How long before I bring it up?

[NakedFinger]

Ladies- Ok so like 2 months ago when I knew my ring was done, I had posted a question with how long it was from your bf getting the ring, to proposing, because I had seen a lot of posts at the time with girls saying “he’s had the ring for 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, etc” and some even were talking about it being a YEAR since he brought the ring!

The answers were mixed, some said he did it immediately, and some said it was quite a long time. Well I must have jinxed myself when I said “He will be getting the ring soon, and I hope he doesn’t wait too long, I’ll kill him!” (or something along those lines), because he’s had the ring for 2 months now and nothing yet!

So my question is, if you knew he had the ring already and he wasn’t doing it, how much time did you let pass before you brought it up, asked him about it, or flipped the &*$% out!!???

I know two months isn’t that long compared to how long some ladies waited, and I have tried not bringing it up because I don’t want to blow up his spot if he is working on things, but knowing the ring is hiding IN OUR HOME is driving me bonkers! LOL Our anniversary was yesterday, so I thought maybe thats what he was waiting for, but he didnt do it. How long should I wait before mentioning that I am going crazy???

 

[CurlySue]

This is a potentially stupid question, but does he know you know he has it??

 

[NakedFinger]

Lol no its not stupid. My bad for assuming every single person on here has read my back story! LOL whoops

We did a custom ring and designed it together. And he told me the day the jeweler called and said it was finished and he could pick it up. So I know for a fact he has had in in his possession since 3/29.

 

[jcarlylew]

ouch. i would say if nothing after 4 months?

 

[Lauren8211]

Since he knows you know... he knows that you're expecting it.

He is probably planning something!

If it's really bugging you, you may just want to say "Hey, the ball is still rolling, right?" just to make sure he's still on track, but not ruin his plan or whine or any of that fun stuff.

 

[Bia]

FI held on to the ring for almost 3 months before proposing. A part of me wishes I''d been in your shoes--knowing he had it, just not knowing when--because maybe I wouldn''t have been a wreck (I started having doubts the last couple of months, thinking he was getting cold feet, which was ridiculous on my part

).

If you want my honest opinion, DON''T say anything. He''s going to propose, so please don''t change the plans he may have already made. It''s coming. Try and be patient.

I, for one, CANNOT WAIT to see your ring!

 

[fieryred33143]

I freaked out too if I''m going to be honest so I''m going to be a total hypocrite here

*Most* men won''t spend thousands on a ring only to not propose. Yes, there have been exceptions but generally speaking they won''t do it.

So...the proposal is coming. He hasn''t changed his mind (if he did, I think on some level you would know). It is going to happen. He''s probably planning a special proposal and bringing it up could potentially ruin it (as I did with my proposal).

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:48:08 PM
Author: fiery
I freaked out too if I''m going to be honest so I''m going to be a total hypocrite here

*Most* men won''t spend thousands on a ring only to not propose. Yes, there have been exceptions but generally speaking they won''t do it.

So...the proposal is coming. He hasn''t changed his mind (if he did, I think on some level you would know). It is going to happen. He''s probably planning a special proposal and bringing it up could potentially ruin it (as I did with my proposal).

I think that is your god-given right as an LIW graduate!

Gotta head back here and smack some sense and logic into the panicked mass that is LIW.

 

[Lilac]

If you know he has the ring, he''s probably planning something already. I wouldn''t say anything because you don''t want to take the chance on ruining his plans. If he waits another 2 or 3 months then maybe casually mention it, but until then, I think you should just keep thinking about how exciting it is that he''s probably planning something as we speak!

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:42:22 PM
Author: Bia
FI held on to the ring for almost 3 months before proposing. A part of me wishes I''d been in your shoes--knowing he had it, just not knowing when--because maybe I wouldn''t have been a wreck (I started having doubts the last couple of months, thinking he was getting cold feet, which was ridiculous on my part

).

If you want my honest opinion, DON''T say anything. He''s going to propose, so please don''t change the plans he may have already made. It''s coming. Try and be patient.

I, for one, CANNOT WAIT to see your ring!

That''s easier said than done. I don''t think I could stand the suspense

 

[purrfectpear]

I''d probably wait until after Labor Day before I asked what was up.

