street. The women here all have 1.5-2 cts as a rule, many 3ct+ stones. A woman here in the office has a 4ct stone (emerald cut and stunning! She is model-tall and carries it off beautifully). I'm about to be engaged, and I've just chosen a 1.4ct stone. Simply because I didn't grow up in an environment where people wear 3ct rings and it would NOT make me comfortable. Psychologically I can't justify spending that much on a piece of jewelry (I know, I'm in the minority here on PS with that thinking) or I'd be worried about losing it despite insurance. Also, I am 5'1" , slight build, and have tiny, tiny hands. A huge stone would just look silly and make me feel self-conscious. Bottom line was that I want a ring I'll wear nearly all the time, and I wouldn't feel right wearing something closer to what my friends wear. BUT I know I'll be happy, we've picked the setting and I'm going to absolutely love the ring, it's a good rock, and it doesn't matter what everyone else wears. Anyway the only thing that matters is that you're comfortable with it and you can afford it. It'll look great on you!

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 4/22/2010 3:22:57 PM
Author: susimoo

Date: 4/22/2010 3:10:59 PM

Author: susimoo

Hi



Let me start of by saying I love your set. Your solitaire is my dream kind of size.



Now to your question. I wear my rings for me, no one else, just me. What anyone else, besides my DH thinks of them, I couldn''t care less! Obviously it is very nice to be complemented on your sparkle, but if no one else ever mentioned them to me again, ever, it wouldn''t bother me. They are my pleasure.



I say go for it.You are doing it sensibly, not going into debt for the upgrade, so why not treat yourself to your heart''s desire!!!




Ps I know, enable, enable, enable, but hey ho, its a diamond forum!

Pps Forgot to add I am also a SAHM. I wear on an average day 8 carats of diamonds between my wedding set, RHR, ER''s and bracelet just to do the nursery run! lol

I was actually thinking of starting a thread asking what everyones "average daily" diamond wear is (carat wise..) 8 is a lot!!

 

[legallyspoiled]

I never gave any thought to my ring compared to others in my social circle before I became a pricescoper. I could care less how my ring compares to others. You are the one that has to live with it 24/7.

 

[AprilBaby]

Go with what you love and want and don''t worry about what your friends say. It looks lovely on your hand!

 

[Venice]

Date: 4/22/2010 3:36:17 PM
Author: dreamer_d
Jill, this thread is timely for me because I have been thinking about these issues a lot too. As you now, I am upgrading to ~1.7ct right now and although it is my dream size that I have been hankering for since I started coveting diamonds 3 years ago, it will be *very* conspicuous in my social circle. I do not know a single person other than my MIL who has a ring larger than 1ct, her ring is around 1.3ct and set into a Simon G style pave split shank setting and it gathers a lot of attention in our family. And I don''t see larger rings when I am out and about either. And I worry a little about what people will think

My one friend who is interested in diamonds and supports my habit totally actually commented that she is nervous about my ring being too big for our social circle!

But we are like your family in that we do not spend our money on fancy cars or vacations-- others we know do. My DH likes to golf, and I like bling, so that is where our discretionary income goes! It will be ending for me though with this upgrade because we need to prioritize other things in the coming years.

But I am like you because I love big bling!! I look at my ring at least 100 times a day and it brings me great pleasure. I love the feel of big rocks on my hand, the sparkle, the decadence... the whole enchilada. That three stone you posted is my DREAM ring, I love it completely, and one day I will reset my diamond into something similar with slightly smaller sides to match my smaller center stone.

I think that ring looks awesome on your hand and will completely satisfy your desire for more bling. At least it should

A larger center stone will not add as much wow factor in my opinion as that three stone will, because your diamond is alreasy so large that you would need to make a huge leap to notice the difference.

dreamer_d, are we twins separated at birth?

 

[iota15]

Date: 4/22/2010 2:43:39 PM
Author: Farleysmom
I think you should get whatever makes YOU feel happy.

