How Has Your SO Changed You? How Have You Changed Them?

[iLander]

Are you different now than you were when you first met your SO? Has your SO affected your personality, your outlook? Big things, or little things? Do you like or dislike these changes? How have you changed your SO?

My DH has cautioned me to be a little less open when meeting new people. I fought this tooth and nail, but over the years he's been right so many times (like the neighbor who told me she dreamed of killing me and stuffing me in a bag like the girl on Twin Peaks. She also wanted to take over my house and husband ) that I'm starting to see his point! I approach people more slowly now.

He's also told me that while he appreciates my bluntness and honesty, not many people do. He understands that "that is an ugly shirt", is strictly a comment on the shirt, but it might hurt other people's feelings. I have toned that down a lot, since I never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

He has made me a lot more confident. His confident "Sure you can", has led me to do new stuff I would have been afraid of.

I have taught him to be a bit more open and that not everyone has ulterior motives. He's a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker, so I am still working on that one. I think I keep him cheered up, since he seems to get down pretty easily, mostly about the state of the world/humanity/poverty, that kind of thing.

Little things: I used to hate cheese. Now I like it, and I asked for a cheesemaking kit for Xmas. He hated mushrooms. I've seen him eat a couple. . .

 

[Miss Sparkly]

A cheesemaking kit? That sounds like fun I looovve cheese with a good beer (nope, no crackers). Lets see, I helped DH to grow up and he's become a wonderful man. Ladies, that's what happens when you marry a momma's boy. He's helped me to relax, enjoy time at home and introduced me to gaming systmes. We have a PS3, Wii and full blown gaming computer. I'm so hooked now I taught him to wear black socks when he has on black pants and shoes and he's taught me that sometimes it's okay to be a few minutes late when going somewhere. We started out as the worst pair in the world and have grown together in our short five years quite well.

ETA: I like your bluntness and honesty. I always tell people that if I were a guy my bluntness and honesty wouldn't be considered rude.

 

[iLander]

A cheesemaking kit? That sounds like fun

Here you go: http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/cheesemaking-kit

 

[Autumnovember]

How I've changed: I've learned to be a lot more laid back and that has resulted in me being a lot less stubborn. He has also helped me a less sensitive person. I don't get mad and upset about the things that would have upset me years ago. I don't let the little things bother me. I'm generally a much less angry person now. I used to think everyone was out to get me and everything was about loyalty to me. Now, after having been with SO for quite some time, he has taught me that not everyone is going to be loyal, including my friends. It has set me up for a lot less expectations from people and in turn, a lot less disappointment in my life.

How he has changed: I think the biggest thing that comes to mind is the fact that he has learned to love. Yup, love. I don't think he ever really knew how to truly love an individual as he had parents that didn't know the proper way of teaching him that. He's allowed himself to be more expressive with his emotions. Aside from that, I think he has learned to look at situations through different perspectives.

 

[radiantquest]

I cant imagine life without DH. Honestly, he has made me who I am today. My parents never taught me to be ambitious and to go after the things you want in life. He has caused me to grow up and be an adult and be a productive member of society. Not that I was all that bad before, its just that I was content with just allowing life to happen to me. I am much happier now.

I have changed DH in many more ways, but not as profoundly as he has changed me. He was a very cold person in the beginning and a little stuck up too. I explained that it is ok for his undershirt to be made by Hanes. Not everything has to be a "label". No one cares who makes his socks and it doesn't make him a better person if all his clothes are overly expensive. He would never say "bless you" when I sneezed. He is now very loving, respectful and rather charming I have to say. I am sure that most of this is really all him just finally coming out. He just needed to realize that it was ok to allow someone else in.

It was hard work in the beginning. I remember wishing on those wishy flowers that he would love me. Now we are perfect for each other. We are each others best friend.

 

[reader]

He used to be very fearful of touch and didn't talk much. I used to be very self destructive.

 

[Pandora II]

We are both truly happy for the first time in our lives and we make each other more confident.

I'm still working on his wardrobe, but have fixed the hair! He's still attempting to separate me from my polonecks...

 

[elrohwen]

I got DH to like onions. The crazy man thought he didn't like them, but I kept putting them in everything and now he loves them as much as I do.

I don't think we've changed each other's personalities much. We do push each other - I push him to go out and be more social when he'd rather be lazy and hang out at home. He pushes me to exercise (occasionally). But neither of us have made a permanent personality change in the other I don't think - probably because we were so similar to start!

 

[allycat0303]

I make more of an effort in social situations. There's nothing that I hate more the *small talk* I have a hard time feeling comfortable around strangers. My husband is an extrovert. He's the type of person that will join a hockey team, where he knows no one on the team. Since he often socializes, I've made an effort to be more open and friendly with acquaintances.

He's also helped me get on a plane. Trust me, it's one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. I needed to be heavily medicated for the plane ride, but at least I can say I've been places.

As for changes in him: he's more ambitious. It's not a natural state for him. He's a simple guy, and would rather enjoy life. He's become more driven because of me.

 

[that_someone_special]

He hated mushrooms. I love them. He now eats mushrooms.

I think he's helped me relax and be comfortable in the person I am. Maybe too much. Those fat pants aren't getting any looser.

 

[Imdanny]

I'm afraid that story would be pornographic and this is a family site.