How many kids do you have?

[anne_h]

Adding to the anecdotal miscarriage stats... my SIL who is 28 has already had five. She and my brother do not believe in birth control for religious reasons so right now they have five kids, plus those five losses. She'd often have a miscarriage (once two) between each pregnancy. From what I know, she and my brother just feel it's normal (not sure if I do) and never pursued finding out why or what's going on. Their doctor *did* tell them to space the pregnancies out further to give her body a rest but as they do not believe in birth control, that has not occurred.

Anyways, I know this is not your situation YT, just wanted to share how common MC can be.

Take care,

Anne

 

[Maisie]

YT I'm very sad and sorry for the loss of your baby.

I have 5 children. I started early

I don't think I really had an idea growing up of how many children I would have. I did want to have them though. I didn't expect to start at the age of 18. I have been having children for most of my adult life!

My youngest was a twin and the other baby died during the pregnancy. I stopped after that. Couldn't face it again. I did get broody last year but thankfully it passed. I'm happy with what I have. Besides, James is Autistic and needs a LOT of attention. It wouldn't have been fair to bring another baby into the mix.

 

[jeweln]

I have 6 .my husband & I come from very large families so it was expected that we have one too.

 

[SB621]

I don't had any kids yet. Before I got married I had a plan. I wanted to get marred before I was 23 wait two years and have a kid by 25. I'm 27 now and still no kid... We went through a year, I think I was 25...where we tried and tried but we never got pregnant. We stopped trying and just decided to be whatever. Then this past year during the summer, we took a trip to Vegas and came back and I was pregnant... I hate talking about this and I haven't told anyone except SIL and of course DH knows but we lost the baby... I type this now because no one knows who I really am here and I don't want people I know to feel sorry for me. DH and I have since stopped trying. I still want a little baby boy of my own... But I'm scared now.

I would love twin baby boys

YT my heart goes out to you honey! I miscarried years ago and it was very tramatic. When DH and I offically started to try I had no issues with my DS or DD. Just sometimes it happens with your first. Did you see a doctor about this? Many times they can tell you what happened and offer you the support you need if you do decide to go on and have children. Regardless I'm sending you hugs and I know how tramatic it can be!

 

[Haven]

DH and I have one child, a 12-day-old son.

I have always been conflicted about whether I wanted children and how many. This is going to sound strange, but you know all those movies where large families get together in the grandparents' home or vacation home, usually for the holidays? (Think Dan in Real Life, The Family Stone, etc.) I always identify with the grandparents in those movies--I have always looked forward to being a grandparent with DH, with a house full of our children and their children. The kicker? I've never really been excited about the whole child-rearing part that comes before you get to enjoy your adult children. So, part of me thought I'd never have children, but part of me yearns for that full house in my golden years.

Now that we have our son I cannot for the life of me tell you why we waited so long. I'm 32, DH is 42, and we've been together nearly nine years. We're just slow movers in general, and we never feel like rushing into anything.

We will definitely have another child, and if I had my way we would have four children. DH has always said he wants two. We shall see. (I have three sisters, and they are my best friends. I know there's no guarantee for our own children, but I love having siblings and want to give that to our kids.)

I often feel overwhelmed with how incredibly lucky and blessed I am in this life. This happens several times a day, and has been a regular thing since I married my husband. I never dreamed *I* would have such a wonderful husband, and a beautiful home filled with the world's best furbabies. A career I absolutely love. Opportunities to live a lifestyle we love--travel, hike, bike, etc. And now we have our amazing son? It's almost too much. Why share this? Because I don't think we would have had a child if all of these other things weren't already in place. What an enormous responsibility it is to raise a child; I wouldn't have felt ready for it if we hadn't done right with our own lives. We've been so lucky to carve out fulfilling lives for ourselves, and that made us feel ready to take on the responsibility of raising a child.

