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How do you say happy birthday when you completely forgot?

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fieryred33143

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It is sort of an unspoken rule in my FI''s family that I am the keeper of all important dates. I remind my FI and his brother of their parent''s birthdays, mother''s/father''s day, and their wedding anniversary. I''ve tried putting it on their calendar on their phone, telling them a week early, but nothing works. So usually on the day of the event, I''ll remind them both. I know it sounds really silly but I learned a long time ago not to set them up for failure. They just do not remember things


Well, this year I completely forgot his mom''s birthday
. They were in Chile during the time and I guess it was an out of sight, out of mind moment for me. It wasn''t until yesterday when we were talking about my mom''s birthday (which is today) that I went crap! We forgot your mom''s birthday!!

It was on the 16th. We are now in April. I feel so terrible. She hasn''t mentioned it at all. I want to tell her that we''re sorry we forgot and maybe take her to dinner but do you think that at this point, we should just let it go? Would you feel bad if someone forgot your birthday and nearly 2 weeks later they remembered and try to make it up to you?
 

Ellen

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Jan 13, 2006
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Date: 4/1/2009 8:53:09 AM
Author:fieryred33143
It is sort of an unspoken rule in my FI''s family that I am the keeper of all important dates. I remind my FI and his brother of their parent''s birthdays, mother''s/father''s day, and their wedding anniversary. I''ve tried putting it on their calendar on their phone, telling them a week early, but nothing works. So usually on the day of the event, I''ll remind them both. I know it sounds really silly but I learned a long time ago not to set them up for failure. They just do not remember things


Well, this year I completely forgot his mom''s birthday
. They were in Chile during the time and I guess it was an out of sight, out of mind moment for me. It wasn''t until yesterday when we were talking about my mom''s birthday (which is today) that I went crap! We forgot your mom''s birthday!!

It was on the 16th. We are now in April. I feel so terrible. She hasn''t mentioned it at all. I want to tell her that we''re sorry we forgot and maybe take her to dinner but do you think that at this point, we should just let it go? Would you feel bad if someone forgot your birthday and nearly 2 weeks later they remembered and try to make it up to you?
If it was one of my kids, I''d rather they finally tell me what was going on, than never say anything. I think you should tell her just what you told us. She was gone, and it just got away from you, both. I would not take all the blame, after all, it is his mother.
And I would definitely take her out to dinner.
 

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I would definitely come clean and say you forgot. I would say its because she was away on her birthday. Then I would take her out.

Pretty much what Ellen just said
 

geckodani

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2008
Messages
8,896
Yup yup.

I''ve done that - and basically said something along the lines of, "I''m a dork and completely forgot. May I take you out for a belated celbration."
 

jcarlylew

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3,899
Date: 4/1/2009 8:59:09 AM
Author: Ellen
Date: 4/1/2009 8:53:09 AM

Author:fieryred33143

It is sort of an unspoken rule in my FI''s family that I am the keeper of all important dates. I remind my FI and his brother of their parent''s birthdays, mother''s/father''s day, and their wedding anniversary. I''ve tried putting it on their calendar on their phone, telling them a week early, but nothing works. So usually on the day of the event, I''ll remind them both. I know it sounds really silly but I learned a long time ago not to set them up for failure. They just do not remember things



Well, this year I completely forgot his mom''s birthday
. They were in Chile during the time and I guess it was an out of sight, out of mind moment for me. It wasn''t until yesterday when we were talking about my mom''s birthday (which is today) that I went crap! We forgot your mom''s birthday!!


It was on the 16th. We are now in April. I feel so terrible. She hasn''t mentioned it at all. I want to tell her that we''re sorry we forgot and maybe take her to dinner but do you think that at this point, we should just let it go? Would you feel bad if someone forgot your birthday and nearly 2 weeks later they remembered and try to make it up to you?
If it was one of my kids, I''d rather they finally tell me what was going on, than never say anything. I think you should tell her just what you told us. She was gone, and it just got away from you, both. I would not take all the blame, after all, it is his mother.
And I would definitely take her out to dinner.
ditto! i am sure she will understand, and appreciate that you are sincere!
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I wouldnt tell her that her own son''s cannot remember her birthday.... like you told us. But I would say that you are terribly sorry that you forgot - since she was away over her birthday, and offer to take her out to a belated birthday dinner.
 

fieryred33143

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
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6,689
Thanks


The messed up part is that she had mentioned when she got back (and we were picking up goodies
) that they had a huge party while they were there and she showed us the pictures. Now that I think back, it was a birthday party for her!
 

neatfreak

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Feb 17, 2007
Messages
14,167
Ditto Ellen! Make your FI take some responsibility too-it is his mom!
 

steph72276

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
4,212
I would just have him call his mom and say something along the lines of "since you guys were out of town on your birthday, may we take you out for a belated celebration" and just leave it at that without mentioning that you guys forgot.
 

LaraOnline

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Feb 24, 2008
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Date: 4/1/2009 9:44:24 AM
Author: steph72276
I would just have him call his mom and say something along the lines of ''since you guys were out of town on your birthday, may we take you out for a belated celebration'' and just leave it at that without mentioning that you guys forgot.
Second this. Perhaps I''m just not a birthday person, but I wouldn''t lie awake nights over it. It''s his mum, he probably got as far as realising that he couldn''t call her on the day...and then forgot about it when she got back! Men!
 

movie zombie

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Jan 20, 2005
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11,879
out of country, out of mind: apologize and make arrangements to do something special.

mz
 

elrohwen

Ideal_Rock
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5,526
I would tell her the truth and offer to take her out for dinner. I think that's better than letting it go. I'm sure she'll understand.

ETA: If your FI is that bad at remembering her bday, I'm sure she's used to belated birthday wishes at this point
 

AdiS

Brilliant_Rock
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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
1,337
We have an old Bulgarian saying-something like an apology when you forget to do something-congratulate someone, or forget to do something for them, etc.: "May all evil forget about you just like I have forgotten!" It usually works! lol
 
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