I smiled when I read your post because I thought, other than the SAHM, it could be me. Both my husband and I work and my husband is a Chartered Financial Planner so we too put a nice nest-egg aside each year. We also live in a modest house (very middle class) and other than my sparklies, don''t have a blingy lifestyle. My ering is a 2.0 ct RB and I have a 1.5 ct emerald as my RHR. Although it is probably the biggest bling in our social circle, I wear my rings for me (''cause I like and enjoy hem) and no-one else. I have been thinking that I would like a 1.25 ctw 5 stone band to inter-change with my rings -- I like a blingy look too! Sometimes I feel a little self conscious and will take my rings off (except a band) and put them in a pouch in my purse but, for the most part, wear them every day.

We have a great circle of supportive family and friends who don''t judge on ''what I wear'' but rather what kind of people we are. These are the only people and opinions that matter to us.

Everyone deserves to be happy and if bling makes you happy -- wear it proudly and enjoy.

Farleysmom! Let''s see this bling!!!!

Jill - Along with most other posters here, I say, get it. It''ll make you happy. Plus, if you indeed feel self-conscious about it, you can always choose to leave it at home when you go out, or turn it around.

Your solitaire is already the biggest in your social circle, and believe me honey, they''ve Already talked about it. But they''re still your friends... and while your new 3-stone may generate a little bit more chatter, it will become passe in no time. The brunt of the chatter should have come up during the initial shock of seeing your 2.4 ct when you first got it.

When you first bring out the 3-stone, there might be a few "oh geez, now That''s bling!" but how many times can people really say that. You, on the other hand, get to look at it everyday... and it brings you joy. Get through the initial period, if there is any at all, and enjoy your new bling (and oh, we''ll want pics... lots of them!).

 

[HappyNewLife]

my new motto in life is to do what makes me happy, so if it makes you smile--- DO IT!!!!!!!!!

it''s gorgeous!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Jill, I am a SAHM as well, although most of my kids are grown. I don''t think that look is to blingy. I would grab your hand and probably drool all over it. I have experienced a few snide remarks from acquaintances
and a couple from friends. There have been times when I didn''t want to wear my rings to those places where someone said something cutting. HOWEVER, I so agree with Dreamer, I look at my rings a hundred
times a day and they give me joy!!! I love looking at the sparkle in different lights, and especially in the summer under a multicolored umbrella by our pool! They make me happy. My family is totally
supportive. I have a hard time taking money out of savings to buy these big purchases but I manage to get over it!

We can''t worry about the other people that make these comments. We are not ruled by what they think or feel. It gives you joy!!!! GO FOR IT!!!!

 

[missydebby]

This is also timely for me. I''m deciding on my new ring and I have to admit, what is common in my social circles DOES play a factor in my decision making. Let me explain, I live in Holland 3 quarters of the year and NOBODY here wears big diamonds. In fact, it''s even still pretty rare to have a diamond at all on either the ering or WB. No matter what I choose, it''s still gonna be flashy for here, but there''s flashy and FLASHY. I love both, but I feel pretty sure I want to keep it somewhat contained.

Now, when I''m in the States, I live in a well known richy-rich ski area, and to be honest, I can''t wait to have a l''il something that holds it''s weight.

So I''m feeling like my beautiful middle is what I''m contemplating in my other thread. (Just have to truly decide if I can forgo pave)

But I am so happy I''m doing this. And that I''ve given myself permission to go head into my love of diamonds without guilt. I''m not using the college fund, I have no debt, life''s short and I''m gonna spend money on a piece of art that I can wear on my hand.

 

[Lola0918]

My first ER was a pretty 1 ct princess cut and at the time (Mid 20''s), it was a ''keep up with the Jonses" type thing between my friends. Even though it was never verbally expressed, everyone was trying to outdo one another. It was really bothersome.

I since divorced but run with the same crowd, my girlfriends from childhood. My FI gave me a 2.7 ct cushion that is just to die for and I felt kind of funny showing my friends for the 1st time. I thought there would be some eye rolling by some. We''ve all grown up quite a bit and have faced some life challenges so all of the reactions I received were the heartfelt emotions of me finding what I never thought I could ever have in a partner. I''m sure there were some feelings of envy but nothing outright nasty. They wouldn''t be my friends if they were! Bottom line, we both work and make a pretty decent living, live well below our means and he gave me this ring for ME! Not to show off but because he knows I am in love with diamonds. Out of all my friends, I dress to the nines every day for work and also put in the effort when we are at a playdate with my son, at the park, at a school function, etc. I''m considered the glam one and I don''t care. I don''t flaunt anything. I just love all things fashionable and pretty.