 

[texaskj]

None and absolutely no regrets. My little brother is 14 years younger than me (with none in between) so I got a big dose of reality when he came along. I knew by the time I was 15 I didn't want kids. And everybody told me I'd change my mind for the next 25 years. I told my ex-husband on our first, yes, first date no kids and he spent the next 15 years trying to talk me into it. I'll always appreciate a woman I used to work with who told me to stick to my guns. She loved her kids dearly, but said motherhood was just too hard not to want it in the first place.

 

[anne_h]

She loved her kids dearly, but said motherhood was just too hard not to want it in the first place.

Agree 100%.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I actually have a very similar story to Maisie. We have five children, the oldest is 30, a daughter. We then had four boys, the youngest being 16. He was actually a twin pregnancy, but I lost one about three months along. I had my first four before I was thirty and the youngest at 36. We started young thinking that we would have time to do the things we wanted to when they were grown. It hasn't quite worked out that way. Raising kids has been much harder than we ever thought it would be.

Our oldest son was brain injured in a car accident at 18. One son has been in a car accident at 16 and had multiple surgeries on his legs with lots of plates and screws, then had them all removed a year later. He later became a heroin addict and now lives on the street after multiple stints at rehab which were gut wrenching as well as expensive. There have been other difficulties as well. That said, I adore all of them and wouldn't trade a minute of the life we have had. God is good and our faith has sustained us. It is just that I never ever imagined this. We have devoted our lives to our children and really still do. They are a blessing and we have awesome memories.

My number 4 son graduated from UCLA this past year, Summa Cum Laude, and next week is off to Peru to teach english for a year before coming home to work on his PhD. My youngest is a sophomore and is on the varsity football team and loves it. All the boys played hockey when they were younger and those were some of my favorite memories. I loved standing on the side lines and watching all of their accomplishment, and there have been many.

I guess, in life, you always accept the good with the difficult. There certainly has been a lot of both, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

 

[Laila619]

Our oldest son was brain injured in a car accident at 18. One son has been in a car accident at 16 and had multiple surgeries on his legs with lots of plates and screws, then had them all removed a year later. He later became a heroin addict and now lives on the street after multiple stints at rehab which were gut wrenching as well as expensive. There have been other difficulties as well. That said, I adore all of them and wouldn't trade a minute of the life we have had. God is good and our faith has sustained us. It is just that I never ever imagined this. We have devoted our lives to our children and really still do. They are a blessing and we have awesome memories.

Oh gosh, I'm sorry luv2sparkle. How is your oldest son doing?

 

[Begonia]

Ah jeez YayT, I'm sorry to hear about your loss...

Reproductive knowledge has come a long way since your Aunt had her difficulties. Do not be afraid to go to the doctor please. Often it is a fairly simple fix.

Most of my friends have had miscarriages, as painful as they are...quite common. All have gone on to have two or more children!

 

[Begonia]

I have two boys...one 14 and one 10.

They are, as we speak, attempting to eat all of the food in the house.

Remember the days before kids when a loaf of bread, carton of milk and 6 eggs would last the week...

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I actually have a very similar story to Maisie. We have five children, the oldest is 30, a daughter. We then had four boys, the youngest being 16. He was actually a twin pregnancy, but I lost one about three months along. I had my first four before I was thirty and the youngest at 36. We started young thinking that we would have time to do the things we wanted to when they were grown. It hasn't quite worked out that way. Raising kids has been much harder than we ever thought it would be.

Our oldest son was brain injured in a car accident at 18. One son has been in a car accident at 16 and had multiple surgeries on his legs with lots of plates and screws, then had them all removed a year later. He later became a heroin addict and now lives on the street after multiple stints at rehab which were gut wrenching as well as expensive. There have been other difficulties as well. That said, I adore all of them and wouldn't trade a minute of the life we have had. God is good and our faith has sustained us. It is just that I never ever imagined this. We have devoted our lives to our children and really still do. They are a blessing and we have awesome memories.

My number 4 son graduated from UCLA this past year, Summa Cum Laude, and next week is off to Peru to teach english for a year before coming home to work on his PhD. My youngest is a sophomore and is on the varsity football team and loves it. All the boys played hockey when they were younger and those were some of my favorite memories. I loved standing on the side lines and watching all of their accomplishment, and there have been many.

