How do you find your diamond-peace with the beautiful yet less than super-ideal stones in your life?

[Lpsl]

Reconciling perfection: perfect vs perfect-for-us…l



How do you all reconcile the endless availability of diamond perfection (and perhaps perfectionism) with the beautiful-yet perhaps not supermodel-perfect diamonds in your life?



I mean- there are supermodels, and there are endless depths of unique, non-super ideal beauty in the world. The human part of this is easy- most of us are not nor do we care about or strive to be supermodels. Unique and humane and good and kind are goals.



I am struggling a bit when it comes to diamonds. We *can* have perfection if we want it and know how to find it- at pretty much any price point. Perfection is accessible to those in the know.



How do you find your peace with your [diamond] piece(s) - in their uniquely beautiful and special-to-you imperfection?



I love love love the community here- transparency, respect, generous (selfless?) sharing of wit, wonder, and wisdom, guiding us all toward the best diamond value for our hard-earned dollars.



Like many here, I found PriceScope too late to inform the big purchase of our natural mined stone and engagement ring.



Like many here, we naively thought GIA ideal meant ideal - and that the playing field (shopping field) was level. We knew nothing of steep deeps, fluorescence, sub-optimal proportions, or how to judge the nuances of light performance.



We knew nothing of ASET scopes or other light performance images. The Whiteflash website was so over the top - disturbingly flashy and overwhelming to newbies, compared to the more approachable BN and JA.



Our first diamond was a dog. In trying to figure out why, I learned *a little bit* after stumbling on DiamDB… enough to understand that our ‘ideal’ cut D-color VVS1 diamond was a steep-deep with fluorescence that did make it very milky in natural sunlight.



We exchanged for a different stone, which we have to this day. I used some proportion ranges in selection this time, yet still knew nothing off the sweet spots for table percentage, crown angle or pavilion angle alone, let alone the importance of different combinations of these. We knew nothing of super-ideals —- I mean wasn’t ideal supposed to be exactly that?



My husband is an engineer who -had he known- would have wound up with WF ACA or Jann Paul Decagon- the most perfect of perfect within our budget.



Yet we didn’t know. I have learned more and opted against tormenting him with this info. We are past the engagement, new diamond, and newlywed stage (well, relatively: our second anniversary is coming up this winter). We’ve moved way past thinking about diamonds…. eixcept for the time I spend here- reading more, learning more, gaping at all the super-ideal and/or antique beauty of PSers jewels.



We all understand that there will always be a bigger better, more perfect stone. My question for folks in this forum is… how do you stop the madness for yourselves and love what you have?



My stone is 1.51, GIA Ideal/ Ex/Ex. Color I, VVS2. She is a sparkler that draws attention wherever we go. She falls within GIA Excellent and AGS 0 range in that color-coded overlap grid on HCA. She does not have ideal proportions- she’s HCA 3.7 and “probably sparkles and looks a good size for her carat weight” [ she does, on both counts], with very good light return and very good spread.



She has been with us through a COVID romance and marriage, transcontinental relocation, new homes and old and new friends, and an amazing life we could not have imagined before March 2020.



I stare at her often and am finding my peace in loving our uniquely beautiful yet imperfect stone.



[fair warning, I am also a longtime TPFer, which is where I discovered PriceScope. There’s more than a little overlap between these communities.]



I am interested in your stories and your journeys! How do you all find your peace?

 

[MissGotRocks]

You could attempt to sell your current diamond and start over with a super ideal or ….

reread everything you have written about your diamond. How you got to where you are with it, how it is always complimented, how you don’t want to start over.

PS and the information gleaned here is both a blessing and a curse at times. Knowing that something isn’t perfect - particularly if you loved it in the beginning - is information that you either discard from your mind or let it eat away at you.

There are other pieces of jewelry to own. You might consider a super ideal cut eternity band or a lovely super ideal cut diamond pendant.