 

[CurlySue]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:58:22 PM
Author: Lilac
If you know he has the ring, he''s probably planning something already. I wouldn''t say anything because you don''t want to take the chance on ruining his plans. If he waits another 2 or 3 months then maybe casually mention it, but until then, I think you should just keep thinking about how exciting it is that he''s probably planning something as we speak!

Ditto.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:48:08 PM
Author: fiery
I freaked out too if I''m going to be honest so I''m going to be a total hypocrite here

*Most* men won''t spend thousands on a ring only to not propose. Yes, there have been exceptions but generally speaking they won''t do it.

So...the proposal is coming. He hasn''t changed his mind (if he did, I think on some level you would know). It is going to happen. He''s probably planning a special proposal and bringing it up could potentially ruin it (as I did with my proposal).

Oh jeesh! I hadnt even thought it was because he was having doubts, changed his mind, or getting cold feet! LOL I am more just stressing that he''s slacking off or taking his sweet ''ol time and not realizing the permanent physiological damage it is causing me!

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:42:22 PM
Author: Bia
FI held on to the ring for almost 3 months before proposing. A part of me wishes I''d been in your shoes--knowing he had it, just not knowing when--because maybe I wouldn''t have been a wreck (I started having doubts the last couple of months, thinking he was getting cold feet, which was ridiculous on my part

).

If you want my honest opinion, DON''T say anything. He''s going to propose, so please don''t change the plans he may have already made. It''s coming. Try and be patient.

I, for one, CANNOT WAIT to see your ring!

Thanks babe! I cant wait to SHOW it to you!!!

 

[princesss]

Chiming in late, but I have to say I hate knowing a gift is coming and having to wait for it. I hate waiting a few hours for news so that BF can tell me face-to-face. I'm possibly the world's most impatient person.

And I still say don't say anything.

That said, I might tease him afterwards. "Do you KNOW what kind of torture you put me through? Just wait, I'm going to find something you want, hide it, and wait. Juuuuuuuuust wait. Maybe you'll get it, maybe you won't. And the day you break down and say, 'Okay, the game's over. Where is it?' I'll push back the date I give it to you by another MONTH!" Okay, I wouldn't say it. But it'd be fun, right?

ETA: I do this to BF over silly gifts. And when he hides candy. And when he put off getting a puppy for a few months, lol.

 

[16ocean]

Date: 6/2/2009 2:09:35 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I''d probably wait until after Labor Day before I asked what was up.

ditto

The summer is a PERFECT time to purpose . . . . . . sending some engagement dust- dust- dust your way!

 

[NicaK]

I agree with waiting until Labor Day. My BF got my ring two weeks and I''m going so crazy! He likes to show me box whenever we hang out. Just hang in there(myself included). When he finally does you will be so happy that you''ll forget how long you waited! Good Luck!

 

[ladypirate]

It was here for 5 months before FI proposed. I ribbed him about it a little bit but mostly let him take his time--I''d say cut him some slack.

 

[bee*]

I think about 4 months would be my cut off time and I would say something. D waited three months and I was actually quite relaxed during that time as he said that he was planning something, which he was. But I think if he''d gone into another month I would have felt a bit anxious.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Since you actually helped design the ring, if he knows you know he has it, say something! I don''t understand the big production with proposals when a couple lives together, plans the ring together, and then he makes her wait while he wracks his brain trying to come up with the most romantic, "spontaneous" proposal. You both know it''s coming, just freaking do it already!!!

No, I''m not patient.

Okay, wait til after the 4th of July. That''s a Saturday this year. If nothing by that Monday, ask him straight out "I know you got the ring from the jeweler''s, and I was wondering why it''s taking so long for you to propose."

 

[lowphat]

DON''T SAY ANYTHING about it. EVER. Every guy wants to feel like he''s the most romantic person his girlfriend has ever met. Since you guys picked and designed the ring together, that part of the surprise isn''t there. The only thing he has left now is to make the actual proposal as romantic and special and something you want to brag to all your friends about, as he can.

Let him take his time and plan it out. He''s planning something. It might take a few more weeks or a few more months, but don''t ask him about it. Let him do his thing and just wait.