I guess, in life, you always accept the good with the difficult. There certainly has been a lot of both, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

{{{hugs}}} I will also agree with your statement, ""God is good and our faith has sustained us." And, "I guess, in life, you always accept the good with the difficult. There certainly has been a lot of both, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it."

Similar ages of kids except we have 3. Son 30 (with multiple problems), daughter 27 (happily married, teacher, has a baby girl!), and daughter 17 (a joy from day 1, adopted from China when she was 6 months old)

There have been some difficult days that I wish I could eliminate, but I deeply love my children and being a mother is the most important job in the world. I wanted to adopt more children after adopting our daughter in China, but my husband felt it was late to be doing so since we had a teenager and college coming up. And I eventually gave that up since I didn't want to twist my husband's arm. Now I have a beautiful 1 year old granddaughter to love and spoil! We are very blessed!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

YayTacori..I am also so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I also lost our first but had no problems with the next two pregnanices. In case you didn't know, there is a thread in Family, Home, and Health on pregnancy loss. It is a good place to talk about it to people who understand.

 

[texaskj]

I have two boys...one 14 and one 10.

They are, as we speak, attempting to eat all of the food in the house.

Remember the days before kids when a loaf of bread, carton of milk and 6 eggs would last the week...

SO said at that age all he and his friends cared about was sleeping and eating and eating and eating.
He thought girls had cooties until he was 17!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I have two- a daughter who's 4.5 and a son who's 2.5. Our daughter joined us through adoption, which went smoothly and fairly quickly. Our son was, to me, an unwelcomed surprise at first. I had just decided I was one and done and then 3 days later, found out I was pregnant. Our daughter had only been home for 3 months when I got pregnant and so we became parents for the 2nd time 367 days after we brought child #1 home. It was a difficult time for us because I had a lot of conflicted and negative feelings having a bio child so soon after adopting one, and once #2 was born, it was hard because we were navigating a newborn stage for the first time while dealing with a toddler. I also wanted a daughter and was disappointed to find it was a boy.

Now cliched as it is, I can't imagine life without our son. My kids have totally different personalities (and even body types- she's short and heavier and he's tall and skinny) and it's definitely been a challenge to learn to parent two very different kids, but it really has been a blessing.

We are very done with having kids for many reasons- we both work fulltime with long and tiring commutes. Our son still has sleeping issues and I can't imagine going through sleepless nights again at our ages. We'd need to decide if adopting again (expensive) or having a bio child would be better for our family and both our children, and I'm not sure that's a decision I'm prepared to make.

So, it's two and through for us, save another surprise. Having said all that, I can definitely remember the child-free days where we slept in until 9 or 10 and the biggest decision was where to eat for lunch. And the trips we took! I could have been happy without kids too- either way, with or without, you miss out on something.

 

[NOYFB]

We are child free by choice. I knew at age 14 that I did not want children.

 

[Sha]

I have 1 - always saw myself having 3 growing up (my parents had 3 of us). I've settled on 2 children now (being that I'm older, 36 and DH doesn't want 3) and am trying for #2 now.

 

[qtiekiki]

I have two. I wanted 2-4 kids growing up. We are done with 2. I don't think I have the patience for more than 2, and we would like to be able to provide them with the best opportunities that we can.

 

[manderz]

We don't have any. Though we just got married, we've been together for 10 years. We are both not interested in children at this point. He would like to have kids in an abstract way, a la "I think it would be cool to take my son to little league". I think that I don't want to physically bear a child, and I'm not ready for the responsibility when we both have so much more work to do to get our careers to where we'd like to be.

 

[rubybeth]

Also childfree. DH would be okay with having kids if I change my mind, but I don't foresee that happening. I'll be 32 in a few months, and he just turned 31.

 

[amc80]

Haven, I could have posted exactly what you wrote. DH and I both dream of a large family. He's an only child, I have one brother. It's very likely that our son (4 months) will have zero first cousins. My family is small (four first cousins, total); DH's is slightly larger, but still on the small side. We both want 3-4 kids.