I feel for you as I have been where you are - hugs! It bothered me enough or probably more to the point, was important enough to me to make a change. I know that isn’t always possible but it could be a goal - if you can’t shake this out of your head. I would encourage you to talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. He may or may not be receptive but at least he will know how you feel.

Your current ring sounds lovely though so I would think long and hard about what you truly hope to do. Keeping it as a pendant stone for sentimental reasons is always an option too. A 1.5 carat diamond is nothing to sneeze at and I am sure you are grateful to have it. Life can be full of twists and turns and opportunities so if this won’t go away, maybe try to start a fund to add to as funds are available. In the meanwhile, appreciate all the beauty you see in your current ring. These feelings may all pass by one day to give you some peace of mind.

 

[Lpsl]

You could attempt to sell your current diamond and start over with a super ideal or ….

reread everything you have written about your diamond. How you got to where you are with it, how it is always complimented, how you don’t want to start over.

PS and the information gleaned here is both a blessing and a curse at times. Knowing that something isn’t perfect - particularly if you loved it in the beginning - is information that you either discard from your mind or let it eat away at you.

There are other pieces of jewelry to own. You might consider a super ideal cut eternity band or a lovely super ideal cut diamond pendant.

I feel for you as I have been where you are - hugs! It bothered me enough or probably more to the point, was important enough to me to make a change. I know that isn’t always possible but it could be a goal - if you can’t shake this out of your head. I would encourage you to talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling. He may or may not be receptive but at least he will know how you feel.

Your current ring sounds lovely though so I would think long and hard about what you truly hope to do. Keeping it as a pendant stone for sentimental reasons is always an option too. A 1.5 carat diamond is nothing to sneeze at and I am sure you are grateful to have it. Life can be full of twists and turns and opportunities so if this won’t go away, maybe try to start a fund to add to as funds are available. In the meanwhile, appreciate all the beauty you see in your current ring. These feelings may all pass by one day to give you some peace of mind.

Thank you, MissGotRocks!

I was working this out in my head as I was writing - your wise words are very insightful. Thinking it through as I typed made me wonder how others navigate this, hence… the thread.

Thanks for taking time to read and respond with your very kind words!

 

[oldminer]

You should approach perfection or the slight modifications from perfection just the same way you handle your own perfection and the perfection of others close to you. If everyone was virtually similar and "perfect" we'd have little variety of personalities or appearance. Everyone would sound alike and the world would not be nearly as interesting and diverse. Having some perfection in our lives is super, but having nothing but perfection would be catastrophic in so many ways.

Diamonds that range in every possible way from perfect give us their guidance on what parts of perfection we enjoy and what parts we like with a little personal flavor or look. I always liked old cut diamonds because each one had an individual face and character. Some were far more charming then others. Once in a while you found one that really was outstanding and having seen so many others that lacked something made you realize a special stone when you came upon it.

For those who are driven by the numbers, the very best cut stones are completely in character. For those who appreciate the randomness and diversity of beauty, maybe the numbers and facts don't make the stone, but what motivated the purchase and the gift stand out to them. I understand both ways of seeing the diamond world and appreciate both approaches along with the mix of those in between.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Thank you, MissGotRocks!

I was working this out in my head as I was writing - your wise words are very insightful. Thinking it through as I typed made me wonder how others navigate this, hence… the thread.

Thanks for taking time to read and respond with your very kind words!

You are most welcome. I joined here in 2005 and had been a lurker prior to that. I didn’t get my first ACA until 2017! Where there is a will, there is a way and today isn’t the end of the line. You may go back and forth a million times about whether this is really important or not. Other life expenses may be much more pressing than a diamond. You will figure this out one way or another one of these days.

 

[Karl_K]

Give it a clean and take it on a date to lots of different lighting conditions and just enjoy it entertaining you.

 

[Lpsl]

Here she is, BTW

 

[Rockdiamond]

PS and the information gleaned here is both a blessing and a curse at times.