I think any hard feelings may be coming from other issues individually, whether it be unhapiness, financial struggles, etc. I love my girlfriends and I count on them for everything but I do think a little envy is human nature. I went through my fair share and I came out of it all happier, stronger and wiser. My friends know that and are happy for me.

 

[luckynumber]

i say do it.

but be prepared for the fact that sometimes people do say the stupidest things

see link for evidence of mondo stupido

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/a-very-awkward-situation.140586/

 

[Farleysmom]

Date: 4/22/2010 2:57:58 PM
Author: jill_s

Date: 4/22/2010 2:43:39 PM
Author: Farleysmom
I think you should get whatever makes YOU feel happy.


I smiled when I read your post because I thought, other than the SAHM, it could be me. Both my husband and I work and my husband is a Chartered Financial Planner so we too put a nice nest-egg aside each year. We also live in a modest house (very middle class) and other than my sparklies, don''t have a blingy lifestyle. My ering is a 2.0 ct RB and I have a 1.5 ct emerald as my RHR. Although it is probably the biggest bling in our social circle, I wear my rings for me (''cause I like and enjoy hem) and no-one else. I have been thinking that I would like a 1.25 ctw 5 stone band to inter-change with my rings -- I like a blingy look too! Sometimes I feel a little self conscious and will take my rings off (except a band) and put them in a pouch in my purse but, for the most part, wear them every day.


We have a great circle of supportive family and friends who don''t judge on ''what I wear'' but rather what kind of people we are. These are the only people and opinions that matter to us.


Everyone deserves to be happy and if bling makes you happy -- wear it proudly and enjoy.

Farleysmom - thanks for your post. My DH and I are also CFPs (although I''m not using mine much right now as a SAHM), so I bet you really can understand! I want to be financially prudent, but I also love my bling! The 3-stone look is so classic, and I really think I could love it for a long time (which is good, because we need to start funneling some serious cash towards DDs college education fund instead of my bling habit)! Thankfully DH is great about it. We each get discretionary spending money each week, and I tend to sock mine away for sparkly things.

I totally understand. I work as a Human Resources Manager at Home Depot so my bling is definitely out of place -- especially with the great lighting we have that really makes the bling sparkle

. My husband and I are also very concerned with saving for tomorrow and having funds "just in case". Although we don''t have children, there are always home repairs, etc. that need attention. My husband loves to golf and play hockey, so where he spends on sports, I spend on bling.
I love the look of the 3-stone ring you posted. I know Dreamer is also a lover of the 3-stone look. It is a timeless look that you will never tire of (and it is SERIOUS finger coverage too). I say GO FOR IT -- and remember to post lots of pictures.

 

[BritNhe]

I am new to the whole diamond world (and pricescope). I am recently engaged and still waiting to get my ring sent from the factory to the shop. I have never owned a real diamond prior to my the engagement. I grew up in a house where my mom upgraded her wedding set to about 1/2 carat with a 1/4 carat center diamond. Our social circle is small and we mostly keep to ourselves, none of our friends are married and none of them have diamonds.
Originally when we went looking at rings, I thought I would get a ring that was around a 1 carat total. I like 3 stone rings with smaller diamonds along the band and then once we started looking I realized I REALLY like diamonds

My Fiance didn''t object to whatever I wanted and we ended up getting a Scott Kay ring which we mounted a 1.25 diamond in the center, with the side stones and diamonds along the band it measures about 2 carats total. When I told my mom she just about had a heart attack saying that I was going to get mugged when I go for my runs (I run on the streets not at the gym), I''ve had people say it''s out of proportion for my hand (I wear a 3 1/2), but i''ve also seen eye''s pop out and droll drip from lips. I LOVE the ring and my Fiance loves that I love it so that''s all that matters.
I think the CZ set is beautiful!! So... I say if it''s not going to break the bank and you and your hubby think it''s acceptable and love it then do it

People will say good and bad, esp. since your diamonds will be super blingy but who cares? You love it and it makes you happy. Your fellow diamond lovers in the mean time will stand back and admire the beauty of it LOL