Well, we wanted 3-4 kids. Now that #1 is here, I'm not sure. I love the idea of a large family, but I also love the idea of sleep and disposable income. I'm sure we will have at least two (we already have plans to start on that about a year from now, so they would be two years apart), but I'm not sure after that. If I could stay home and money wasn't an issue, we'd definitely have 3-4. We do know that we can't afford more than one in daycare, so we will have to figure something out before #2 comes along. Most likely, DH will be a stay at home dad.

 

[Kunzite]

Our plan was to have two unless they were the same sex, then up to three. In reality I was doubtful we'd have two after my first was born, I was happy to be one and done. Agreed to a second and ended up with twins. So we had three under two

 

[lisaC]

I have 3 boys- 20, 12 and 7. People ask if they have the same dad- yep they do...
Lisa

 

[armywife13]

(((Hugs))) YT, I am so sorry for your loss.

DH(32) and I(24) have 2 kids in our family so far, his daughter/my stepdaughter who is 11 and our daughter together who is 2. We are also currently pregnant with our second child together. I think we will be done after this one, we want to be able to provide financially for them and still be able to live comfortably- for us, that means stopping at 3. Who knows though, circumstances may change in the future and we may have another.

 

[CharmedOne]

We have two boys 17 and 4. I was happy with one and didn't plan on having anymore kids. When my oldest was 9, he wanted a sibling and my husband wanted to have another child. I wasn't on board at first but he was in the academy and missed out on a lot of moments with our oldest. So I agreed. It was a long road. We tried for two years and nothing. Finally I decided to get test and found out a fibroid was the problem. I had surgery and we got PG a year later. Everything was going great and then at 5 months, they did a sono and said the baby stopped growing at three months. I was told that his organs were failing and that he was dying. I went for second and third opinions and was told the same thing. I was told that I should not continue with the pregnancy and that having the baby die inside me was not something they would advise.

It was the hardest decision I have ever made. After a week almost two actually, they checked the baby and it wasn't good. So I decided to let them take him. Because I was five months pregnant they said I had to give birth to him and I didn't think I could do that. At three months they could take him, after that you have to give birth but because he stopped growing both options were available. My oldest son who is deeply religious, was part of all the decision making. He wanted to be there through it all. He prayed with me and held my hand through all the pre op. When it was over, he was the first person I saw when I woke up. I thank god for him and I don't think I could have made it through without him.

My DS and DH still wanted me to try again. He really wanted a sibling, so I did. I had my youngest on April fools day and he has kept us laughing with his antics ever since. He is autistic and I have fibromyalgia, so at times it can be difficult but I have never regretted my decision. After I had him, I knew that was it but my doctor refused to tie my tubes. He said to wait and make sure he survived his first year. He did and he is now 4 going on 5. I have always been anemic and had a hysterectomy when he was 2. My family is complete and we are very happy.

 

[Puppmom]

I'm pregnant with my third. We have a 17yo daughter and a 2yo son. If not for the large gap between the first two, we probably wouldn't have tried for a third.

YayTacori, I'm very sorry for your miscarriage. I had a miscarriage a little over a year ago and we didn't tell anyone either. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I just didn't want to talk about it. At the time I think there was a little bit of shame associated with it too. Not having anyone to talk to about it did make me feel very alone at times though.

 

[stephbolt]

We have a six month old daughter. We'd like to have at least two, and may try for a third if the second is another girl. But for now we are happy to enjoy our one.

 

[DNB]

We have two boys, 29 and 26. Best thing I ever did was having my boys in my 20's. We now look back and wish we'd had one more.

 

[AprilBaby]

Four, son 29, son 27, daughter 25 and son 22. No one on the payroll anymore!

 

[monarch64]

We have one 7 month old daughter so far. If age and money were not factors we were short on, we would have as many as we could! Neither of us had any idea how awesome babies are. We have discussed trying for another this spring; I am not sure that will happen but it would be nice.