BINGO!!
I can't count the number of times someone has joined PS, and done "research" only to learn they have some sort of a piece of $hit on their finger because the crown angle is 35.5%!!!!
I can appreciate "Super Ideal Diamonds".
But the assumption that every observer will pick a Super Ideal over @Lpsl's stone in a comparison test is just plain wrong.
Don't necessarily assume you're in the group who'd pick a super ideal.....

 

[Lpsl]

BINGO!!
I can't count the number of times someone has joined PS, and done "research" only to learn they have some sort of a piece of $hit on their finger because the crown angle is 35.5%!!!!
I can appreciate "Super Ideal Diamonds".
But the assumption that every observer will pick a Super Ideal over @Lpsl's stone in a comparison test is just plain wrong.
Don't necessarily assume you're in the group who'd pick a super ideal.....

Wow- I really appreciate this - especially coming from you.Thank you!!!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Imo contentment is a practice and an art, not something you’re born with. I think the words you use to describe your stone show that you do love it. None of us are perfect and yet all of us are worthy of love. If you don’t expect perfection in your partner, don’t expect it in your diamond!

FWIW, my view is different from others on here - I have not, and do not, prioritise cut above everything else - I don’t want something that is overly deep or milky etc but something that falls within the general barometer of “decently well cut” is good enough for me. I have seen one super ideal cut in real life that I know of and while it was beautiful, I wasn’t wowed enough to want to pay any form of a premium for it.

 

[Lpsl]

Imo contentment is a practice and an art, not something you’re born with. I think the words you use to describe your stone show that you do love it. None of us are perfect and yet all of us are worthy of love. If you don’t expect perfection in your partner, don’t expect it in your diamond!

FWIW, my view is different from others on here - I have not, and do not, prioritise cut above everything else - I don’t want something that is overly deep or milky etc but something that falls within the general barometer of “decently well cut” is good enough for me. I have seen one super ideal cut in real life that I know of and while it’s beautiful, I wasn’t wowed enough to pay any form of a premium for it.

Very wise words. Thank you
And you are right- I love that is is perfectly US, in so many incredibly meaningful ways, I would not easily trade it for anything,

 

[dk168]

I was with my mum when she purchased a 1.94ct G/H VS MRB from a jeweller nearly 50 years ago.

It was very bright and sparkly, and I had always hoped it would be mine one day.

I now know it is not an ideal cut diamond, and can see an extra facet in the girdle under 10x magnification.

Although I am not a fan of MRBs and prefer ECs and OECs, however, I was not going to say no when she gave it to me about 10 years ago!

I did not want to set it in a ring, so I had it set in a bangle instead, and wear it as often as I can. It is a much-treasured piece with lots of happy memories.

Would I buy such a diamond myself if I had the money? No, or any other MRB as I am not keen on MRBs.

However, when I was looking for an under-1ct OEC earlier this year, I did not want a modern ideal cut stone, and went to Ivy and Rose and bought one of their less than ideal old stock OEC instead.

DK

 

[0515vision]

With unlimited funds, we could all try the best of the best, and then next year do the same with the future best of the best. Then the story would be, “I try this until something with better specs comes along.”

But in the practical world, we commit to something with the money and knowledge we have at the time. That is, a version of me makes the best choice possible for that particular time.

I don’t a perfect stone, but I know exactly which perfect version of me bought this beauty - a single gal who scraped some money together to celebrate a personal health milestone. I was proud of the research I had done up to that point, but it was not expert level research. (As they say, you don’t know what you don’t know.) Anyway, it was the perfect diamond at the time, and it was tied to a priceless story.

God willing, I will have another event or milestone to celebrate. At the time, a new version of me will make a set of choices based on what I know then. The specs and and facts and angles and certificates are only participants in my celebration of myself. They are not the stars of the show, my life is.

So bless your dear stone that turns heads from time to time, accompanied you two through covid, and even tangentially brought you to PS. She represents the wise you who made it possible for you to have made it this far.

 

[Lpsl]

With unlimited funds, we could all try the best of the best, and then next year do the same with the future best of the best. Then the story would be, “I try this until something with better specs comes along.”