 

[audball]

Date: 6/3/2009 11:05:44 AM
Author: lowphat
DON''T SAY ANYTHING about it. EVER. Every guy wants to feel like he''s the most romantic person his girlfriend has ever met. Since you guys picked and designed the ring together, that part of the surprise isn''t there. The only thing he has left now is to make the actual proposal as romantic and special and something you want to brag to all your friends about, as he can.

Let him take his time and plan it out. He''s planning something. It might take a few more weeks or a few more months, but don''t ask him about it. Let him do his thing and just wait.

Gotta give this a +1. You KNOW he has the ring, you KNOW you LOVE the ring, you know everything there is to know except when/how it''s coming. Leave him to it. Sure, if a year goes by and nothing, maybe mention it, but otherwise leave him be, it will happen, no guy spends that kind of money for nothing. You guys just bought a house, yes? For all you know he wants to make the proposal a great first memory in the house or something, like Thanksgiving or even Christmas. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to mention it other than maybe how Elle suggested and simply ask him that something is in the works or he has some conception of what he plans to do, but nothing more than that.

 

[suchende]

My BFF just got engaged, he had the ring over a year. They had some issues, plus he waited an additional 6 months for their vacation to Europe so he could do it there.

 

[ckrickett]

WAIT, unless in hits the year mark. Maybe he wants it to be a total suprise and wants to wait till it is out of your mind. (of course he isn;t a LIW so he has NO clue HOW we think

)
BUT let him plan it , chill you know its coming and you know you will love it!!! let him suprise you.

if its an extremely long time (not in LIW time, but in the rest of the worlds time) say something, Like Elle said, just toss alittle comment in and see what he says!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 6/4/2009 8:55:19 AM
Author: ckrickett


if its an extremely long time (not in LIW time, but in the rest of the worlds time)

i just lol''d at that comment.. so is that saying guy time is actually world''s time? SHHHHHHHHHHHHH DO NOT TELL ANY MALE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:40:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Since he knows you know... he knows that you''re expecting it.

He is probably planning something!

If it''s really bugging you, you may just want to say ''Hey, the ball is still rolling, right?'' just to make sure he''s still on track, but not ruin his plan or whine or any of that fun stuff.

I kinda did something like this last night. I said "Hey you didnt forget the ring was here did you?" and he goes "Nope. I pass by it every once in awhile...". LOL

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 6/4/2009 11:39:11 AM
Author: NakedFinger

Date: 6/2/2009 1:40:52 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Since he knows you know... he knows that you''re expecting it.

He is probably planning something!

If it''s really bugging you, you may just want to say ''Hey, the ball is still rolling, right?'' just to make sure he''s still on track, but not ruin his plan or whine or any of that fun stuff.

I kinda did something like this last night. I said ''Hey you didnt forget the ring was here did you?'' and he goes ''Nope. I pass by it every once in awhile...''. LOL

LOL

Sometimes they do need a little poke!

 

[tlh]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:48:08 PM
Author: fiery
I freaked out too if I''m going to be honest so I''m going to be a total hypocrite here

*Most* men won''t spend thousands on a ring only to not propose. Yes, there have been exceptions but generally speaking they won''t do it.

So...the proposal is coming. He hasn''t changed his mind (if he did, I think on some level you would know). It is going to happen. He''s probably planning a special proposal and bringing it up could potentially ruin it (as I did with my proposal).

yup. spot on.

 

[ellie424]

I probably wouldn''t say anything until it got to at least 6 months or so. He is probably planning something..and he probably wants to surprise you when you least expect it. I''m sending tons of **dust** your way!!!!

 

[pannini]

Date: 6/2/2009 1:35:32 PM
Author: NakedFinger
Lol no its not stupid. My bad for assuming every single person on here has read my back story! LOL whoops

We did a custom ring and designed it together. And he told me the day the jeweler called and said it was finished and he could pick it up. So I know for a fact he has had in in his possession since 3/29.

I haven''t read the other responses, but I think I''d go crazy too if I knew it was there after the both of us designed a custom ring! We''re waiting for ours to be done and if I knew it was done and in our house, I''d freak out!

Sending you good thoughts and hoping you get to have your beauty on your finger.