But in the practical world, we commit to something with the money and knowledge we have at the time. That is, a version of me makes the best choice possible for that particular time.

I don’t a perfect stone, but I know exactly which perfect version of me bought this beauty - a single gal who scraped some money together to celebrate a personal health milestone. I was proud of the research I had done up to that point, but it was not expert level research. (As they say, you don’t know what you don’t know.) Anyway, it was the perfect diamond at the time, and it was tied to a priceless story.

God willing, I will have another event or milestone to celebrate. At the time, a new version of me will make a set of choices based on what I know then. The specs and and facts and angles and certificates are only participants in my celebration of myself. They are not the stars of the show, my life is.

So bless your dear stone that turns heads from time to time, accompanied you two through covid, and even tangentially brought you to PS. She represents the wise you who made it possible for you to have made it this far.

This is just beautiful (I’m not crying, you’re crying).

Thank you for sharing your story, congratulations to you for your milestone and your badass celebration thereof, and your delightful perspective on it all.

And thank you for honoring the beautiful realities of how we get to choose what’s beautiful to us- and relish the paths we gravel before, during, and after those choices. To honor th beauty of what we have, on our fingers and in our hearts

 

[Lpsl]

I was with my mum when she purchased a 1.94ct G/H VS MRB from a jeweller nearly 50 years ago.

It was very bright and sparkly, and I had always hoped it would be mine one day.

I now know it is not an ideal cut diamond, and can see an extra facet in the girdle under 10x magnification.

Although I am not a fan of MRBs and prefer ECs and OECs, however, I was not going to say no when she gave it to me about 10 years ago!

I did not want to set it in a ring, so I had it set in a bangle instead, and wear it as often as I can. It is a much-treasured piece with lots of happy memories.

Would I buy such a diamond myself if I had the money? No, or any other MRB as I am not keen on MRBs.

However, when I was looking for an under-1ct OEC earlier this year, I did not want a modern ideal cut stone, and went to Ivy and Rose and bought one of their less than ideal old stock OEC instead.

DK

Thank you for sharing your grandmother’s story and its place in your heart. What an honor to have and continue the legacy of her grand diamond — what a huge purchase that stone was all those years ago!!!

And congratulations on your new-to-you imperfectly beautiful OEC- may you wear both in love and good health

 

[seaurchin]

I have a large-ish mined diamond that has a yellowish streak, which I didn't mind at first in an upgraded e- ring. It seemed to me camoflauged in the yellow gold setting. It was also the reason the price was within my reach (this was before lab diamonds became popular or I probably would have gone with a lab diamond instead). But then I changed my mind and did mind the streak. I also decided I didn't like wearing a large-ish diamond ring after all.

So I had it re-made into a bracelet. The yellowish streak is not noticeable to me that way and I enjoy wearing my diamond again. (I also feel less self-conscious about its size that way and less like a potential target for robbery, because people don't seem to know it's a diamond when it's set in the bangle bracelet).

I know it also seems strange to buy a large-ish diamond then want to disguise it lol but that's just how it worked out for me in the end. Point being, I think you just can't know everything until you wear a piece for a while. And what we like can also change over time.

So anyway, one idea is to consider having the diamond remade into something else. Flaws, low color etc. seem to me most noticeable in a ring, especially an e-ring. But they might be just fine to you in a bracelet or a pendant, or maybe even in a right-hand ring.

Now I don't have a diamond e-ring but I don't care, for now anyway. I have several other rings I wear instead, cubic zirconia, plain band, etc. I might get a smaller, more perfect lab diamond e-ring sometime or not, IDK. In my mind, I already have a large-ish mined diamond and one is enough for me, whether it's in an e-ring or elsewhere.

Personally, the only option I decided against was re-selling any (mined) diamonds. Once I have one, I will either re-fashion the piece or pass it down. It seems to me you just take too much of a loss by selling but jmo.

 

[Lpsl]

I have a large-ish mined diamond that has a yellowish streak through it, which I didn't mind at first in an upgraded e- ring. It was also the reason the price was within my reach (this was before lab diamonds became popular or I probably would have gone with a lab diamond instead). But then I changed my mind and did mind the streak. I also decided I didn't like wearing a large-ish diamond ring after all.

So I had it re-made into a bracelet with a yellow gold bezel. The yellowish streak is not noticeable to me that way and I enjoy wearing my diamond again. (I also feel less self-conscious about its size that way and less like a potential target for robbery, because people don't seem to know it's a diamond, set in the bangle bracelet).

I know it seems strange to buy a large-ish diamond then want to disguise it lol but that's just how it worked out for me in the end. I think you just can't know everything until you wear a piece for a while.

So anyway, one idea is to consider having it remade into something else. Flaws, low color etc. seem to me most noticeable in a ring, especially an e-ring. But they might be just fine to you in a bracelet or a pendant, or maybe even in a right-hand ring.

Now I don't have a diamond e-ring but I don't care, for now anyway. I have several other rings I wear instead, cubic zirconia, plain band, etc. I might get a lab diamond e-ring sometime or not, IDK. In my mind, I already have a large-ish diamond and one is enough for me, whether it's in an e-ring or elsewhere.

I think it can just take a while to figure out what we like and that can also change over time.

Personally, the only option I decided against was re-selling any diamonds. Once I have one, I will either re-fashion the piece or pass it down. It seems to me you just take too much of a loss by selling but jmo.

Thank you for sharing. What a lovely way to keep your stone in your life- and in your heart

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

My preferences have me look at stones from a different angle. I never look at stones for their cut quality first, because I prefer colored stones and then antique cut diamonds. It is their imperfection that make them interesting to my eye. They strive to be more. They are not static. I would recognize them anywhere, like old friends.

I have a collection of smaller side diamonds in a ring from the forties that also embody this- and I think they would lean toward early brilliant or 60/60? Possibly? They are the brightest, sparkliest diamonds I've ever seen. They outshine moissanite and hold their own next to my MIL's many times larger and perfectly proportioned rings. They are shameless little marvels and I love them. They would be discarded in pursuit of perfection if any larger for focal stones by most out of hand, especially on a forum like PS, and yet they are perfection, in that they're not.
There is a precious endless beauty in imperfect things.


The old adages, 'Comparison is the thief of joy' or the variation
'Perfect be the enemy of good' hold true.

 

[glitterata]

Pied Beauty by Gerard Manley Hopkins | Poetry Foundation

Glory be to God for dappled things—

www.poetryfoundation.org

 

[Lpsl]

Pied Beauty by Gerard Manley Hopkins | Poetry Foundation

Glory be to God for dappled things—

www.poetryfoundation.org

Wow. Thank you.

 

[Lpsl]

My preferences have me look at stones from a different angle. I never look at stones for their cut quality first, because I prefer colored stones and then antique cut diamonds. It is their imperfection that make them interesting to my eye. They strive to be more. They are not static. I would recognize them anywhere, like old friends.

I have a collection of smaller side diamonds in a ring from the forties that also embody this- and I think they would lean toward early brilliant or 60/60? Possibly? They are the brightest, sparkliest diamonds I've ever seen. They outshine moissanite and hold their own next to my MIL's many times larger and perfectly proportioned rings. They are shameless little marvels and I love them. They would be discarded in pursuit of perfection if any larger for focal stones by most out of hand, especially on a forum like PS, and yet they are perfection, in that they're not.
There is a precious endless beauty in imperfect things.


The old adages, 'Comparison is the thief of joy' or the variation
'Perfect be the enemy of good' hold true.

Love this, and would love to see your beautiful sparkles

 

[Dreamer_D]

Your diamond is basically perfect. Just enjoy it. I doubt you would even notice the difference between your stone and whatever you imagine the perfectly cut diamond is in most normal viewing situations where you diamond will be dirty and your hand moving and the lighting all over the place. In five years or so you probably won’t care about this problem at all!

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

My preferences have me look at stones from a different angle. I never look at stones for their cut quality first, because I prefer colored stones and then antique cut diamonds. It is their imperfection that make them interesting to my eye. They strive to be more. They are not static. I would recognize them anywhere, like old friends.

I have a collection of smaller side diamonds in a ring from the forties that also embody this- and I think they would lean toward early brilliant or 60/60? Possibly? They are the brightest, sparkliest diamonds I've ever seen. They outshine moissanite and hold their own next to my MIL's many times larger and perfectly proportioned rings. They are shameless little marvels and I love them. They would be discarded in pursuit of perfection if any larger for focal stones by most out of hand, especially on a forum like PS, and yet they are perfection, in that they're not.
There is a precious endless beauty in imperfect things.


The old adages, 'Comparison is the thief of joy' or the variation
'Perfect be the enemy of good' hold true.

I think you're a shameless little marvel ( and probably my favorite one). This is wonderful. Thank you.

 

[RRfromR]

My heart is into antiques, and, for me, jewelry is just an art medium and a way to appreciate someone's craftsmanship that is surviving longer than their time on this world. I love wonky hand cuts, they are unique and personal to me. I find the modern cuts very sterile and don't make my heart skip, like old cuts do. I do love good clarity. My problem is that I always want more lol.
These are my wonky ones.

 

[Lpsl]

My heart is into antiques, and, for me, jewelry is just an art medium and a way to appreciate someone's craftsmanship that is surviving longer than their time on this world. I love wonky hand cuts, they are unique and personal to me. I find the modern cuts very sterile and don't make my heart skip, like old cuts do. I do love good clarity. My problem is that I always want more lol.
These are my wonky ones.

Oh, wow! These are enchanting

 

[Lpsl]

Your diamond is basically perfect. Just enjoy it. I doubt you would even notice the difference between your stone and whatever you imagine the perfectly cut diamond is in most normal viewing situations where you diamond will be dirty and your hand moving and the lighting all over the place. In five years or so you probably won’t care about this problem at all!

Thank you

 

[Heathcat24]

Oh this is an interesting topic, @Lpsl ! I have bought several (perfect!) diamonds over the last 6 years, including upgrading a few times to a 2 ct solitaire (soon to be a three-stone.) But I wear that, and other rings, on my right hand.

My avatar picture is my wedding set. My now-husband presented me with that .90 F VVS2 Asscher on a family vacation in Aspen! We were hiking. It was snowing. And he got down on one knee beside a tree with a big hole in it. It was picturesque and romantic and perfect!

There is no other diamond that will ever hold that kind of emotional memory for me. The Asscher is not perfectly cut. It's a little deep, I think. But I love it! And it would be the last piece of jewelry I parted with if I had to do a fire sale on diamonds. Lol

I added the eternity for our 10th anniversary. That's what brought me to Pricescope. And I have bought a lot of jewelry since. But, to me, the most perfect diamond I own is that Asscher. And I still feel blessed to have it and wear it!

 

[kenny]

You ask, "

How do you find your diamond-peace with the beautiful yet less than super-ideal stones in your life?"​

I don't buy "less than super-ideal stones".
Life's too short to compromise on something so important to me.
I buy only diamonds that I consider to be perfect in every way ...

But since I'm not Elon Musk, I just buy smaller (but perfect) diamonds.

In white diamonds the cut has to be the best of the best.
In Fancy Colored Diamonds the color itself has the be the best of the best that I can find.

For the prices I've paid I could have bought much larger stones.
But size doesn't excite me as much as performance.

If I want to impress someone (nothing wrong with that) I don't wave my big honking bling under their chin.
I count on my superlative wit, intelligence, and character.

This 's my diamond peace.

 

[kenny]

Oh, I forgot to mention.
I also bought a perfectly-cut MRB that's D IF.
Maybe I'll get it set into a solo earring some day.

It's only 22 points, but hey, that MOFO is a real fireball.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

"But size doesn't excite me as much as performance." kenny, you do not disappoint.
We're waiting for the MOFO earring so we can add rakish good looks to your attributes.